https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 05 May 2026 18:12:52 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/long-term-unmarried-couples#post-740484 Wed, 24 Apr 2013 17:14:58 +0000 rachiecakes 740484@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@autumnlove: DH and I were together 11 years before getting married! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/long-term-unmarried-couples#post-739967 Wed, 24 Apr 2013 13:40:35 +0000 Mrs. Champagne 739967@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH and I were together almost 9 years before we got married :) But we had been together since high school!</p> <p>My aunt/uncle have been together for almost 25 years and aren't married.. but they are engaged apparently (and have been for most of the 25 years). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/long-term-unmarried-couples#post-739956 Wed, 24 Apr 2013 13:37:24 +0000 autumnlove 739956@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@birdofafeather: Yea! My friends started dating freshman year. She has been pushing for marriage for about 10 years. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/long-term-unmarried-couples#post-739951 Wed, 24 Apr 2013 13:35:01 +0000 plaidpants 739951@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My dad and girlfriend have been together for more than 10 years now. He always said he'd never get married again after he and my mom divorced. I guess he wasn't kidding! </p> <p>The only reason I wish they'd get married is so that she'd have some say in my dad's care if anything happened to him. I will feel terrible if he ends up in the hospital and she's not considered family. And I wouldn't mind calling her my stepmom, instead of "my dad's girlfriend." I really like her! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/long-term-unmarried-couples#post-739947 Wed, 24 Apr 2013 13:34:44 +0000 Mrsjets 739947@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ktgee04: I love that Goldie Hawn quote too! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/long-term-unmarried-couples#post-739848 Wed, 24 Apr 2013 13:03:10 +0000 birdofafeather 739848@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>wow! my friends dated for 9 years before they got married, but they also started dating in HS, so i don't think it's *that* weird. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/long-term-unmarried-couples#post-739483 Wed, 24 Apr 2013 11:16:03 +0000 lomom 739483@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaMoose: this kind of situation is why i felt strongly about getting married even though DH and I already owned a house, cars, etc. together. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/long-term-unmarried-couples#post-739457 Wed, 24 Apr 2013 11:06:48 +0000 teamjse 739457@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH and I were together for 15 years before tying the knot. We didn't have a special proposal or an engagement ring, I didn't want any of that. We went out and looked at wedding rings, Harry Winston took our order, we decided on our wedding date on the escalators and gave each other high fives. The date wasn't hard, we got married a day before our 16 years anniversary (even though most people thought we got married on the actual day) at city hall. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/long-term-unmarried-couples#post-739344 Wed, 24 Apr 2013 10:45:09 +0000 yin 739344@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My sister dated her husband for 11+ years before they were married. She is 13 years older than me, and I got married a year before she did. There was no super cute proposal. One day they just decided to go through it since he had a business trip in Hawaii. They planned their small wedding in a few months and no family was invited. It was really weird. Plus none of my family like this guy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/long-term-unmarried-couples#post-739271 Wed, 24 Apr 2013 10:22:14 +0000 Lozza 739271@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have friends who just got married after being together about 12 years... they've owned a house together for about 10 years and have two kids, the youngest of whom is about 4. </p> <p>I wouldn't have thought it was odd except for the fact that she was constantly making comments about how he wouldn't marry her, or "if he ever decides to marry me..." etc., and not really in a purely joking way. So we kind of got the impression that it was not a joint decision, that she'd have preferred to get married. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/long-term-unmarried-couples#post-739166 Wed, 24 Apr 2013 10:04:23 +0000 ktgee04 739166@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I always thought the notion of waking up every day and making a conscious decision to be together was pretty romantic. It's not an obligation but something you decide to do for the right reasons. I think I heard that from Goldie Hawn when describing her relationship to Kurt Russell. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/long-term-unmarried-couples#post-739121 Wed, 24 Apr 2013 09:51:47 +0000 sera_87 739121@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My cousin was with her (now) husband for 10-11 yrs before getting married. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/long-term-unmarried-couples#post-739113 Wed, 24 Apr 2013 09:48:59 +0000 loveisstrange 739113@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I know several people who refuse to marry until gay marriage is legalized.</p> <p>I think that if DH hadn't joined the military, we wouldn't be married. We would probably be one of those couples who just lived together forever and had kids but never made it official. The military issue threw a wrench into it though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/long-term-unmarried-couples#post-739104 Wed, 24 Apr 2013 09:46:28 +0000 Mrsjets 739104@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I started dating DH in high school and we moved in together pretty soon after we graduated. We got our education, jobs and flipped some houses - marriage wasn't really important to us at the time. We started talking about a forever home, marriage and kids seriously at about 9 years in. Engaged at 10 years, married at 11 and baby at 12. I'm glad we waited, we really became adults together so I'm glad we didn't rush and enjoyed the process. </p> <p>I do have to say my marriage means so much more to me now than I ever thought it would...considering 'its just a piece of paper' </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/long-term-unmarried-couples#post-738914 Wed, 24 Apr 2013 08:49:54 +0000 bunnylove08 738914@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>my friend's boyfriend does not believe in marriage and they've been together for about 7 years. My DH and I dated for about 8 years before we tied the knot. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/long-term-unmarried-couples#post-738905 Wed, 24 Apr 2013 08:47:56 +0000 cascademom 738905@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My DH's ex-girlfriend didn't marry until they were together since halfway through college, by that time, it had been 7 years or so. Before DH and I got engaged and married, she was adamant against marriage. Soon after we married, they married within a year and were already pregnant at their wedding. We waited until we had two years of marriage under our belt to try for kids. It's amazing how her timeline changed once DH and I married.</p> <p>ETA: DH and I dated for 5 years before we married. We got engaged a little after 4 years and married 5 years to the day we had our first date. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/long-term-unmarried-couples#post-738851 Wed, 24 Apr 2013 08:25:16 +0000 MamaMoose 738851@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband's aunt and her significant other were engaged for 25 years and never had any plans to actually marry. She passed away unexpectedly last summer at the age of 49 and I think her fiance really regretted that they never married. From an emotional stand point and a logistical one. She had a heart attack and during the time they were trying to revive her he had no rights whatsoever and all decisions fell on her mother, and handling her estate was a bit awkward too since he was not her spouse he didn't have any legal claims, but the family wanted to do the right thing for him, they just weren't sure what that was since she didn't have a will. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/long-term-unmarried-couples#post-738841 Wed, 24 Apr 2013 08:20:08 +0000 Alivoo01 738841@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We know a few couples that have been together for what seems like forever, and have no desire to be married. They act and live like they're married, but just aren't! In Texas, if you get married, it's automatic that your spouse legally owns half of whatever you have! Guess they don't want to lose half of their belongings should a divorce arise in the future? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/long-term-unmarried-couples#post-738831 Wed, 24 Apr 2013 08:16:12 +0000 Mrs. Pickle 738831@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My grandmother doesn't want to marry her boyfriend. They have been together for at least ten years, he lives with her and supports her. She says she's been married enough times. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/long-term-unmarried-couples#post-738781 Wed, 24 Apr 2013 07:57:10 +0000 Honeybee 738781@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jacks: Plus it's not like their marriages would be recognized here anyway. :/ so frustrating. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/long-term-unmarried-couples#post-738779 Wed, 24 Apr 2013 07:56:23 +0000 Honeybee 738779@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I know a few couples in long-term commited relationships. One couple has been together almost 30 years. Both were married before and just didn't want to get remarried after their respective divorces. Truthfully, I wasn't that into marriage before I met my husband and if marriage wasn't important to him, I would have been happy without it. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/long-term-unmarried-couples#post-738778 Wed, 24 Apr 2013 07:56:13 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 738778@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>One of our set of friends have one child and one on the way. They are very committed but don't believe in the institution of marriage.</p> <p>Many of our gay friends are not married yet because they are waiting until it is legal in the whole country. They own houses together, have babies and hopefully soon will have the same rights as heterosexual couples. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/long-term-unmarried-couples#post-738773 Wed, 24 Apr 2013 07:53:39 +0000 yellowbird 738773@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yep!! My dad and step mom were together for 16 years before they got married in 2011. My dad proposed to her just a few months after I got engaged. Weird! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/long-term-unmarried-couples#post-738760 Wed, 24 Apr 2013 07:47:27 +0000 Mrs. Jump Rope 738760@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My neighbors have been together for over 10 years. They have a house, two kids and two cars together. They don't have any plans to get married, either! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/long-term-unmarried-couples#post-738707 Wed, 24 Apr 2013 07:16:51 +0000 lavender 738707@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH and I dated 9 years before we got married. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/long-term-unmarried-couples#post-738703 Wed, 24 Apr 2013 07:12:02 +0000 lomom 738703@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@tequiero21: yeah. Not sure of all the details but it was him who moved out. She had a party not long after they split and it was at their house. </p> <p>My cousin also says she has no desire to get married. She and her bf have been together several years and have a 3 year old. She was married before and he has several other kids. I'm not sure why she doesn't want to get married but she says she doesn't. She posts a lot of wedding-type stuff on Facebook though. I think it's probably somewhat related to him having other kids and multiple baby mamas and all the child support issues that go along with a situation like that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/long-term-unmarried-couples#post-738692 Wed, 24 Apr 2013 07:00:14 +0000 heffalump 738692@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have a friend who waited around 7 years to get married, I thought that was a long time. It probably seemed long because they were serious and living together and I hadn't even met DH yet, meanwhile in that time I met DH, got engaged, got married, and had a baby.... and they still weren't engaged. They had some religious differences in their families so it was hard for them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/long-term-unmarried-couples#post-738631 Wed, 24 Apr 2013 05:30:39 +0000 Dandelion 738631@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My inlaws were together for 15 years before they got married. But, they moved in together and had a baby (dh's little brother) years before they got married. DH was 3 when his mom moved in with his step dad. They only got married to make my MIL's father happy and cause he was paying for the wedding. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/long-term-unmarried-couples#post-738625 Wed, 24 Apr 2013 05:20:51 +0000 SugarplumsMom 738625@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Most couples remain unmarried here. It's the norm in Sweden. There's no tax advantages for married couples and people aren't very religious. Because it's so common, there isn't a negative association with being unmarried. There's even a word for it, "sambo" and it's roughly equivalent to being a common-law-wife/husband. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/long-term-unmarried-couples#post-738620 Wed, 24 Apr 2013 04:03:18 +0000 tequiero21 738620@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@septemberlove: what? He let her have the house?!</p> <p>I know a couple who dated 12 years? Before they got married. I think it's been 5 years(?) now, with 2 kids. </p> <p>I know one couple who've been together forever. They have no plans to get married or have kids. That want like that years ago. Not sure what happened. She just says they don't feel the need to get married. </p>