https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 13 Jul 2026 09:07:11 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/just-a-mom#post-2692341 Mon, 06 Feb 2017 13:08:26 +0000 bubblegum 2692341@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hey ladies!! I am so sorry to be responding so late. I am so thankful to have the support and different opinions of everyone. @808love: Great idea on showing her how compelling it truly can be. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/just-a-mom#post-2692041 Sun, 05 Feb 2017 17:28:27 +0000 Coral 2692041@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@808love: I'm with you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/just-a-mom#post-2692040 Sun, 05 Feb 2017 17:28:01 +0000 Coral 2692040@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Sketchbook: Although our educational background nearly mirrors each other's, I respectfully disagree. I'm not saying that there is no place for constructive criticism in a creatve writing class (of course there is, that's a fundamental aspect of workshop,) but there wasn't anything constructive about "not worthy of my time." If the instructor thought the language was overworked, the plot trite/tired, or the characters felt flat then say that. The feedback that OP was provided with left her with nothing specific to improve to better her craft. An instructor should be able to let go of their own biases as a reader and offer constructive criticsm that transcends genre. Otherwise, she is essentially gooming her students to be the same writer. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/just-a-mom#post-2691769 Sat, 04 Feb 2017 16:16:03 +0000 808love 2691769@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think there is definitely a difference between formative feedback and judging someone's efforts as a waste of time. If the teacher has no constructive, effective, specific feedback then there is nothing to learn from there except that he/she didn't like it. A (creative writing) teacher is supposed to teach/develop/model/inspire...not judge, discourage and/or reject budding authors. I liked my creative writing college class and it stretched me. Mostly the professor hung back and let us critique (not criticize) each other. I would expect the same productive feedback, if not better, from a teacher. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/just-a-mom#post-2691749 Sat, 04 Feb 2017 14:18:14 +0000 Mrs. Sketchbook 2691749@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Coral: I have a BA in English, an MA in English, and an MAT in English education. I remember one time in a creative writing class my teacher being like "look, literally nothing happens in this story. This is just not dynamic at all." I got a little defensive, but I think my defensiveness was unfounded. I think it is hard to wrap our minds around assessing something as objective as art, but truly we can see the difference between great art and mediocre art so I do believe it is possible. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/just-a-mom#post-2691746 Sat, 04 Feb 2017 14:13:49 +0000 Mrs. Sketchbook 2691746@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bubblegum: have you ever heard the phrase "happiness writes white?". I think that's maybe what she meant? I mean, I haven't read the work but I have taken creative writing classes and I can see how an instructor might try to force you to write something with more struggle, more challenging characters than a mother/daughter piece. I'm saying this as someone who is a SAHM who also completed a degree with a writing focus last year. I definitely bring my parenting to my academic life but I try to understand that it isn't nearly as important to anyone else in the room as it is to me. It is very difficult to find a new thing to say about motherhood. The market for that sort of writing is saturated. Is it possible that your teacher truly thinks of you as someone who wants to pursue writing professionally and therefore feels obligated to tell you that this sort of market is not there? If you are simply taking the course for enjoyment and pick up some credit hours maybe you can tell her that so she knows what sort of feedback to offer you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/just-a-mom#post-2691708 Sat, 04 Feb 2017 11:18:15 +0000 peaches1038 2691708@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That is horrible. DH is a professor at a very prominent art school and was appalled when I told him about this thread. He said that is a lazy way for her to dismiss your work and that she sounds like an elitist. He told me about a student he had who was a mother and chose to make her work about that. She was nervous about her choice, thinking it wasn't good enough. He told her to reframe her thinking - its not about "being a mom", it's about the every day, the power of a woman in whatever role they choose. He said that her work improved after that conversation because she was more focused, objective and excited. He said to be confident in your choice and not pay her any mind. You do you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/just-a-mom#post-2691701 Sat, 04 Feb 2017 10:45:19 +0000 808love 2691701@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Just a thought, would you want to write about your stance of a mom being a rockstar?! Or somehow work your passionate view into a future paper to enlighten your teacher?! Perhaps that would be more compelling! :heart: :shocked: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/just-a-mom#post-2691652 Sat, 04 Feb 2017 04:28:14 +0000 Kimberlybee 2691652@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@808love: Yes that word "JUST" needs to be removed from all job descriptions and replaced with exceptional or fabulous! Being a mom both working and SAHM is such a huge task. Moms never ever get sick days and we shoulder a lot of the burden in the home. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/just-a-mom#post-2691640 Fri, 03 Feb 2017 23:01:45 +0000 808love 2691640@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I once heard someone (in power) talk about how 'all jobs are equally important even if you are JUST a toilet cleaner'. Though they meant well, that word -JUST- just rubs me wrong.<br /> Your teacher's comment about not being worth her time was totally inappropriate.I had an art teacher in college who said something about it being a waste of time to look at the class' homework, spread it on the table and gave it all back to us to redo. She was criticizing the whole class as an 'example' of what NOT to do. Terrible teaching strategy. Don't elevate your teacher to a status who doesn't deserve it. Someone who has poor judgement like that shrinks to a grain of salt in my opinion. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/just-a-mom#post-2691489 Fri, 03 Feb 2017 15:11:27 +0000 bubblegum 2691489@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Coral: AMEN!!! Honestly for me, I feel most accomplish in being a mother. </p> <p>That's exactly my point. I can totally understand if the grammar was bad or what have you but you can judge art. I was truly discouraged. I actually cried writing that story because it was so near and dear to my heart and the way she shot it down wasn't cool. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/just-a-mom#post-2691477 Fri, 03 Feb 2017 14:51:19 +0000 Coral 2691477@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bubblegum: I would honestly not be concerned about about being "just a mom." How can you use the word "just" to describe one of the most significant roles you will ever play in your life?<br /> I am much more concerned about this writing class. My undergrad degree was in fiction writing and I was never once told WHAT to write or not write about. I was given criticism for technique, diction, etc but never the subject matter...because it's ART! In one class, we would have romance, sci-fi, suspense, drama...and everything in between! I am honestly astounded by this. Your teacher sounds like neither a professional nor a very good teacher. I would honestly sit down with her and inquire as to why you are not being supported to write what moves you (in terms of subject matter.) I would explain that I felt pressure to write what she wanted to read rather than what I was inspired to write.<br /> I disagree that your teacher was trying to help you become a better writer. Helping you develop your craft has very little to do with criticizing your subject matter. The more I think about this...the more pissed I am. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/just-a-mom#post-2691363 Fri, 03 Feb 2017 12:39:56 +0000 mrsbubbletea 2691363@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@FaithFertility: I love what you said, its beautiful :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/just-a-mom#post-2691358 Fri, 03 Feb 2017 12:36:19 +0000 bubblegum 2691358@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@yoursilverlining: Very rude!</p> <p>Oh no no I was just giving an example that pissed me off and felt judge-y. </p> <p>Absolutely not! You're right. We all so much more :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/just-a-mom#post-2691357 Fri, 03 Feb 2017 12:35:11 +0000 bubblegum 2691357@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mama Bird: Hahahah I legit laughed out loud when I read your first sentence!! I don't think some teacher's realize their comments can truly discourage their students. I am so sorry you had a teacher like that in high school. It's royalty messed up especially at that age. </p> <p>Exactly. Everyone is soooo much more than just their title. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/just-a-mom#post-2691347 Fri, 03 Feb 2017 12:25:15 +0000 yoursilverlining 2691347@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think the teacher's comment that your piece "wasn't worth her time" is incredibly inappropriate. Incredibly! Rude as hell too.</p> <p>That said, I don't see those comments necessarily reducing you to "just a mom". You sound like you have a lot going on, so are obviously not "just a mom" (and is anyone, really?!) :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/just-a-mom#post-2691343 Fri, 03 Feb 2017 12:17:39 +0000 Mama Bird 2691343@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bubblegum: your teacher is just dumb. For lack of a more polite word. You're writing in your voice, not hers, and something that doesn't interest her personally doesn't have any less value for it.</p> <p>I had a teacher like that in high school, and one offhand comment like that destroyed my confidence that I have anything to say with my writing for years. Took a long time to work out that it was just her personal obsession with a certain writing style (which is overrated IMO but I'd never bash anyone for writing like that if they could still tell a good yarn).</p> <p>And "just a mom"? Come on! There's no such thing as just a mom, just a teacher, just a caregiver. Caring is the foundation of what it means to be human, and we're long overdue to get more respect for it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/just-a-mom#post-2691282 Fri, 03 Feb 2017 11:00:09 +0000 bubblegum 2691282@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@honeybear: I was extremely taken back by this as well. This is a fiction writing class and this specific assignment only need to contain one of the several music pieces she gave us. It could be included in the story in any way we chose. No other guidelines than that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/just-a-mom#post-2691280 Fri, 03 Feb 2017 10:54:37 +0000 bubblegum 2691280@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: She made it clear it wasn't her taste. I can take the comments that a piece is not well written but just because it's not your taste doesn't mean you bash it. She's an author and I personally would not read her work only because it is not my preferred genre of writing. However, if I needed to read it I would comment on her style of writing not her choice of topic. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/just-a-mom#post-2691276 Fri, 03 Feb 2017 10:51:56 +0000 honeybear 2691276@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It is fairly shocking to me that a teacher told a student that something they've worked hard on is not worthy of her time. (Unless maybe it wasn't even close to the parameters of the assignment or clearly not a good effort and she expressed her disappointment poorly...but this woman is a writing teacher, so perhaps she should be held to a slightly higher than average standard about her choice of words.) In any event, that's not constructive criticism designed to help the student improve. </p> <p>Is this a creative writing class? Were there parameters about what kinds of stories you could write that excluded "tender, domestic" stuff? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/just-a-mom#post-2691261 Fri, 03 Feb 2017 10:34:36 +0000 looch 2691261@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wouldn't take the teacher's comments personally, she's paid to help you develop your writing. If you were a good writer, you wouldn't need her advice, correct? I don't think she's making any kinds of comments on your life. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/just-a-mom#post-2691254 Fri, 03 Feb 2017 10:28:46 +0000 bubblegum 2691254@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@FaithFertility: AGREED!! </p> <p>You couldn't have said it any better. I'm not saying praise but just don't make us feel less than because we're moms. That's not cool. We hold a very important and special job and take pride in it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/just-a-mom#post-2691242 Fri, 03 Feb 2017 10:09:03 +0000 FaithFertility 2691242@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It truly saddens me when people say that!<br /> A "Mom" in its self is a physical/emotional "job" 24/7 no matter if you SAH or WOH! </p> <p>Being a Mom to me is living for my children and in that comes being<br /> a wife: showing them how to love<br /> Being a mentor: showing them the beauty in the world<br /> Their teacher<br /> Their potential<br /> Their worth<br /> Their soul...<br /> Everything!<br /> Some Moms enjoy being home 24/7 and soaking in every minute<br /> Others WOH be it for their sanity, paycheck or it being important to them!</p> <p>Being A mom begins with your self!<br /> And being a MOM is More than anyone could ever imagine!!!!!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/just-a-mom#post-2691236 Fri, 03 Feb 2017 09:57:45 +0000 bubblegum 2691236@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Lately I've been feeling down and getting a lot of comments that refer to me "just being a mom". </p> <p>Perfect example: I'm still in school, finishing up my degree, and decided to take a writing class just to fill in space. I really enjoy painting and wanted to pick up another area of "arts". Long story short, I wrote a story about a mother and daughter and was it was not "compelling" and not a piece "worthy of her time". However, my other piece that had nothing to do with children was high drama and did not carry the "tender, domestic" tone of my other story. And was told to NOT write "tender, domestic" stories. "DOMESTIC" really bothers me. </p> <p>Maybe my pregnancy hormones are getting the best of me but I feel like I am a lot more than just a mom. I work full time, go to school, am a wife and mom. </p> <p>AND if I was a stay-at-home-mom, that's EVEN more work at times!! I really just wanted to write this post to say ALL of us are not just moms, we're fucking rockstars!</p> <p>That is all :silly: </p>