https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 02 May 2026 05:20:24 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/leaving-work-at-work#post-1674628 Tue, 03 Jun 2014 08:22:01 +0000 snowjewelz 1674628@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would struggle with it if it were my old job, but I don't love my job now all that much so I have no problem leaving work at work! now! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/leaving-work-at-work#post-1674588 Tue, 03 Jun 2014 08:12:49 +0000 megjay18 1674588@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i struggle with this as well. my son is 18 months old and i started a new job about 2 months ago. i thought the new job's workload would be manageable, but it is INSANE. i can't stay late at the office to finish everything since i'm the after-work daycare picker-upper, so i constantly feel guilty that i'm leaving "early" (even though, technically it's on time). i turn off work when i get home until my son goes to bed and then i usually work more until i go to bed. i'm hoping the workload goes down soon (it's a very busy season for us right now) so i can better manage home life too! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/leaving-work-at-work#post-1632617 Tue, 13 May 2014 21:25:49 +0000 creativemomma15 1632617@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks ladies! :heart: You guys are awesome and I am glad I am not alone in the struggle! </p> <p>@Lindsay05: I love this answer! It's definitely a hard balance!<br /> @MrsMcD: @danda: I think you have a point with as you get more experienced. I am in a new role since I came back from maternity leave and have taken on a lot rather quickly. I think once I feel more comfortable &amp; confident that will help too.<br /> @BakerBee: I like your rocking chair analogy! I can get worried about many things so easily so I like this visual of acting on it or moving on!<br /> @meganmp: So hard to let go sometimes, isn't it!?!<br /> @hotchildinthecity: I am going to be able to do some work from home soon… Just waiting on getting my work laptop delivered and set up. I think this will definitely help!<br /> @Mrs Green Grass: I think part of the stress is the emotional part. I am part of the administration at a daycare and I work a lot with the parents. It can be really hard to let go of the emotional side of working with them on different things!<br /> @blackbird: I have emailed a few things to myself too! I am only in the office 2 days a week so sometimes it is harder for me to let go when I won't be in for a few days!<br /> @Silva: I don't think you're crazy! I like your ideas! I have a 25 minute commute so I can definitely take that time to try to focus and let go. This morning I tried to take some time to pray and focus my day a little. I know that when I focus on praying and that connection in the morning it definitely helps me feel better prepared and get through the day more easily, and again on the way home as well! I can definitely see that you have to protect yourself with some of those stressful, emotionally draining jobs! @babyjmama: Thanks for the love and advice! Our evenings can get so busy and I definitely want to be able to focus my attention on the kids and DH instead of feeling like I am distracted… Thank you for the reminder to soak in all the family time I can. I don't want them to remember me as a distracted mama!<br /> @MamaCate: I like the practical ideas! I am trying to remember to send myself emails with the things I think of now and being conscious to let them go after I email myself the reminder.<br /> @JennyD: I have definitely felt a little cell phone addicted these days! I have gotten work emails from my boss at all hours, so that makes it easy to feel like I need to be that connected as well. I know she doesn't expect that but it is easy to feel like I should be just as timely with responses. I need to get better with intentionally setting my phone away so I don't just check it all the time! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/leaving-work-at-work#post-1631087 Tue, 13 May 2014 10:53:20 +0000 blackbird 1631087@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Silva, I think that's so important and I like your visualization techniques. I've used one that my husband taught me (that he learned from his doctor) about anxiety and worry (particularly since he was deployed, so he needed some coping mechanisms once he got back) regarding putting all your thoughts and concerns in a little box with a lock. One could easily do the same with work stuff. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/leaving-work-at-work#post-1630295 Mon, 12 May 2014 22:09:46 +0000 JennyD 1630295@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yeah, I have a really hard time with this too. A few things have helped me in the last 18 months that I've been back. I realized I have a terrible addiction to my blackberry and work email after hours. It did eventually occur to me that my clients and coworkers would probably like to be left alone in the evenings too. And the cell phone addiction came up as a safety moment at one of our weekly company meetings. Our president said he expected people to go home and be home, and put the phone down. So that takes some of the pressure off. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/leaving-work-at-work#post-1630253 Mon, 12 May 2014 21:53:39 +0000 MamaCate 1630253@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Silva: I love this! As a fellow social worker, I totally get what you mean and am going to try to be more intentional about using a "shield" like that!</p> <p>@creativemomma15: when there are little things I remember on the way home, I sometimes send myself an email or call and leave myself a voicemail. Then I know it's "noted" in some way for the next day and I can leave it alone. I also think that time makes it easier to leave work at work but that is my practical advice! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/leaving-work-at-work#post-1630215 Mon, 12 May 2014 21:32:22 +0000 doodlepoodle 1630215@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Silva: HAHA omg I'm cracking up because I &lt;3 your description. I love the idea of that though, I think I may give it a shot! </p> <p>I've always been very emotionally invested in my work. I'm there more waking hours than I am at home and I've been lucky that at my two professional jobs I've had very close work friends. When I'm not doing my best, I feel like I've let them down, so when I get home and don't feel like I put forth 100%, I have guilt and feel like I need to make things up. </p> <p>My wake-up call was when I went back to work early from maternity leave (there was a crazy situation that left our 5 person department down to one person &amp; an unpaid, part-time intern) so I went back early because I felt emotionally invested. Our upper management never once asked me if it was something I felt comfortable doing, never thanked me, they just took me off FMLA status and went on. I didn't expect a cookie or anything like that (I'd have accepted!) but I realized then just how little THEY cared about ME. I got really good at dropping my shiz at 5. Not to say I never check email or put together a to-do list of things I may have forgotten, but work is work. Jobs come and go. Your family is forever. Each day is precious. </p> <p>I'm a corn ball but in the evenings I just try to soak up as much J as I can. There are a million things going on at work that stress me out but I have to remind myself that he's my #1 job. :) </p> <p>I'm sorry I don't have great advice. Some weeks are harder than others. Much love! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/leaving-work-at-work#post-1630200 Mon, 12 May 2014 21:24:11 +0000 Silva 1630200@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've worked some extremely emotionally draining jobs. The best thing I ever did, When things got tough, was to implement a pre and post work routine that involved visualization. It sounds cheesy, but before work I'd spend some time (while getting dressed, on the drive, whenever you have a minute to take a breath and focus a little) visualizing a "force field" - a golden light (you should find your own image- water, silver, green, whatever comes to you and feels like it holds meaning). This comes from within you and protects the "self" part of you from the damages that stress, work, etc. can bring to us. It collects those things when they fly at us, holding them so that we can deal with them, but not allowing them to penetrate the self. At the end of the day I would roll my window down and literally "brush" my skin off with my hand, and shake it out the window like a bug. </p> <p>I realize this makes me sound totally crazy but I've worked with various kinds of trauma/interpersonal violence for 10 years now and have managed to avoid being traumatized myself, in part, I think, because I've always taken separating work/home as vital and very serious. </p> <p>I guess my point is, that you have to do something to distance yourself. When you leave, or when you first get home, there has to be something you do every day, routinely, that signifies to your brain that now you are home, the fragile self can come out, etc. a glass of wine is common and totally great, assuming you don't have any issues with alcohol/substances. I always cleaned my desk before I left, even if that meant shoving stuff in a drawer, and kept detailed to do lists. But the "at home" you, the self, requires protection. When I worked a particularly difficult job I always showered when I got home, and visualized all the junk that my shield had collected just washing down the drain.</p> <p>Again, sorry I sound totally bananas. I swear I'm not covered in crystals and sniffing essential oils as I write this. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/leaving-work-at-work#post-1630072 Mon, 12 May 2014 20:40:36 +0000 blackbird 1630072@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I email myself a to-do list and get to it asap. </p> <p>I figure this....(i work in manufacturing)...nobody is there assembling stuff, so nobody's going to miss the fact that I did not answer whatever before midnight. </p> <p>Nothing is that important. Truly :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/leaving-work-at-work#post-1629993 Mon, 12 May 2014 20:00:36 +0000 danda 1629993@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with @MrsMcD: nearly everything is "small stuff" that I once would have worried about. Also though, I think when I was less experienced I was more worried about being perfect because I was less confident and I was building a name for myself. Now I know what people will/will not pay attention to. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/leaving-work-at-work#post-1629720 Mon, 12 May 2014 16:40:28 +0000 Mrs Green Grass 1629720@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have actually felt such a freedom with leaving work at work since I became a mom. It's taken most of a year to be okay with it, but I just refuse to do it. (I'm mostly talking "work" though - emotional stuff is hard to let go of... For me, I need to talk it out to be able to move on.) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/leaving-work-at-work#post-1629715 Mon, 12 May 2014 16:36:51 +0000 deactivated_account 1629715@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@creativemomma15: It took me years to be able to leave work at work. I needed to take a relaxing route home and blast the music. I also used to need a glass of wine to unclench my jaw. (No joke.) But now that I'm more experienced at my work, I stress less about what I now know are "small issues". I'm totally able to leave 90% of my work at work now. It just took me about 6 years to do so. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/leaving-work-at-work#post-1629713 Mon, 12 May 2014 16:35:05 +0000 hotchildinthecity 1629713@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Can you log on from home/work remotely? Sometimes if something is bugging me and i can just take a few minutes and get it done, it makes me feel better.</p> <p>Otherwise, i just say it can get taken care of in the morning! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/leaving-work-at-work#post-1629697 Mon, 12 May 2014 16:28:10 +0000 meganmp 1629697@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It kills me! I do it all the time. I spent the entire weekend being annoyed about the testing we have to do over the next few weeks... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/leaving-work-at-work#post-1629633 Mon, 12 May 2014 16:05:49 +0000 LBee 1629633@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I totally know the feeling. I usually just tell myself that I need to let it go (easier said than done) unless it's an item that is time sensitive. For example, if I had an envelope sitting on my desk with a check that needed to go out and I forgot to take it to the post office, then I would probably go back to work and deal with it. If it's just stuff that I wished I had gotten done - for instance last week I forgot to call a client back and remembered when eating dinner with my husband that night - I just have to tell myself that I am human and that the client will still be just as receptive to the call the next day. </p> <p>For me, it's all about making sure my worry doesn't become a rocking chair. I either need to act on it or move on. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/leaving-work-at-work#post-1629617 Mon, 12 May 2014 16:01:09 +0000 Lindsay05 1629617@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's hard leaving work at work. Maybe others can give you some advice ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/leaving-work-at-work#post-1622500 Thu, 08 May 2014 19:26:57 +0000 creativemomma15 1622500@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had a rough day and have remembered a few things I should have finished up before I left but I was in a rush to pick up the kids. I can't let go of it for some reason and it is just bugging me all evening. </p> <p>Do you have a hard time leaving work at work? Any tips to make the transition to being home and fully present easier? </p>