https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 22 May 2026 18:28:27 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/long-feelings-about-knowing-your-lampd-staff#post-254407 Fri, 10 Aug 2012 10:00:02 +0000 DillonLion 254407@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrs. bird: Ah, okay that makes sense. Thanks for the clarification! I totally see your point about not wanting the subject of your miscarriage to be thought about on the day you are having a baby. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/long-feelings-about-knowing-your-lampd-staff#post-254386 Fri, 10 Aug 2012 09:38:56 +0000 mrs. bird 254386@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@highwire: no, I didn't have ins at the time &amp; couldn't afford a D&amp;C, I didn't have any complications other than bad cramping &amp; 6 weeks of bleeding, so I talked to the dr about it &amp; as long as a didn't show signs of infection, I just let it run it's course. So there is record in my dr office, but I wasn't admitted to the hospital, so she wouldn't have seen it. If she did see it, she wouldn't say anything, I would just feel like I disappointed her, by getting pregnant &amp; not telling her. I just wouldn't want the day I do have a baby, to be the day she finds out I lost one, does that make sense? DH also doesn't like it, we're having a harder time getting pregnant than we'd hoped, so I think it makes him insecure that I did get pregnant by someone else by accident. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/long-feelings-about-knowing-your-lampd-staff#post-254368 Fri, 10 Aug 2012 09:31:27 +0000 mrs. bird 254368@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Shimmer: she is well aware of my concerns :D they are always asking when I'm gonna have a baby &amp; my mom warns them about how I am worried that my preferences will annoy them. I know they're excited about it, but somehow that puts pressure on me. Like I might disappoint them or make a bad choice. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/long-feelings-about-knowing-your-lampd-staff#post-254349 Fri, 10 Aug 2012 09:22:07 +0000 mrs. bird 254349@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Minnie_Girl: I don't think giving birth in a hospital is ever private, but since I don't have the option of a birth center &amp; I have a strong family history of births where the baby did not survive, I don't think a home birth would be a suitable choice for me. I guess I'm looking for anonymity rather than privacy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/long-feelings-about-knowing-your-lampd-staff#post-254344 Fri, 10 Aug 2012 09:19:53 +0000 rachiecakes 254344@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would definitely want things a bit more private, personally. I would want to concentrate on that task at hand. But I'm also someone who didn't want my mother/friends/cousins/MIL/etc in the room with me. Limited my visitors. I'm a very outgoing extroverted person, but there are some things that I'm really private about, mostly my relationship with DH and DS. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/long-feelings-about-knowing-your-lampd-staff#post-254343 Fri, 10 Aug 2012 09:18:46 +0000 DillonLion 254343@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrs. bird: Is it possible that your mom may see the miscarriage on the records but know that since you never discussed it with her, she shouldn't bring it up now? It sounds like you just don't want to talk about it with her (which is perfectly fine!) and maybe even if she sees your chart and sees the miscarriage, she'd know not to bring it up? Just a thought. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/long-feelings-about-knowing-your-lampd-staff#post-254338 Fri, 10 Aug 2012 09:16:22 +0000 looch 254338@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrs. bird: I wasn't implying that, honest! What I meant was that I am certain if a nurse saw the chart, he/she wouldn't go up to your mother and tell her about the info it. If your mom would see the chart anyway, then I'd be up front about it and tell her. That's just me though, I hate the guessing of "does she know, does she not know?" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/long-feelings-about-knowing-your-lampd-staff#post-254336 Fri, 10 Aug 2012 09:15:00 +0000 mrs. bird 254336@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: oh goodness, she would never try to violate my privacy by seeking out my medical records, I hope it didn't come a cross that way. Part of her job is to review all of the charts in her department, so she sees all the charts for patients that deliver there. </p> <p>As far as the MC, it's not the end of the world for her to know. I've just never told her because I didn't want to upset her. It was a whoops'a'baby with my ex that ended on my 21st birthday, it wasn't meant to be &amp; as painful as it was, I'm thankful for it because I don't think DH &amp; I would be together had it not happened. There's just never been a reason to talk about it &amp; I don't feel like there's a reason to now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/long-feelings-about-knowing-your-lampd-staff#post-254330 Fri, 10 Aug 2012 09:11:28 +0000 Minnie_Girl 254330@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If you're giving birth in the hospital, the birth is not going to be private! Having strangers attend the birth would not improve my comfort level, haha. I'd rather have the staff I know, and also have the benefit of my own doctor, than go someplace where everyone is an unknown! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/long-feelings-about-knowing-your-lampd-staff#post-254284 Fri, 10 Aug 2012 08:41:34 +0000 Shimmer 254284@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That's tricky. Personally, I might feel better knowing some of the people taking care of me - is it possible to speak to them about how you feel before getting to the L&amp;D part?</p> <p>Also - I am a nurse - all medical professionals are bound by HIPPA, as PP have said earlier. It would be a conflict of interest for me to take care of a family member, and with electronic charts and whatnot these days, I would be easily caught and disciplined/fired if I accessed the chart of a patient that was not mine for personal reasons. (i.e. George Clooney was actually brought to the ER of my hospital a few years back after a motorcycle accident and I think 10 people were fired because they accessed his records out of curiousity and violated HIPPA!).</p> <p>Also, could you talk to your mom about your concerns? Not necessarily the info about the miscarriage (I'm sorry for your loss, by the way) but concerns about laboring and delivering where she works and around the people that know you well? She might understand more than you think! It's worth a shot before changing docs and upping your deductible. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/long-feelings-about-knowing-your-lampd-staff#post-254263 Fri, 10 Aug 2012 08:29:06 +0000 looch 254263@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Is your mom a nurse, Mrs. Bird? Would she normally have access to the chart? I can understand wanting to keep the miscarriage private, but I think you'd be protected by HIPPA if someone has access to your chart...my assumption is that nurses and doctors don't play around with the privacy rules, YKWIM? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/long-feelings-about-knowing-your-lampd-staff#post-254262 Fri, 10 Aug 2012 08:28:30 +0000 blackbird 254262@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wow that's definitely tricky....but at the end of the day, they are nurses and while the information may be personal to you, it is second nature to them. 90% of women have had a miscarriage by the time they're done having kids, so they won't think it's anything to gossip about or be horrified by. It's just the job, to them. I'd be more weird about them seeing my vagina than knowing about a m/c, lol. But they are professionals, and if you like your doctor, i would be inclined to keep her. </p> <p>Also, keep in mind that you'll likely get treated EXTRA well because they know you. And they would probably be very excited to take care of you and your baby! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/long-feelings-about-knowing-your-lampd-staff#post-254196 Fri, 10 Aug 2012 08:00:12 +0000 mamimami 254196@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I second @regberadaisy! Everyone has their own way, but during and after giving birth, privacy is pretty much out the window. Seriously anyone who came in my room, I'd show them my goods.... (between my doctor, nurses and the doctors on their shifts, everyone wanted to check out those stitches! Probably some janitorial staff saw too much, too.)</p> <p>Maybe it will be freeing for you, once you're having your baby, and you will feel differently about sharing private info about your miscarriage. You never know. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/long-feelings-about-knowing-your-lampd-staff#post-254188 Fri, 10 Aug 2012 07:55:42 +0000 regberadaisy 254188@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I can definitely understand how it would be weird that you know the staff. But on the other hand because you know them you know they will pay extra attention to you! Come check on you more often. Take better care of your newborn, etc. It's human nature.</p> <p>And you'll probably leave the hospital with even more goodies! heh</p> <p>I would say I'm usually a VERY private person. But at the hospital my boob was bare for all to see, my privates hanging out and staff was coming in and out like crazy and it didn't bother me one bit. Just something about it made me not care. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/long-feelings-about-knowing-your-lampd-staff#post-254182 Fri, 10 Aug 2012 07:48:39 +0000 MaisyMay 254182@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i actually like the idea of knowing my nurses pretty well. My mom is a nurse, not labor and delivery, and I'd love to be able to get her advice/help during that time. That being said, if you're not comfortable with it, switch. The question to ask is, is the anonymity worth $1,000? I think you'd probably get better care by the nurses who know you, too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/long-feelings-about-knowing-your-lampd-staff#post-254181 Fri, 10 Aug 2012 07:48:34 +0000 heffalump 254181@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That's a tough one! They had a million nurses come in when registering me and ask a million questions, one of those being is this my first pregnancy. The answer for me was no, it's my second, but it's my first that went to full term because I miscarried, so you'll have to say that over and over and over again, in front of whoever is in the room with you. So for starters, I would kick my mom out for the registering process if you don't want her knowing that. </p> <p>I really think it's a personal decision for you. I had a miscarriage and my pre op nurse was my good friend's mom, and my post op nurse was my ex boyfriend's mom! I didn't tell anybody other than my family that I was pregnant, let alone that I miscarried so this was pretty awkward for me, but I knew that they wouldn't tell their kids or anyone else or they could lose their job, plus they are good people, so I really wasn't worried. And because they knew me so well they treated me awesome, I couldn't have had better care. Did I like my ex boyfriend's mother checking out my who-ha to make sure it was ok...... not at all, lol. But I guess that's life. </p> <p>Good luck making your decision! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/long-feelings-about-knowing-your-lampd-staff#post-254171 Fri, 10 Aug 2012 07:38:12 +0000 mrs. bird 254171@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Still not KU, but went over my maternity/prenatal ins coverage with ins company last week. I have a lower cost option or a higher cost option. The deductibles are $1750 for the higher cost or $750 for the lower. They are based on cost for care, not that the higher cost is always a better hospital. We have 2 hospitals in our small city. One is the higher cost, one is the lower cost option. We don't have any birthing centers close by.</p> <p>My dr is affiliated with the lower cost hospital. Which would normally be awesome, because I actually prefer that hospital for things anyway, but my mom works there, in maternity, and I know all the nurses, many of them were there when I was born &amp; were at my wedding! I've nannied for some of the drs. The whole thing is a little too close for my comfort! I also had a miscarriage when I was younger that I'd prefer to keep private, even if my mom didn't see my chart, it feels wrong for the nurses to know, but not my mom. then there's the whole birthing in front of them and learning to bf and all that stuff that's normally kind of private. </p> <p>If I want to go to the other hospital, which I don't like, I'd have to find a new dr, it would cost an extra $1000 in the deductible plus I'd have to pay more for all my labs/tests done prenatally. But I'd have some privacy (not complete, since I have an aunt who works maternity there too, haha). I'd still want my mom in the room either way, but I wouldn't know most of the other people. </p> <p>What would you do? Start looking for a new dr &amp; pay the $1000+ or get over it &amp; accept that this will not be a private event? Will my feelings change, would being around people I know be a comforting thing while giving birth? Anyone know their maternity staff? How did you feel going into it &amp; after the fact? I'd like to figure this out by the time I get pregnant because I'm not a fan of switching drs, especially in the middle of a pregnancy. </p>