https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 22 Apr 2026 00:20:20 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kindergartners-caught-having-sex-at-school/page/2#post-1452889 Wed, 26 Feb 2014 23:58:10 +0000 googly-eyes 1452889@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The thing that struck me about this article is all the complaining about the teacher. I've worked with K students and long story short I can imagine scenarios where 2 students could slip away, depending on the bathroom/classroom/yard setup and the ratio and the chaos of the day... The teacher did find and report the incident so I felt like it was a little harsh. I have seen some crazy ratios around here and during lunches I have been left with a 2 adults (self included) and about 70 K students, and that's in a better school. I don't know what the situation was in this case but I guess I just feel for the teacher. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kindergartners-caught-having-sex-at-school/page/2#post-1452832 Wed, 26 Feb 2014 23:11:36 +0000 spaniellove 1452832@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>They mentioned on the local news tonight that a large group of parents showed up at a meeting to support the teacher and demand that she be allowed to keep her job. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kindergartners-caught-having-sex-at-school#post-1451594 Wed, 26 Feb 2014 15:36:10 +0000 birdofafeather 1451594@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wow, I have a lot of thoughts about this, mostly what PPs mentioned and bringing up the fact that kids are sponges much sooner than we realize. This makes me sad and I really hope there isn't abuse found although it does seem a natural thing for kids to explore at that age of innocence. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kindergartners-caught-having-sex-at-school#post-1451414 Wed, 26 Feb 2014 14:54:30 +0000 looch 1451414@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@T-Mom: The one I have seen is in German, but "glancing" through it seems the same concept.</p> <p>Thanks!!!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kindergartners-caught-having-sex-at-school#post-1451401 Wed, 26 Feb 2014 14:52:45 +0000 CraftyMom13 1451401@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I dislike that the blogger is focusing so much on the teachers actions when we should really be concerned about why the children were attempting to "have sex" even if that just means they were naked. The do not think this is the teachers fault. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kindergartners-caught-having-sex-at-school#post-1451331 Wed, 26 Feb 2014 14:33:52 +0000 tequiero21 1451331@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Everyone stated my thoughts exactly. Disturbing! I can't imagine my kids at that age knowing what that is. Sigh. We live in a fast world. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kindergartners-caught-having-sex-at-school#post-1451288 Wed, 26 Feb 2014 14:19:47 +0000 MrsH 1451288@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>What the what? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kindergartners-caught-having-sex-at-school#post-1451276 Wed, 26 Feb 2014 14:16:58 +0000 T-Mom 1451276@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: is this the book? I have it bookmarked for my kids, for when the time is right. It's Not the Stork!: A Book About Girls, Boys, Babies, Bodies, Families and Friends (The Family Library)<br /> <a href="http://amzn.com/0763633313" rel="nofollow">http://amzn.com/0763633313</a></p> <p>I want to educate my kids earlier rather than later (unlike my parents who left me to figure it out on my own??).. Not so they know how to do it, but so they know what is NOT appropriate behavior, especially when it comes to other adults and abuse! Maybe even soon (she is five). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kindergartners-caught-having-sex-at-school#post-1451249 Wed, 26 Feb 2014 14:10:58 +0000 wonderstruck 1451249@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lovehoneybee: I'm not saying that is the definite conclusion here, but it is certainly a possibility and should be looked into. I hope it was just a case of kids playing house gone too far, but considering that the vast majority of childhood sexual abuse goes undetected, the authorities would be doing a disservice to those children to not at least check out that possibility. While most abusers will not use real terms like sex and penis, some do.</p> <p>And even in the best case scenario of this being a game of house gone too far, clearly the parents have some more work to do - when you're talking to children about sex and body parts, that discussion also needs to include a talk about boundaries. I certainly don't want my son walking away from the sex talk thinking that it's okay to go practice it at school with a classmate! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kindergartners-caught-having-sex-at-school#post-1451054 Wed, 26 Feb 2014 13:01:17 +0000 lovehoneybee 1451054@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wouldn't jump to the conclusion that there's abuse going on at home. My SIL gave her daughter the full sex talk when she turned 11 and started her period, but from the time she was very, very small SIL was laying the groundwork for it. Niece came home from school one day and asked SIL what sex was and how it made babies--one of her friends had been talking about (and who knows where she heard it from--TV, an older sibling, or even her parents, I dunno) . She was 5. SIL told her it's when a mommy and a daddy take their clothes off and cuddle. I can easily imagine something like that happening here. Kids who just have the very basest of information about sex playing "house". </p> <p>And honestly, I know we want to keep our children's innocence intact as long as possible, but I at least want E to know the technical terms of things early. I imagine if someone was trying to sexually abuse him he wouldn't refer to E's penis as a penis, not some flowery euphemism for it. If there's a question I want him to be able to tell me exactly what was touched with no question or doubt. I'm not going to be teaching him technique in kindergarten or anything, but I think, especially with as much as SEX is blared everywhere these days, that it's something that's important for him to know.</p> <p>Anyway, as for the teacher, given how easy it is for me to occasionally lose track of my single child in a small apartment for a few seconds I'm don't blame her for losing track of the kids for a few minutes. It's was a bathroom in the classroom, it's not like she missed the classroom door being opened, and it was an irregular day.</p> <p>ETA: And seriously, my parents NEVER talked to me about sex, but I knew the ins and outs from a very young age because I have older siblings. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kindergartners-caught-having-sex-at-school#post-1451019 Wed, 26 Feb 2014 12:51:04 +0000 lilteacherbee 1451019@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@meganmp: yes, exactly this.</p> <p>I "only" have 18 four/five year olds and a TA, but there are times that both of us are dealing with separate issues and the kids are incredibly sneaky and fast! Our bathroom is in our classroom too and there are moments when one of them goes without me noticing for a second (it's a half door, with the top part always open). </p> <p>The sex stuff is in our culture and media and it's completely insane how it's EVERYWHERE. Most kids would have to be very sheltered to not hear about it one way or another. I have kids who know wayyy more than I did at that age. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kindergartners-caught-having-sex-at-school#post-1450854 Wed, 26 Feb 2014 12:05:37 +0000 anandam 1450854@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@badwolf: Totally agree. I spent a lot of time around that age in the basement "having sex" with my girlfriend from across the street. We were naked and touching each other and it was mysterious and not allowed, so we'd sneak off to do it. I'm not at all surprised kids might do this at school, sneaking into the toilets or even under the tables, etc.</p> <p>That said, I do think I had a nanny at the time who watched porn (in my memory they were called "soap operas" but they were probably too explicit for that), so that might have been part of my extra knowledge/confusion/interest...Something like this might be going on with the kids, an older sibling with magazines, etc. But even prime time TV is pretty racy now!</p> <p>SO not the teacher's fault! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kindergartners-caught-having-sex-at-school#post-1450811 Wed, 26 Feb 2014 11:54:45 +0000 meganmp 1450811@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That article is infuriating to me. To call into question the teacher, who seems to have done her very best? In my normal classroom, when we're NOT having MAPS testing, it's difficult to keep track of my 28 children. I challenge the author of that article to keep track of a bunch of 5 and 6 year olds, and not notice if one sneaks into the bathroom when she's turned around dealing with one crisis or another.</p> <p>I also think that it's likely that they were not engaged in actual intercourse, but rather their interpretation of what they think sex might be. I'm not sure that it's an abuse issue, either- sex is not the word an abuser is likely to use. I wouldn't rule it out, of course, and I would investigate the situation further, but I wouldn't jump immediately to the conclusion that it is definitely abuse. </p> <p>Ugh, I'm still mad at how they're calling for the teacher's head on a platter. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kindergartners-caught-having-sex-at-school#post-1450796 Wed, 26 Feb 2014 11:51:17 +0000 Mrs. Blue 1450796@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MsLipGloss: agreed. </p> <p>I think this article is messed up in that it focuses all about how the teacher messed up, we're trusting them to watch our kids, etc. and never addresses how two 5 year olds know enough about "having sex" to take their clothes off and do whatever they were doing. I can almost guarantee they didn't learn it from the teacher...</p> <p>ETA: I realize sex is everywhere and I'm not saying they have to be from an abusive home or anything, but I think it's unfair to put all the responsibility on the teacher. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kindergartners-caught-having-sex-at-school#post-1450771 Wed, 26 Feb 2014 11:45:45 +0000 badwolf 1450771@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>one thing to keep in mind is that it is actually very developmentally normal for children that age to be curious about each other and to explore each other's bodies. it does not necessarily indicate sexual abuse. this is definitely a time for parents to talk to their kids about being respectful of each other, but taking clothes off is actually not a guarantee of sexual abuse. as for the "having sex" part, they are clearly much too young to actually have sex - their body parts are not developed enough to allow for an erection, etc. My guess would be that they overheard the phrase from someone else - an older kid on the bus, the TV, a parent, someone on the street - and parroted it back without knowing what they were saying. just my two cents' worth as a therapist! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kindergartners-caught-having-sex-at-school#post-1450382 Wed, 26 Feb 2014 10:29:15 +0000 mrsjyw 1450382@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: agree 100%</p> <p>:O </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kindergartners-caught-having-sex-at-school#post-1450374 Wed, 26 Feb 2014 10:26:14 +0000 wonderstruck 1450374@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>And just wanted to add that unfortunately I wouldn't assume that they just got naked. I mean, I doubt they're even physically capable of really having sex, but most sexual abuse victims will tell you they definitely had a clearer idea of what sex meant than just getting naked. So if one of these kids has been abused, which I hope to God is not the case, I doubt it was just getting naked.</p> <p>And for those questioning the teacher should read his article: <a href="http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/kids-5-found-naked-school-bathroom-teacher-canned-article-1.1699249" rel="nofollow">http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/kids-5-found-naked-school-bathroom-teacher-canned-article-1.1699249</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kindergartners-caught-having-sex-at-school#post-1450341 Wed, 26 Feb 2014 10:15:13 +0000 chopsuey 1450341@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>OMG!<br /> I hope they thought having sex just meant getting naked. :shocked: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kindergartners-caught-having-sex-at-school#post-1450333 Wed, 26 Feb 2014 10:13:24 +0000 blackbird 1450333@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My first thought is that something is going on at home :( </p> <p>But....yeah they could just hear sex or see it on tv in the bathroom on a tv show and say "we're having sex!" but not know what it is. So scary. Makes me think that we'll have to have this talk earlier than i expect to. I mean...I was in 4th grade. I don't think that's early enough nowadays </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kindergartners-caught-having-sex-at-school#post-1450308 Wed, 26 Feb 2014 10:05:16 +0000 looch 1450308@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wish I could find a link to a book that my mother in law has, it's about how babies are made and it is rather explicit, but made for children. My niece, who is a year older than my son, knows exactly what sex is, but it was learned in exactly the way I hope to teach my son.</p> <p>I realize I can't protect him from everything, but what I can control is the way in which he learns things. I just hope I can get out in front while I can. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kindergartners-caught-having-sex-at-school#post-1450303 Wed, 26 Feb 2014 10:03:19 +0000 CupQuakeWalk 1450303@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: yes. *shudder* I am going to look for a large glass box to keep my child in until he's 18. Not kidding. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kindergartners-caught-having-sex-at-school#post-1450301 Wed, 26 Feb 2014 10:02:33 +0000 CupQuakeWalk 1450301@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is not the teacher's fault. This brings concerns up that are bigger than her. I makes me sad to think that at least 1 child in this pair is experiencing sexual abuse in any way at home (abuse includes being forced to watch it or talk about it against their will). I feel SICK to my stomach that children that age even know about sex :( breaks my heart:( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kindergartners-caught-having-sex-at-school#post-1450294 Wed, 26 Feb 2014 09:59:22 +0000 theotherstark 1450294@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: Agreed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kindergartners-caught-having-sex-at-school#post-1450289 Wed, 26 Feb 2014 09:57:20 +0000 rattles 1450289@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: Exactly! It's in commercials, in music, in print ads, etc. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kindergartners-caught-having-sex-at-school#post-1450286 Wed, 26 Feb 2014 09:56:41 +0000 rattles 1450286@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have mixed feelings about this. I don't think the kids had to know what sex was to know that it involved nudity; that much is present throughout our society. I do think the parents at least need to evaluate the things to which their kids are exposed. I would look into abuse, but I also don't think that's the language most abusers use with kids of that age. I also don't think the teacher should lose her job, but I'm glad for the sake of the students that the board will look into what's gone on. I guess overall I just didn't find the actual behavior as shocking as the headlines made it sound? That's a normal age for playing doctor and other curiosities about their own bodies and the bodies of others. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kindergartners-caught-having-sex-at-school#post-1450278 Wed, 26 Feb 2014 09:54:52 +0000 littlek 1450278@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: agree. Sex is everywhere nowadays. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kindergartners-caught-having-sex-at-school#post-1450275 Wed, 26 Feb 2014 09:53:48 +0000 looch 1450275@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Regardless of what's actually going on, I think a lesson we can all take away from this is that kids are sponges, while it might seem like they're not paying attention, they might be! So, let's consider the songs on the radio in the car, what's on the TV in the background, what magazines, etc we leave out, what we TALK about. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kindergartners-caught-having-sex-at-school#post-1450273 Wed, 26 Feb 2014 09:53:23 +0000 theotherstark 1450273@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Bookish: Agreed - it is so disturbing and heartbreaking :( I think the teacher did as much as possible - she found them in the bathroom, and she reported the incident immediately. </p> <p>I mean, I can't imagine that they were actually having sex, but it is still super disturbing. I hope the authorities fully investigate what is going on at home... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kindergartners-caught-having-sex-at-school#post-1450271 Wed, 26 Feb 2014 09:52:52 +0000 snowjewelz 1450271@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I feel bad for the teacher; I don't think she needed to be fired over this unless all evidence point to neglect. It's terrifying that 5 yr olds know that being naked w/ each other mean sex! They shouldn't know ANYTHING! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/kindergartners-caught-having-sex-at-school#post-1450267 Wed, 26 Feb 2014 09:50:48 +0000 MsLipGloss 1450267@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@yellowbird: @BananaPancakes: @wonderstruck: @littlek: It truly, truly breaks my heart to think that either one of those LOs is/are being hurt at home. </p>