https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 01 Jun 2026 03:30:41 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/letting-go-of-perfect-timing#post-2143253 Tue, 14 Apr 2015 09:47:04 +0000 LibbyLou 2143253@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is me too! Tried so I would be "not huge" for a wedding that I am in. I would have been happy to be early PP or under 7months along. Now I'll be happy to be KU at all! I still can't stop planning though. I know the due dates for my next 5 periods at all time and what it coincides with regarding events. I try to stop, but I can't. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/letting-go-of-perfect-timing#post-2143241 Tue, 14 Apr 2015 09:38:37 +0000 LoveHope 2143241@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When I first began planning a baby, I made all sorts of plans not thinking about the fact that it could take a lot longer than expected. Well almost a year later, I'm done with making plans. Plans just don't happen. It may happen for some but for the majority of ppl, they dont. At this point I just want a baby. I know it's only been a year for me and some ppl are struggling with 1 year plus but this is the most devastating thing I have ever gone through. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/letting-go-of-perfect-timing#post-2140064 Fri, 10 Apr 2015 15:18:08 +0000 Worrywart 2140064@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have thrown timing totally out the window. We have been trying for over a year for baby #2 and I will be happy any month of the year. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/letting-go-of-perfect-timing#post-2139846 Fri, 10 Apr 2015 12:25:42 +0000 raintreebee 2139846@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes. My boss actually told me to have a baby in May so that I wouldn't have to take a semester off from teaching. Well, infertility got in the way of that "suggestion." When we finally went to ivf, we tried to time it right but it took three tries. Now on #2, and I still can't let the school calendar not dictate things even though I know it's likely going to take several ivf tries (especially bc I'm only transferring one embryo each time). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/letting-go-of-perfect-timing#post-2139839 Fri, 10 Apr 2015 12:19:47 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2139839@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The only part of the year I want to avoid is a Thanksgiving through New Year's baby. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/letting-go-of-perfect-timing#post-2139826 Fri, 10 Apr 2015 12:01:05 +0000 ms.line 2139826@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yep! First trying for an EDD by the summer, then by the end of the year, then before my next birthday, and on and on. And each month AF comes and I'm all busted up. :sad: At this point I'll gladly take a baby any time of year, but I still can't stop thinking about timing! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/letting-go-of-perfect-timing#post-2139800 Fri, 10 Apr 2015 11:49:01 +0000 MrsD2442 2139800@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Perfect timing has always been an issue for us as well, or shall I say imperfect timing. DH is a tax accountant, and is barely home during the end of February, all of March and the first half of April. As of now, if I'm ku (I'm 9dpo and thinking of testing tomorrow) we'd be due in December, apparently right around Christmas time. If not, next cycle we'd probably be due around the end of January.. And that's where the trouble lies. I don't want him to miss the first few months, but at the same time we don't really want to stop TTC. As of now, if I'm not ku I think we'll try for one more cycle then stop until late summer to avoid a due date during next tax season. But it's a tough decision, and we'll see how we feel in a month or so. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/letting-go-of-perfect-timing#post-2098652 Fri, 06 Mar 2015 22:08:35 +0000 BSB 2098652@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yup, I've been there. Early on, I was so naive. I would plan when I would get pregnant and went I could travel home for the baby shower. </p> <p>I'm 8 weeks pregnant after TTC for 3 years and even now I'm cautiously positive. Having IF for so long you are always waiting for the floor to drop out on you. I'm not sure when it will ever go away. </p> <p>Keep the hope! One day (hopefully) soon, you'll have your miracle baby! </p> <p>Oh, we have an IF inspirational thread that helped me get through tough days.<br /> <a href="http://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-inspiration-lt3" rel="nofollow">http://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-inspiration-lt3</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/letting-go-of-perfect-timing#post-2098638 Fri, 06 Mar 2015 21:54:10 +0000 bhbee 2098638@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yah, been there for sure. I would not have picked january and now I have two babies born then. But with if and loss I was lucky to get babies at all and now I think january was great. I used to think about the pros every month and then the cons if I saw a bfn to be a silver lining (like well, it would have been xxx anyway ...) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/letting-go-of-perfect-timing#post-2098634 Fri, 06 Mar 2015 21:49:30 +0000 ElbieKay 2098634@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are trying to decide about #2, and the best timing from a job and age perspective aligns with the worst birthday timing. But last time it took eight months to get a sticky baby so it seems silly to get hung up on that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/letting-go-of-perfect-timing#post-2098547 Fri, 06 Mar 2015 20:02:12 +0000 Mrs.LaFountain 2098547@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH and I left perfect timing in the way behind. I work asin a school as well so a May/June baby would be best. Originally we planned to TTC to fit this plan. Then we bought a house and moved it back. Where going to wait till May but decided to go for it in Jan. Babies happen when they want to happen not always as planned. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/letting-go-of-perfect-timing#post-2098495 Fri, 06 Mar 2015 19:02:50 +0000 lady baltimore 2098495@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MOMTOLITTLEB: I do think that, in a way, it has helped me not to get discouraged. Each month when my period comes, I find myself thinking "well, this next cycle would be a great time to conceive because we can tell my mom at Mother's Day/my dad at Father's Day/my in-laws when we visit/when my nephew is born/etc." So it's great that I find a new reason to be excited about each potential time of conception, but I also think that the fact that I don't feel discouraged yet is keeping me from recognizing that getting pregnant just when I want to is increasingly unlikely (on an emotional level - intellectually I do get it).</p> <p>Oh well, better than being devastated every month! :happy: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/letting-go-of-perfect-timing#post-2098012 Fri, 06 Mar 2015 12:59:28 +0000 MOMTOLITTLEB 2098012@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I used to do that and I would get so excited each month for one reason or another. I don't know why but it kind of kept me optimistic. I don't want to do that next time because I want to be more relaxed about it in general but I know its hard to resist! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/letting-go-of-perfect-timing#post-2097977 Fri, 06 Mar 2015 12:39:51 +0000 TemperanceBrennan 2097977@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Maybe it would help to think of it this way:<br /> When you have your baby, you are going to love that person more than anything else. If that baby was born at a different time, he/she wouldn't be the same person. After your baby is born, I bet you won't be able to imagine having a different one. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/letting-go-of-perfect-timing#post-2097915 Fri, 06 Mar 2015 12:12:20 +0000 buttermilk 2097915@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>In the beginning we were even trying to plan our baby's astrology sign. LOL! </p> <p>It didn't take too many months of bfns for me to realize how insane that was. I let go pretty quickly, though when we got fed up of ttc after 8 months it made it easier to stop trying during the months which would have given us a winter baby, which I had originally hoped to avoid. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/letting-go-of-perfect-timing#post-2097870 Fri, 06 Mar 2015 11:40:34 +0000 lady baltimore 2097870@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: Yes, that is what I am hoping for - taking 12 weeks leave (Feb-May or March-June) and then having summer off. If I have to back for a few weeks at the end of the year, my mom and DH could cover child care, but my work also has something in their policy about not having people bother to come back when you are very close to an upcoming break (they prefer to just keep the sub).</p> <p>@Mrs.Someone: I am getting a fertility work-up with my GYN this month (day 3 bloodwork/HSG/SA) and then we'll talk about what's next (whether that's an RE or not). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/letting-go-of-perfect-timing#post-2097865 Fri, 06 Mar 2015 11:35:36 +0000 MaryM 2097865@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Instead of focusing on some times being "worse" for getting time off, I focus on how much better some times are than others. </p> <p>I'm not focused on there being an ideal time, but I know that NOW would be the best time (because we get a lot of leave around the holidays). So it's not like we don't give it our all throughout the year, but I do feel more pressure in late winter/early spring because it would be more ideal. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/letting-go-of-perfect-timing#post-2097864 Fri, 06 Mar 2015 11:34:28 +0000 Mrs.Someone 2097864@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Every month for a long time ... Hang in there! Are you seeing an RE? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/letting-go-of-perfect-timing#post-2097860 Fri, 06 Mar 2015 11:33:12 +0000 Anagram 2097860@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lady baltimore: I also work in a school and really wanted a June baby, to get the max time off....but that didn't happen and now I'm having an August baby. I'll get less time for maternity leave, but I've basically made my peace with that now. </p> <p>If you have a March baby, won't that basically take you till the end of they year and then you have the summer off, too!? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/letting-go-of-perfect-timing#post-2097858 Fri, 06 Mar 2015 11:31:08 +0000 lady baltimore 2097858@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am having a hard time letting go of the timing of TTC. We are on our fifteenth month of trying, and I've gotten it in my head that if I get KU in May or June, I'll be able to roll my maternity leave into summer break (I work at a school) and get almost six months at home with LO before we have to look into daycare options.</p> <p>You'd think after more than a year of BFNs, I'd get it through my head that I am not in control here. We're certainly not *not* trying between now and May, but I still find myself unconsciously planning on having a due date next February or March. </p> <p>Anyone else not able to stop yourself from making plans like this, even when you have plenty of evidence that your plans aren't exactly working out? </p>