https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 18 Apr 2026 19:43:31 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kind-of-ashamed-to-ask-this#post-959571 Wed, 24 Jul 2013 13:06:49 +0000 JoyfulKiwi 959571@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@travellingbee: I'm a teacher too (and worked in daycare with young ones for several years) and I've dealt with the same feelings. I remember asking my husband if he thought our son felt like school was his "home" and our house was just some place he visits. He reassured me by saying that we - and me specifically - have a bond that's been forming for over a year. He knows we're his parents and wherever we are is his home. :)</p> <p>Our son is almost 10 months and just recently started crying at drop off. I can say that's 100% worse than having him leap happily into his teacher's arms or crawl away. It's definitely peace of mind while we're apart. I've had more than one child call me 'Mom' at school every year and I know it's because we've created a safe, happy space - not because I'm a replacement. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kind-of-ashamed-to-ask-this#post-959553 Wed, 24 Jul 2013 13:03:22 +0000 lizzywiz 959553@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cole: aw. thanks for posting this. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kind-of-ashamed-to-ask-this#post-959544 Wed, 24 Jul 2013 13:01:32 +0000 Cole 959544@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am a nanny and while the kids love me and give hugs and snuggles I don't ever hold a candle to Mom. When they are hurt or sick they cry for Mom, they ask to call and tell her their accomplishments and are excited for her to come home. I have worked with so many families and it is always the same- Mom trumps all :-). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kind-of-ashamed-to-ask-this#post-959496 Wed, 24 Jul 2013 12:50:12 +0000 lizzywiz 959496@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@travellingbee: Me, me, me, me! :wink: </p> <p>And like everyone has said, I take comfort in the fact that LO and her provider have such a great relationship and I live for that smile I get when I pick her up.</p> <p>I work with other people's kids and I am a product of daycare, so I was really surprised at my feelings of jealousy, too. I told her provider not to tell me if LO ever calls her mama- I don't want to know! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kind-of-ashamed-to-ask-this#post-959381 Wed, 24 Jul 2013 12:30:30 +0000 Smurfette 959381@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>She smiles when we first get there. I am glad that she does cause it makes me feel better about leaving her there. </p> <p>I always get a bigger smile when I pick her up :happy: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kind-of-ashamed-to-ask-this#post-959208 Wed, 24 Jul 2013 11:54:05 +0000 travellingbee 959208@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom says she remembers when my brother was about 3 years old he was petting her hair and stopped and said, "You should cut your hair like Teacher Kate, Mommy." She said her heart broke a little, how in love he was with her but she was so happy that he was happy in pre-school. I guess that is normal. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kind-of-ashamed-to-ask-this#post-959191 Wed, 24 Jul 2013 11:51:09 +0000 littlek 959191@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LuLu Mom: It's a great sign our LOs crawl/walk/run to their teachers, but it does bring a little tear to my eyes... like- don't forget about mommy.. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kind-of-ashamed-to-ask-this#post-959178 Wed, 24 Jul 2013 11:48:43 +0000 LuLu Mom 959178@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I get sad when she crawls away from me and up to one of the teachers, but it also makes me happy that she's happy during the day. It's important to me that she loves it there (and I can tell she does and that they love her!) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kind-of-ashamed-to-ask-this#post-959169 Wed, 24 Jul 2013 11:46:58 +0000 blackbird 959169@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I do drop off and DH does pick up so I don't see this, but E gives giant smiles to our daycare lady. Frankly, I'm just glad she's happy at daycare all day! It makes it easy to drop her off for 8 hours if i know she's having a blast :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kind-of-ashamed-to-ask-this#post-959001 Wed, 24 Jul 2013 11:10:46 +0000 dojo 959001@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was a little worried that he would kind of forget me since we wouldn't be together all day. I cried a lot the first day I went back to work and at that point he was just going over to my MIL. Everyday gets a little easier (but it's still hard!) and seeing his big smile when I get home reminds me that he does remember me and that he is happy to see me. </p> <p>Right now DH drops and picks up from daycare so I don't even see him with his teachers which could be a good or bad thing - not sure. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kind-of-ashamed-to-ask-this#post-958936 Wed, 24 Jul 2013 10:56:29 +0000 travellingbee 958936@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is so comforting ladies. Thank you so much for taking the time to reassure me. I guess I hadn't really processed the idea of this until my dream last night! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kind-of-ashamed-to-ask-this#post-958932 Wed, 24 Jul 2013 10:54:48 +0000 DillonLion 958932@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I worried about this, but then I found comfort in the fact that the daycare staff and my LO LOVE each other. And I am glad that she is getting loving care when I have to be at work. I am glad that they bond. At the end of the day, there is never any confusion about who is loved "the most" or whatever. She's never been anything but absolutely ecstatic to see me at the end of the day. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kind-of-ashamed-to-ask-this#post-958922 Wed, 24 Jul 2013 10:52:17 +0000 littlek 958922@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I worried he would not love me as much because of the time he spends at daycare.. BUT, it's not an issue because when I pick him up from daycare he gets a HUGE smile on his face and runs to me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kind-of-ashamed-to-ask-this#post-958851 Wed, 24 Jul 2013 10:39:50 +0000 Periwinkle 958851@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This was a huge fear of mine! I was nervous because I went back to work at 14 weeks and thought that LO would bond more to his caregiver than to me since he would be with her for many more hours during the day. In the beginning, it was really hard for me to see him reach for her (which I realize now wasn't even intentional since he was still so little) but now it actually brings me a lot of comfort knowing that he feels comfortable with her. </p> <p>It is so hard leaving our babies with virtual strangers in the beginning, but the fact that they do bond with their caregivers while we're at work is so special. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kind-of-ashamed-to-ask-this#post-958846 Wed, 24 Jul 2013 10:38:36 +0000 travellingbee 958846@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That's good to know @Adira: The funny thing is I am a teacher. I never would have expected to feel this way. </p> <p>@MamaMoose: Thanks, I know in the end I will be happy that he loves his teacher. That is the way it should be. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kind-of-ashamed-to-ask-this#post-958832 Wed, 24 Jul 2013 10:35:27 +0000 Adira 958832@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I worried that when Xander started daycare he would forget who I am!!!</p> <p>AND Xander definitely LOVES his daycare teacher. Whenever I go to pick him up from daycare, he doesn't care one bit that I'm there! He just STARES at her and smiles! It breaks my heart a little, but I'm glad he's so happy there. Luckily, as soon as I get him away from her, he's all eyes on me and is equally as affectionate, so I know he still loves me too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kind-of-ashamed-to-ask-this#post-958802 Wed, 24 Jul 2013 10:25:19 +0000 MamaMoose 958802@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@travellingbee: I worried about this before she went to school. But now that she has started it gives me comfort to know that she loves her teachers. I know she still loves me best of all! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kind-of-ashamed-to-ask-this#post-958792 Wed, 24 Jul 2013 10:22:40 +0000 travellingbee 958792@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm really not a clingy parent at all. I love that he loves to be held by anyone (so far!) and welcome all the help I can get. BUT. I go back to work in 3 weeks. (LO will be 5 months old.) And last night I had a dream that I went to pick him up and he was crying and snuggling into his teacher. I was jealous and it broke my heart to see him nuzzling her. When I woke up, I was so surprised at my reaction to the situation in my dream. I don't know why I would feel that way. It doesn't bother me at all when he nuzzles friends or family. </p> <p>Did anyone whose baby is in daycare struggle with feelings like this? </p>