https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 15 May 2026 02:24:02 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/its-not-perfect#post-2313696 Thu, 08 Oct 2015 13:00:08 +0000 Raindrop 2313696@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>"I always tell her it looks great and I love it but that doesn't always work." I'm not sure if you are being general but these comments doesn't usually help a person with perfection issues, it's too general. </p> <p>Things to say to defuse a person with perfection issues is usually commenting on very specific things. When tracing letters there is not much options to say there. You might have to get creative on pinpointing a specific way to comment on them.</p> <p>For the coloring maybe you could try saying "I like how you used this color here". This comments will help realize what is still good about their "non-perfect" coloring, if that makes sense.</p> <p>That might help and it might not. Sorry just throwing a suggestion. :)</p> <p>I agree with above posters as frustrating as this might be it probably means they might be gifted. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/its-not-perfect#post-2313633 Thu, 08 Oct 2015 12:08:44 +0000 T-Mom 2313633@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My DD is a perfectionist (so am I) and it's an ongoing struggle. She has at times rubbed her paper raw when erasing because she was so frustrated with her work. I do try to empathize and try to understand her frustration. She's not living up to her own standard, so sometimes telling her I think it's great doesn't cut it for her. As they get older, I think they learn to process their frustration a little better. Our school district put out this bulletin for gifted kids about perfectionism. I thought it was helpful: <a href="http://www.casegiftedchildren.org/news/Top-Ten-Tips-for-Perfectionists.pdf" rel="nofollow">http://www.casegiftedchildren.org/news/Top-Ten-Tips-for-Perfectionists.pdf</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/its-not-perfect#post-2313624 Thu, 08 Oct 2015 12:02:38 +0000 BeachMama 2313624@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>OMG DD has always been like this. She's 3 now, but even as an infant would get upset if she couldn't figure out how to work a toy. She likes to lay out blankets on the floor and gets super upset if she can't get it "perfect." And also gets frustrated easily if she can't do something. I try to remind her that it's okay, to just keep trying, and that things don't need to be perfect. Not sure how much that has helped because she still gets upset about it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/its-not-perfect#post-2313620 Thu, 08 Oct 2015 11:57:47 +0000 regberadaisy 2313620@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My child went through a similar phase too. I just remind her that it's Ok because she tried her best. Or help her depending on the situation.</p> <p>@honeybear: same. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/its-not-perfect#post-2313573 Thu, 08 Oct 2015 11:18:28 +0000 catomd00 2313573@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Maybe instead of complimenting her, show empathy ? Maybe say I know you are upset that you didn't do it exactly the way you wanted to. It's ok, we are just having fun and can try again! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/its-not-perfect#post-2313476 Thu, 08 Oct 2015 09:44:03 +0000 QueensBee 2313476@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>She might be a bit young for this, but in my classroom we use the book A Beautiful Oops to help students cope with their mistakes and perfectionist tendencies!</p> <p><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Beautiful-Oops-Barney-Saltzberg/dp/076115728X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&#038;qid=1444315233&#038;sr=8-1&#038;keywords=beautiful+oops" rel="nofollow">http://www.amazon.com/Beautiful-Oops-Barney-Saltzberg/dp/076115728X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&#038;qid=1444315233&#038;sr=8-1&#038;keywords=beautiful+oops</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/its-not-perfect#post-2313454 Thu, 08 Oct 2015 09:27:44 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2313454@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes! My nephew had a lot of issues with this so I was somewhat prepare when my daughter started it at age 3. </p> <p>We focus on "Trying our Best" and "Practice Practice Practice". </p> <p>Its hard though to tell her it doesn't need to be perfect but then now she says, well this is how I want to write an S (but its backwards). We also had to let her know that letters need to be accurate so people can read them but art can be any way she wants it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/its-not-perfect#post-2313451 Thu, 08 Oct 2015 09:24:24 +0000 .twist. 2313451@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Could you do something that's "not perfect" and then show her and tell her that "it isn't perfect, but I just LOVE it!" ?? Maybe if she sees that you're ok with things not being perfect she will copy? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/its-not-perfect#post-2313450 Thu, 08 Oct 2015 09:23:48 +0000 gingerbebe 2313450@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not to thread Jack but I read something recently about gifted children having a lot of issues with perfectionism. While giftedness isn't usually determined until much later in life, I have heard universally that there are clear personality traits and disciplining issues that are different for gift children versus non gifted kids which require different parenting solutions. I would imagine would be relevant even before being deemed gifted or even if not deemed gifted from that perfectionism standpoint. Just a thought. My friend is a straight up genius and his mom was like once we figured out he was gifted things made so much more sense because he was just so DIFFICULT as a baby and toddler - sensitive, easily frustrated and angered, obsessed with perfection - things often also associated with being on the spectrum! But perhaps not! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/its-not-perfect#post-2313362 Thu, 08 Oct 2015 08:29:37 +0000 honeybear 2313362@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I remind LO that it often takes a lot of practice to gain proficiency. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/its-not-perfect#post-2313337 Thu, 08 Oct 2015 08:15:52 +0000 Bubbles 2313337@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DS is only 21 months but will get very upset if he is building with blocks and he knocks them down by mistake. I usually just agree with him that it is frustrating when something doesn't go right, and that he can try again if he wants to. He has recently started coming back to them after having a bit of a shout and saying 'Try 'Gain'! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/its-not-perfect#post-2313323 Thu, 08 Oct 2015 07:56:13 +0000 Rockies11 2313323@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Bao: Mine doesn't have the language for it at 2, but she becomes very frustrated and refuses to keep doing something if it's not perfect. Like she will be drinking from a cup, dribble a little bit, set the cup down and yell "oh no" and then wants me to clean it up and won't drink from the cup again. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/its-not-perfect#post-2313300 Thu, 08 Oct 2015 07:39:54 +0000 Bao 2313300@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My 3 year old has recently started getting frustrated and saying something isn't perfect if she didn't do it just the way she planned. For example, we have this app where you can trace the alphabet, if she doesn't trace it just right she will get upset and say "it's not perfect!" She will also do this when coloring sometimes. I always tell her it looks great and I love it but that doesn't always work. I'm sure this is just a phase but does anyone have any advice? Anyone else gone through this before? </p>