https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 18 Apr 2026 07:52:50 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/jace-durgans-birth-story/page/3#post-1744177 Mon, 07 Jul 2014 21:23:08 +0000 anandam 1744177@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you for being brave enough to share your story with complete honesty about how you experienced it throughout. Reading yours has definitely helped me to process my own story, which you know paralleled yours in some ways. I never said it on our May boards but I'm actually a CNM and the idea that our difficult experiences might benefit a client really resonates. You'll be a wonderful midwife. And Jace is amazing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/jace-durgans-birth-story/page/3#post-1699507 Fri, 13 Jun 2014 15:39:22 +0000 tysonja 1699507@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>congratulations on your beautiful, and I mean BEAUTIFUL little baby! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/jace-durgans-birth-story/page/3#post-1699423 Fri, 13 Jun 2014 15:15:45 +0000 Mrs. Cookie 1699423@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@junebugmama: Just wanted to say thank you for sharing this! You have every right to feel angry and traumatized. It really does sound like you were bullied into it and that's awful, no one should go through that. I do hope your practice learns something from this experience. The whole time, I'm like, are those u/s' really that accurate? How do they know it's really over 11 lbs/12 lbs? </p> <p>I was so happy to see you say he was 9 lbs!! Clearly they needed to more certain before making a decision. Hugs to you! And what a beautiful family you have! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/jace-durgans-birth-story/page/3#post-1698731 Fri, 13 Jun 2014 12:32:44 +0000 MrsTiz 1698731@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>He's beautiful! Congrats :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/jace-durgans-birth-story/page/3#post-1698722 Fri, 13 Jun 2014 12:29:26 +0000 maybebaby 1698722@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>First of all, congratulations. He is beautiful.</p> <p>Second of all, I am so sorry about your birth experience. And so proud of you for putting that positive spin on it from the perspective of a care provider. I had the birth experience that I had hoped for, and even then it was traumatic. I hope you heal physically and emotionally. &lt;3 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/jace-durgans-birth-story/page/3#post-1698245 Fri, 13 Jun 2014 10:17:48 +0000 Alivoo01 1698245@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sorry you had a tramatic birth experience! *hugs*</p> <p>Your baby is gorgeous though!!! Congratulations!!! &lt;3 :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/jace-durgans-birth-story/page/3#post-1697305 Thu, 12 Jun 2014 21:47:49 +0000 keepcalmcarrie 1697305@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am so sorry you went through such a traumatic experience. The way a mother feels is incredibly important, especially when your feelings were very much aligned with the health of your baby. It was incredibly unprofessional (at best) of your OB practice to refuse the level 2 US, and you are right to feel betrayed and violated. I hope you find healing and peace in the future. ETA: your story has benefited me - I am pregnant with LO#2, big babies run in my family, I do not want a C-section if at all possible, and I am not often outspoken/an advocate for myself. But hearing your experience makes me feel more empowered to speak up, if that makes any sense. You fought like hell, and you were right in the end. Mama intuition, that kind of thing.</p> <p>And your newborn baby and family are absolutely beautiful. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/jace-durgans-birth-story/page/3#post-1697303 Thu, 12 Jun 2014 21:46:48 +0000 LovelyPlum 1697303@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@junebugmama: I am sorry it turned into anything but healing. I, for one, am still glad that you shared it. I was wondering about your birth experience and am sad to see how poorly you were treated. You're right, no one deserves to be spoken to or treated as such. I hope that writing it down still brings you healing :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/jace-durgans-birth-story/page/3#post-1697288 Thu, 12 Jun 2014 21:43:26 +0000 junebugmama 1697288@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you all of those who offered kind words. Thank you to all who complimented my beautiful little baby. :heart: </p> <p>I hope that each one of you have had or get a peaceful birth. Good luck to you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/jace-durgans-birth-story/page/3#post-1697278 Thu, 12 Jun 2014 21:40:07 +0000 junebugmama 1697278@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I DID NOT write this birth story to argue about c-section or medical malpractice. I wrote it because I thought that maybe if I got it out it would help me heal. I thought that if maybe one person benefited from my story, that it would be beneficial.</p> <p>It certainly didn't do anything for my "healing" as it turned into a ridiculous debate. Maybe someone out there will benefit, still. I will hold on to that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/jace-durgans-birth-story/page/3#post-1697256 Thu, 12 Jun 2014 21:32:52 +0000 junebugmama 1697256@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@kjn: That's exactly what I wanted. I wanted to trust my doctors. There are 7 ob's in the practice and 2 midwives. When 5 of them weighed in and the decision was split, that's when I knew that I wasn't wrong. If all 5 of them could have agreed on my care, then I wouldn't have doubted their decision. I would have felt like I was getting the best care. However, when the main OB in charge, decided that I would receive no further testing after the decision was voted on, that I thought was wildly unprofessional. They decided to "stand their ground", rather than verifying that ground was solid. What harm would it have caused to do a level 2 ultrasound? The only thing that would have happened is there would have been a more educated guess on weight. Then we could have discussed more options. I believe they just didn't want to be wrong. It was a battle of wills, rather than a true medical issue. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/jace-durgans-birth-story/page/3#post-1697105 Thu, 12 Jun 2014 20:51:47 +0000 kjn 1697105@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm sorry your birth experience was so traumatic for you. I hope you are able to move past the anger and hurt feelings with time. </p> <p>That said, I don't think @nskillet was trying to start a flame war initially. While this is one woman's birth story it is also a public forum. I think she was trying to present another point of view to those who might be reading everything that was said as fact without considering other viewpoints. </p> <p>And truthfully, I see where she is coming from. I do get annoyed when mothers adopt an Us vs Them mentality when it comes to their doctors. If you carefully chose your OBs you should trust that they have your best interests in mind. When a good physician makes a recommendation it is not because it's more convenient or because they want to argue with you. In fact it would be much more convenient to go along with everything patients want. We make recommendations because we believe they are in the best interests of our patients. If your OB believed it was not safe for you to deliver it is his/her duty to advise against it. It's BECAUSE we care that we take the time to answer all your questions and, yes, even argue with you. </p> <p>All that to say I'm sorry things turned out the way they did for you @junebugmama. But remember your physicians are people too and they are just trying to provide high quality, safe care. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/jace-durgans-birth-story/page/3#post-1696662 Thu, 12 Jun 2014 19:25:03 +0000 NavyRN2012 1696662@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry you had the L&amp;D experience you had! As if being bullied into a c-section wasn't bad enough, your pain management wasn't sufficient!<br /> On a happier note, your son is seriously gorgeous! Congrats mama! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/jace-durgans-birth-story/page/3#post-1696621 Thu, 12 Jun 2014 19:18:47 +0000 dc yoga bee 1696621@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Beautiful baby, congrats! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/jace-durgans-birth-story/page/3#post-1696361 Thu, 12 Jun 2014 18:11:44 +0000 lovehoneybee 1696361@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry you were treated so poorly, and I hope you're able to eventually find some peace. </p> <p>But congratulations, he's GORGEOUS! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/jace-durgans-birth-story/page/3#post-1696157 Thu, 12 Jun 2014 16:25:24 +0000 loveisstrange 1696157@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry, mama. :heart:</p> <p>I had a very large baby (10+lbs), but I was lucky enough to do it in a country and hospital where they were not concerned about it. I am terrified of having another child for this exact reason, now that we're back in the US. I'm so very sorry for the way you were treated. I really hope that you can find peace surrounding the birth of your beautiful son. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/jace-durgans-birth-story/page/3#post-1696138 Thu, 12 Jun 2014 16:15:49 +0000 MoonMoon 1696138@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Congratulations on your sweet baby!<br /> I am so so sorry that your birth was handled so callously by the doctors. You handled the situation with so much strength and dignity. I hope you get the healing that you deserve. Thank you for sharing your birth story, I know I have learned from it. &lt;3 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/jace-durgans-birth-story/page/2#post-1696128 Thu, 12 Jun 2014 16:09:30 +0000 googly-eyes 1696128@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@CupQuakeWalk: I loved that quote too. L&amp;d is a happy place, but it's also scary! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/jace-durgans-birth-story/page/2#post-1696124 Thu, 12 Jun 2014 16:07:51 +0000 CupQuakeWalk 1696124@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@junebugmama: Before I read your story, I jumped down to the photos and thought, "why is this lady so upset? Her baby is BEAUTIFUL and he's all that matters." But then, I read your story. I am horrified for you and your experience with the c-section anesthesia. I like your quote: "I told her to fuck off. Because a healthy baby isn't all that matters. The mother matters. The feelings, her experience, and the way she is treated matters." &lt;&lt;I believe this. And I'm sorry I initially misjudged :)<br /> Congratulations on your family of 5:) Enjoy yourselves! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/jace-durgans-birth-story/page/2#post-1696094 Thu, 12 Jun 2014 15:53:51 +0000 Sammyfab 1696094@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@wonderstruck: ok...the first 2 posts I don't think were 'shameful' and I personally would have stopped there. I still stand by the multiple scoldings being unnecessary - at least with some of the language that was used. A simple 'this is not the time nor place' would have been sufficient. </p> <p>I will say that @junebugmama responded in a very level-headed manner so kudos to her for that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/jace-durgans-birth-story/page/2#post-1696075 Thu, 12 Jun 2014 15:46:00 +0000 wonderstruck 1696075@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Sammyfab: And when OP tried to explain to her not to worry and that she supports her C-section clients, she continued to shame her and tear apart the wording of her freaking birth story. If it had been one post I would agree with @googly-eyes that enough has been said about it - but it was not one post, they continued to get worse, and it was incredibly inappropriate for her to demean the OP in the comments on her birth story, personally I'm glad people commented on it to help the OP feel supported instead of ignoring it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/jace-durgans-birth-story/page/2#post-1696031 Thu, 12 Jun 2014 15:25:44 +0000 Sammyfab 1696031@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wow. @Nskillet's comments started off as a caution to the OP's experience and how it might project into her job...I don't believe she was trying to open a discussion on the merits of c-sections in any way. The multiple scoldings and shaming are completely unnecessary considering she chose to end the discussion.</p> <p>@junebugmama: I'm really sorry you had such a negative experience and your health care providers let you down. I hope you are able to come to a resolution. Your boys are seriously beautiful! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/jace-durgans-birth-story/page/2#post-1695985 Thu, 12 Jun 2014 15:06:57 +0000 Espion 1695985@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@junebugmama: First, congratulations on your beautiful boy. That is one head of hair to be envied!!</p> <p>I can't believe they pushed back so hard on you. It doesn't sound like they took one moment to step away from the situation and think. Excuse me, but I hope they feel like sh*t in the aftermath. I am so wary of ultimatums, because everyone has had that patient who proves us wrong. We put way too much trust in technology. At least tell me that the OBs do the ultrasounds themselves and not just techs... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/jace-durgans-birth-story/page/2#post-1695983 Thu, 12 Jun 2014 15:06:18 +0000 googly-eyes 1695983@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@junebugmama: congrats on your beautiful new son. I think his name is awesome! I hope you recover in all the ways you need to so you can focus on your new family!</p> <p>Everyone else, I think there are enough nskillet scoldings, personally. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/jace-durgans-birth-story/page/2#post-1695952 Thu, 12 Jun 2014 14:44:22 +0000 Ginabean3 1695952@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Congrats on your beautiful son. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/jace-durgans-birth-story/page/2#post-1695942 Thu, 12 Jun 2014 14:40:10 +0000 lioneyes 1695942@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>congratulations on your healthy baby. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/jace-durgans-birth-story/page/2#post-1695899 Thu, 12 Jun 2014 14:19:22 +0000 wonderstruck 1695899@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Nskillet: I had a c-section and could not disagree with you more. How awful to use someone's difficult birth story as an opportunity to lecture them.</p> <p>@junebugmama: I am so sorry you had such a horrible experience with little support and just not feeling heard. No mother deserves that. I'm glad you've been blessed with an easygoing little guy, he is simply adorable. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/jace-durgans-birth-story/page/2#post-1695853 Thu, 12 Jun 2014 14:04:31 +0000 artsyfartsy 1695853@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Nskillet: She's been through a lot and is hurting and still dealing with the trauma she went through. You can have your opinions but this isn't the place to put them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/jace-durgans-birth-story/page/2#post-1695839 Thu, 12 Jun 2014 13:59:42 +0000 artsyfartsy 1695839@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>He's so gorgeous!! I'm glad things are going well now but my heart aches for you. No one should have to go through that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/jace-durgans-birth-story/page/2#post-1695836 Thu, 12 Jun 2014 13:58:46 +0000 LBee 1695836@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@junebugmama: I'm so sorry that things ended up like this. I hope you have a swift recovery and admire the fact that you are using your experience to help your doctors grow and learn. Go Mama! Jace is also adorable :heart: </p> <p>As an aside, very well said, @MrsMccarthy: </p>