https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 06 Apr 2026 09:17:06 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/itll-get-better-vent/page/2#post-1673548 Mon, 02 Jun 2014 15:36:28 +0000 abbydabbydoodlebug 1673548@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Emsmems: I would have him take wake ups more often, but for some reason, I just can't pump enough. For instance, I was away from DD for 4 hours yesterday and I pumped for 20 minutes when I got home and only got 2 ounces. But when I self-expressed, I was shooting out milk! So I don't know if it's my pump, flanges, or just my boobs don't like pumping. So it takes me like 3-4 days of pumping to get 5 oz. for a bag. :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/itll-get-better-vent/page/2#post-1673526 Mon, 02 Jun 2014 15:22:22 +0000 BabyBoecksMom 1673526@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I can commiserate. It's so hard and I hate people saying that because this is my 2nd time dealing with a horrible sleeper. It's miserable and I want to punch people who tell me "it'll get better" like I don't know what happened. It took a year before DD1 STTN. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/itll-get-better-vent#post-1673500 Mon, 02 Jun 2014 15:09:38 +0000 Ellie 1673500@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>What bugs me more is when people complain about being tired in front of me. The other day my sister said: "oh, I'm so tired, my kid was up twice to feed last night." I wanted to punch her - I'd kill for only getting up twice!</p> <p>I know that ppl are legitimately tired and I don't own tiredness, but I'm going on months of little sleep. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/itll-get-better-vent#post-1673454 Mon, 02 Jun 2014 14:44:42 +0000 immabeetoo 1673454@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@abbydabbydoodlebug: I love that folks in this thread are still telling you what you don't want to hear, haha!!</p> <p>FWIW, it's hard *not* to say because you simple want to reassure folks once you're on the other side, you know? But it's a good reminder that not everyone likes hearing it. Glad you're in a better space! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/itll-get-better-vent#post-1673448 Mon, 02 Jun 2014 14:43:00 +0000 Emsmems 1673448@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@abbydabbydoodlebug: I get it! It's nice to have someone to commiserate with! And oh yes, I often throw in the towel and bring DS in our bed!! And while nights are slightly improving, naps are the devil and out to destroy all happiness, according to my son! Haha. </p> <p>We have instituted that DH takes the first wake up(s) with milk I pump right before bed (fresh can sit out 4-6 hours, so we don't have to heat it in the MOTN), then I take the rest. It has helped TREMENDOUSLY. I would highly suggest continuing that for your sanity! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/itll-get-better-vent#post-1673379 Mon, 02 Jun 2014 14:10:29 +0000 wonderstruck 1673379@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So happy to hear that! :happy: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/itll-get-better-vent#post-1673175 Mon, 02 Jun 2014 13:12:43 +0000 abbydabbydoodlebug 1673175@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Y'all, I feel so much better today. DH's parents drove up to watch DD so we could go have lunch and a movie (she slept 2.5 hours while they were here, of course. Lol). Then DH took one of the night feeds because we had leftover milk that we needed to use up. I ended up only getting up once last night! I still woke up a bunch because I'm used to it I guess, but I got to sleep from 130-630! I'm in such a better mood and DH and I even got a chance to have some "adult time" which has not happened in a loooong time. Woohoo! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/itll-get-better-vent#post-1672757 Mon, 02 Jun 2014 11:18:54 +0000 Mommy Finger 1672757@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When people would tell me that "it gets better" I wanted to scream at them and say when? When does it get better? Let me know the exact date this will get better so at least I can cross of the days and look forward to it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/itll-get-better-vent#post-1672532 Mon, 02 Jun 2014 09:56:43 +0000 Lozza 1672532@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would love to snuggle LO in the middle of the night. I could just do without also snuggling LO 1/4 of the way into the night and 3/4 of the way into the night, and occasionally also 1/3 and 2/3 of the way into the night. Makes our time together a little less special, you know? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/itll-get-better-vent#post-1672509 Mon, 02 Jun 2014 09:47:20 +0000 autumn865 1672509@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I totally get you because when we hit the four month regression I remember just crying to DH that "I will never sleep again!!!!" As time passes it's easier to look back at see only the sunshine and rainbows (maybe that's how were able to have more than one child?!) In the meantime just take care of yourself. DD was an awful sleeper that crashed and burned during the 4 month sleep regression and before we finally did some sleep training at 6 months I was so sleep deprived I was depressed. I was so tired I didn't trust myself to drive so we stayed home all day counting the hours and minutes until the next nap so I could pass out too. Ask for help and do things when you can to feel more human. It won't be like this forever! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/itll-get-better-vent#post-1672230 Mon, 02 Jun 2014 08:09:09 +0000 lizzywiz 1672230@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@abbydabbydoodlebug: Agree so wholeheartedly. You can't see me but I am nodding vigorously to my computer screen. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/itll-get-better-vent#post-1672125 Mon, 02 Jun 2014 05:51:43 +0000 gilmoregirl 1672125@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It is annoying because, when? When does it get better? It's the kind of thing you can only really think/understand looking back after you've made it through. It's not helpful in the thick of things. </p> <p>I felt the same when I was pregnant and throwing up a zillion times a day and everyone told me I would feel better in a few weeks when I was second tri. First of all, even a few weeks is a long time to be that sick, plus nope. Nope I didn't get better then. Looking back, I'm ok with it but I'll never tell anyone else that it gets better. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/itll-get-better-vent#post-1672089 Mon, 02 Jun 2014 04:28:10 +0000 erinpye 1672089@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If it helps- it's 2:30 AM and I'm on nursing/rocking session #2 so far with my 16 week old. You're not alone! Sooooo tired. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/itll-get-better-vent#post-1672053 Mon, 02 Jun 2014 00:44:29 +0000 Sapphiresun 1672053@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I hate to say it, but when LO's sleep improved (briefly), I DID find myself a tiny bit wistful for those times rocking her in the middle of the night when it felt like it was just me and my baby awake having time together while the rest of the world was sleeping.</p> <p>Then she hit another regression at 8 months and I wanted to kick my own ass for being an idiot. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/itll-get-better-vent#post-1672045 Mon, 02 Jun 2014 00:26:22 +0000 twoofeverything 1672045@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I get annoyed for three (almost contradictory) reasons:<br /> A) Do I really look that miserable? Am I making it look hard? Because it is, but damnit, it's also pretty freaking awesome, and I want to make this look easy!<br /> B) If you aren't a twin mom, stfu.<br /> C) what is your definition of easier ? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/itll-get-better-vent#post-1672037 Sun, 01 Jun 2014 23:58:14 +0000 JennyD 1672037@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I know. It's the least helpful thing someone can ever say!</p> <p>List of acceptable alternatives:<br /> Have a drink!<br /> Why don't you take a nap while I quietly entertain your baby and clean your house?<br /> Here's a magic potion that will make you baby sleep for 15 hours!</p> <p>Hang in there. They have to go to college sometime. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/itll-get-better-vent#post-1672033 Sun, 01 Jun 2014 23:48:30 +0000 birdofafeather 1672033@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's so hard in the thick of it. I would just remind myself that people mean well (strangers got a pass, but I would absolutely lose it with DH and family if needed) Hugs mama. You're doing a great job and it's okay that you're having a tough time! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/itll-get-better-vent#post-1671853 Sun, 01 Jun 2014 20:40:06 +0000 abbydabbydoodlebug 1671853@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Grace: Lol, thank you for your sympathy ;)</p> <p>@Emsmems: Haha, I both love and hate that we are going through the same thing. I hope you know I mean that in a good way. &lt;3 So glad your LO is getting a little better! Last night it took 2 hours for her to fall asleep, she slept for 3, 2.5, 1.5 and then she kept waking up after I nursed her down, so I just threw in the towel and let her sleep on my lap. I got like 15 min sleep from 530-8. These babies, seriously.</p> <p>@wonderstruck: Yes! Or when I share how I'm struggling they just laugh. :( My own mother laughed at me! UGH. I am thinking about having DH take over a wake up or 2. I just can't sleep when I can hear her cry though and my freezer stash is low and I need it for when DH and I will be away and she'll be at her grandparent's for a day. </p> <p>@googly-eyes: Her 4 month check up is in a couple weeks, so I'm going to see what her pedi says about her sleeping habits at that point. She might suggest we start sleep training. </p> <p>@grizz: &lt;3 you made me LOL with "lying liars who lie"</p> <p>@HLK208: Very true! At least it's positive. It's just hard to be positive and hear positive when I'm in such a dark place right now. I'm normally a very positive thinking person, but sleep deprivation has changed me!</p> <p>@Mae: Yeah, I know in my head that it will get better.... someday. But it doesn't always help to hear it. I try to remind myself that there's others that have things worse than I do and I should be grateful for the situation I'm in because I'm sure there would be a way that it could be worse. I really hope your LO's situation improves soon. I feel for you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/itll-get-better-vent#post-1671848 Sun, 01 Jun 2014 20:38:51 +0000 JoyfulKiwi 1671848@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@wonderstruck: I did appreciate hearing from a different perspective and, you're right, depression hadn't occurred to me when I made my comment. Thank you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/itll-get-better-vent#post-1671745 Sun, 01 Jun 2014 19:54:56 +0000 lawbee11 1671745@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH has been saying this to me since LO was 3 months old...and now she's 10 months old and still not STTN. A few months ago I had a breakdown and just told him not to say that anymore. I didn't find it helpful and it was a constant reminder that things still weren't better. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/itll-get-better-vent#post-1671738 Sun, 01 Jun 2014 19:52:48 +0000 Mae 1671738@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sort of agree. Although I know that people are just trying to help. And I try to keep it in mind because I know it WILL get better and we won't have a screaming newborn forever. And I have to believe it will get better or I'd be having a rougher time than I will. But at the same time... when you're in the thick of it... it sucks. And people saying it will get better does not actually make it better. So... meh. (And I've not actually had anyone tell me to enjoy every minute but if they did I think I'd punch them. I love my daughter so much but at not-quite-3-weeks with her screaming for 4-5+ hrs/day and people telling me that in a few MONTHS it will be better.... telling me to enjoy these moments would make me rage on them. I do enjoy some moments. The ones where she is quiet and/or sleeping. But I most certainly don't enjoy all of them...) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/itll-get-better-vent#post-1671679 Sun, 01 Jun 2014 19:16:50 +0000 Tanjowen 1671679@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I hated when people parroted that phrase to me over and over during the first 4 weeks. I had super high anxiety and I did NOT think it would get better, and it just made me feel ashamed I was struggling so much.</p> <p>We just survived the 4 month sleep regression, and it was rough. The only thing I can say is that you will make it to the end of today. And the end of tomorrow. And when all those tomorrows add up, you will realize you have survived. And it won't get better, it will get different. I tell my LO all the time that it's a good thing he's super cute because I'm tired and it's his fault! :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/itll-get-better-vent#post-1671369 Sun, 01 Jun 2014 14:27:13 +0000 looch 1671369@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I never say it gets better, I say it gets different. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/itll-get-better-vent#post-1671368 Sun, 01 Jun 2014 14:26:02 +0000 HLK208 1671368@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Maybe I'm crazy because I actually like hearing that it will get better! Even if someone gives that advice without actually knowing, at least it's positive rather than comments like, "just you wait"</p> <p>But I have to agree when you're sleep deprived sometimes it's nice just to get sympathy rather than someone telling you what will happen based on their experience </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/itll-get-better-vent#post-1671367 Sun, 01 Jun 2014 14:25:30 +0000 Boheme 1671367@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Been there :( My LO was maybe the crappiest sleeper of all time til he was 8.5 months old. As for that people who told me I'd miss the sleepless nights? Umm, they are lying liars who lie. I do not miss that nonsense.<br /> (Hugs) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/itll-get-better-vent#post-1671258 Sun, 01 Jun 2014 12:41:27 +0000 googly-eyes 1671258@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I get it. I know what people mean from the other side (the it'll get better part, not the I miss getting up with them for snuggles part. I haven't missed that.) But it's not helpful and I think people really just forget. Hang in there. You're about at an age you could try some sort of sleep training. Or a night (or more, I did but lo was sleeping ok at that particular time) away leaving grandma or someone else who misses baby cuddles in the motn to fend for themselves! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/itll-get-better-vent#post-1671211 Sun, 01 Jun 2014 11:31:35 +0000 wonderstruck 1671211@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ugh, that I hate that! Whatever their intentions may be, the reality is that is just comes across as a guilt trip like you're some terrible mother for going through emotions that are 100% normal and not enjoying every moment of every day. And it's crazy, because I know SO MANY PEOPLE who hated hearing this when they had a newborn, and then by the time their baby is 1 they've completely forgotten what it was like and start spouting this stuff.</p> <p>Yes, my 1 year old doesn't snuggle as much as he used to. But frankly, I would not trade in sleeping through the night for snuggles that come with pure exhaustion - being exhausted for such a long period of time is hell. Do you have anyone who could take over for you so you can get just one night of solid sleep? Whether it's your parents or DH crashing on the couch and taking all the wake-ups that night, one night of sleep can make a huge difference.</p> <p>@JoyfulKiwi: I realize you're trying to help, but when someone is venting about the phrase 'it gets better' and you chime in to tell them that it does get better and they should be appreciating even the crappy moments...that's not helpful, it's exactly what they're complaining about! And frankly, telling people how they will miss things and should be thankful to be alive and such can be VERY detrimental, particularly towards someone going through PPD, and you never know if that applies to the person you're talking to. It can discourage them from seeking help, make them feel ashamed, etc. I realize that's quite clearly not what you're trying to do here, but thought you could use hearing the perspective of someone who has been through pre-natal and postpartum depression. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/itll-get-better-vent#post-1671209 Sun, 01 Jun 2014 11:23:34 +0000 Emsmems 1671209@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wow, you took the words out of my mouth! Hahaha, I love this! I read it to my husband and he loves you now. Haha. The last 3 nights we have FINALLY had a bit of progress, and the first stretch has been 4 hours, followed by 2-3, then every hour. Oh, and 6am seems to be his new wake up time. So that's awesome, and not better at all. Naps still suck... </p> <p>But, anyway, it is SLIGHTLY better, at 19 weeks. He has now rolled both directions which may be the turning point. I totally feel you, as you already know. I want to tell those people and the ones that ask when/if we are having a second kid "do you remember ANYTHING about the first few months?!?" Argh. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/itll-get-better-vent#post-1671197 Sun, 01 Jun 2014 10:46:02 +0000 Mrs. High Heels 1671197@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I HATE the phrase, "It gets better" because yea some things do get better, but other things get worse. Parenting isn't linear! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/itll-get-better-vent#post-1671194 Sun, 01 Jun 2014 10:44:52 +0000 Grace 1671194@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sounds to me like you had a situation where you just wanted the person to listen and nod their head in sympathy. So I just deleted my personal anecdote ;) *nodding head in sympathy* </p>