https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 23 Apr 2026 17:59:43 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/little-things-your-spouse-do-that-annoy-u-little-complains-little-arguments-is-my-husband-normal#post-2202251 Mon, 08 Jun 2015 15:15:36 +0000 mrbee 2202251@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@jasmine: Have you guys tried marriage counseling? Might be a good place to ask (and have him answer) these questions! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/little-things-your-spouse-do-that-annoy-u-little-complains-little-arguments-is-my-husband-normal#post-2202246 Mon, 08 Jun 2015 15:14:03 +0000 thestairs 2202246@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>What I don't want is my husband to keep hold it and build up resentment day by day, and one day he will explode.<br /> I heard that couples that don't fight, they tends to hold things inside. Because they always try to make their partner satisfy, but eventually one day they can't take it anymore.</p> <p>Sometimes I feel that he suppress himself and go along with what I want; so I can be happy, so this marriage canwork. I don't want him to build up resentment and explode one day.</p> <p>Is there any signs that a spouse is building up resentment day by day?</p> <p>There someone tell me that her husband and her never argue one day in their marriage. And after so many years, her husband finally exploded and turn 180 different, and their marriage broke down.<br /> I really hope this is not my case, I don't even know if we can make it that long in our marriage. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/little-things-your-spouse-do-that-annoy-u-little-complains-little-arguments-is-my-husband-normal#post-2201988 Mon, 08 Jun 2015 11:22:29 +0000 Umbreon 2201988@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wouldn't say I ever argue with my husband. We rarely fight. We have had disagreements, but we don't complain, argue, yell, etc at each other. We usually take some time to ourselves and then end up talking things out in the end. This so rarely happens though. Sure, there are things we do to annoy each other, but we don't bring it up and complain every time. </p> <p>I don't think you need to be so concerned about not fighting and yelling at each other. It sounds like you two have great communication. Don't be so focused on the fact that arguing makes a relationship stronger - this isn't true. Being able to communicate is what makes a relationship stronger (during the good times and the bad). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/little-things-your-spouse-do-that-annoy-u-little-complains-little-arguments-is-my-husband-normal#post-2201962 Mon, 08 Jun 2015 10:56:24 +0000 mrbee 2201962@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>He sounds pretty great to me. </p> <p>Sounds like you guys have different expectations for a relationship. Especially this part: "He should have complain, he should be assertive, he should raise his voice on me if needed."</p> <p>I am assertive in my relationship, but I don't think raising my voice is necessary to make a point. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/little-things-your-spouse-do-that-annoy-u-little-complains-little-arguments-is-my-husband-normal#post-2201923 Mon, 08 Jun 2015 10:20:25 +0000 josina 2201923@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with above posts, it does sound like you have a great marriage...<br /> The things you mentioned he 'agrees' with you on, like having a down payment for a house, saving money, wanting a nicer place, I think anyone would want, so its not surprising that he would agree with you.<br /> I don't think he needs to raise his voice to you to equal good communication, it sounds like you have great communication.<br /> It sounds like he is just very accommodating, and I can maybe see where that might get annoying if he always just says 'whatever you want'. Just let him know that it will make YOU happy to make him happy, to know his REAL likes, needs, wants. That you don't want him to just feed you back what he knows you want. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/little-things-your-spouse-do-that-annoy-u-little-complains-little-arguments-is-my-husband-normal#post-2201905 Mon, 08 Jun 2015 10:07:58 +0000 thestairs 2201905@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you mamaof2,<br /> I hope my husband is not holding himself back, each day build up and build up and one day he will explode.</p> <p>As married couple, it about communication and compromise as we learn to adapt to each others living style. A complain here and there, litle arguments are not always bad. But it can helps to learn each other differences, and we learn to compromise with each others as we go.</p> <p>I heard that that if a married couple have no fight, then one is not fully happy. Because one party have to hold back themself in trying to satisfy the other party. Right? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/little-things-your-spouse-do-that-annoy-u-little-complains-little-arguments-is-my-husband-normal#post-2201881 Mon, 08 Jun 2015 09:44:51 +0000 Mamaof2 2201881@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@jasmine: I think he sounds like a great husband! He wants to take care of you and make you happy - I see no harm in that! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/little-things-your-spouse-do-that-annoy-u-little-complains-little-arguments-is-my-husband-normal#post-2201855 Mon, 08 Jun 2015 09:29:23 +0000 thestairs 2201855@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you so much mrbee for your inputs, really appreciated. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/little-things-your-spouse-do-that-annoy-u-little-complains-little-arguments-is-my-husband-normal#post-2201857 Mon, 08 Jun 2015 09:29:01 +0000 mrbee 2201857@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think you have to pick your battles. I don't usually mention little things that annoy me, because they're just little things. If I am getting really annoyed at something little, then it's probably a sign that there are bigger issues that need to be addressed.</p> <p>As for your situation, it sounds like you're in a honeymoon period! I would just enjoy it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/little-things-your-spouse-do-that-annoy-u-little-complains-little-arguments-is-my-husband-normal#post-2201852 Mon, 08 Jun 2015 09:27:44 +0000 thestairs 2201852@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sorry, VERY LONG post ahead...</p> <p>I have a husband that always let me have things my way so I can be happy. He doesn't argue with me, he doesn't talk back to me. I wish sometimes he would stop let me have things my way. And for once let himself have things HIS ways instead.</p> <p>When we dated and he wanted marriage. Every couple days be would brought up the marriage topic. He said he wants to get married and if I want it too, we can get married. His whenever I'm ready, he just waitng on me.<br /> I didn't answer him, I drag it on for couple months; and every couple days she would asked and asked again and gain. He pretty much throw the ball at my court and let me decided when I'm ready to get married.</p> <p>He didn't get down on his knee when he wants to propose for marriage, but... he doesn't mind kneel down on one of his knee if that make me feel better about my height.<br /> I'm 4'11, he is 6'1 so we have 14 inches difference in height. When we have serious talk, we can't stand next to each others and talk. I am ridiculously short next to him, so I always have to look up to his face.<br /> I would complain and make comments like: "Your so tall, I have to look up in order to look at your eyes."<br /> Then he would kneel down on one of his knee, so I don't have to look up to him when I talk. I know he doing this only to make me feel better about my height.</p> <p>I'm good at cook Chinese food. I have no problem cooking him different Chinese dishes everyday for him to eat the whole month. But I know he likes to eat his culture food.<br /> So I learn it from my mother in-law, I also buy his culture food books so I can learn more on how to cook his cultural dishes. I ask him, what do he likes to eat, give me a list and I will cook for him.<br /> And he answered, he eat anything that his wife cook. Pretty much he said, it doesn't matter what type of dishes I cook, as long as I cook it, he's happy to eat it.</p> <p>He works 2 jobs so his income is more than mine. He always offer to pay more on Rent/Bills because he makes more income. But I said No, I said I want to be fair, because we both bring in income. I also work, I have my own source of income.<br /> I said I want to take turn pay Rent, and we split Bills to help each others. This month I pay rent, next month he pay rent. Grocery is this time I pay, next time he pay, etc...<br /> I give him the look like he's not listening to his wife. He said alright, he let me have it my way as I insist. But he said that when he die he going to leave all his money to me anyway, this he said I have no choice, lol</p> <p>We live in a cheap rent bad area neighborhood right now. Because of the cheap rent, the environment here is not good at all. We both agree that we will not raise a new born baby here.<br /> Since we both poor, so we plan to buy a Foreclosure house or a small house. Buy a Foreclosure house is cheaper, we can get out of this bad neighborhood faster.<br /> All our lives we both are Debt-Free, so I told my husband that I aim at 50% house down-payment, so we have less mortage and pay off our mortgage faster.<br /> He doesn't even talk back to me. He said 'Alright, anything you want', himself he went to find a second job. Working his butt off 2 jobs everyday to fulfill what I aim at.</p> <p>He did promise that after I became his wife, he will listen to what I say. And the first thing I say is I aim at 50% house down-payment. He said as a husband he will make it happen for me, even if that means he have to work 3 jobs; to faster achieve my goal.<br /> But I said No! I do not let him work 3 jobs, because I don't think we can have time with each others if he work that much.</p> <p>Fortunately, his 2nd job is just temporary for one year. Until next year when we buy a small foreclosure house he will be back working 1 job, it a better time to TTC<br /> Right now everyday he work 12-14 hours including weekend. His local Truck driving job can be mentally tired; his mind always have to concentrate while driving on the road.<br /> His Warehouse job sure is physically tired, because all he do is loading/Unloading, stacking, lifting, carrying heavy stuff all day.</p> <p>He said if he stress from from work, he will sit in his car to think. He will not bring stress of work to home, he leave it outside as soon as he get out of the car.<br /> Never once he complain a word to me about working 2 jobs. I'm sure his Warehouse job give him body ache and he is tired by the end of the day, but he never complain that he's tired or demand me for a massage.</p> <p>He is very responsible with money, his whole life he is Debt-free and he is not a big spender at all.<br /> He said he likes to work so he have no complain. He said he work hard so we can have enough money to buy a house, to save money for us and our baby future, and to save money for rainy days.<br /> To him work is survival, work is to secure the future. He have an obsession with saving money, he make sure every month he puts in money in saving account just in case of rainy days.</p> <p>okay, those are just few little examples. Eversince we dating till marriage, he always let me have things my way so I can be happy. I wish for once he would let himself have things his ways instead. But he doesn't change, he still the same guy that I know 4 years ago, perhaps this is the way he is? Perhaps I should just learn to adapt to this because that is who he is?<br /> Never once he raise his voice on me, let alone start argument with me. Sometimes I do want him to talk to me in the louder voice, and tell me what he wants, but he just doesn't do it. Is my husband NORMAL? How to fix this? How to get him to tell me what HE WANTS?</p> <p>Who here find it to be a TURN OFF when a husband always let the wife have things her ways? </p> <p>----------------------------------------------</p> <p>How to get him to be assertive and tell me what HE WANTS, instead of always what I want.<br /> He doesn't tell me what he wants, how about HIS needs? What do HE wants? Well, he tell me that he wants a baby to complete our family. But beside that, I want him to tell me more on what he wants.<br /> With the way he is, I'm not sure if he ready to be a dad. He will just overly spoil his children and give them everything they want.</p> <p>If you make it through this far, from the post you see he always like that, and it irritate me. Because man suppose to know what he wants right? He should have complain, he should be assertive, he should raise his voice on me if needed.<br /> But never once he raise his voice on me, let alone argue with me.</p> <p>I told him that if a couple doesn't argue at all, that means one is not fully happy. Because one have to hold back to try to make the other happy. And he anwered me that he's happy, and he doesn't see any problem in our marriage.</p> <p>He will be working 2 jobs until next year. Next year when we have enough money for a small house down-payment, then he be back working 1 job.<br /> We do try to spend time together as much as we can. He phone me every time he on break from work.<br /> Even when he come home late from work, we spend all the hours together until he sleeps.</p> <p>We do try to communicate, when we in bed together, we talk alot. He tell me about his day at work, he talks about everything,. We talk about random daily things, and we both laugh, we jokes, we giggles.<br /> He tell me about his work schedules, what he be doing tomorrow, where he be going tomorrow, etc...</p> <p>I don't think we have communication problem, everyday we talk alot with each others about everrything. Perhaps we have communication problem but we don't realize yet? What are the signs that a couple have communication problems? </p>