https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 07 May 2026 18:22:48 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lo-is-aggressive-at-gym-daycare-help#post-2437436 Tue, 26 Jan 2016 11:23:16 +0000 daniellemybelle 2437436@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: They definitely just supervise and I think they don't intervene until it's basically too late. It's not like they promise much more so I'm not sure what is reasonable to ask? But it's also not reasonable to ask a 2 year old to totally self-regulate! Like, is it fair to say, "We are working with LO on being gentle and kind, but can you please watch her closely today and intervene before she is able to hurt anyone?" I feel like that is reasonable to ask a babysitter but I don't want to make it seem like they have to give her so much more attention than other kids. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lo-is-aggressive-at-gym-daycare-help#post-2437389 Tue, 26 Jan 2016 11:05:01 +0000 Anagram 2437389@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@daniellemybelle: I only skimmed the other replies, but how involved are the gym babysitters? It just seems like your LO needs a little more active monitoring. Instead of them letting the kids do whatever, they might shadow your LO a bit for a while to intervene BEFORE things happen.</p> <p>Honestly, I teach middle school and nothing changes even at this age. Some kids are tough when it comes to behavior, but as long as I'm not sitting down and I'm nearby and actively helping/monitoring their work, they are wayyyy better. Chaos happens when I sit down. Law of proximity control. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lo-is-aggressive-at-gym-daycare-help#post-2437230 Tue, 26 Jan 2016 09:42:23 +0000 daniellemybelle 2437230@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@megjay18: Thanks! We have gotten books from the library about "Hands Are Not For Hitting" and other similar titles. Honestly, I've found Daniel Tiger episodes and talking about them during &amp; after to stick a lot more. I might look into getting the book versions of certain episodes though so we can reinforce that way.</p> <p>@MamaCate: I'm going to try it!</p> <p>@runnerd: Thanks. I definitely don't think it is the easiest environment for a LO which makes me feel a bit guilty :bummed: But she does always get excited to go! And even when she's "gotten in trouble" she seems happy when I pick her up. I am more concerned about her "victims"!</p> <p>@Trailmix: They have not yet specifically said that she is in danger of being "suspended" but they tell you when you start at the gym daycare that after 3 "notes," they can suspend your child. She has two official "notes" at this point. </p> <p>I definitely believe 2 year olds will be 2 year olds and there is a limit to what you can expect of them when it comes to sharing. But I think the buck has to stop with hurting other kids. I don't want to just let that go! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lo-is-aggressive-at-gym-daycare-help#post-2436686 Mon, 25 Jan 2016 18:42:46 +0000 Trailmix 2436686@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Unless they are talking about asking your child not to come back, I'd just keep reinforcing to your daughter about sharing, being kind to our friends, etc and then let it go. What are you gonna do, ya know? Two-year-olds are two-year-olds, mine have done plenty of that kind of thing at the gym daycare and the supervisor just deals with it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lo-is-aggressive-at-gym-daycare-help#post-2436632 Mon, 25 Jan 2016 17:41:20 +0000 BandDmommy 2436632@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@runnerd: agree 100% at least about our gym daycare </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lo-is-aggressive-at-gym-daycare-help#post-2436630 Mon, 25 Jan 2016 17:39:31 +0000 runnerd 2436630@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't have any advice, just wanted to say my 18mo old goes to full-time daycare, and usually is a tear-filled mess sitting in the teacher's lap when we pick him up after 30min in the gym childcare. I don't know if it's because of the environment or we don't take him there enough, but just wanted to add that I think those environments just don't bring out the best in the ones under 3-4 years old. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lo-is-aggressive-at-gym-daycare-help#post-2436622 Mon, 25 Jan 2016 17:26:39 +0000 MamaCate 2436622@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@daniellemybelle: then I would definitely try it! We balanced the immediate/delayed gratification by getting a sticker to wear and a star on the chart right away and then the reward later. Every kid is different so you know what will work best for your LO! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lo-is-aggressive-at-gym-daycare-help#post-2436464 Mon, 25 Jan 2016 15:49:43 +0000 megjay18 2436464@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i think a sticker chart or some sort of reward system could work - it really depends on the kid though. </p> <p>i also suggest finding books on the subject. whenever we had "issues" with our son, we would buy a book on it and read it to him on a regular basis. i think it helps it to sink in when it's not just you saying it. also - daniel tiger is the basis of our parenting too. lol. especially potty training!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lo-is-aggressive-at-gym-daycare-help#post-2436451 Mon, 25 Jan 2016 15:38:31 +0000 daniellemybelle 2436451@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: It is just one large room for all the children that are above 18 months, I think. There is a separate baby room. There is a playscape (like a fast food restaurant), toys, and then they have small tables with activities like simple crafts. The kids get to choose what they want. So, overall it is really unstructured. It's babysitting.</p> <p>I hope she figures it out even if it means tough love from peers! But I would love to curb it before then. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lo-is-aggressive-at-gym-daycare-help#post-2436450 Mon, 25 Jan 2016 15:37:50 +0000 BandDmommy 2436450@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: if it's like my gym daycare, it's separated into baby and then other area. The other area they just let the kids run around and then they also have a movie playing in a separate area. It's pretty much kid chaos. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lo-is-aggressive-at-gym-daycare-help#post-2436443 Mon, 25 Jan 2016 15:32:42 +0000 looch 2436443@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@daniellemybelle: What do they do with the kids in the daycare? Is it structured, do they organize the kids by age, etc?</p> <p>Eventually, she'll figure it out, she's going to be ignored by her peers when she strong arms them, it happened to my son and learned very quickly what it means when the discipline came from his peers. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lo-is-aggressive-at-gym-daycare-help#post-2436426 Mon, 25 Jan 2016 15:22:45 +0000 BandDmommy 2436426@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@daniellemybelle: reward charts did not work for my son at that age but you can give it a shot! Kids respond differently.. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lo-is-aggressive-at-gym-daycare-help#post-2436424 Mon, 25 Jan 2016 15:21:51 +0000 daniellemybelle 2436424@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaCate: Oh, I would totally have a bin of $1 crap if it meant she behaved well! :silly: I feel like the concept of a behavior chart leading to a reward is still somewhat beyond her. An immediate reward she can see is more likely to work, I think. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lo-is-aggressive-at-gym-daycare-help#post-2436415 Mon, 25 Jan 2016 15:16:13 +0000 MamaCate 2436415@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@daniellemybelle: I think you are on the right track since 2 year old's are not really built to share! The problem with gym daycare is likely to be the mix of ages and caregivers who might not know what to expect for different ages. We started reward charts around that age and LO responded really well to them. We did a "star" chart where she had to earn so many stars and then she got a toy/prize. Are you willing to do a $1 toy every time you go to the gym? That would add up and be a lot of stuff at your house! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lo-is-aggressive-at-gym-daycare-help#post-2436400 Mon, 25 Jan 2016 15:06:08 +0000 daniellemybelle 2436400@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@BandDmommy: Yes, I agree that based just on her disposition and the situation, it is not a perfect set up. But MDO is WAY more expensive than the additional $10/month we pay for the gym daycare! Not to mention, I really only need about an hour at a time, not 6 hours.</p> <p>Less crowded times is a good idea. The ratio is 8:1 and I typically go for classes that are popular with SAHMs so they are at ratio at those times. I am going to ask when things are slow and see if we can go then - though I have a feeling it would be during naptime :bummed: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lo-is-aggressive-at-gym-daycare-help#post-2436346 Mon, 25 Jan 2016 14:37:25 +0000 BandDmommy 2436346@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Another option is trying Mothers Day Out with low ratios to ease your child into situations where you will not be there but also there are less children, so lower child to caregiver ratio. Just a thought.... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lo-is-aggressive-at-gym-daycare-help#post-2436343 Mon, 25 Jan 2016 14:35:58 +0000 BandDmommy 2436343@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>What is the environment like? What is the ratio of child to caregiver? Unfortunately, it may be a hard situation for your child based on the responses above. If it's like our gym daycare its pretty chaotic. What worked best for us when DS was going through a hard time was going to the gym at less crowded times when I knew there would not be a lot of kids and a lot less opportunities for issues. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lo-is-aggressive-at-gym-daycare-help#post-2436333 Mon, 25 Jan 2016 14:30:25 +0000 daniellemybelle 2436333@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrsrain: Thank you :heart: I know it is a long post, haha. I came home and word vomited about this! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lo-is-aggressive-at-gym-daycare-help#post-2436307 Mon, 25 Jan 2016 14:17:24 +0000 mrsrain 2436307@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Bumping this for you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lo-is-aggressive-at-gym-daycare-help#post-2436192 Mon, 25 Jan 2016 13:24:13 +0000 daniellemybelle 2436192@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Background: LO is 2 &amp; 3 months. She's very verbal, and also very active and strong willed. </p> <p>I SAH. We do playdates or activities almost every day, but the only thing we do where I am not with her during the day is the gym daycare. She is there for about 45 minutes to 1 hour, a couple times per week. The caregivers and other kids vary though there are often familiar faces.</p> <p>So, all that to say: LO is being aggressive to the other children in "sharing situations." I will pick her up and be told that she has pulled hair, pushed, or today she put a child in a headlock over a toy. :sad: I am trying to figure out what to do to help this situation. Going to the gym is important to me and I also think it is good for her to be away from me for short periods.</p> <p>She struggles with sharing and being kind when at playgroups, but I am able to intervene. Even though I don't "helicopter," there is better supervision and understanding that boundaries will be enforced when we are with friends than at the gym daycare.</p> <p>What I currently do with LO is talk to her about being a good friend, taking turns and being gentle on our way there. I try to keep it simple, clear and positive. I don't really discipline her when I pick her up because I feel like the moment has passed.</p> <p>I have told the gym caregivers the two phrases that are really helpful in other situations: "You can take a turn, and then I get back," and "When you feel so mad that you want to roar, take a deep breath, and count to four." (Yes, Daniel Tiger is our main parenting tool.) But I just don't know how realistic it is for them to actively manage these situations when they have a high ratio and kids are coming &amp; going.</p> <p>***I interrupt this post to say that Daniel Tiger just asked, "Do you take turns?" LO shook her head emphatically NO. :meh: ***</p> <p>I am wondering if she is old enough to understand a reward system... like I could get some dollar store toys, show it to her before we go and say, "If you take turns and are gentle to friends, you will get this when I pick you up. If you are not gentle, you will not get this when I pick you up." She is so verbal but she also feels like such a baby still so I don't know if that is realistic. Obviously in the moment, she gets worked up and I don't know that she can really self-regulate to remember incentives.</p> <p>So... Suggestions? Thanks! </p>