https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 17 Apr 2026 22:32:37 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kids-at-two-different-daycares#post-2660207 Thu, 01 Dec 2016 15:02:34 +0000 HappyBaker 2660207@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrsbells: Good point I forgot about the sibling discount that we'd lose! </p> <p>@2PeasinaPod: Yea I think that is why it bothers me so much, she's not a great teacher in general but she only speaks so negatively about my son like this (that I hear...I mean if she says this stuff while I'm there I can't imagine what she says when I'm not!)</p> <p>@Pumuckl: I'm so glad to hear that you do this and its helped! </p> <p>@Anagram: Yea I think the director's feeling is that she is a young, new teacher, and doesn't have the best attitude / has no idea how to talk to parents. But other people haven't complained because she isn't AS negative with their kids it doesn't seem. It's exactly what you described with your friend as well, the things she tells me that she is annoyed about are totally not appropriate developmentally. I'm not just saying this because I'm his mom, but he's really NOT an asshole haha.</p> <p>Thanks for making me feel like I'm not totally crazy for not wanting DS to deal with this again all! I emailed the director to see if/when she is planning to move him and if the teachers are staying the same. If she responds that he is moving / it will be her I'll schedule some time to sit down and talk about it again. I'm hoping maybe he can just stay in his current room a little longer than normal and then we can figure out a new plan for the Fall for both kids. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kids-at-two-different-daycares#post-2660202 Thu, 01 Dec 2016 14:57:42 +0000 runnerd 2660202@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would look into moving daycares. I will be the first to admit my DS is a handful compared to his peers (luckily he's also fun and sweet to make up for it). He's been with teachers who find constructive things to say, and with teachers who seemed to dislike him. Luckily the disliking teachers didn't last long at the daycare, but I had such bad anxiety during that period and got knots in my stomach at pickup waiting to see what awful thing he did that day. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kids-at-two-different-daycares#post-2660198 Thu, 01 Dec 2016 14:55:43 +0000 petitenoisette 2660198@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@HappyBaker: Well now that you've mentioned more of what she's said about your LO I'm not sure I could get over that. If the director doesn't take your concerns seriously then I would probably consider moving both of them... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kids-at-two-different-daycares#post-2660172 Thu, 01 Dec 2016 14:38:06 +0000 Anagram 2660172@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@HappyBaker: whoa, if you had to tell her not to talk at all if she can't find something positive to say, then it seems like there is a real issue. That's insane. And the director has just brushed off your concerns? That would worry me too. I agree with you that a whole year is a long time for a child--you really want someone that is nurturing to them and invested in them. And it doesn't sound like she's it.</p> <p>There was a similar situation in our LOs old daycare. A coworker of mine has a daughter the same age as my oldest and said that their teacher would constantly only have negative things to say about her daughter at pickup. And a lot of it wasn't developmentally appropriate. Like the teacher would tell her almost every single day that "K" didn't have her listening ears on, or was having trouble sharing. And it wasn't what was said--this was a 2 year old class, so every single kid is going to be learning how to listen and follow directions and how to share. It was the fact that the teacher was only reporting negative stuff every single day, when her previous teachers/floater teacher only had positive things to say. It sucks to feel like a child is singled out, but you definitely want to be proactive and make sure you protect your LO from anything like that. </p> <p>I'm super non confrontational, but I would probably discuss some talking points with my DH and then discuss those concerns with the teacher herself first. Say, Look....I'm going to be honest. Sometimes it seems like you don't like LO and I need to figure out if this situation is going to be a good fit for us next year. And give her a chance to talk.</p> <p>If you aren't happy with her answers, and feel like she can't be loving and treat your LO as she would treat anyone in the class, then I would raise the issue with the director. And if the director brushes off your concern, I would definitely switch. Because then you know that's a daycare that doesn't have your LO's best interests at heart. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kids-at-two-different-daycares#post-2660125 Thu, 01 Dec 2016 14:05:46 +0000 Pumuckl 2660125@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@HappyBaker: to answer your title question yes we do 2 different daycares. Just like you we didn't really click with DD's teachers. So after giving it awhile we decided to switch her. Your daycares are about a 5-10 min drive from one another. It was definitely the right decision for us because DD is now soooo much happier. What's 2x15 min in a day when you know your kid is happy for the 8.5h it spends there. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kids-at-two-different-daycares#post-2660073 Thu, 01 Dec 2016 13:19:22 +0000 2PeasinaPod 2660073@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@HappyBaker: The more you talk about her, the more it sounds as if she has a specific issue with your son. I think that would bother me even more than generally a checked out teacher. Do you hear her talk about anyone else's kids in a negative way? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kids-at-two-different-daycares#post-2660070 Thu, 01 Dec 2016 13:11:02 +0000 looch 2660070@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd move the kids, both of them. A year is a long time for a child to be in someone's care and she seems really negative. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kids-at-two-different-daycares#post-2660008 Thu, 01 Dec 2016 12:25:09 +0000 Mrsbells 2660008@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@HappyBaker: I would want to keep both kids in one daycare because its the most convenient and probably the cheapest option since most places offer a sibiling discount. I think dropping off at two different daycares everyday would just be too much. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kids-at-two-different-daycares#post-2659958 Thu, 01 Dec 2016 11:37:04 +0000 HappyBaker 2659958@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@T.H.O.U.: That is good to know about elementary school! I guess since I nor no one I knew growing up switched I didn't realize you could do that. I haven't talked to her since he was last in her class almost a year ago, but was planning to have a meeting soon to see when he was moving up and discuss my concerns for when that happens.</p> <p>@daniellemybelle: They sometimes combine with her class at the end of the day, so she is with him for like an hour a few times a month, and she always has something to say about that one hour when I pick him up. This summer I actually said to her "If you have nothing nice or actually important to say, don't talk to me about him." And repeatedly that "he is a toddler" when she would complain that he had a tantrum. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kids-at-two-different-daycares#post-2659949 Thu, 01 Dec 2016 11:24:09 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2659949@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Also, when is the last time you've talked to the director about your issues/concerns? I would have a meeting again to say look, I'm open to giving a chance, but I want to let you know I"m still concerned and would like to have a plan ahead of time for how this is going to be handled. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kids-at-two-different-daycares#post-2659948 Thu, 01 Dec 2016 11:23:10 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2659948@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Umm, I disagree that even more so during grade school you can switch teachers! If a teacher and student don't have compatible teaching/learning styles, I 100% would be going to the admin talking about solutions. Luckily in elementary schools, there is more than 1 teacher per grade so there is some flexibility. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kids-at-two-different-daycares#post-2659935 Thu, 01 Dec 2016 11:14:13 +0000 daniellemybelle 2659935@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Personally, I don't think I would give someone a shot who talked negatively about my child in front of them to me. She's not even his teacher now so what is the point of her doing this? I would be too nervous her preconceived notions would affect how she treats him. I'd probably move both kids. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kids-at-two-different-daycares#post-2659924 Thu, 01 Dec 2016 11:00:37 +0000 hummusgirl 2659924@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm in a similar situation. We're on the wait list for another daycare for my younger one but I don't know what we'll do if he actually gets in. I love the baby teacher (where DS2 is now) but not so sure about the next two years - it's not that the teachers are terrible, I'm just underwhelmed. However, and this may just be because I'm lazy, I do think as they get older it matters more about their peers, free play time, etc., and a little less about the teachers (unless the teacher is really bad and there's a negative vibe). I'm loathe to move DS1 because he's sooo happy there with all his friends, even if the teaching/philosophy might be "better" somewhere else. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kids-at-two-different-daycares#post-2659909 Thu, 01 Dec 2016 10:46:22 +0000 2PeasinaPod 2659909@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@HappyBaker: That's what DH keeps telling me. That if we get a bad teacher when they go to grade school, we won't be able to just switch them out. But I'm with you...these people are caring for our children right now, and I want them to have the best experience possible. It does make me feel better that the assistant is more like a teacher than the real one. She's also going to school for early education as well, so she's younger, but it seems as if she's caring for the kids almost as if they're her own. </p> <p>I'm sorry you're going through it as well. I think I would speak to the director about your initial concerns. We're headed in that direction as well. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kids-at-two-different-daycares#post-2659906 Thu, 01 Dec 2016 10:42:46 +0000 HappyBaker 2659906@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@2PeasinaPod: Ugh I'm sorry you are going through the exact same thing! It's so hard. :-( I realize once they get to REAL school we won't be able to swap teachers if we don't get the best one ever / our ideal pick, but for some reason the fact that they are little and its daycare makes it feel worse to me that they are spending so much time with this person! I'm actually not sure who the assistant is in the next room, but maybe if it's someone great that will help. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kids-at-two-different-daycares#post-2659900 Thu, 01 Dec 2016 10:37:35 +0000 2PeasinaPod 2659900@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@HappyBaker: I'm sort of in this situation now, but it's my 4 year old in a class with a teacher who sounds like the one you described. This woman is older, used to teach previously, and just recently got back into it after being a floater within the day care. I didn't get a great vibe from her when she was a floater, and when I found out DS would be in her class, I was dreading it. I wish I could say she's gotten better, but it's just clear that she's doing this strictly for a job. She doesn't seem to like the kids, and she's always sitting at her desk in the room instead of interacting with the kids when I pick DS up. I wanted to give her a chance, but we're 3 months in, and she's not getting any better.</p> <p>I'm really just not sure how to handle it. I love the center otherwise. My littlest just moved up a room, and he's transitioned beautifully because the teachers made it so easy. I know the next 2 rooms he'll be in have amazing teachers, because DS1 has had them and I loved both of them. I'm trying to see if I can just stick it out for the rest of this year. The assistant teacher in that room is pretty awesome, and she does interact with the kids quite a bit. DS1 has taken to her and talks about her constantly, so I'm thinking that might be our saving grace. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kids-at-two-different-daycares#post-2659886 Thu, 01 Dec 2016 10:27:51 +0000 HappyBaker 2659886@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Adira: Yea he does love a few of his classmates, and in general we have really liked the other families / kids / parents that go to our daycare, which I know wouldn't happen everywhere! I wish I could just take a year off and bring him back when he gets to the better teacher haha. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kids-at-two-different-daycares#post-2659884 Thu, 01 Dec 2016 10:26:43 +0000 HappyBaker 2659884@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mama Bird: Yea I agree she should just not be a teacher. She is super young, this is her first year as a lead teacher in a daycare, and DS was her first infant that she cared for from 8 weeks until he moved up to toddlers at 1. I just can't imagine even myself spending 40 hours a week with ANY baby and not feeling some type of love / general niceness towards them!! I kept complaining to the director at the time but her thought was every teacher needs to learn / grow and that they were giving her a chance. Here's hoping she's better with the 2 year old group. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kids-at-two-different-daycares#post-2659881 Thu, 01 Dec 2016 10:24:14 +0000 Adira 2659881@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Does your DS have any friends at his daycare. I haven't always loved the teachers at mine, but Xander has really made some good friends, so I would be loathe to move him to another center just for that reason! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kids-at-two-different-daycares#post-2659879 Thu, 01 Dec 2016 10:22:58 +0000 Mama Bird 2659879@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If you end up going to a new daycare, it's not that bad. We're sending our two to different day cares because our old one don't have a pre K program, and it's working out well. </p> <p>That teacher... I don't know her of course, but she sounds like she shouldn't be a teacher. That's a great way to talk about a child, and in front of him too. Although we do have one teacher at the old day care who at first gave us the vibe that she doesn't like kids very much. She's adjusted since and DD loves her, even though I was sure she'd give any day care teacher a hard time (she used to refuse bottles, and took forever to learn to walk so the staff had to carry her everywhere). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kids-at-two-different-daycares#post-2659878 Thu, 01 Dec 2016 10:22:47 +0000 lamariniere 2659878@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So my kids aren't in different daycares, but one is in school and one is in daycare, in opposite directions from one another. It's kind of a hassle to manage two different pickup times and two different holiday schedules/occasional early closings. Theoretically, we could put DD in the school's daycare but it's almost twice as expensive as what we are currently paying and there are some other minor concerns/reasons that we wouldn't. I would try to give the teacher a chance this year. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kids-at-two-different-daycares#post-2659867 Thu, 01 Dec 2016 10:19:21 +0000 psw27 2659867@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I guess I would give her a shot and also explore my options. I will likely have 2 daycare drop offs in the future. I can't say how it will be, but I don't think it is too crazy if it works best for your kids! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kids-at-two-different-daycares#post-2659845 Thu, 01 Dec 2016 10:07:48 +0000 HappyBaker 2659845@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@petitenoisette: This is great advice, thank you! You're right, if I do give her the chance and it works out better I will feel 1,000 times less guilty about his infant time. Maybe I'll tour a few places / figure out where I'd send him if we NEED to switch but see how it goes for a month or so. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kids-at-two-different-daycares#post-2659840 Thu, 01 Dec 2016 10:04:46 +0000 petitenoisette 2659840@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hmm I would probably explore some other options and find out about availability elsewhere but give the teacher another chance. This isn't the same because I didn't have prior experience, but I always do not like the new teacher when my LO moves up just because I am attached to the old one and worried about the change. But then everytime I've ended up being super happy with the new teacher once I give them a chance. </p> <p>Your situation is different obviously, but I would give her a chance to see if she is better with an older child. If it works out then it would probably also alleviate some of your guilt of their prior experience together. </p> <p>That being said, we just have one LO now but it is pretty likely her and our 2nd will end up at different daycares when LO goes to preschool. As long as you can split drop-offs with the your DH then I don't think it is the worst idea. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kids-at-two-different-daycares#post-2659833 Thu, 01 Dec 2016 09:57:25 +0000 HappyBaker 2659833@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Short version - Does anyone do this? Is this crazy? </p> <p>Long version - Right now both kids - DD (4) and DS (turning 2), are at the same daycare, in our town. It's 5 minutes away which is awesome because both DH and I can do drop offs / pick ups with no issues. The problem is DS will soon move up to a new room, and I do NOT like the teacher he would have. </p> <p>It's a center, so there is one room per age group. This teacher was his infant teacher, and after going through it I wish I had switched daycares for him way back then, because she was just so not what I wanted for him. While she never did anything actually WRONG, she was just so not loving / caring to him, and still to this day tells me in front of him how he is annoying / dramatic / hard to handle. (He's not...he's just a toddler!) She was his teacher since he was a TEENY TINY baby at 8 weeks old and the fact that she dislikes him so much and that he was with her for so long hurts my heart to think about, and thinking about him being with her again makes me crazy. I have a feeling she might be better with this older age group, but I'm torn on if I want to even give her the chance. I can definitely talk to the director and see if there's any way he could just stay in his current room, but I have a feeling at some point he'd have to move up / he should move up to be with kids his age. </p> <p>What would you do? Find somewhere new for just him? Find somewhere new for both kids? DD misses the Kindergarten cut off so she has another full year of daycare left and won't start until 2018. I like the preschool teacher at our current daycare so possibly could just move him for one year but that seems crazy too! </p>