https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 12 Apr 2026 16:42:10 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/leaving-kid-with-grandparents-for-the-first-time#post-2261934 Wed, 12 Aug 2015 15:35:58 +0000 LuLu Mom 2261934@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I feel like these things are usually harder on the parent than the child. Activities will wipe her out and cause her to be sleepy and children usually adjust pretty quickly to these kinds of changes, mine LOVE grandma's house. I agree with PP, as parents I think it's a choice how much we intervene with our child's routine, you might be surprised how quickly they adapt to a new environment when forced too. </p> <p>Also, I just read your mom is/was a kindergarten teacher she knows how to handle meltdowns/children I would go and have fun and try not to worry she's got it handled. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/leaving-kid-with-grandparents-for-the-first-time#post-2261854 Wed, 12 Aug 2015 13:51:40 +0000 JoyfulKiwi 2261854@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My parents took my son for 5 days/4 nights when he was 2.5 &amp; I had some of your same concerns. I realized I couldn't control the schedule or environmental situations, but I worried he would have constant meltdowns &amp; everyone would be miserable. And, yeah, he had a few tantrums from all the change but it was fine in the end. He ultimately had a great time and so did my parents, although they were tired! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/leaving-kid-with-grandparents-for-the-first-time#post-2261432 Wed, 12 Aug 2015 06:33:56 +0000 looch 2261432@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Carrot: Yes, you're right, it is a lot at the same time. I did something similar with my son when he was a bit younger, we moved internationally and my son, who had never spent a night away from us, stayed with my inlaws while we packed the apartment one weekend. I worried about everything, my FIL watching TV with the volume up, my son needing blackout curtains for his nap, you name it. In the end, he was fine and it was barely a blip on the radar. But it forced me to think about how we intervened and created his environment. There comes a point where it is no longer beneficial and that point varies.</p> <p>But my point is/was that we all make accomodations for things around us that irritate us. For example, if the volume on the radio is too loud, we turn it down. If we are cold, we put on a sweater. These are coping mechanisms that every person does, some better than others. Every one of us has "sensory issues" that cause us to tweak our environment. It's not limited to people that are not well functioning. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/leaving-kid-with-grandparents-for-the-first-time#post-2261266 Tue, 11 Aug 2015 20:00:07 +0000 Bluebonnet 2261266@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Carrot: Don't worry. Your mom clearly knows what she's doing and if LO starts melting down becasuse of overstimulation, I'm sure your mom will adjust plans accordingly. LO will have a great time! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/leaving-kid-with-grandparents-for-the-first-time#post-2261253 Tue, 11 Aug 2015 19:33:16 +0000 jetsa 2261253@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>She'll be fine . It sounds like your mom has plenty of experience with kids and I bet your daughter behaves better for her when you are t there. They'll all figure it out and I bet they won't even tell you if she's a terror. They'll just love that they got to spend 2 uninterrupted days with her </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/leaving-kid-with-grandparents-for-the-first-time#post-2261196 Tue, 11 Aug 2015 18:01:22 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2261196@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: I generally agree but I think it depends on age and circumstances. My kid is 2 and is generally well functioning. I think our accommodations are reasonable based on my research (no TV before bed, dimmer lights, quieter activities). We don't de-sensitize her environment by any means but we make some accommodations that are general wisdom. And because she's just 2, her ability to handle stimulus is still developing. It's also a more stressful time overall, with big changes in her routine, but not anything I would consider out of the ordinary. This particular situation is just potential for a lot all at the same time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/leaving-kid-with-grandparents-for-the-first-time#post-2261183 Tue, 11 Aug 2015 17:43:33 +0000 catomd00 2261183@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I worried sooo much about DDs first overnight at grandmas house (16 months) and it was not worth the stress. She has a blast and was even more well behaved than she is at home! She slept awesome and didn't throw any fits that were typical around that time for her. Just equip your mom with some suggestions in case she is upset but she likely will do better than you think. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/leaving-kid-with-grandparents-for-the-first-time#post-2261158 Tue, 11 Aug 2015 16:30:37 +0000 looch 2261158@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think there does come a point where you have to look at your kid and determine if you are making too many accommodations to keep them from being overstimulated. I know I was doing that with my son and it made the situation worse, especially in a preschool setting. I wasn't giving him the tools to cope, I was instead controlling the environment. We now take him to an occupational therapist to help him grow his toolbox. He thinks it is a playgroup.<br /> In this case, I would tell your mom that this is the situation with your child and then back away and let her deal with it. My dad was resistant to my son's schedule until he had to deal with it and now he understands. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/leaving-kid-with-grandparents-for-the-first-time#post-2261139 Tue, 11 Aug 2015 15:58:59 +0000 gingerbebe 2261139@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think you can control what they do with her in terms of all the activities and what not. But I think the important thing is that they make a space for her to rest and recharge in. Dimmed curtains, things from her bed at home, make it cool, white noise, that sort of thing. I've shared in the past about my son's overstimulation issues and staying on schedule. He has some flexibility (for an 11 month old) but same thing - can't be too overwhelmed with new things or he gets really difficult. We always make sure the grandparents create a quiet space for DS and remind them that if he's freaking out and melting down, sensory deprivation is the best way to get him to settle. Sometimes, just laying in his crib with his lovey and rolling around and screeching is the best way to get him to settle down even if he sounds like he's upset. And his nightly bath is a ritual we have to do because it relaxes him so much and helps him wind down for bed. I would ask your parents to try and make things a little slower and quieter around her bedtime. Your dad can still watch the evening news later at night after she's in bed you know? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/leaving-kid-with-grandparents-for-the-first-time#post-2261132 Tue, 11 Aug 2015 15:46:42 +0000 Raindrop 2261132@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Carrot: Oh very interesting! I'm sure it will be fine! Haha.</p> <p>They love her, I'm sure they will understand. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/leaving-kid-with-grandparents-for-the-first-time#post-2261130 Tue, 11 Aug 2015 15:44:27 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2261130@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Raindrop: Oh I don't mind the spoiling at all, I'm worried that she'll be a terror. My mom raised 2 kids and is a kindergarten teacher, so she can handle anything, but I don't want them to have a bad experience with LO because she's too overwhelmed with all the changes/new-ness around her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/leaving-kid-with-grandparents-for-the-first-time#post-2261129 Tue, 11 Aug 2015 15:42:20 +0000 Raindrop 2261129@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with PP. </p> <p>I can definitely see your concerns because I was just like you but 2 days and 2 nights aren't going to be a big deal. If anything when you get her back you might have a few tough nights getting her down and getting back to routine but everything should be back to normal within a week. </p> <p>I feel getting that help would be worth that price. :) Plus I think it's awesome that people that love her are watching her and if she gets a little spoiled ... that's okay.</p> <p>But believe me I totally know where you are coming from... it took me years to get "mellow" about stuff like this and to be honest I'm still working on it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/leaving-kid-with-grandparents-for-the-first-time#post-2261127 Tue, 11 Aug 2015 15:40:12 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2261127@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@My Only Sunshine: No, definitely no processing issues. She's just been really off the wall lately, between starting a new daycare, me starting a new job and thus not being as consistent with pickups/dropoffs as she's used to, etc. It's been taking her longer to get to sleep and harder to calm down overall. She's already on the lower end of sleep averages for the age and takes a while to settle down even without all the extra new-ness around her, so I'm overthinking how these few days may affect her. I'm probably worrying for naught. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/leaving-kid-with-grandparents-for-the-first-time#post-2261126 Tue, 11 Aug 2015 15:38:19 +0000 TiredmommaMD 2261126@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>In my experience, our child acts very differently when we are not around. She is much more flexible. If grandma forgets to do something in our routine that is important to her, she will ask for it but otherwise she has a blast doing new things. The only problem we have is grandma plans a lot of activities which take a lot of time and work to organize and then LO wants to do them again and again when she comes home to us. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/leaving-kid-with-grandparents-for-the-first-time#post-2261125 Tue, 11 Aug 2015 15:34:35 +0000 My Only Sunshine 2261125@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Carrot: I don't have specific advice, but I wanted to let you know my 20 month old daughter stayed with my parents for a week after us never having left her more than 24 hours before. I was a nervous wreck, and she had a ball. </p> <p>Unless your daughter is really having sensory processing difficulties, I think 2 days is probably fine on a "wahoo, grandparents' house!" adventure. (If she's having real sensory processing problems beyond normal toddlerhood, ignore all my advice!) </p> <p>On the plus side, my daughter is usually hard to get to go to sleep, but the active days with my parents wiped her out and she slept from 7-7 every night she was there! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/leaving-kid-with-grandparents-for-the-first-time#post-2261104 Tue, 11 Aug 2015 15:11:46 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2261104@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm likely overthinking this but since that's what I do best :)...</p> <p>LO is 27 months and over Labor Day, we're leaving her with my mom and dad for 2 days and 2 nights while hubby and I are going out of town. My mom is awesome with LO, so I have no worries there, but a few things are starting to stress me out, mostly around the fact that LO is a very easily stimulated/overstimulated kid, and we're throwing a bunch of things at her at once. </p> <p>1) She's staying at their house for the first time without a parent. She's been there before, but we only go there every 6-ish months so it might as well be new to her. And she's staying with my in-laws in the night before we drop her off at my parents (though my husband will be there with her for that night) so lots of environment shifts. </p> <p>2) It's her first time away from us for that long. We did one short overnight a few weeks ago, but my mom was at our house for that so not a lot of new stuff, really. </p> <p>3) My mom has a pretty big agenda of activities planned for them (meeting family, outings, etc). </p> <p>4) My dad is very fond of his evening news and generally having the TV on whenever he's at home. We never turn the TV on, except one of her Elmo or Barney videos here and there, and I never cared in the past when we visited, but recently, LO has been especially sensitive to stimulation so it's concerning me more than usual. </p> <p>So all that combined makes me worry that LO is going to get exceptionally overstimulated, which for her means a really hard time sleeping and even meltdowns. I definitely plan to mention to my mom that she's been extra wired lately for a variety of reasons, but any other tips to make this smoother? I'm probably worrying over nothing, but I probably wouldn't be a FTM if I didn't :) We plan to bring all her loveys and familiar objects and stuff like that but I'd love any tips beyond that. My mom doesn't really believe that overstimulation is a thing, so it's a bit of an uphill climb to make the case. </p>