https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 22 May 2026 14:08:35 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/judgement-from-another-parent#post-2289354 Sat, 12 Sep 2015 11:47:28 +0000 PurplePeony 2289354@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>From an outsider's perspective, it sounds like he was just trying to help by making sure your son was safe while you were busy with your daughter's carseat. I don't know the layout but I'd be nervous to see a toddler standing near a parking lot at drop-off/pick-up time when the parent couldn't grab them at a moment's notice if they decide to run off. Especially if I know the kid has already been upset and not listening. So I'd assume he was trying to lend a hand, not undermine you...but I wasn't there and don't know anyone involved, which can change the perspective. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/judgement-from-another-parent#post-2289336 Sat, 12 Sep 2015 10:33:24 +0000 SleepyMonkey 2289336@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>From his response, it does sound like he was trying to be helpful. I think its something like when a stranger offers to help me carry my stroller up the subway stairs when i am by myself. But i can see why you are upset! Sorry. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/judgement-from-another-parent#post-2289271 Sat, 12 Sep 2015 08:00:15 +0000 Foodnerd81 2289271@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lamariniere: I've been that person before- I always want a way to tell the parent that I'm not bothered, without undermining their parenting. Usually I hope an understanding smile to them when the kid isn't looking suffices... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/judgement-from-another-parent#post-2289269 Sat, 12 Sep 2015 07:48:35 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2289269@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have been that dad before. If I see a parent or a small child that looks like they need a little help I jump right in without of course knowing all that transpired and exactly why the parent needs help.</p> <p>Even if your son was right next to you wouldn't he have still gotten rained on? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/judgement-from-another-parent#post-2289267 Sat, 12 Sep 2015 07:45:54 +0000 BandDmommy 2289267@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it's because you know the family. My guess is he was just trying to be nice. Sorry you are upset. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/judgement-from-another-parent#post-2289263 Sat, 12 Sep 2015 07:37:01 +0000 Andrea 2289263@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>He probably couldn't hear the exchange between you and your son, but he backed you up once you told him because he said "listen to your mom". I can see how you would be annoyed, but I do think he was just trying to help! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/judgement-from-another-parent#post-2289226 Sat, 12 Sep 2015 04:21:18 +0000 gracecat 2289226@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it must be because you know the parents and family. As an outsider it just seems like he felt sorry for your child but I would totally understand how you felt too if I knew this family. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/judgement-from-another-parent#post-2289212 Sat, 12 Sep 2015 01:10:32 +0000 lamariniere 2289212@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had something somewhat similar happen recently. I kept telling my son to stop doing something as I didn't appreciate the bahviour and I didn't want him bothering the woman next to us. After I said stop a few times, the woman said "it's ok, he's fine". I retorted that it was not fine as I had asked him to stop several times and he wasn't obeying me. It didn't matter that the woman wasn't bothered by it, it mattered that he wasn't obeying. So I get that you are annoyed by the dad's actions. He was probably just trying to be helpful though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/judgement-from-another-parent#post-2289159 Fri, 11 Sep 2015 21:35:53 +0000 simplyfelicity 2289159@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Is it possible he was just trying to help? Maybe I am missing something. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/judgement-from-another-parent#post-2289149 Fri, 11 Sep 2015 21:14:45 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2289149@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had something similar happen where someone decided I was being a mean mommy. Ugh. It was because I scolded lo for putting her open mouth on a public bathroom counter. She's about to turn 3 and knows not to touch things in public bathrooms.. it's not like she's a little baby that mouths everything. This lady came over and I can't remember exactly what she said but she was basically telling lo she was a good girl as though she needed praise or positive reinforcement. The vast majority of the time lo and I don't interact that way but I just do not want her doing that period!! I was annoyed. Sorry that happened to you. I think sometimes people are uncomfortable seeing kids uncomfortable and rush in to rescue them when they don't need it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/judgement-from-another-parent#post-2289130 Fri, 11 Sep 2015 20:40:41 +0000 MamaChin 2289130@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: his family was walking behind us on the way. They actually had to pass us because LO was stopping to play so often. I'm sure he thought he was helping, either my son or helping me see that he didn't think what I did was right. I don't mean to harp, it just REALLY bothered me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/judgement-from-another-parent#post-2289117 Fri, 11 Sep 2015 20:21:19 +0000 Foodnerd81 2289117@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ugh. There have been lots of times I wouldn't want someone watching my parenting and I only have one so far. If I saw that exchange, I probably would have laughed a tiny bit just knowing exactly what was going on. Definitely wouldn't have judged. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/judgement-from-another-parent#post-2289116 Fri, 11 Sep 2015 20:21:11 +0000 Anagram 2289116@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Almost every parent at my daycare that has two kids has older one stand on the sidewalk in front of the car while they strap the younger one in, that way the older one isn't standing between cars pulling in and out, or tempted to run out into parking lot.</p> <p>If your daycare is similar, I imagine the dad was in his car, couldn't hear your conversation with your child, and got out to hold the umbrella thinking your son was just cring from getting went and the dad was helping you by holding the umbrella. So when you came up to him talking about your child misbehaving, he probably had no clue and just mumbled whatever popped into his head. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/judgement-from-another-parent#post-2289115 Fri, 11 Sep 2015 20:20:35 +0000 mrsrugbee 2289115@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think you're totally entitled to be upset about that interaction. He undermined your parenting and I personally think you were in the right letting him stand in the rain. I'd have done the same thing if I could trust my daughter not to bolt. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/judgement-from-another-parent#post-2289110 Fri, 11 Sep 2015 20:11:57 +0000 MamaChin 2289110@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So this happened yesterday at daycare pickup and I still can't stop thinking about it. It was raining and I was walking to the car holding my 1.5 year old and an umbrella with my almost 3 year old walking next to me. The whole walk he wanted to splash, didn't want to hold my hand and was generally being a PITA. I offered multiple options - hold my hand, I'll keep my hand on his shoulder or backpack, he can keep a hand on my leg - he wouldn't have any of it and kept trying to play. About 6 feet from my car, right in front of the car next to me I said to him you either walk next to me or you can stand here and cry while I put your sister in the car. He opted to stand and cry so I went to my car to just put my daughter in her carseat (didn't even buckle her in, took 4 seconds tops). While I did that, the dad in the car next to me got out with his umbrella and stood next to my son, shielding him from the rain. That means he had been watching the exchange (I did not raise my voice even once, but I did speak sternly to him) and decided that what I did was inappropriate and took it upon himself to do something about it?! It made me furious. It wasn't raining that hard and I had him in my sight the entire time. I was cordial when I went back, telling him thank you but there was no need. It's just a little rain and my son needs to learn to follow my instructions to be safe. He mumbled "listen to your mom" and went back into his car. Maybe I'm mad because I'm embarrassed, or maybe I know his children and think they're spoiled, either way every time I remember this I get a raging hot fire in my chest. I know I should just brush it off but UGHHHHHHHHH. </p>