https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 05 Apr 2026 06:43:48 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/los-bad-behaviour-with-grandma#post-2439812 Thu, 28 Jan 2016 10:15:35 +0000 plantains 2439812@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@blackbird: this is my DD to a tee. She is the most authentic person I know. She doesn't like forced affection and she needs her personal space. I feel like my mum sonetimes doesn't consider the fact that she is essentially a stranger and tries to push the constant hugging too much and too soon. I am already seeing huge improvement though at 3.5 so I'm hoping she will grow out of it eventually. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/los-bad-behaviour-with-grandma#post-2439367 Thu, 28 Jan 2016 00:18:01 +0000 Freckles 2439367@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Autumnmama79: @plantains: They actually FT every week, or at least talk on the phone once a week. I was really surprised this time around because LO1 was so happy when she saw my mom, and was all over her. But a part of me wonders if it was just too much at once (and not as much time with me)? I think i may have to go back to being more consistent in supporting their Facetime chats.</p> <p>@Andrea: I hope she outgrows it - good to know your LO outgrew it eventually. I had such high hopes after the first day with thoughts of being able to leave her with the grandparents while DH and i go on a child-free trip. :silly: </p> <p>@blackbird: aww, that's what i don't want to be like, but it's hard! LO1 told me she didn't like grandma, and when i asked her why she just shrugged. I don't want her to be scared to tell me these things, but obviously i want to figure out a way to improve the situation. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/los-bad-behaviour-with-grandma#post-2438028 Tue, 26 Jan 2016 19:41:39 +0000 blackbird 2438028@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I distinctly remember that there was a time where I felt uncomfortable around the grandparents I saw once or twice a year and when I told my mom, she was so upset and hurt, I was sorry I told her. They were essentially strangers you know? I didn't like forced affection, even back then. I agree that with Skype nowadays, that would help a lot </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/los-bad-behaviour-with-grandma#post-2437926 Tue, 26 Jan 2016 17:44:20 +0000 Autumnmama79 2437926@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Aw, this would make me feel sad and frustrated too. I find that age to be so finicky and still quite difficult to reason with them. </p> <p>Could Grandma write or send postcards/pictures to LO throughout the year to help foster a relationship? You and LO could write back, you write down her ideas and she decorates the envelope with stickers? Could they Skype once a month? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/los-bad-behaviour-with-grandma#post-2437919 Tue, 26 Jan 2016 17:26:52 +0000 Andrea 2437919@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Freckles: Sure, we had one visit where DD2 cried for a whole week with my MIL. It's a total crap shoot since we barely see each other. Maybe things like FaceTime could help, but my MIL didn't have it until recently and now DD2 doesn't cry with her anymore but she still doesn't want to be around my dad and she sees him on FT. So who knows. Some kids are just like this, but I think it'll be outgrown because DD1 used to be like this, too! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/los-bad-behaviour-with-grandma#post-2437900 Tue, 26 Jan 2016 16:58:48 +0000 Freckles 2437900@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Andrea: Thanks for the feedback. Did you ever feel frustrated? In the past, there was always the warm up period, but this time she was super excited to see her and spend time with her and then bam, i don't like you anymore!! :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/los-bad-behaviour-with-grandma#post-2437899 Tue, 26 Jan 2016 16:57:55 +0000 plantains 2437899@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mum lives in London so we only see her once a year and my DD is like this with her too. It is getting better as I am making a more conscious effort to FaceTine every week. I think it will just have to improve with age or more frequent visits. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/los-bad-behaviour-with-grandma#post-2437894 Tue, 26 Jan 2016 16:51:23 +0000 Andrea 2437894@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We've had this since we also only see the grandparents once a year. They'll come and stay for 1-2 weeks and there used to be a warm up period, but it's gotten better now that the kids are older. Since they're staying with you, I think the kids can feel threatened. You left and went to work so she might feel like you'll leave her with grandma and never come back. I would just do what you're doing and tell her that you can't be rude. She'll probably be better during grandma's next visit because then DD will remember that grandma came and went, but mama's still here! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/los-bad-behaviour-with-grandma#post-2437856 Tue, 26 Jan 2016 16:08:31 +0000 Freckles 2437856@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We live far away from family (both sides) and probably only see them a few times a year. LO1 used to have major anxiety around the grandparents but has been great with them in the last year or so since turning 3 years old.</p> <p>My mom recently came to visit for a week, and the first two days were so good! I let her stay home on the second day and she spent most of the day with my mom while i was at the office. Because DH was away and i had to put LO2 to bed, i asked my mom to take her to gymnastics. Unfortunately, she got lost and she didn't really get to take part in the class for too long. </p> <p>On the third day, my sister came to visit and things were okay...but LO1 was visibly unhappy to be around my mom. She started to become really rude to my mom, saying things like, "i'm going to checkmark you." (it's what the kids say at school when they don't like someone). She would make a face every time she came near her. Last night, she dragged my mom upstairs to do "exercises" but once LO turned on the ipad, she changed her mind and started looking at book review videos. Once my mom said that was enough, and she already watched 3, she said "i'm not going to be nice to you anymore" and walked out of the room. :shocked: What the hell!</p> <p>Her behaviour is so erratic - most of the time she doesn't want to talk to my mom or let her touch anything of hers, but once in a while she will be really sweet to her. But i honestly can't tell if she is only being nice so she can watch videos on her phone!</p> <p>I got really mad at her over the weekend because i was trying to move the stroller out of the aisle at the farmer's market but because LO1 was trying to get away from my mom, she continued to block me from moving LO2's stroller. </p> <p>I have tried to talk to her - asking whether she would like it if her friend yelled or wasn't nice to me, and how i would feel the same because her grandma is my mom. </p> <p>I am beyond frustrated and hurt by her behaviour. My mom was just "oh, she's just a child - just let it be" and DH thinks it's normal kid behaviour (which is just bs since he gets upset when she doesn't want to talk to his parents). No one i know can relate because all of their kids see their grandparents all the time.</p> <p>Any advice on how to address this? </p>