https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 30 Apr 2026 20:23:43 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/losing-husband-anxiety#post-206734 Fri, 29 Jun 2012 14:35:49 +0000 twinmama 206734@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've always been a worrier, and pregnancy has exacerbated that for sure!</p> <p>Hubby has made a big effort to be even more 'available' since I've been pregnant. Keeps his phone in his pocket instead of his coat at work, and made me a list of his co-workers who can always track him down if he's in a meeting or something. That sort of thing. I think there are little things the guys can do (like Mrs. Wagon said too) to help quell our fears :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/losing-husband-anxiety#post-206680 Fri, 29 Jun 2012 13:52:31 +0000 meaganceleste 206680@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I sometimes have freak out moments like that, but I know that I often leave my phone in my purse all morning at work and miss a bunch of texts, so I don't freak out unless its a really unusual situation. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/losing-husband-anxiety#post-206623 Fri, 29 Jun 2012 13:05:05 +0000 ladyfingers 206623@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes! I was like this even before getting pregnant. But now it's even worse. He was cleaning our gutters a couple of weeks ago and my friend and I went to lunch, and I was so freaked out that he would fall from the ladder and crack his head open that I texted him a million times at lunch to make sure he was OK. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/losing-husband-anxiety#post-206146 Fri, 29 Jun 2012 08:18:24 +0000 mrsjyw 206146@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>seriously stop! TWINS.</p> <p>i never used to think twice if i didnt get a reply text or call or checkin throughout the day-- but i've def had more than one experience in the last few weeks of random panic. while i know logically that there is an explanation, my imagination always goes to the worst possible scenario of something happening to DH. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/losing-husband-anxiety#post-202187 Tue, 26 Jun 2012 13:36:08 +0000 SusieQ 202187@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've been more worried about losing my husband since I've been pregnant. Once he was supposed to pick me up from a friend's house and he was ten minutes late and he didn't answer his phone and I was convinced that he had died in a car crash. I was seriously on the verge of tears when he showed up. Turns out he just didn't answer because he was almost to me. </p> <p>It's not fun to have those kinds of thoughts swirling around in your head, but I think it's kind of normal. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/losing-husband-anxiety#post-202169 Tue, 26 Jun 2012 13:20:01 +0000 dagret 202169@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I actually used to have this problem before we got pregnant, (ie: what if I don't even have a baby to remember him by) but now that I'm pregnant it isn't happening as often. Weird. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/losing-husband-anxiety#post-202168 Tue, 26 Jun 2012 13:19:09 +0000 cyneswith 202168@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Awwww! I'm suddenly glad that my husband often leaves his phone behind (since he can't take it into work) - it's much harder for me to panic when I can't find him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/losing-husband-anxiety#post-202119 Tue, 26 Jun 2012 12:49:34 +0000 Modern Daisy 202119@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm not pregnant, but DH is actually worse about this than I am! I'm sooo not a phone person and when I'm out with friends, in a meeting at work or traveling I like to just 'be' and not be constantly updating everyone who isn't there. So it's actually one of the first 'issues' we had to work on with our relationship! As a result I'm much better now about keeping DH in the loop when we're apart.</p> <p>The only time I ever get panicky is when DH is out with his friends drinking and I'm home alone. Those nights are so rare now that when they do happen he'll be out until 3 or 4 am easily. I do a combo of worrying about his wellbeing AND freaking myself out about a potential home invasion. I've definitely learned how to make myself calm down and not be so needy while he's out, but I still CANNOT sleep until he gets home. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/losing-husband-anxiety#post-202114 Tue, 26 Jun 2012 12:47:35 +0000 banana 202114@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>YES! Whenever my DH goes out late with his friends and he doesn't text me or call me when he said he would (he's usually really good about this), I start freaking out. My "go to" freak out situation is that he got in a bad car accident and his phone was ruined so nobody knew whom to contact. I hate having these ugly thoughts in my head but I get sooooo freaked out. When he finally calls me, I get so mad and start yelling because i was so scared. I guess I depend on him a lot more than I thought I did. =\ </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/losing-husband-anxiety#post-202107 Tue, 26 Jun 2012 12:44:18 +0000 mrskc 202107@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had this problem a few times even before I was pregnant. If I can't get a hold of him, I start freaking out. My mind automatically goes to a dark place and I picture him dead somewhere. I start getting freaked out until I can reach him. He knows I get anxiety about this, so he stays in touch. </p> <p>But since I've been pregnant, I've had a lot more thoughts about losing him. I think about what would happen if something happened to him before the baby is even born. I can't do this with out him! I think it's a normal fear while pregnant. I also don't like being away from him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/losing-husband-anxiety#post-202105 Tue, 26 Jun 2012 12:44:06 +0000 Running Elley 202105@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This happens to me ALL the time. I always call him when I get off work and if he doesn’t answer I assume that he’s been in a horrible car accident or had a heart attack while he’s driving (he’s a salesman and spends the day driving to and from different accounts). If I ever get a call from a local number that I don’t know I ALWAYS assume that it’s someone calling to tell me that my husband has been in an accident or is dead. I panic! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/losing-husband-anxiety#post-202099 Tue, 26 Jun 2012 12:39:35 +0000 eeh 202099@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>More often than not I have no clue where my husband is and don't have any way of contacting him except through the emergency dispatcher at his work. I'll wake up in the morning and he'll be gone and I have no idea what time he left, where he went (aside from knowing he's at work), or when he'll be home (could be a couple hours or it could be a couple days). He's gotten better about leaving me a note saying where's he's going/when he got called so I can figure 12 hours from that and know he'll either be home by then or will be able to call and tell me he has to stay the night.</p> <p>At 34 weeks pregnant I haven't really started freaking out about this because that's how it's been our entire relationship. Once my due date is closer we're hoping he'll be able to stay closer to home but it will still require a call to the emergency dispatch to get ahold of him. Luckily I have an awesome support system with tons of people I can call if I need a ride to the hospital or someone to come sit with me until he's home. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/losing-husband-anxiety#post-202091 Tue, 26 Jun 2012 12:33:31 +0000 mrs. wagon 202091@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have these thoughts all the time. If I can't get in touch with him when he's run out for an errand, I always think the worst... armed robber in the ATM vestibule, etc. I start going through the process of thinking about finding his body, calling the police, watching them pronounce his death, planning the funeral, moving back in with my parents, trying to marry again?!?!? Or not?!??!? It gets me crazy down and I get so unbelievably sad. I hate it but I just can't help myself. </p> <p>Wagon Sr. hates when I do this so he makes himself as available as possible at all times. He even texts or IMs me before he goes into a meeting at work and lets me know how long the meeting will be, just so that I know how long I won't be able to get in touch with him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/losing-husband-anxiety#post-202065 Tue, 26 Jun 2012 12:10:54 +0000 pastemoo 202065@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I used to do that when he was deployed but while pregnant I had already learned my coping mechanisms so it didn't happen anymore. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/losing-husband-anxiety#post-202040 Tue, 26 Jun 2012 11:57:47 +0000 Lozza 202040@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Bee: I totally have my "if DH died" plan. I'd quit my current job, move back in with my parents, and go back to work for my old employer in my former city and my mom would watch LO part-time and send him to preschool part-time. Does that make us morbid?<br /> DH can't take his cell phone into his office, and doesn't have internet access. It's annoying enough when I'm not pregnant, but drove me batty when I was knocked up. But then I was crazy in general, so in the greater scheme of things that particular brand of crazy didn't even rate. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/losing-husband-anxiety#post-202013 Tue, 26 Jun 2012 11:36:18 +0000 Shimmer 202013@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I feel the same way now that I'm pregnant... I freak out if I can't get in touch with him and automatically get stuck on worst-case-scenario mode. I see a therapist for anxiety issues and he says that this is actually a pretty normal feeling to have during pregnancy, so I don't feel like such a nut for it! It's a desire to protect our newly forming families and make sure everyone is okay! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/losing-husband-anxiety#post-201960 Tue, 26 Jun 2012 11:15:41 +0000 LuLu Mom 201960@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I do this when he's out with friends and not answering his phone. I know he is usually drinking, so I freak out that he decided to drive instead of calling me and is either in a ditch or jail. he makes smart decisions but I still freak out (and have dreams about this a lot!) I'm very against drinking and driving and he knows it. For some reason this is always my fear. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/losing-husband-anxiety#post-201938 Tue, 26 Jun 2012 11:05:49 +0000 Mrs. Bee 201938@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i used to do that allll the time. i always thought he was dead if i couldn't get ahold of him! not so much anymore though. maybe we've been married too long. although i do regularly think what i would do with the kids if he died. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/losing-husband-anxiety#post-201926 Tue, 26 Jun 2012 10:57:30 +0000 Smurfette 201926@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I do this all the time only I am not pregnant. DH travels for work, so if I text him in the morning and I don't hear from him for hours I start thinking he is dead in his hotel room or something. I have way to over active imagination. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/losing-husband-anxiety#post-201920 Tue, 26 Jun 2012 10:51:38 +0000 DillonLion 201920@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is sort of a spin-off on the hormonal pregnancy thread, but I've noticed that I freak out really quickly if I don't know where my husband is or if I can't get a hold of him. </p> <p>Example 1: I was working a wedding on a Saturday a couple of months ago, and sent DH a text to check-in with him and didn't hear anything back. Nor did he answer any of my phone calls or texts for the following 5 hours. He usually is really prompt with answering me, so I immediately started to freak out that something terrible had happened to him. I even called our neighbor friend to see if he had heard from him or could go over and check on him. It turned out DH had just left his phone in the car. </p> <p>Example 2: Last night, I got home from the nail salon and DH was nowhere to be found. All of our cars were in the driveway, but his wallet and cell phone was gone. He didn't answer when I called. I had no idea where he could have gone without driving, so I knew he must be outside somewhere. And with the temperatures over 100 degrees everyday lately, I was convinced he got heat stroke and was laying in a ditch somewhere. It turns out he had just ridden his bike to the gas station and didn't hear his phone ring. </p> <p>I'm not usually such a psycho, crazy person! Surely, if he isn't answering his phone, there's a valid excuse. But, lately I seem to immediately jump to the worst possible conclusions and work myself into a frenzy. And then feel totally angry at him when he finally turns up again. </p> <p>I think I just feel really vulnerable because of the pregnancy and have anxiety about losing him a lot more than I used to. Anyone else have this going on? </p>