https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 14 Apr 2026 18:44:49 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lets-talk-about-terrible-two#post-1471614 Wed, 05 Mar 2014 22:48:14 +0000 irene 1471614@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@T.H.O.U.: tonight, it was first he seemed to have a tummy ache and wanted to be held. I tried to hold him but I have to wash dishes. I put him on a chair so he was standing next to me. Still he was mommy mommy mommy the entire way. Not too bad. Just whining. </p> <p>Then, we went up to his room and normally he would play while I fold his laundry and set his bath water. Tonight he was holding onto my phone. Then I am not sure what happened he started whining/ crying. He really started out cranky though. Then I filmed him using my iphone and showed it back to him and I said, see, this is whining, and whining is not good. Mommy and daddy doesn't like whining. If you want something, you have to nicely ask for it. He was fine as long as he was watching something on the phone. But I had to stop at one point and he started going crazy. He kept saying "___ (his name), watch, ____, watch" and cried hysterically. I tried to tell him we'll watch more when we brush our teeth. Do you want to play with your trains? No he kept on crying repeating the same words and going crazy. I couldn't stand it so I left to set his bath water (which is right next to his room). I came back and he was still crying hysterically. I told him OK this is enough. I will count to 3 and you will have to stop, or mommy is going to leave the room. He did stop upon 2. Which I thought OK good. Then he dragged out this puzzle (which is very time consuming to put back together) indicating he wants to play. Since I didn't want to trigger him I say OK. He started taking the pieces out and I thought I'd help him. Once I touch one of the pieces he immediately screamed "mine! mine! mine!" then he broke down again. This time worse than before. Please note that I barely touched the puzzle. At that point, I was like OK I let you do it, please dissemble it; he just kept crying. I asked him, "I know you really want to do the puzzle and you want to dissemble the puzzle all by yourself, right?" No use. Nothing I say or do goes into him. He basically shut down into hysteria mode. So I left the room again (this time I did slam the door, because honestly, I was very upset and frustrated thinking this can not go on like this). I came back after 1+ minute and he was still crying. 1,2,3 wouldn't work. Nothing worked. I was upset and I put him up to the changing table (he pooped) and took his temp (he is indeed a bit warm), 102. And I dragged him to the bath. Crying most of the way till the end until I said we will do the puzzle after the bath. Do you want to? There he stopped. But I swear I said we'll do the puzzle when he was breaking down in tears in the very beginning!</p> <p>I notice there are two things I can not take. 1. Deliberately throwing food on the floor; 2. Unstoppable crying / not listening / nothing you can do to stop it. I get really upset at these two. I can take almost anything else.</p> <p>Sorry for the rambling. But I just don't know what else to do. I do not look forward to this every single night so I really hope this is a virus /phase / teething and he is not feeling well. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lets-talk-about-terrible-two#post-1471506 Wed, 05 Mar 2014 21:38:50 +0000 T.H.O.U. 1471506@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@irene: I'm sorry you had a tough night. </p> <p>What triggered the crying? What do you do to help him through his feelings/emotions? </p> <p>At that age distraction was still an option for us. Sometimes it was just taking her to her room, sitting on the floor with her (while she thrashed around and cried). Sometimes I would start reading a book and eventually she would get curious and come over (one her own terms when she was ready). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lets-talk-about-terrible-two#post-1471493 Wed, 05 Mar 2014 21:28:51 +0000 irene 1471493@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@HLK208: Yes. I know such a person too. I actually texted her last night and she gave me some pointers. In which they were ALL USELESS tonight when there was another insanely crazy crying spell. Don't get me wrong. I love my friend. Just something is up with my son.</p> <p>I think and am actually hoping that LO is coming down with something. Is that evil? Tonight he was fine until after dinner. He cried nonstop again. Like when he was a newborn with acid reflux. He cried and cried and won't listen to anything I say. He usually behaves like that when he didn't nap but according to the daycare he napped fine. At one point I had to leave the room (yes. I slammed the door because I was very frustrated). Afterwards, I measured his temperature and it was 102! There is no way he could get a temperature because he got so worked up and cried so much, right? I can not take this anymore and I am actually hoping this is a sickness. Because that means there is an end to it.</p> <p>He didn't eat very well. He didn't even eat the cake my husband made the night before (his absolute favorite). Then a few times he touched his tummy with a painful expression and I asked if he has a tummyache he said yes. Then the cry and the 102 F temperature. I gave him some tynernol.</p> <p>I really hope this somehow taper down somewhat. My baby was an angel. I don't know what happened and where he went. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lets-talk-about-terrible-two#post-1470707 Wed, 05 Mar 2014 16:57:49 +0000 bunnylove08 1470707@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think we're going into the terrible twos. DD is my first child but she is starting to become very challenging. If she doesn't get her way she starts to whine, scream and cry. She also starts to swing her arms and if you're close enough you will get hit. DD is only 16 months. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lets-talk-about-terrible-two#post-1469808 Wed, 05 Mar 2014 13:41:28 +0000 HLK208 1469808@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@irene: each child is different though and from some parents I've talked to, the 3's were awesome. I think that depends on, not only the child, but how well the parents are equipped and how patient they are. There's this one mom who's son attends my DS's preschool and she always has a calm, respectful response to everything her son says, whether it's nice or not. I've seen him participate in the classroom and he's truly thriving. When I talk to her about parenting, she complains like the rest of us but she's very cautious of understanding her child and teaching him right from wrong without being too strict and still respecting his thoughts. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lets-talk-about-terrible-two#post-1469707 Wed, 05 Mar 2014 13:18:32 +0000 irene 1469707@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@HLK208: Oh gosh. My legs are trembling. 2 more years till 4... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lets-talk-about-terrible-two#post-1469702 Wed, 05 Mar 2014 13:17:44 +0000 irene 1469702@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@T.H.O.U.: Thanks!! </p> <p>The thing is, one of the things we want to curb is he ALWAYS want to be held and carried around (ie. "connecting"?). If he doesnt get carried around he would burst into an unstoppable cry. I did get down and explain to him and say, we can hold hands and mommy is tired. Didn't end well. I guess I should try to reassure him more (that I love him and I am right here?) I just don't know what else I could say.</p> <p>ETA: Oh they have a book! I guess I'll check it out...</p> <p>@NovBaby1112: Don't worry, there is no set formula, maybe you already got the terrible twos and it can only get better from here :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lets-talk-about-terrible-two#post-1469272 Wed, 05 Mar 2014 11:39:59 +0000 NovBaby1112 1469272@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is really, really scaring me. I already feel like LO (almost 16 months) is in the terrible twos and am terrified of what's to come. She loves pushing my buttons and testing boundaries, throws horrible tantrums, and is already acting defiantly. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lets-talk-about-terrible-two#post-1469256 Wed, 05 Mar 2014 11:36:12 +0000 HLK208 1469256@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@T.H.O.U.: I really like that! I just bookmarked it. </p> <p>With DS it started around 2 years, 3 months. He wasn't actually bad then, just would go through a bad week at a time. Nothing terrible. Then the 3's came and we felt like we had no control. DH and I were constantly researching how we could be better parents or trying different methods. The 4's came and nothing changed, until about 3 months in. He's much more calm now. He listens and respects us too which I thought would never happen during the 3's.</p> <p>DD is 21 months old and going through the terrible 2's already. We try to keep calm, not take it personal and keep on with what we know worked for DS. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lets-talk-about-terrible-two#post-1469218 Wed, 05 Mar 2014 11:25:48 +0000 T.H.O.U. 1469218@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@irene: I think it does talk about how to handle the tantrum: </p> <p>For a sensitive child:<br /> - Reassure your child (I know you don't want to go to bed, but I still love you, I won't leave you, and I will be right there in my bed)<br /> - Give time to relax (don't rush bedtime, maybe extend the routine so they have time to calm down, get cuddled, etc)<br /> - Connect with them (again, read books, cuddle, etc) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lets-talk-about-terrible-two#post-1469178 Wed, 05 Mar 2014 11:13:18 +0000 irene 1469178@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@BabyBoecksMom: Yes now he is pushing the boundaries harder than ever too. I have a relatively easy 1-2 years old which was actually very enjoyable (not saying he doesn't throw tantrums, but he does it rarely and somehow I always am able to resolve it with grace 85% of the time). Now he just throws tantrums and cries whenever something isn.t going his way it is getting old. The usual things don't work with him anymore. I actually think he is picking this behavior up from someone at school. Grr. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lets-talk-about-terrible-two#post-1469166 Wed, 05 Mar 2014 11:10:52 +0000 irene 1469166@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@T.H.O.U.: Thanks for this! It is definitely very interesting..! My child is more the emotional one according to that chart... but it doesn't tell you how to deal with it if he wants something that couldn't be done (eg. not wanting to go to bed, want to stay and watch the buses when we have to go home...etc Even just asking him to wash his hands before dinner could go into a battle.)! I will improvise... but thanks for this!</p> <p>Thanks everyone!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lets-talk-about-terrible-two#post-1469000 Wed, 05 Mar 2014 10:23:01 +0000 cascademom 1469000@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm with @BabyBoecksMom: on when the stubbornness started around 12-13 months. My LO has a strong independent streak like DH and I do. For us, the tantrums ramped up in the past couple of months. What's helped has been talking with him, identifying his desire, saying yes or no, and going from there. He doesn't get what he wants all the time, but small wins are important. Big whines get ignored. If he's being really bad, he gets a timeout. Timeouts have been super helpful for establishing whose boss in the house and what we'll put up with. This morning, he was cranky and threw his clothes in a rage. After some communication (which is a reward), he calmed down and picked up the clothes. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lets-talk-about-terrible-two#post-1468972 Wed, 05 Mar 2014 10:15:39 +0000 BabyBoecksMom 1468972@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DD started terrible 2s around 13 months. It got much better by 18 months, but now (at 25 months), she's really pushing boundaries harder than she ever did... I just don't take it personally. I let her cry when she needs to cry, and ignore the tantrums. I tell her that if she wants to calm down, then I'll talk to her. It definitely takes time, but I'm learning to zone it out. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lets-talk-about-terrible-two#post-1468782 Wed, 05 Mar 2014 09:22:11 +0000 T.H.O.U. 1468782@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@irene: This chart really helped me: </p> <p><a href="http://thechildwhisperer.com/getting-started/" rel="nofollow">http://thechildwhisperer.com/getting-started/</a> </p> [attach=1506/14/n1yvx0.142x600.The-Child-Whisperer-How-To-Infographic.jpeg] https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lets-talk-about-terrible-two#post-1468693 Wed, 05 Mar 2014 08:43:35 +0000 Mamaof2 1468693@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ditto @looch</p> <p>My DS started at 18 months and it pretty much has stayed consistent - haha - he is 5 now! I def think it has to do with personality!</p> <p>My DD had mild terrible 2's starting after age 2 but overall was a breeze when it came to tantrums! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lets-talk-about-terrible-two#post-1468632 Wed, 05 Mar 2014 08:11:33 +0000 T.H.O.U. 1468632@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sadly I thought we were in the terrible twos around 18-24 months. But then things did get better but now at like 30 months (2.5 years) she's tantruming again. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lets-talk-about-terrible-two#post-1468624 Wed, 05 Mar 2014 08:06:47 +0000 looch 1468624@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I call it the stubborn era. It began pretty much at 18 months and is still going strong at age 3. But this is my son's personality, it has nothing to do with age. I don't expect it to get "easy" with him at any point in his life, but if it does, I'll be pleasantly surprised. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lets-talk-about-terrible-two#post-1468622 Wed, 05 Mar 2014 08:05:24 +0000 lamariniere 1468622@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We made it to 3 fairly painlessly with our son. That said, he was a pretty difficult baby. Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lets-talk-about-terrible-two#post-1468611 Wed, 05 Mar 2014 07:53:41 +0000 irene 1468611@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have officially contracted the Terrible Two virus.</p> <p>I don't know what happened. LO turned two in the end of January. He made his first poop in the potty on my birthday (late Feb, which I was ecstatic about), then things went down hill from there.</p> <p>He got a cold around that time and since then, he became very difficult, even now that he is recovered. If something doesn't go his way, he broke out in a cry that wouldn't stop. Tantrums come back to back. I am at my wits end. It has been a week now. Everyday I have to endure some sort of crying spells / tantrums that he doesn't get over quickly. This is all so new to me and every day, I hope that was just a short phase and it has ended already (but hasn't so far).</p> <p>I talked to my friend and she broke it down for me that made a lot of sense. We have two main problems:</p> <p> 1. power struggle (he wants something that couldn't be fulfilled because of all the various reasons he doesn't understand yet or he wants something that is the exact opposite of what you ask for);</p> <p>2. Communication failure : He is still not speaking in sentences yet and sometimes I do not know what he wants.</p> <p>When did Terrible Two starts for you? How do you deal with it? Were you successful? Does this phase ever end? </p>