https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 11 Apr 2026 11:25:31 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kids-and-social-media#post-2808781 Fri, 09 Mar 2018 14:36:12 +0000 Mama Bird 2808781@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@newlypregnantlady: interesting! I'm also a loner IRL, and if I couldn't go online from my phone I'd just be really isolated. Most of my friends don't have time to meet more than once in a couple of months. I don't really want to deprive the kids of a community like this but, yeah, addiction and all that potential for like-hunting and bullying... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kids-and-social-media#post-2808623 Thu, 08 Mar 2018 22:29:40 +0000 newlypregnantlady 2808623@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband and I just talked about this! He’s a HS teacher and is super anti-social media. My only social media is stuff like HB and Reddit, and my husband is the same (no Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter, etc.).</p> <p>His biggest issue as an educator is how he sees that every single kid with a smartphone is majorly addicted to them. Any minute they’re allowed to be on their phones, they are. And when the school does phone-free trips, the kids spend the entire time complaining and whining and begging for their phones. It’s truly an addiction (which I say from my phone, of course!). </p> <p>It’s interesting to me because I’m a major loner, and probably like a lot of people here, I’ve found various internet communities to be incredibly enriching. And even though it’s not as easy, my DH basically said that kids are social creatures and will find ways to communicate. There are kids who don’t have phones and they still have friends and socialize. I guess my biggest worry is that you’d be isolating your kid, but in my husbands experience that doesn’t happen to phoneless kids. </p> <p>So he’s adamant our kids won’t have smartphones or tablets, and I’m not really opposed. I do think I spend too much time on the Internet, though what I’m usually doing is watching YouTube tutorials for things I never have time for (last night I watched a bunch of quilting tutorials, idk why). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kids-and-social-media#post-2808612 Thu, 08 Mar 2018 21:26:02 +0000 Amorini 2808612@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don’t have anything to add as my kid is too young to really have a plan at this point. We are holding steadfast with zero screen time under age 2 and then as long as we can hold out. I want my kid playing in the dirt, making a mess in art supplies and running around with the dogs as much as possible.</p> <p>But as much as this thing is kind of “far off” for me, I am heartened to hear that you are all trying to really deal with this! I see and experience a lot of resignation about it IRL, including with my nieces and nephews. It makes me believe that I may not be the only one who is putting my foot down in 8-10 years, when I’ll be in the throes of whatever technology has for us then.</p> <p>Stay strong, mammas! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kids-and-social-media#post-2808596 Thu, 08 Mar 2018 20:12:53 +0000 ElbieKay 2808596@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My son is four, and I am currently baking twin girls.</p> <p>All of his screen time consists of kids videos on Amazon Prime and Netflix. When he was younger I used to show him YouTube videos sometimes, but he quickly figured out how to surf to other videos and I was worried that it was not controlled enough.</p> <p>I would never in a million years voluntarily download an app for him. Not sure when/if/how that might change.</p> <p>He only watches videos at home in the evening. He is a little addict which I hate. But at least there are no commercials so I consider it an improvement on tv.</p> <p>I don't know when I will allow him to use social media but my gut says middle school is too young and college is too late. So I will probably start to keep a closer eye on that issue when he is in late elementary school in order to have a baseline of information.</p> <p>Unfortunately there may be a social component to some of this, and I don't want to cut him off completely if all of his friends are on a particular platform. But I will definitely not allow him to "friend" anyone he does not know IRL. He can wait until he is an adult to do that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kids-and-social-media#post-2808585 Thu, 08 Mar 2018 19:20:08 +0000 lamariniere 2808585@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: Agree, who knows what the field will look like in 5 more years when our kids are tweens. </p> <p>Friends of ours with older kids say not to allow the kid to have the phone in their room at night. I think that's a great idea. We'll probably also password protect the app store, or whatever, so that they can't download apps without permission. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kids-and-social-media#post-2808508 Thu, 08 Mar 2018 12:30:00 +0000 josina 2808508@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@honeybear: it's not school-sanctioned, but that's how the girls communicate. They have dress-up days on game days so they discuss what they're going to wear to school, stuff like that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kids-and-social-media#post-2808495 Thu, 08 Mar 2018 12:17:13 +0000 honeybear 2808495@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@josina: Wait, so the basketball team at the school uses only Snapchat for releasing practice schedules/uniform info? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kids-and-social-media#post-2808485 Thu, 08 Mar 2018 12:01:50 +0000 Mrs. Lion 2808485@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@josina: I hate snapchat. I hate it SO MUCH. I am very much praying it goes away before my kids are teens :bummed: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kids-and-social-media#post-2808482 Thu, 08 Mar 2018 11:53:30 +0000 nana87 2808482@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I saw that article, so horrifying! I don't even know what we'll do when we get to that stage... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kids-and-social-media#post-2808476 Thu, 08 Mar 2018 11:11:12 +0000 josina 2808476@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@kiddosc: You can video-chat through snapchat if both people are on at the same time. Snapchat is definitely more worrisome because it makes it so easy to sext, and then kids might think they're safe but it's also super easy to screenshot. </p> <p>The thing with snapchat for my stepdaughter (15), is that it is the main form of communication for her basketball team, they have group chats so they discuss team outfits, practices, etc. directly through that. It's also the main way she talks to her friend group, so banning it completely would seem extreme.</p> <p>So for a teenager, I think the best thing to do is just monitor usage, and educate on the dangers of accepting unknown users or sending images.<br /> And delay, delay, delay on allowing these apps to begin with. ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kids-and-social-media#post-2808462 Thu, 08 Mar 2018 10:35:03 +0000 snowjewelz 2808462@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The scariest thing to me is that when my kids are of "social media age", who knows what's going on in that world by then (in about 8-10 years). I totally have the ostrich mentality when it comes to this and want to just bury my head in the sand until I have to start worrying for real. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kids-and-social-media#post-2808442 Thu, 08 Mar 2018 08:17:37 +0000 honeybear 2808442@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was thinking about this more, and I could have been more clear in my post: I'm going to take the approach outlined in the article, likely minus the monetary bribe. No social media. I'll give my son a full explanation as to why when we get to that point, but the bottom line is no. </p> <p>@kiddosc: You're right--you can't lock these things down and I think trying to monitor is a losing game. (Not to mention that monitoring this cr*p is a complete waste of your time, too!) The only reasonable approach is to say no. I liked the WSJ article linked in the Scary Mommy post. The boy they quote clearly has sensible parents, even if it's presented as his decision. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kids-and-social-media#post-2808407 Wed, 07 Mar 2018 19:05:49 +0000 Mrs. Lion 2808407@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@kiddosc: The only way I can think of is to make it so she only uses it in common spaces with us watching. But I dont know that I trust myself enough to really watch that closely. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kids-and-social-media#post-2808398 Wed, 07 Mar 2018 18:05:01 +0000 808love 2808398@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DD has a Tinitell phone watch with a phone number. So no data (for a long time) but can call/receive select phone numbers. I also let her go on kids' Kudos app for a few weeks and she got tired of it. Whenever I post, I always ask her first to teach her about privacy. There are a bunch of digital citizenship resources on Common Sense Media.This is something we need to impart in age appropriate stages. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kids-and-social-media#post-2808390 Wed, 07 Mar 2018 17:33:43 +0000 honeybear 2808390@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm a lot like the author: <a href="https://www.anastasiabasil.com/town-prude" rel="nofollow">https://www.anastasiabasil.com/town-prude</a> :silly: </p> <p>...although I would have shut down the app request on the grounds that it's a waste of precious time. That's pretty much my criterion for evaluating stuff like this: Is this a good way for my son to spend his time? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kids-and-social-media#post-2808377 Wed, 07 Mar 2018 16:21:13 +0000 kiddosc 2808377@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lion: I just don't even understand how you lock it down. You can certainly make their profile private, but on any social media platform they can still look at anything that anyone else has made public. :bummed: </p> <p>I imagine this is so much harder with your foster kids who have lived under different rules! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kids-and-social-media#post-2808376 Wed, 07 Mar 2018 16:13:44 +0000 Mrs. Lion 2808376@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Being thrust into big kid land, this is definitely on my mind a lot right now. I actually have been trying to figure out whether to let my foster daughter (shes 10) on musicaly.ly and saw this article this morning and was horrified. She used to use it before she came to us and has been begging to get back on, but I am thinking hard pass on that unless I can lock it down pretty hardcore...</p> <p>Both big kids (9 and 10) have Amazon kindle tablets but they cant use them in their room. If they watch videos on youtube it has to be on the big tv/monitor in the living room where we can see, and we monitor other computer games. There is one called Animal Jam that I am considering cutting access to but haven't decided. </p> <p>I don't think I can commit to a hard rule yet, but I am really feeling like social media is really not appropriate until high school. I know that will cause social distress so I don't know if I will stick to it. I feel way more comfortable with facebook amd Instagram than Snapchat and musical.ly at this point... </p> <p>Y'all, this is hard stuff 😭 Can we just go back to playing Oregon Trail in 4th grade please? We should not have to worry about porn in 4th grade 😭 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kids-and-social-media#post-2808373 Wed, 07 Mar 2018 16:09:35 +0000 kiddosc 2808373@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@josina: Snapchat is so concerning since the images disappear and there's really no way for you to definitively know what was shared. I didn't even know you could video chat in snapchat! </p> <p>@looch: I think monitoring all activity is only plausible for a certain amount of time and a certain level of usage though. I"m not staying up at night worrying about this, but it's certainly something that gives me pause when stories like the one I posted come to my attention. </p> <p>@Mama Bird: Our public schools give iPads to the kids to take home starting in 2nd grade. The specific apps they can download is restricted, but there are still messaging apps available to them that would allow them access to each other at all times of the day. </p> <p>@Mrs. High Heels: I'm much more comfortable with TV as well. I agree, I don't think it's possible to expect to monitor all their activity either. It's one of those aspects where you can arm your kids with knowledge and an open door policy, but ultimately there's no way to regulate their whole online experience. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kids-and-social-media#post-2808365 Wed, 07 Mar 2018 15:33:46 +0000 Mrs. High Heels 2808365@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I worry about this too. At 7 and 5, they don't have social media accounts or personal cellphones, but something as seemingly harmless as Musicly like the author mentioned does worry me. </p> <p>I think it's important to do our research before we agree to giving our kids access to apps, and lots of dialogue/communication. I don't know... I have a lot to learn too and need to read up more on this subject.</p> <p>Right now we only let them have limited iPad time on weekends, and there are major restrictions in place - they can't download/upload apps (the appstore is hidden), the camera is hidden so they can't even take pics/videos, and there is no youtube app. They're only able to play age-appropriate games on there. iPad and individual devices are definitely harder to monitor bc you cannot be looking over your child's shoulder 24/7. I feel more comfortable with them watching cartoons on TV. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kids-and-social-media#post-2808362 Wed, 07 Mar 2018 15:25:25 +0000 Mama Bird 2808362@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>*sigh* yeah, I don't think I'll let my kids be online unsupervised until they know what malware, identity theft, trolls, stalking, and Swatting are. And no pictures of themselves anywhere with no access restrictions. Only some of my five-year-old's friends already have iPads, and even many grown adults don't seem to think twice about putting info that makes them easily identifiable out there. I'm going to look like such a kook to the kids...</p> <p>And probably no smartphone until they're old enough to pay the monthly bill, if only because it's addictive and such a way to waste time. If I can keep that out of their hands until they're responsible enough for at least a summer job, that will be a win. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kids-and-social-media#post-2808350 Wed, 07 Mar 2018 15:01:17 +0000 looch 2808350@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My son is only 7 and in first grade and I am not worried right now, mainly because he's not online and I can't fill my mindspace with "what ifs" for technology that hasn't even been developed yet.</p> <p>When the time comes, we will institute no phones in bedrooms after lights out and I will monitor all activity, whatever it is. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kids-and-social-media#post-2808348 Wed, 07 Mar 2018 14:58:30 +0000 josina 2808348@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have a 15 year old step-daughter. She had a 'dumb' phone until this past fall, but could access some apps on her ipod that she's had since she was 13. She's had snapchat and instagram, but does not have a facebook account yet. </p> <p>My DH periodically checks her apps and will go through snap chats. Last year we had her un-friend a LOT of her friends on snapchat (pretty much the entire school) so that she's only friends with real-life friends. This happened after DH caught her (then 14) facetiming (in snapchat) with an upper classman, in her bed, at 10 o'clock at night, "because he kept bugging her".<br /> On instagram, her account is private and I am actually friends with a lot of her classmates, if a friend of hers requests to follow me, I usually follow back, so I can keep tabs on what is going on.</p> <p>Of the two apps Snapchat is most worrisome since there's no way to see what she's doing / who she's following. But there does have to be a little bit of trust there I guess that she's making the right decisions? It's hard. She's a really good kid so we trust her. If there was ever an issue we would have her delete her account in a heartbeat.<br /> I have warned her in the past not to follow (or accept a request to follow) anyone she doesn't know.</p> <p>For my two little one's I don't want them having access to apps like that until they're older, 12/13? I don't believe young kids need personal cell phones. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kids-and-social-media#post-2808330 Wed, 07 Mar 2018 14:33:58 +0000 kiddosc 2808330@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This article has been all over my newsfeed today and it has really gotten me thinking... and freaked out!<br /> <a href="http://www.scarymommy.com/porn-is-not-the-worst-thing-on-musical-ly/?utm_source=FB" rel="nofollow">http://www.scarymommy.com/porn-is-not-the-worst-thing-on-musical-ly/?utm_source=FB</a></p> <p>How to navigate social media and smartphone usage for our kids is something I seriously stress about. It's impossible to monitor their usage all the time and even if you somehow limit your own child's usage, that doesn't mean that you can protect them from others discussing and harassing them online. The internet as a whole is such a blessing and a curse. </p> <p>How do those of you with older kids navigate the internet, social media, and smartphone usage? If you kids are still little, do you have a plan, are you stressed about it too? </p>