https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 13 May 2026 16:27:14 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ive-worked-hard-to-not-define-myself-by-my-weight-but-one-bad-facebook-pic-is-killing-me-tonight#post-1756495 Mon, 14 Jul 2014 08:02:07 +0000 lizzywiz 1756495@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@googly-eyes: Oh, the hugely fat men belittling slightly chubby women is always a classic at our family reunions. #@!$?! </p> <p>I feel better this morning. I guess I was just vulnerable last night. It is actually good to know it can still get to me, so I will be extra vigilant in how I act around my daughter- not gonna pass this particular brand of crazy down another generation!</p> <p>(my sister DID call. Wanted to know if I saw the pic, ....um, yeah) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ive-worked-hard-to-not-define-myself-by-my-weight-but-one-bad-facebook-pic-is-killing-me-tonight#post-1756253 Sun, 13 Jul 2014 23:26:35 +0000 googly-eyes 1756253@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Some of my giant sized family members are the very ones to comment on everyone else's weight. And yes, it drives me nuts. For example, my sister got called "pregnant" by my uncle who has spent most of the time I've known him (20something years) a good 50-100+ (like 200 even) lbs overweight.</p> <p>I especially hate when people post an obviously unflattering picture of you (general) just because they look especially thin or whatever in it. Totally not fair. :P </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ive-worked-hard-to-not-define-myself-by-my-weight-but-one-bad-facebook-pic-is-killing-me-tonight#post-1756214 Sun, 13 Jul 2014 22:32:20 +0000 Mrs. Bee 1756214@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>everyone in my family is skinny and i've always been the biggest one. like under 100 pounds ridiculously skinny. culturally commenting on whether you've gained ten pounds is perfectly acceptable. it's resulted in me having an unhealthy body image to this day as well as having dealt with anorexia in the past.</p> <p>i feel you and just wanted to send you some hugs! :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ive-worked-hard-to-not-define-myself-by-my-weight-but-one-bad-facebook-pic-is-killing-me-tonight#post-1756206 Sun, 13 Jul 2014 22:26:31 +0000 NurseMommy 1756206@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh man, I hear you. My family also features high levels of addiction, mental health issues, and obsession with looks. I've struggled my whole life with it. So sorry, no advice, but I'm here to commiserate! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ive-worked-hard-to-not-define-myself-by-my-weight-but-one-bad-facebook-pic-is-killing-me-tonight#post-1756150 Sun, 13 Jul 2014 21:39:36 +0000 Greentea 1756150@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lizzywiz: crappy. Ugh. I can say this: when I was/ am my thinnest (like you, recurring throughout my life), I am my least healthy- once I started actually eating food my health really improved and I try to remember *that* is the golden thing! Maybe you can relate to that? Pics do not reflect how anyone actually looks in this day and age... Can you have it taken off if it is a problem? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ive-worked-hard-to-not-define-myself-by-my-weight-but-one-bad-facebook-pic-is-killing-me-tonight#post-1756143 Sun, 13 Jul 2014 21:33:44 +0000 lizzywiz 1756143@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Greentea: I wish it were my perception, but I know for sure that if it wasn't me I would be getting phonecalls from my sis and mom re: a cousin gaining weight!<br /> Can you believe I actually had to go to therapy to determine the difference between ANTs (automatic negative thoughts) and reality? It blew my mind how often I was projecting my crud! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ive-worked-hard-to-not-define-myself-by-my-weight-but-one-bad-facebook-pic-is-killing-me-tonight#post-1756105 Sun, 13 Jul 2014 21:14:40 +0000 Mrs Green Grass 1756105@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I hear you!! I wish I didn't care, but I can't get past it either. Sounds like you're doing really well though! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ive-worked-hard-to-not-define-myself-by-my-weight-but-one-bad-facebook-pic-is-killing-me-tonight#post-1756094 Sun, 13 Jul 2014 21:08:05 +0000 Greentea 1756094@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lizzywiz: all I can say, is that rationally, from an outsider's perspective; that is really screwed up of them- if they are actually talking about your body (or were you saying you just perceive/ assume them to be?) Ain't nothing we can do about anybody- and my guess is, if they are anything like my family- if it isn't that thing, they will find something else! I don't know these people, but most likely they have their own insecurities that make them crave finding an angle in another to pry themselves up a notch. At least that is how it works in my extended family and I try to remember that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ive-worked-hard-to-not-define-myself-by-my-weight-but-one-bad-facebook-pic-is-killing-me-tonight#post-1756088 Sun, 13 Jul 2014 21:05:20 +0000 lizzywiz 1756088@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MoonMoon: eff the noise- love that! Thanks :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ive-worked-hard-to-not-define-myself-by-my-weight-but-one-bad-facebook-pic-is-killing-me-tonight#post-1756087 Sun, 13 Jul 2014 21:04:59 +0000 Amelieisme 1756087@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh, yes. I can totally relate. Weight is the most important thing...ridiculous! Hugs to you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ive-worked-hard-to-not-define-myself-by-my-weight-but-one-bad-facebook-pic-is-killing-me-tonight#post-1756080 Sun, 13 Jul 2014 21:01:13 +0000 MoonMoon 1756080@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lizzywiz: aw, we've all been there. An unflattering picture is just that! Have you seen those memes where beautiful women make ugly faces? The difference that expression, angle, lighting, etc makes is huge! Don't let it mess with your self perception!</p> <p>As for your family, I have a similar situation-the women in my family talk about weight and diet non-stop. But you have to distance yourself from it-as you said, there are so many great things in your life to focus on! Isn't life too short to worry about what some people with issues think? Is this what you'll think about on your deathbed? No! Eff the noise &lt;3 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ive-worked-hard-to-not-define-myself-by-my-weight-but-one-bad-facebook-pic-is-killing-me-tonight#post-1756056 Sun, 13 Jul 2014 20:47:48 +0000 lizzywiz 1756056@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If you have read my stuff before you know I have been fat and skinny- 5'4" and 115-200lbs. Most of that was before I was 20 years old. I have maintained 130ish-140ish for 15 years. A solid 'medium.'<br /> I try to base my self perception regarding my health on my fitness level. It usually works. But...<br /> My family has issues (don't they all?) with addiction, mental health aaaannnnddd body image. Thin is totally the golden ring. People openly use laxatives for weight control and regularly go on weird diets or use cigarettes and diet soda in place of food. In my family, weight really matters.<br /> I have worked past that shit for the most part.<br /> Tonight someone posted a very unflattering pic of me on facebook, on the family page. And knowing that the fact that I look fat is the discussion topic of the night is SO hard. And that is the most disappointing part of it- that I actually care that on their skewed value system I am less than successful because my great job and solid marriage and wonderful kid don't compare to being thin. AAARRRGGGHH! BLEEEERG! Every time I think have worked past my crazy , it finds me! :silly: </p> <p>Anyone else deal with this kind of baggage? </p>