https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 19 Apr 2026 00:09:12 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lets-play-fix-the-us-child-policies/page/2#post-461248 Fri, 21 Dec 2012 23:49:22 +0000 sunny 461248@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd also implement a longer maternity leave. I think it's ridiculous to expect a new mamma of 6 weeks to return to work. I was barely able to get out of bed at 4 weeks... I barely got into a routine at 6 weeks. I would be in favor of a 5 month guaranteed maternity leave paid for by EI and would love to see companies offer longer leaves of 1 year. I'd even support a mandatory return to work with penalty if they gave 1 year off if women quitting was a big concern (eg. Must work 1 month for every month of paid maternity)</p> <p>I'd also add some law to make all newly built offices over a certain sqft and malls to build a nursing moms room. This would be in addition to the existing laws around providing women a space to pump that is not a bathroom. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lets-play-fix-the-us-child-policies/page/2#post-461075 Fri, 21 Dec 2012 21:12:17 +0000 Grace 461075@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: About men taking advantage of their parental leave: at my company it happens enough that no one blinks an eye. Usually it's been that the dad will take the last 3 months. That way mom can breastfeed easier, it's an easier transition to daycare (for mom, because their LO is with their dad, not a stranger and not getting sick right away) and it gives dad a chance to be the primary caregiver.</p> <p>When I think of my friends that decided to quit after 2 kids when they would have had more, the reason is that daycare is expensive. So I think that if they do want to increase the birth rate, addressing child care costs would be key. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lets-play-fix-the-us-child-policies/page/2#post-460986 Fri, 21 Dec 2012 20:19:02 +0000 sera_87 460986@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@prettylizy: not quite true: for regular EI ou need to work 900 hours and how long you're on it is calculated for the average length of unemployment in your area. So if I were on reg EI, I'd only get something like 40weeks instead of 52. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lets-play-fix-the-us-child-policies/page/2#post-457018 Wed, 19 Dec 2012 21:03:40 +0000 prettylizy 457018@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@jedeve: No, there is no exemption based on the size of the company. Anyone that is gainfully employed for at least 6 months prior to the birth of their child that pays into our Employment Insurance program qualifies for mat leave. Self employed people are exempt from paying into our EI system, so they in turn cannot collect Mat leave.</p> <p>Our maternity leave is paid for not by the company but by EI. You receive essentially the same benefit you would receive if you became unemployed, which works out to 55% of your gross income up to a max income of $40something thousand per year. Some companies choose to 'top up' your mat leave, some dont (mine doesn't). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lets-play-fix-the-us-child-policies/page/2#post-456293 Wed, 19 Dec 2012 16:32:37 +0000 mrbee 456293@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@caffeinated: I think there's a big dropoff in most countries, unless their overall policies promote parenthood. Sweden does a great job:</p> <p><a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2010/06/10/world/europe/10iht-sweden.html?pagewanted=all" rel="nofollow">http://www.nytimes.com/2010/06/10/world/europe/10iht-sweden.html?pagewanted=all</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lets-play-fix-the-us-child-policies/page/2#post-456276 Wed, 19 Dec 2012 16:26:44 +0000 Freckles 456276@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: hmm, interesting. i wonder if it would be different if mat leaves were longer? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lets-play-fix-the-us-child-policies/page/2#post-456267 Wed, 19 Dec 2012 16:24:11 +0000 mrbee 456267@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@caffeinated: I've talked to lots of employers that have trouble retaining new moms post maternity leave! Haven't heard of problems retaining single young ambitious men, but that could definitely be an issue too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lets-play-fix-the-us-child-policies#post-456244 Wed, 19 Dec 2012 16:18:30 +0000 Freckles 456244@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bebefly: i am aware of what you need for EI, but does the 600 hours also apply to the protection of your job? I cannot recall. I know that to get the company's benefits, you have to meet the company's requirements (in my case it was 6 months on the job).</p> <p>@jedeve: I totally understand! I know a lot of people who look for other jobs while on mat leave because they are unhappy at their job, but that was not the case for me. The fact that my boss promoted me to a pretty senior position just before going on. T leave proved that they really look at the long term and i plan on sticking around for quite some time!</p> <p>@mrbee: I guess i could say i have been burned by single young ambitious men who left for a better job only after a week on the job! ;) so when you say new moms quitting on short notice, is this after they come back to work so they can be a sahm?</p> <p>I do think the US should have extended mat leave to 3-6 months. It doesnt have to be paid per se, but treated as unemployment benefits like in Canada. I was barely functioning at the 6 week mark...if i were in the US, i would probably decide to be a sahm, or give up breastfeeding. It would just be too hard. Also, think about the time you have to take off work because your 6 week old gets sick from something caught in daycare. I also agree with pp that it shouldnt cost the parents all this money to have a baby. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lets-play-fix-the-us-child-policies#post-455880 Wed, 19 Dec 2012 14:35:27 +0000 sera_87 455880@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@blackbird: sorry, nvmd. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lets-play-fix-the-us-child-policies#post-455866 Wed, 19 Dec 2012 14:33:23 +0000 blackbird 455866@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>All these programs sound fantastic, but funding them is always the issue :P </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lets-play-fix-the-us-child-policies#post-455843 Wed, 19 Dec 2012 14:23:40 +0000 sera_87 455843@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: it's not equal, the mother has to take the first 17 weeks. after that though (35 weeks), you can split it any way you wish.</p> <p>@jedeve: there's no small business exemption because it's federal, and WE pay into it over all our years of working. Now, the company you work for can choose to top up what is federally mandated (55% of your salary to a cap of 1800/month) any amount up to 100%, but its not required to by law. </p> <p>@caffeinated: you have to work 600 hours to be qualified for maternity leave under EI, and that goes for each child. So lets say I got pregnant now, I would give the rest of my parental leave to DH and go back to work to accumulate 600 hours, and then take EI again when the babe is born.</p> <p>I now live in Quebec, so our daycare is 7$/a day. BUT, the flip side of that is I now pay slightly higher taxes AND it's not all daycares that offer the 7$/day rate. I believe it has to do with a government grant.</p> <p>For myself: I think you guys need AT LEAST 6 months paid maternity leave, universal health care so the cost of having a baby is nil (reading about your crazy insurance stuff makes my head hurt, gotta be honest), and some sort of subsidy or reduced rate for childcare. (BUT - think of it - if you had 6 months of leave, you wouldn't be putting your 6 week old in daycare, thus bringing down the cost significantly in the first place). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lets-play-fix-the-us-child-policies#post-455829 Wed, 19 Dec 2012 14:14:59 +0000 yoursilverlining 455829@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@jedeve: I don't think we need to improve birth rates. And definitely not improve them across the board. I think we need to do more for the children already here. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lets-play-fix-the-us-child-policies#post-455794 Wed, 19 Dec 2012 13:56:41 +0000 jedeve 455794@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@prettylizy: So there's no small business exemption in Canada? I can't imagine a law like that passing in the US without a small business exemption. Interesting! </p> <p>@caffeinated: @mrbee: TBH, I didn't plan on staying at my job and prioritizing where my husband could find work (since his job is a one year contract). But my company has been SO great to me - hiring me knowing I was pregnant, re-forming the job position so it would work with when I was due, offering me 12 weeks leave, one month paid, saying I could stay part time after baby as long as I wanted and to let them know if I was interested in transitioning to full time - that we are definitely planning on staying in this town so I can work here. Not because I'll be the financial money maker, but where else would we be able to find that?! (I know everything changes post baby, but I can't see myself quitting!)</p> <p>@yoursilverlining: @mrbee: Just to play devil's advocate (because I FULLY support controlling tuition costs and an educated public) - but do you think it would help improve birth rates?</p> <p>I definitely think universal health care will have a positive impact on maternal/child health! I would have included that in my list if it wasn't already on its way. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lets-play-fix-the-us-child-policies#post-455738 Wed, 19 Dec 2012 13:35:42 +0000 mrbee 455738@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@yoursilverlining: men are in desperate need of more higher education too! They're falling behind women on a lot of metrics:<br /> <a href="http://www.nber.org/digest/jan07/w12139.html" rel="nofollow">http://www.nber.org/digest/jan07/w12139.html</a></p> <p>I support lower cost education for both genders! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lets-play-fix-the-us-child-policies#post-455728 Wed, 19 Dec 2012 13:31:21 +0000 yoursilverlining 455728@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: Not necessarily, especially for maternity leave - I should have written "parental leave" there!</p> <p>For programs like college assistance; I honestly don't know if they apply to both mothers and fathers - the only people I've known who used those programs were women. I wouldn't mind if they also covered fathers, but I think it's really important to get more women educated and working and providing for themselves. None of the women I've worked with who used that program had involved baby-daddies, so maybe my opinion is biased that way. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lets-play-fix-the-us-child-policies#post-455722 Wed, 19 Dec 2012 13:28:28 +0000 mrbee 455722@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@caffeinated: I think it's shortsighted too!!</p> <p>However I've been burned several times by new moms quitting on short notice. So now I'm not sure what's fair all around. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lets-play-fix-the-us-child-policies#post-455721 Wed, 19 Dec 2012 13:26:47 +0000 mrbee 455721@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@yoursilverlining: the financial assistance programs would only assist mothers? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lets-play-fix-the-us-child-policies#post-455707 Wed, 19 Dec 2012 13:20:14 +0000 yoursilverlining 455707@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>All of these affect either/both mothers and children, so in my opinion they count as “child policies”...</p> <p>3-6 months paid maternity leave<br /> Universal health care<br /> Across the board free breakfast provided at school (no income requirements)<br /> Expand school lunch programs (free and reduced as well as healthy, real-food options)<br /> Expanded subsidized daycare<br /> Expand programs to financially assist mothers who want to go/return to college, job train, go to technical school </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lets-play-fix-the-us-child-policies#post-455696 Wed, 19 Dec 2012 13:16:02 +0000 ladyfingers 455696@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@caffeinated: I agree that it's fair, but I don't think many business owners here -- particularly small-business owners -- are going to think it's fair that they have to go without that person or hire and train a replacement just to get rid of them eventually. I'm not saying that's the correct mentality, but it's the prevalent one. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lets-play-fix-the-us-child-policies#post-455693 Wed, 19 Dec 2012 13:14:14 +0000 Freckles 455693@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ladyfingers: in Canada, the job is protected in so far that when the parent comes back to work, it is a position that is equivalent to their previous position. Also, i believe you have to have worked for the company for x months for your job to be protected. I think that is fair. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lets-play-fix-the-us-child-policies#post-455679 Wed, 19 Dec 2012 13:08:27 +0000 Freckles 455679@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: i think it is short sighted when companies dont hire younger women or promote them because they will be going on mat leave soon. 1 year is a short sacrifice if these employees decide to stay with the company for 5-10 years. (Yes, i realize not many stay with a company for that long) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lets-play-fix-the-us-child-policies#post-455665 Wed, 19 Dec 2012 13:04:15 +0000 prettylizy 455665@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: As far as parental splitting of the parental leave in Canada, it's case by case but on the whole I would say 90% of mothers take the year. I know a few families where mom was the primary breadwinner and so she went back to work after the 'maternity' portion of the leave was finished. </p> <p>In my small office of 10 people, 3 women (including me) had babies in a span of 4 weeks and were off on maternity leave for a full year. We often joke that my boss won't hire another woman unless she proves she's gone through menopause. I don't think she is really joking all that much though, it's a big burden to hire replacement staff that often and she doesn't need to deal with that over and over. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lets-play-fix-the-us-child-policies#post-455650 Wed, 19 Dec 2012 12:59:00 +0000 mrbee 455650@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@jedeve: I know a lot of employers who are wary of hiring any employee with a newborn, both moms and dads!</p> <p>Progress? :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lets-play-fix-the-us-child-policies#post-455635 Wed, 19 Dec 2012 12:55:54 +0000 jedeve 455635@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: The solutions in that piece are really interesting. Like the not promoting based on seniority thing, which I assume is a reflection of the culture's emphasis on respecting elders.</p> <p>@ladyfingers: I totally agree! I mean, I think if you say something like "free house to everyone who pops out a baby!" then you're gonna have some issues. But having a child is tough even on a middle class family and we should make that easier. But it's not OK to say "we'll only make it easier if you are middle class, if you are poor, we should make it harder!" I think any real overhaul to how we approach it would have to include a lot of family planning education so that families are having children when they are ready. But the truth is, as a society we need people to work at lower wages (like my husband is a lawyer for the state, which means he doesn't make a ton since everyone wants to control government costs!) and have babies, so we have to accept not everyone can wait till they make 100k before having kiddos!</p> <p>Not to get off on a tangent, but I personally think part of the problem is that as a *society* we still aren't expecting that much of dads. No one says, "well I don't know if I should hire that guy - his wife is expecting. Is he going to be taking off days when the baby is sick? Is he not going to want to work overtime to spend time with the family?" If we had some of the same expectations for men and women, all the burden wouldn't be on women to prove themselves doubly in the career world at the possible expense of their families. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lets-play-fix-the-us-child-policies#post-455621 Wed, 19 Dec 2012 12:49:45 +0000 ladyfingers 455621@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mamabolt: It's so weird how many people believe that the leave factor isn't true for any woman. There are actually a lot of people I've encountered who truly believe that more protected leave laws would lead to women having children just so they can take off work. I'm like, wtf? Who would *do* that? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lets-play-fix-the-us-child-policies#post-455617 Wed, 19 Dec 2012 12:48:06 +0000 ladyfingers 455617@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@jedeve: I absolutely agree. I'm constantly appalled by the things that people will say in comments sections of articles and message boards (not this one to be sure!) when they're hiding behind an online handle. I've told DH that I'm convinced modern American culture has a built-in anti-mother and anti-child bias, and he thinks I'm crazy, but the attitude is pretty much, "Why should we pay for you to breed/accommodate you in any other way popping out children? If you want to have kids, be prepared to give up your career -- it's not our problem." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lets-play-fix-the-us-child-policies#post-455605 Wed, 19 Dec 2012 12:45:29 +0000 jedeve 455605@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@duckduckkristen: Good point. There probably should be more of a carrot than just reducing the costs of having kids, but I don't have other ideas of how to incentivize people. I don't think civic responsibility will go that far. :-)</p> <p>@ladyfingers: I know - I've been the victim of pregnancy hiring discrimination! This would probably have to go hand in hand with a larger cultural shift towards how we think about women and parents. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lets-play-fix-the-us-child-policies#post-455592 Wed, 19 Dec 2012 12:42:32 +0000 mamabolt 455592@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>For me personally, the length of my leave/how much I get paid during that leave isn't going to dictate how many children I have. It's not idea but it's not a deal-breaker. The biggest factor that could influence the number of children I have is the cost of childcare. In my area it costs about 15K a year per child, and will likely hold us to two children spaced out far enough that we don't have to pay for childcare for both of them for too many years. Some sort of subsidized childcare would make a big difference. I know others who are one and done for the same reason. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lets-play-fix-the-us-child-policies#post-455562 Wed, 19 Dec 2012 12:35:30 +0000 ladyfingers 455562@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I should add, I would fully support a federal or state-level short-term disability-type maternity program for ALL states. As it is, in most states, your employer has to offer a short-term disability program in order for you to pay into one and receive benefits. I don't think it makes any sense that it's not more widespread. You pay into it, you get a certain amount of your paycheck paid over 6 or 8 weeks. You have to pay into it for 9 months before receiving benefits. Any shortfall between what you've put in and what you get out is covered by the participants who pay for longer than 9 months, just like any insurance program. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lets-play-fix-the-us-child-policies#post-455545 Wed, 19 Dec 2012 12:32:18 +0000 ladyfingers 455545@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@jedeve: It may be illegal, but good luck proving it. Companies constantly discriminate against who they're hiring and can hide behind "not what we're looking for" any day of the week. I'd worry if we made it a law that all jobs have to be protected when the mother goes on leave, the discrimination would rise anyway. </p> <p>Not that I don't agree with you, but just want to point that out. "In a perfect world" all this stuff would be great, but we don't live in that kinda world! :(</p> <p>ETA -- also, to control the cost of childcare, you'd have to control their costs. The cost of licensing, the cost of food, the cost of power, the cost of rent, etc. I don't know how feasible something like that is, other than the licensing costs. </p>