https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 03 Jul 2026 14:21:04 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/just-another-vent-about-maternity-leave#post-351454 Sat, 20 Oct 2012 08:26:14 +0000 marionberry 351454@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@jojogirl: I found out that my state's FMLA is better than the federal FMLA and allows you to get leave after you've worked there for 6 months, so I'm much more confident about switching jobs now. Yay! We will just have to save money to afford not getting paid short term disability while I'm pregnant if I happen to get pregnant before I switch. I hope you are able to figure out a situation that works for you. Once you're willing to tell, I bet your boss may be more open to letting you be gone awhile than you think. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/just-another-vent-about-maternity-leave#post-351043 Fri, 19 Oct 2012 19:07:00 +0000 JoJoGirl 351043@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@regberadaisy: Nope, just a week.</p> <p>@Revel: That's what I spent all day looking for - some loophole I could point to to say it's legal for me to take more than 12 weeks, but the only thing I found was for military leave. Even "unpaid personal leave" for any reason says a maximum of 12 weeks.</p> <p>@scg00387: Thank you!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/just-another-vent-about-maternity-leave#post-350947 Fri, 19 Oct 2012 17:46:25 +0000 immabeetoo 350947@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Most moms I know that went back, went back at 6 weeks. I'd definitely save at least 1 week of FMLA time in case of something unexpected! I have no other helpful thoughts - but I hope it works out for the best for all 3 of you and your employer is flexible! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/just-another-vent-about-maternity-leave#post-350865 Fri, 19 Oct 2012 16:30:26 +0000 Revel 350865@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Jojogirl, ugh! I am wrestling with similar issues right now and just posted a similar question for my situation! We're on the same wavelength again. I think it is certainly worth asking about more than 12 weeks leave - the worst thing that happens is your employer says no. Can you find any paperwork that might have had that discretionary language on it, even if it's not in your HR manual? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/just-another-vent-about-maternity-leave#post-350709 Fri, 19 Oct 2012 14:50:50 +0000 regberadaisy 350709@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Do you have any vacation time saved up you can use to add on to it?</p> <p>I was back at work FT at 7 weeks so you're better off than I was! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/just-another-vent-about-maternity-leave#post-350544 Fri, 19 Oct 2012 13:34:38 +0000 Mrsbells 350544@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JoJoGirl: I went back to work full time at 12 weeks.It sucks but its doable and I actually felt fortunate since I know people who had to go back at 6 weeks or 8 weeks. it saddens me that while all these elections are going on and all the big issues are being mentioned like health care, immigration, abortion, there is nothing being said about maternity leave. Its like a non-issue </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/just-another-vent-about-maternity-leave#post-350515 Fri, 19 Oct 2012 13:23:14 +0000 JoJoGirl 350515@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Smurfette: @Lozza: Thanks to you both :) And nope, he's right now in the negative for vacation/sick time, so i don't know that he'll even be able to accrue 2 weeks by the time LO is here and that's the minimum he wants to be home right when he/she is born. </p> <p>@yoursilverlining: This is why it's always handy to have you around ;) I'll definitely look into that. I doubt his employer has already complied (he found out about the FMLA thing because of a coworker whose wife had a baby last week and was fighting with them to take a week off), but that is good to know! Thanks! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/just-another-vent-about-maternity-leave#post-350488 Fri, 19 Oct 2012 13:04:56 +0000 Smurfette 350488@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Lozza: I had a friend that was more then ready to go back at 8 weeks. She always thought that she would want to be a SAHM, but financially they couldn't do it. She now says that regardless of finances she will always work. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/just-another-vent-about-maternity-leave#post-350464 Fri, 19 Oct 2012 12:52:02 +0000 Lozza 350464@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I actually went back at 9 weeks, and was really glad that I did.<br /> For one reason, I think it was easier for me to leave LO then than it would have been two months later. We had family around and DH took time off, and LO didn't start daycare till 12 weeks, but at 9 weeks, LO just wasn't fun yet. He wasn't smiling, he wasn't laughing, we couldn't really play... I just didn't feel like I was missing out on a good time. My supervisor took off 6 months with her second kid, and I actually think that sounds harder, in a sad-to-leave-the-baby sense.<br /> Also, at 9 weeks LO was still SO needy, that it was kind of a revelation to have my autonomy back. Even things like being able to go to the bathroom, or eat, or walk around, or check my email, WHENEVER I WANTED, felt so incredibly freeing.<br /> I know that I'm probably in a minority (and generally I love time off work however I can get it), but I really did find that returning to work earlier had some unexpected perks :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/just-another-vent-about-maternity-leave#post-350460 Fri, 19 Oct 2012 12:48:46 +0000 Smurfette 350460@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I like the idea of your husband taking some time off. Does he has vacation sick time he can use after you go back? Instead of using more when the baby is first home? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/just-another-vent-about-maternity-leave#post-350453 Fri, 19 Oct 2012 12:45:25 +0000 anewme 350453@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: hi mrbee no they didn't purposely keep me 2 hours short. If you work a 24hr work week like i do, in 52 weeks it's only 1248 hours. I didn't realize that requirement until I was about to go out or else I would have picked up an extra shift to put me over, but by the time I was ready to go out I really couldnt fathom doing an extra shift anymore. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/just-another-vent-about-maternity-leave#post-350446 Fri, 19 Oct 2012 12:42:49 +0000 yoursilverlining 350446@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Re: your husband. MA has a state FMLA-like program; MMLA, which is available to employees of companies with more than 6 employees and which offers 8 weeks unpaid time after the birth/adoption of a child. Right now, the current maternity(paternity) leave policy in MA is written so that maternity leave is only available to females, but the MA Commission against Discrimination and the EEOC have determined that that is a form of sex discrimination and has advised all employers to update their HR policies to allow men to take that MMLA maternity leave, as well as women. Your husband should check with his employer and see whether or not they plan to comply with this interpretation of the leave-law or whether they are going to wait for an official ruling. (Hopefully they will accommodate him!!) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/just-another-vent-about-maternity-leave#post-350425 Fri, 19 Oct 2012 12:31:20 +0000 GrapeCrush 350425@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i feel ya! i also hate that FMLA runs concurrent with disability, which doesn't seem fair to me...but who am i? is there a way to take a personal leave? a woman at my work wasn't eligible for FMLA by the time she had her LO, but she was out for 12 weeks, i'm pretty sure she took the last 4 weeks as a personal leave. doesn't hurt to ask. good luck with everything! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/just-another-vent-about-maternity-leave#post-350415 Fri, 19 Oct 2012 12:27:37 +0000 JoJoGirl 350415@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@marionberry: Yep, I had 4 months of sick time saved up at my old job :( </p> <p>@Smurfette: yeah true. It'll be tough financially anyway, but i guess 12 is better than less.</p> <p>@blackbird: My PTO policy sucks really hardcore so I'll only have 1 week of sick/vacation time accrued by the time i"m due. :( Also DH is actually NOT eligible for FMLA. He works for a company of 50 people or less so it doesn't apply. He is super pissed. His plan is to try and negotiate for 2 weeks of unpaid personal leave, but they don't have to give him anything.</p> <p>@mamabolt: True! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/just-another-vent-about-maternity-leave#post-350408 Fri, 19 Oct 2012 12:23:20 +0000 mamabolt 350408@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Going back at 12 weeks is hard, but like many others, I just told myself how lucky I was to have even that. We had the luxury of me being able to take some time unpaid, but if we hasn't I would have been back much sooner. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/just-another-vent-about-maternity-leave#post-350402 Fri, 19 Oct 2012 12:20:07 +0000 blackbird 350402@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Could you take FMLA for the 12 weeks and then a few more weeks of sick/vacay to get up to the 16 weeks? You know your DH is also eligible for FMLA...you could take 2 months and he could take 2 months, and then your baby would be home for 16 weeks? </p> <p>The other side of the coin is that you might actually MISS work and be ready to go back at 3 months! I know many, many moms who did (IRL) and were ready to get back to a daily grind after 3 months or less. That they didn't feel like themselves until they had a routine of work in there. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/just-another-vent-about-maternity-leave#post-350398 Fri, 19 Oct 2012 12:18:33 +0000 Smurfette 350398@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am sorry!! At least you get 12 weeks. I had several friends that had to go back at 6 or 8 weeks. I am taking 6 weeks paid and then 6 unpaid. The leave in the US is total crap. It is going to be hard to take a 12 week old to day care. I am just thankful we can afford, for me to not get paid for the extra 6 weeks, so I can take the 12 weeks. Try and see that silver lining. I know that it is disappointing though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/just-another-vent-about-maternity-leave#post-350385 Fri, 19 Oct 2012 12:13:25 +0000 marionberry 350385@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@jojogirl: Similar to your situation, I'm in the middle of interviewing for a new job. I could really use it. The health system I work for is just a mess and this new job would double my salary. But if FMLA doesn't work if you haven't been there a year, I risk a) not having been there a year before a baby comes, and b) my new employer getting rid of me at my 90 day review once he knows I'm pregnant. I know that I'll really rock at this new job, but it's definitely a risk, taking it. At my current job I have tons of PTO, disability coverage, FMLA, etc. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/just-another-vent-about-maternity-leave#post-350292 Fri, 19 Oct 2012 11:42:52 +0000 JoJoGirl 350292@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@anewme: I will be, LO isn't due until the end of May 2013. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/just-another-vent-about-maternity-leave#post-350261 Fri, 19 Oct 2012 11:35:21 +0000 mrbee 350261@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@anewme: Did they purposefully keep you those two hours short? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/just-another-vent-about-maternity-leave#post-350259 Fri, 19 Oct 2012 11:34:33 +0000 anewme 350259@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Fmla only kicks in if you have worked there for at least 1 year and have accrued more than 1250 working hours. I was pt and was 2 hours short of Fmla protection. So find out if you are even eligible for it </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/just-another-vent-about-maternity-leave#post-350211 Fri, 19 Oct 2012 11:18:16 +0000 JoJoGirl 350211@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks guys. Unfortunately the sick/vacation policy is also total crap, so I'm only going to have a week of combined paid leave when LO is due. I was under the impression my paid leave was part of FMLA (ie my week of vacation time counts as week 1 of FMLA) but if I could take them 'back to back', that would help a little. I also don't anticipate I'll be working up until the day I go into labor, so every day will help. *sigh* </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/just-another-vent-about-maternity-leave#post-350202 Fri, 19 Oct 2012 11:11:50 +0000 Mrs. Blue 350202@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have to go back at 8 weeks, I think. :( I feel your pain. I think my mom is going to come keep the LOs for a few weeks so that they will be at least 12 weeks by the time they have to go to daycare. </p> <p>As to what @LivsMama: said, just an FYI, a lot of companies make you use your sick/vacation leave consecutively with FMLA, so definitely check how you company handles that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/just-another-vent-about-maternity-leave#post-350198 Fri, 19 Oct 2012 11:09:53 +0000 April_Showers 350198@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would be careful about planning on taking all 12 of your FMLA leave weeks without talking to HR about it first. When I was talking to our HR for clarification, they told me you only can take 12 weeks all year. So if something happened and you were already out of FMLA then you could be SOL. We can use our PTO before claiming FMLA, but it was advised that I not take all of my FMLA/PTO and save some left over just in case. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/just-another-vent-about-maternity-leave#post-350187 Fri, 19 Oct 2012 11:07:10 +0000 Adira 350187@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sorry to hear that your leave might not be as long as you had hoped! Maybe you could talk to your supervisor and just ask him/her about it and see if it's possible to take more than 12 weeks. You might be surprised!</p> <p>And if it makes you feel any better, I will be going back full-time after 12 weeks, so my kid will be in daycare 50 hours/week as well. So at least they'll be in the same boat. :P </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/just-another-vent-about-maternity-leave#post-350180 Fri, 19 Oct 2012 11:05:44 +0000 LivsMama 350180@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>our leave policies are crap in this country. Could you maybe take your vacation and sick time right at the back of your 12 weeks? That way it could be 12 weeks + 2-4 of vacation and sick/personal time depending on what you get.</p> <p>I went back to work at 12 weeks. It was hard, but I think going back at ANY time would have been hard on me. I know of lots of women who only got 6 weeks or could only afford to take 6, so to have 12 is a blessing. Like I said, its difficult, but it does get easier. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/just-another-vent-about-maternity-leave#post-350167 Fri, 19 Oct 2012 11:01:25 +0000 JoJoGirl 350167@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I started a new job at the beginning of the year, having left somewhere that offered 6 months of (unpaid) maternity leave. That was my biggest reason to stay at my old job, but I knew it was really past time to move on. We weren't even TTC when I took this job but knew we would be soon.</p> <p>I could have *sworn* when I started that I saw in the policies leave is 12 weeks unpaid guaranteed by FMLA + more at the discretion of your supervisor. I really hoped to take 16 weeks as I'll be going back full-time and 12 weeks seems so teeny to be in 50 hrs/week of daycare. </p> <p>I just reviewed the company policies and I can't find that 'discretion' thing ANYWHERE! I'm pretty sure the absolute cap is at 12 weeks and I'm feeling so sad and discouraged today :( Doesn't help I didn't sleep at all and my eating is all wonky. I know lots of moms go back FT at 12 weeks so any words of encouragement would be welcome here :( </p>