https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 13 Apr 2026 17:14:19 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/just-found-out-im-donor-conceived-amp-have-6-half-siblings#post-2896689 Thu, 12 Sep 2019 06:42:34 +0000 LadyDi 2896689@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@DesertDreams88: Gotcha, well while I am sure this is challenging for them too I hope they are supportive while you are out there for your visit. I hope everything goes well! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/just-found-out-im-donor-conceived-amp-have-6-half-siblings#post-2896598 Wed, 11 Sep 2019 11:56:28 +0000 hellobeeboston 2896598@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@DesertDreams88: WOW. I didn't see this post originally - but how incredible. I can't believe you found out via 23 &amp; Me.</p> <p>very exciting that you're all meeting up. I hope it goes really well! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/just-found-out-im-donor-conceived-amp-have-6-half-siblings#post-2896587 Wed, 11 Sep 2019 10:34:30 +0000 DesertDreams88 2896587@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LadyDi: they *say* they are, but my mom hasn't replied to my 2-3 texts about the logistics, etc. I was originally supposed to visit just my parents for 4 days, but changed my flights so I could get 3 more days to see donor "family." I'm doing a dinner in NYC with one, a lunch in CT with another, staying overnight in Boston with one, and then doing a larger meet-up in Boston with a variety of people. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/just-found-out-im-donor-conceived-amp-have-6-half-siblings#post-2896569 Wed, 11 Sep 2019 08:32:44 +0000 LadyDi 2896569@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@DesertDreams88: that’s so exciting! Congrats! Let us know how it goes! How’s everything with your parents? Are they supportive of the meet up? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/just-found-out-im-donor-conceived-amp-have-6-half-siblings#post-2896565 Wed, 11 Sep 2019 08:20:43 +0000 graceandjoy 2896565@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@DesertDreams88: Ahh how exciting! I'm really glad everyone's open and want to meet up! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/just-found-out-im-donor-conceived-amp-have-6-half-siblings#post-2896539 Tue, 10 Sep 2019 20:55:54 +0000 DesertDreams88 2896539@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Just updating to say I am meeting 3+ "sisters", their families, and my donor in a month and I am so excited. Mainly I want to satisfy my curiosity and see if we have uncanny similarities etc. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/just-found-out-im-donor-conceived-amp-have-6-half-siblings#post-2885450 Thu, 23 May 2019 22:43:16 +0000 QBbride 2885450@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This just happened to a friend of mine! She had no idea she was donor conceived and because of 23andme, she has found out she has something like 16+ half siblings, and they’re expecting many more to be out there. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/just-found-out-im-donor-conceived-amp-have-6-half-siblings#post-2885445 Thu, 23 May 2019 20:22:11 +0000 mrsrain 2885445@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@DesertDreams88: hugs. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/just-found-out-im-donor-conceived-amp-have-6-half-siblings#post-2885442 Thu, 23 May 2019 18:02:18 +0000 SugarplumsMom 2885442@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>There's a group on FB with similar stories. In case you're interested: <a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/DNADetectives/" rel="nofollow">https://www.facebook.com/groups/DNADetectives/</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/just-found-out-im-donor-conceived-amp-have-6-half-siblings#post-2885436 Thu, 23 May 2019 14:05:18 +0000 graceandjoy 2885436@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@DesertDreams88: I am on LI, if you ever need help with anything! Tho I know LI is so long, we could be on polar opposite ends! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/just-found-out-im-donor-conceived-amp-have-6-half-siblings#post-2885434 Thu, 23 May 2019 13:45:27 +0000 DesertDreams88 2885434@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@agold: I haven't. I think maybe I'll write a short letter / email / message for Father's Day, just like... a thank you for helping me exist? a short introduction? a request for medical history? </p> <p>I've been in contact with 3 of the 4 "sisters" - 1 raised by the donor and 2 others also donor-conceived. Two of the sisters have been pretty open to convo &amp; questions. There's a half-brother and I hear he thinks it's cool so he's open to convo too, just haven't gone there yet. </p> <p>I visit CT in October and now I'm thinking maybe I'll consider meeting them? I know some of them have met in person. I only go to CT once a year max, so October is my only chance for awhile. Almost all of them live in Boston and one lives in Long Island. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/just-found-out-im-donor-conceived-amp-have-6-half-siblings#post-2885416 Thu, 23 May 2019 12:07:05 +0000 agold 2885416@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@DesertDreams88: This is crazy and exciting! And your dad.... ahhhh.. he needs a hug for sure. Have you had contact with the sperm donor? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/just-found-out-im-donor-conceived-amp-have-6-half-siblings#post-2885398 Thu, 23 May 2019 09:30:36 +0000 lioneyes 2885398@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>ALso highly reco reading Inheritance and also her podcast, Family Secrets. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/just-found-out-im-donor-conceived-amp-have-6-half-siblings#post-2885366 Wed, 22 May 2019 17:28:28 +0000 DesertDreams88 2885366@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JJ2626: No, Everyone else found out in December. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/just-found-out-im-donor-conceived-amp-have-6-half-siblings#post-2885360 Wed, 22 May 2019 16:40:28 +0000 JJ2626 2885360@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wow! I’m sure you’re shocked! Hopefully it just takes your parents a little time to get comfortable discussing it. But obviously there is a lot to process on all ends. I do hope you find meaning with these new half siblings! Did they know they were donor conceived? </p> <p>There is a new tv show about this coming out with Brittany Snow. It’s about a fertility doc who used his own sperm but I think also focuses on new the new sibling relationships. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/just-found-out-im-donor-conceived-amp-have-6-half-siblings#post-2885348 Wed, 22 May 2019 15:15:13 +0000 muffinsmuffins 2885348@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wow! That is super shocking news to take in. I think it’s awesome how you are framing it positively and you can connect with half siblings. </p> <p>After all is settled, just FYI if you or your family members are struggling, there are psychologists who are specially trained in issues related to donor conception, adoption, etc. That could help process and make sense of it all if needed (which maybe not!) Both my sons are donor sperm conceived and we had to speak to the psychologist at the fertility clinic before undergoing treatment. Huge emphasis nowadays on being open with donor conceived children, which I don’t think was the case decades ago. From my perspective as the non-bio mom, I was always fearful that I wouldn’t connect with my children without a genetic link. For me, that couldn’t be more opposite. I know how much it took for us to have our kids, how wanted they were. I’m sure that’s true of your parents as well. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/just-found-out-im-donor-conceived-amp-have-6-half-siblings#post-2885340 Wed, 22 May 2019 14:41:52 +0000 Mrs. Pajamas 2885340@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@DesertDreams88: Was going to recommend the same book as @foodiebee. I heard about it on an episode of The Longest Shortest Time podcast (episode 191). Such a fascinating story if you have limited time (obviously--you're a mom!). Keep us posted. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/just-found-out-im-donor-conceived-amp-have-6-half-siblings#post-2885333 Wed, 22 May 2019 14:20:26 +0000 DesertDreams88 2885333@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@crazydoglady: yep. I left a message with the fertility center, hoping to find out how many successful pregnancies were conceived but my older bio sister said she tried with no luck. I'm hoping maybe better recording keeping in 1987/1990 vs. 1984. I have the impression that he donated a bunch because at some point they told him he couldn't donate anymore.</p> <p>@foodiebee: thanks for the tip! I reserved the book via our library and I hope I can get it before our roadtrip this weekend. </p> <p>@Ajsmommy: that would be way worse to handle mentally, I imagine. Right now I'm just reminding myself that sperm is such a (literally) tiny part of the whole process. Glad to hear the guy is having some good come out of it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/just-found-out-im-donor-conceived-amp-have-6-half-siblings#post-2885332 Wed, 22 May 2019 14:09:16 +0000 Ajsmommy 2885332@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wowza!! that's heavy. I'm happy that you are taking it in a positive way. One of DH's uncles (by marriage) recently found out he was adopted.. like he's in his late 40's and somehow it came out. It sent him for a loop but he too connected with blood siblings and he seems to love that aspect. I'm not sure how I'd handle the news.... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/just-found-out-im-donor-conceived-amp-have-6-half-siblings#post-2885329 Wed, 22 May 2019 14:03:24 +0000 crazydoglady 2885329@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@DesertDreams88: Oh my gosh! This is crazy! I don't really understand how 23 and me works, but does this mean there could be many others who just haven't signed up? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/just-found-out-im-donor-conceived-amp-have-6-half-siblings#post-2885328 Wed, 22 May 2019 13:21:05 +0000 hummusgirl 2885328@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The author @foodiebee mentioned has a podcast called Family Secrets that's basically all stories just like this, if it helps you process things. &lt;3 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/just-found-out-im-donor-conceived-amp-have-6-half-siblings#post-2885324 Wed, 22 May 2019 12:51:47 +0000 foodiebee 2885324@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This sounds similar to a memoir that recently came out: <a href="https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/inheritance-dani-shapiro/1128771903" rel="nofollow">https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/inheritance-dani-shapiro/1128771903</a></p> <p>I originally heard the author tell her story on the Longest Shortest Time podcast: <a href="https://longestshortesttime.com/episode-191-dani-shapiros-family-secret/" rel="nofollow">https://longestshortesttime.com/episode-191-dani-shapiros-family-secret/</a></p> <p>Her thoughts might resonate with you and what you're feeling! I imagine it's deeply complicated emotionally for you and also your parents, whose self-worth might be tied up in their fertility and whatever journey it was that led them to donation (just thinking about my own infertility journey and emotions and trying to reflect)... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/just-found-out-im-donor-conceived-amp-have-6-half-siblings#post-2885320 Wed, 22 May 2019 12:16:16 +0000 psw27 2885320@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@DesertDreams88: Wow. You must be feeling really overwhelmed. That is a lot to process for all of you. But yeah, 23 and me really leads to lots of interesting discussions. I'm pretty sure my cousins have no idea that they have an older half sibling, but they might find out soon enough. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/just-found-out-im-donor-conceived-amp-have-6-half-siblings#post-2885318 Wed, 22 May 2019 12:00:51 +0000 pinkb 2885318@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think this is awesome that you found more family. I think secrets like this are way too common and I don’t really get it. I found out at 15 that my oldest sister is a half sister, that my mom had her before meeting my dad, the guy that got her pregnant didn’t want to be part of having a baby. My mind was blown! My mom kept that secret for 20 years and it weighed very heavily on her. I just hate that she felt she had to keep that secret. Her BFF from back then also got pregnant and was sent away to have the baby and give it away. Her 2 grown sons still have no clue they have a sister. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/just-found-out-im-donor-conceived-amp-have-6-half-siblings#post-2885315 Wed, 22 May 2019 11:37:30 +0000 Littlebit7 2885315@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@DesertDreams88: i get it. I’ve had to hash out (and I’m in the process of hashing out) some serious family shit. Geography isn’t in my favor. But sometimes I think that’s a good thing; if I saw my family all the time we’d never get a break from the hard stuff. Good luck with this; it sounds tough for all involved. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/just-found-out-im-donor-conceived-amp-have-6-half-siblings#post-2885314 Wed, 22 May 2019 11:33:49 +0000 DesertDreams88 2885314@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Littlebit7: yeah, I wish. I live across the country and I won't see them until September. We talked over the phone - I didn't want to do facetime or anything because of crying and such, I thought we could have a clearer conversation with just audio. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/just-found-out-im-donor-conceived-amp-have-6-half-siblings#post-2885313 Wed, 22 May 2019 11:32:13 +0000 DesertDreams88 2885313@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Autumnmama79: I think secret affairs would be much, much harder to deal with. ugh. Good to hear that hopefully something good is coming from it. </p> <p>@kiddosc: supposedly yes. I will say, however, that all the genetic siblings look alike and have lots of similarities in terms of college &amp; professions; and my brother is VERY different. but hey, nature vs nurture, I guess? He does NOT want to do a DNA test. </p> <p>@Tionn3: Yep. SO many people, especially my parents, in-laws, and older bosses have echoed that same line. It's a bit frustrating because I feel there never needed to be secrets in the first place but I don't know what it was like to be an adult in the 80s / early 90s. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/just-found-out-im-donor-conceived-amp-have-6-half-siblings#post-2885312 Wed, 22 May 2019 11:30:40 +0000 Littlebit7 2885312@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Damn. That’s a lot to take in. It’s a lot of emotion for everyone involved. Perhaps let the dust settle a bit for everyone and have a chat with your parents and bro. Your dad sounds like he needs a hug. Actually I bet everyone could use a hug. Families come in a lot of different shapes and sizes; hugs to you. This is a lot to process. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/just-found-out-im-donor-conceived-amp-have-6-half-siblings#post-2885311 Wed, 22 May 2019 11:28:45 +0000 graceandjoy 2885311@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wow, that is crazy! And I'm sorry you had to find out yourself. I hope everyone will be able to make peace with this and have some real talks. Hugs :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/just-found-out-im-donor-conceived-amp-have-6-half-siblings#post-2885306 Wed, 22 May 2019 11:02:29 +0000 Tionn3 2885306@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh wow. The age of 23andme. There are no more secrets. This must be a lot for you to take in. I have no advice or experience, but hugs. I would be freaking out too! </p>