https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 13 Apr 2026 17:54:16 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/leaving-kids-in-the-car-for-5-minutes-isnt-child-abuse/page/2#post-2279379 Tue, 01 Sep 2015 14:50:42 +0000 Mrs.KMM 2279379@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jacks: yeah - such an awful situation! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/leaving-kids-in-the-car-for-5-minutes-isnt-child-abuse/page/2#post-2279366 Tue, 01 Sep 2015 14:42:17 +0000 looch 2279366@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My son is almost 5, he can unbuckle his car seat, work deadbolts, basically the kid can escape from anywhere. I would never leave him unattended in a car, parked, locked, unlocked, whatever, because in the off chance something happened, I wouldn't be able to live with myself.<br /> As for everyone else and what they choose, I mind my own business. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/leaving-kids-in-the-car-for-5-minutes-isnt-child-abuse/page/2#post-2279311 Tue, 01 Sep 2015 14:02:37 +0000 Mae 2279311@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Grateful te NJ court had a bit of common sense! I am an unapologetic so-liberal-I'm-almost-socialist and generally the last to ever complain about government intrusion or the "nanny state" but this sort of thing sort of drives me crazy. </p> <p>There are a thousand decisions you make every day that affect your child's safety. You want them to be safe but you don't want to helicopter them. You want to prevent big injuries but allow them the small ones so they learn. You want them to be careful but not fearful of the world. </p> <p>I really do not think it is more dangerous to leave your kid in the car for 2 minutes in your sight on a mild day than it is to take your kid across a busy street. </p> <p>I left my kid in the car one time and it made me SO nervous. Not because I thought something would happen to her but because I was scared someone would say something to me. I had to drop a package at the post office. I had a prepaid label so I did not have to wait in line, just had to open 1 door and set it on the counter. It was pouring cold rain and I'd already dragged her into and out of several stores (she was in a convertible seat at this time so we were both just getting wet). I pulled up in front of the door and left my blinkers on, took the car keys with me, and was in and out in literally 30 seconds. But it made me so nervous the next time this situation occurred (we had a very rain spring!) I waited in my car in a parking spot until someone else pulled in and stood in the rain asking a stranger to take my package in for me so I could avoid dragging my toddler through the rain. </p> <p>I hate that my judgment point is "what will people think" vs. "what do I feel is actually safe." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/leaving-kids-in-the-car-for-5-minutes-isnt-child-abuse/page/2#post-2279273 Tue, 01 Sep 2015 13:40:23 +0000 macintosh 2279273@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I find this really interesting. As a guardian of a disabled person and a mom, I struggle with this all the time. Because of DH's wheelchair, I routinely leave him to sit in the car (which he prefers) while I run errands. I figure if I can leave him home for the same period of time, since he's somewhat independent in the chair, I should be able to leave him in the car like any adult. </p> <p>What bothers me is the concern that something could happen to him while parked, especially if I need to leave the car on for the AC or heater to run. DH's wheelchair is strapped in to the back of the van, so he wouldn't be able to get away in an emergency, but he does have a cell phone. I try to only do this when we're in a "good neighborhood".</p> <p>Now that I'm also a mom, I worry about something as small as taking the cart across the parking lot once he is strapped into the car seat. I would never leave my infant completely alone in the care (except for getting gas or in my driveway for a minute) but I have left him in there with DH. </p> <p>It's summer, so on a mild day I'll do this if he's asleep and I can roll down the windows and lock them both inside while I run into the drugstore. DH can always text me if they need something. I even left the two of them alone while I ran to Walgreens for 10 minutes once, with LO strapped in his high chair and DH feeding him a bottle. I worried the whole time, but they were fine! I believe that DH will be capable of solo parenting DS when he's a little older. When it gets cold, I'll probably continue leaving DH in the car with the heat on, but I'll take LO in with me.</p> <p>ETA: I do worry when I lock DH and LO in the car together if someone might be watching mr and disapprove. A passerby might not notice that daddy is in the back. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/leaving-kids-in-the-car-for-5-minutes-isnt-child-abuse/page/2#post-2279169 Tue, 01 Sep 2015 12:27:29 +0000 ShootingStar 2279169@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs.KMM: Yeah, that story pissed me off too. She accurately judged that the situation posed no danger to her son and left him for a short amount of time. They wasted so much time and resources on a valid parenting choice. </p> <p>And I'm not saying that anyone should leave their kids for more than a few minutes, or in a car that could easily get too hot. But if the temperature in the car is fine and the kid is happy and the car's not running and unlocked, what exactly is the danger? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/leaving-kids-in-the-car-for-5-minutes-isnt-child-abuse#post-2279167 Tue, 01 Sep 2015 12:24:59 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 2279167@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs.KMM: awful right? I'd never want to have to go through that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/leaving-kids-in-the-car-for-5-minutes-isnt-child-abuse#post-2279155 Tue, 01 Sep 2015 12:19:03 +0000 Mrs.KMM 2279155@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jacks: The story in that article just pisses me off. So a "Good Samaritan" (who is really just a judgmental busy body) caused this woman and her family tons of stress, heart ache, and expense for absolutely no reason. This mother was made to feel like she made a mistake and was a poor parent for making a (very accurate) assessment of the safety of and risks to her child. This is the perfect example to me of everything that is wrong with the fear mongering and judgmental parenting of this generation. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/leaving-kids-in-the-car-for-5-minutes-isnt-child-abuse#post-2279134 Tue, 01 Sep 2015 12:10:30 +0000 Anagram 2279134@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with the article. If weather conditions permit, leaving a child for 5 minutes in a locked car is A-OK.</p> <p>My 2 year old can't get out of her carseat alone, and neither can my infant, so I wouldn't worry about them simultaneously pushing in the brake while changing the gears to drive. I have auto start, so the car can be on and locked while I leave it.</p> <p>Having said that, generally I'm too afraid of the general public calling the police to actually do it. I have left m LO in the car in our parking garage to run back upstairs to get something I left--but I literally run and worry the whole 45 seconds that a neighbor will see the car and judge me.</p> <p>And I have already left my newborn in the car while I picked up my LO from pre-school, but I parked right by the entrance and they bring older LO to the front door for pick up, so I was near the car the whole time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/leaving-kids-in-the-car-for-5-minutes-isnt-child-abuse#post-2279104 Tue, 01 Sep 2015 12:01:41 +0000 petunia354 2279104@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrsrain: Good to know since we're in CT too! I've never left DS in the car by himself because my conscience always wins out. Not sure why I never looked up what the law says! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/leaving-kids-in-the-car-for-5-minutes-isnt-child-abuse#post-2279096 Tue, 01 Sep 2015 11:56:02 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 2279096@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@daniellemybelle: Well... some days dressing is optional. Came home to my girls in PJs at 5 pm on Sunday (was working that day and no one bothered to dress).</p> <p>Headline would be "Lazy Sunday at the Jacks' household". I can live with that! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/leaving-kids-in-the-car-for-5-minutes-isnt-child-abuse#post-2279090 Tue, 01 Sep 2015 11:54:09 +0000 daniellemybelle 2279090@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jacks: I mean, what I'm saying is maybe we should get dressed.... :) We had a cancelled playdate this morning so I skipped that item on the to do list. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/leaving-kids-in-the-car-for-5-minutes-isnt-child-abuse#post-2279088 Tue, 01 Sep 2015 11:53:12 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 2279088@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@daniellemybelle: LOL! Sounds like an unavoidable headline in that case! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/leaving-kids-in-the-car-for-5-minutes-isnt-child-abuse#post-2279083 Tue, 01 Sep 2015 11:50:35 +0000 daniellemybelle 2279083@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jacks: Oh, gosh. Maybe I should use that rule more often. I feel like there are so many headline rules I'm breaking. "Area mother escapes burglary in pajamas with naked toddler." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/leaving-kids-in-the-car-for-5-minutes-isnt-child-abuse#post-2279080 Tue, 01 Sep 2015 11:49:38 +0000 AmandaB8 2279080@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Foodnerd81: @chillybear I think at that point it's knowing your own child. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/leaving-kids-in-the-car-for-5-minutes-isnt-child-abuse#post-2279078 Tue, 01 Sep 2015 11:48:20 +0000 Chillybear 2279078@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@AmandaB8: True, but on the flip side a toddler will stay buckled because they can't undo the clips, where a five year old my decide he doesnt want to be in the car anymore and leave the car to come get you and risk walking through a busy parking lot or going into the wrong store.</p> <p>Sorry didnt mean to gang up me and Foodnerd posted at the same time </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/leaving-kids-in-the-car-for-5-minutes-isnt-child-abuse#post-2279077 Tue, 01 Sep 2015 11:48:11 +0000 Foodnerd81 2279077@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@AmandaB8: the 5 year old thing actually makes me more scared, because like you say, they could get out. What if they see something cool across the street and want to check it out? I know my 2 year old Can't get out of her car seat so can't run off. But I've never had a 5 year old or basically a kid I could totally trust to listen to me, so I don't know. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/leaving-kids-in-the-car-for-5-minutes-isnt-child-abuse#post-2279064 Tue, 01 Sep 2015 11:43:12 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 2279064@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I use the headline rule. If I do not want the headline to read , "Pediatrician leaves child in car" then I do not do it.</p> <p>Maybe it's because I'm held to a higher standard. maybe it's because of all the bad crap I see. It's not that much of a hassle to haul my babies around!</p> <p>Also this: <a href="http://www.salon.com/2014/06/03/the_day_i_left_my_son_in_the_car/" rel="nofollow">http://www.salon.com/2014/06/03/the_day_i_left_my_son_in_the_car/</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/leaving-kids-in-the-car-for-5-minutes-isnt-child-abuse#post-2279063 Tue, 01 Sep 2015 11:43:10 +0000 Foodnerd81 2279063@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I tend to agree with everyone who said there are things they feel are safe, but they won't do because of fear or judgment or having the police called. Even in my building garage, which is climate controlled, I'm afraid to leave my toddler strapped in the car if I forget something and have to run back upstairs to get it. But she cannot get out of her car seat- so technically she's more likely to hurt herself while I take a shower and can't hear her. </p> <p>I also agree that people underestimate how quickly and hot how hot a car heats up on what feels like a not very hot day, so I think all the hype over this type of thing in general is a good thing. But being labelled a child abuser because you left your kid sleeping in the car while you picked up takeout isn't right. </p> <p>Also, if I saw a car with a kid alone it in, I would probably stand by it and watch the kid until I saw someone come out. I wouldn't necessarily be judging the parent (unless they were gone a super long time) but I'd feel better knowing they came back and the kid was fine. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/leaving-kids-in-the-car-for-5-minutes-isnt-child-abuse#post-2279061 Tue, 01 Sep 2015 11:41:07 +0000 AmandaB8 2279061@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Also - I think there's a difference between leaving a toddler in the car and leaving a 5 year old who can unbuckle and get out if something were to happen. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/leaving-kids-in-the-car-for-5-minutes-isnt-child-abuse#post-2279049 Tue, 01 Sep 2015 11:32:17 +0000 daniellemybelle 2279049@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Chillybear: That's a good idea. I have left my sleeping LO in the car (running &amp; doors locked) parked in the spot directly in front of the UPS door to drop off a package. It did genuinely take about 2 minutes because it was pre-labeled. I just had to drop it off. While I don't feel like it was "bad," I bet I could have called and asked them to just run out. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/leaving-kids-in-the-car-for-5-minutes-isnt-child-abuse#post-2278944 Tue, 01 Sep 2015 10:34:20 +0000 Maysprout 2278944@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't do it but think it is ridiculous how much trouble people can get in for a quick trip on a cool day.<br /> But . . . I feel like this came up bc of that shopping cart mom in Arizona. I can sort of understand the shopping cart part but leaving 3 other kids in the car on a hot hot day, even if you plan on just 5 minutes, is a really, really bad idea. </p> <p>Sure it's going to be fine most of the time but there's so many ways for it to go wrong and on that hot of a day it doesn't take long. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/leaving-kids-in-the-car-for-5-minutes-isnt-child-abuse#post-2278941 Tue, 01 Sep 2015 10:32:46 +0000 Chillybear 2278941@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>While i do think it shouldnt be illegal to leave your kid in the car while running a quick errand there is a lot you can do to minimize the need to leave them in the car. My own personal threshold is if the errand requires me to go indoors I tend to take LO with me- ATM, Mail/library book drop off, gas station all a-ok with me because I am only feet from my car. </p> <p>There are so many drive thrus, services and generally nice people in my area that I have no problem calling a (small) business and just saying this is what I need to get, I have a sleeping child can I pay over the phone and have you run it out to me. I have yet to have anyone say no, at worst they say "no problem but can you give me 20 minutes" or "I'll call you back with the total." I have to drop my dog at the vet for surgery tomorrow when they called to confirm I told them I'm coming over with my 70lb dog and my toddler while we get him checked in can a tech come out and sit with my toddler for a few minutes not to have to bring her in and they were more than agreeable. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/leaving-kids-in-the-car-for-5-minutes-isnt-child-abuse#post-2278917 Tue, 01 Sep 2015 10:18:35 +0000 winniebee 2278917@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think running into an ATM at a gas station where you can see your car the whole time is endangering your kid's life or should be illegal....but I don't do it anymore b/c a local woman was reported for this and arrested. MYOB in my opinion. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/leaving-kids-in-the-car-for-5-minutes-isnt-child-abuse#post-2278909 Tue, 01 Sep 2015 10:15:04 +0000 lovehoneybee 2278909@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I might leave E in the car to run to an ATM, but probably not otherwise, even if I know it'll be a super quick trip where he'll be in eye-sight the whole time (like paying for gas in a store). I personally don't have much of a problem with doing it, but I'm paranoid someone will see him and call the police on me.</p> <p>My parents used to leave me in the car all the time, though, even for longer grocery trips. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/leaving-kids-in-the-car-for-5-minutes-isnt-child-abuse#post-2278903 Tue, 01 Sep 2015 10:13:05 +0000 Corduroy 2278903@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think this is a step in the right direction. The standard for parenting has been moving toward pressure to watch your children more and more - up to 100% of the time. It does not ensure safety and it doesn't seem to be doing good things for society. What a relief to hear that in NJ you might not be prosecuted for leaving your kid alone for a few minutes safelty in a car. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/leaving-kids-in-the-car-for-5-minutes-isnt-child-abuse#post-2278901 Tue, 01 Sep 2015 10:12:20 +0000 Rockies11 2278901@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I leave my kids in the car for pit stop type errands - I use the auto lock, and auto start so the AC or heat is on if there's any type of weather. I think leaving kids in the car is more normal here though. A couple of times every winter a running car with the keys in it and the doors unlocked and a kid in the back of it gets stolen. The kids are always okay because the theives abandon the kids or car. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/leaving-kids-in-the-car-for-5-minutes-isnt-child-abuse#post-2278899 Tue, 01 Sep 2015 10:10:44 +0000 mrs.shinerbock 2278899@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think this is a very good step by the state. Circumstances need to be taken into account before they slap someone with a criminal record that will affect them for the rest of their lives. There is a huge difference between leaving the car running on a cool day while you pick up the dry cleaning and leaving your young kid in the car on a 95 degree day while you go shop at the mall. Parents should have some discretion in making risk assessments and decisions for their own children. </p> <p>I personally have left my sleeping infant in the car while I got cash at the ATM, paid for my gas and picked up take-out. I have my own set of guidelines and I believe that she will be safe for the 5 min it takes me to run that errand. And like @catomd00: said- I shower while she (now almost 2) plays unsupervised and someone could break into my house while I do that. And I leave her sleeping in her crib while I check the mail and take the trash out with no monitor. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/leaving-kids-in-the-car-for-5-minutes-isnt-child-abuse#post-2278896 Tue, 01 Sep 2015 10:08:55 +0000 Truth Bombs 2278896@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I never leave my LO unattended in the car. I think the amount of hot car deaths prove that while you may think YOUR judgement as a parent is sufficient, some people's judgement as a parent isn't, therefore, there need to be regluations put in place. My convenience is never more important than my child's safety. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/leaving-kids-in-the-car-for-5-minutes-isnt-child-abuse#post-2278876 Tue, 01 Sep 2015 09:56:41 +0000 Pancakes 2278876@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@jlm22: I know, everyone has their own comfort levels and that's fine! I am more worried about someone calling the police or CPS than someone abducting them...so this kind of ruling is a relief to me. If my kids are buckled in their car seats I don't think they can do anything while I go in and get my dry cleaning (where I can see the car from the store window), but I wouldn't leave them in the car for just any errand (going into Target, etc). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/leaving-kids-in-the-car-for-5-minutes-isnt-child-abuse#post-2278872 Tue, 01 Sep 2015 09:53:41 +0000 Mrs.KMM 2278872@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So happy to see this! People have gotten very ridiculous in this current generation about trying to dictate how other people parent their kids. In actuality, there is really nothing unsafe about leaving your kid buckled in in the car on a cool day while you run into the gas station to pay or use an ATM. </p> <p> I have left my infant DD in the car in the garage while I unload groceries and such. She is perfectly safe and if I'm going to wake her up by moving her, I would rather wait until the other things are inside. </p> <p> That said, I have been afraid to do something like that out in public. Not because of DD's safety, but because of the judgment from other people and the risk that somebody would call the cops on me. </p>