https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 17 Apr 2026 10:43:32 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lying-to-your-kids#post-35769 Sat, 17 Dec 2011 10:25:03 +0000 Rosie Girl 35769@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MsMamaBear: Thats what I think too. I was reading the news last night and DS saw a picture of an ambulance and asked what happened. I wasn't going to tell him the truth, it would haunt him! So I told him someone got hurt. </p> <p>I'm worried that if my friends DH decides to tell their son that Santa is not real, the son will tell my DS. I don't want him to know until he is older! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lying-to-your-kids#post-35725 Sat, 17 Dec 2011 06:50:46 +0000 MsMamaBear 35725@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Santa will come here. Just hope not other kid ruins it for her at 4yrs old! I teach Pre-K and every yr we have a kid who doesn't believe who wants to tell everyone he isn't real. I get it at 10, but four? They are still little! It irritates me to no end. Anyway, little lies are fine, but the truth isn't always the best. A little girl was raped, beaten &amp; killed here recently. IF my daughter had found about a little girl was hurt, no way in hell woulld I tell her the truth. What good would it do? Her mental capacity isn't there. I'd tell her, IF she asked, someone was hurt, but not raped, beaten &amp; killed. Oh yeah. I'm a mom of a 3month old. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lying-to-your-kids#post-35699 Sat, 17 Dec 2011 00:47:40 +0000 daniellemybelle 35699@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom told me white lies (Santa, "oops, no more gum in my purse!", etc.) and I find her to be one of the most honest and trustworthy people I know. I guess that's anecdotal evidence, but I have never met anyone who experienced anything to the extreme contrary. I'm not worried about it and will tell my kids harmless lies if appropriate. I don't think you should use them out of lazy parenting, though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lying-to-your-kids#post-35681 Fri, 16 Dec 2011 23:28:33 +0000 Rosie Girl 35681@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ecogirl: "Has anyone here really felt like they had a traumatic or life altering experience when they found out Santa wasn't real?" That is exactly what my friend said! I don't know anyone that it dramatically effected. It was a "darn, but I guess that makes sense" moment. </p> <p>I don't think you should lie about huge important life issues. I think you should try to talk and explain them to your kids in a way they understand. But, little things, like batteries, or Dairy Queen being out of cones (oh yes, I used that one the other day!) isn't going to make my children not trust me or respect me. Or traumatize them.</p> <p>I also want to add that my son believes in Santa, but we also tell him about the reason we celebrate Christmas (which is Jesus' birthday) and sing songs about it and read stories about it.</p> <p>I grew up knowing that we celebrated Christmas because it was the day Jesus was born, but I also believed in Santa. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lying-to-your-kids#post-35627 Fri, 16 Dec 2011 20:52:03 +0000 cyndistar3 35627@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I totally tell my child we don't have anymore batteries when they run out... and she believes in Santa. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lying-to-your-kids#post-35567 Fri, 16 Dec 2011 18:26:55 +0000 runsyellowlites 35567@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ecogirl: Yea... we've talked about it GREATLY with him to not say anything... although it's more an avoidance/deflection b/c I'd never tell him to lie. He has slipped when an adult asks him about it though and he loudly responds. UGH.. it's so frustrating.... but he knows &amp; (for the most part) remembers to just smile, nod, say thanks, and just let it go rather than "correct" anyone. lol </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lying-to-your-kids#post-35565 Fri, 16 Dec 2011 18:23:02 +0000 ecogirl 35565@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@runsyellowlights That sounds like a deeper problem to me. I think most kids figure it out before the parents realize and pretend to believe for the parents sake. On that note, I do hope that you would make sure your child says nothing and lies to his/her friends so as not to ruin the magic for other children. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lying-to-your-kids#post-35536 Fri, 16 Dec 2011 17:31:05 +0000 runsyellowlites 35536@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ecogirl: I had a friend that was totally traumatized about it and just about refused to believe it and remember a couple kids in my class literally break down crying when they found out. I know not all kids freak out but I have known some who did... And then know 2 who believed in Santa until they were in their late teens. Not sure how that one happened but they did. lol </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lying-to-your-kids#post-35533 Fri, 16 Dec 2011 17:26:04 +0000 ecogirl 35533@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh I would never ruin the magic and excitement that comes from Santa, the tooth fairy, the Easter bunny and the like. Has anyone here really felt like they had a traumatic or life altering experience when they found out Santa wasn't real? I learned from my sister and had a flash of disappointment and surprise and then went to unwrap my gifts haha :) I have yet to see any study linking not allowing those fables and fairytales and your child coming to you with problems later in life. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lying-to-your-kids#post-35524 Fri, 16 Dec 2011 16:58:58 +0000 HabesBabe 35524@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Lozza: Uh, this will be me. Totally. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lying-to-your-kids#post-35485 Fri, 16 Dec 2011 16:26:55 +0000 Lozza 35485@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So here's another issue with lying... sometimes it's really hard to create surprises without some lying.<br /> I am the queen of spoilers, so I would always prefer to be in-the-know, but my husband LOVES surprises and 100% supports me lying to him in order to preserve a good surprise. (He does this to me too, but I don't have the appreciation. He was in charge of planning our honeymoon and he had me totally convinced we were going on a cruise around Florida- which, um, isn't so great for a couple who doesn't love the outdoors and gets motion sick- before he surprised me with tickets to Bangkok).<br /> If I have a kid who gets a kick out of surprises, I have no problem being like "Hmm, I'm not sure if Santa is getting you a bike for Christmas" and then "Oh look! A bike!" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lying-to-your-kids#post-35483 Fri, 16 Dec 2011 16:21:54 +0000 Modern Daisy 35483@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree about kids being on a need to know basis. If it will avoid a tantrum and make things smoother, I would probably lie about anything. Of course I say all this before even being pregnant, so who knows, lol! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lying-to-your-kids#post-35482 Fri, 16 Dec 2011 16:21:51 +0000 MrsBrewer 35482@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@runsyellowlites: Excellent answer, when I have kids I hope to raise them in a household like that! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lying-to-your-kids#post-35476 Fri, 16 Dec 2011 16:17:42 +0000 winniebee 35476@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Lozza: LOL to all of this.</p> <p>I never really thought about this. But I don't see the harm in lies re: Santa, Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny. It's part of the fun of being a kid! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lying-to-your-kids#post-35472 Fri, 16 Dec 2011 16:14:29 +0000 chopsuey 35472@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't believe in lying to my children--no santa, easter bunny, tooth fairy, etc. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lying-to-your-kids#post-35468 Fri, 16 Dec 2011 16:12:29 +0000 plantains 35468@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I believe that kids are on a need to know basis and I have no problem with 'lying' to them about things like Santa, the batteries, the Easter Bunny. I also believe that teher are some things that kids are too young to learn about/understand and that includes any heavy emotional info on exes etc. I just don't think it is fair to burden a child with that kind of information at 5. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lying-to-your-kids#post-35464 Fri, 16 Dec 2011 16:08:08 +0000 Mrsbells 35464@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm not going to tell my kids that santa is real. I personally have never understood the fun in teaching kids about santa. As a christian I grew up understanding that santa was a fun fictional character but that christmas was really about the birth of Christ, rather than about santa, reindeer and presents. I want my kids to understand that right from start too.</p> <p>ETA, there is one thing to tell a lie about no batteries but telling a kid that santa is real is not a little lie, its quite a big lie thats supported by the media and the entire world really. Its a big deal to most kids, and most kids are very upset when they realize that there is no santa. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lying-to-your-kids#post-35462 Fri, 16 Dec 2011 16:01:11 +0000 yoursilverlining 35462@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don’t see anything wrong with lying to children about certain subjects. They are not adults and don’t have the capacity, knowledge and background to understand and evaluate plenty of things/subjects that they might ask about. I’ve seen parents be brutally honest about whatever their child asks, and then see the kid make a non-logical (but logical to a child) connection, which scares them more, or confuses them more. </p> <p>I think we’ll handle "white lies" on a situational basis, and like Lozza said, I'm sure we'll sometimes lie just because its easier like the park being closed example. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lying-to-your-kids#post-35455 Fri, 16 Dec 2011 15:55:15 +0000 runsyellowlites 35455@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have a no lying policy in our house which includes things like Santa, tooth fairy, Easter bunny, etc. I believe that even small lies root untrust &amp; as DS grows up I want him to be able to trust us.... I've seen so many teens not go to their parents because of lack of trust.</p> <p>After DS recently came home from his bio dads he told me that his dad said I ruined his life &amp; stole his childhood. When I asked DS is he agreed he said "yes! *insert ugly look*" so we talked about it &amp; I asked DS if he preferred for me to lie to him about it... He thought about for a sec &amp; his whole demeanor changed. He said no &amp; he understood.</p> <p>Even though DS is only 7 there have already been numerous times where someone told him something, he saw something, etc where he knew he could come to us &amp; talk about it because "I know you don't lie to me &amp; you tell the truth so you'll tell me the right thing or you'll find it"</p> <p>There is a whole world trying to deceive my kids, I want them to know that no matter what may be told/done to them they will always find truth &amp; honesty at home :) just my thoughts on it :)</p> <p>ETA: of course everything is explained in an age appropriate manner &amp; somethings are briefly explained ending with </p> <p>"as you get older you'll understand more but for now this is the best way we can explain it so you'll understand."</p> <p>DS usually responds with "okay" &amp; carries on. If he still wonders he may come back for clarification or such but usually he gets it. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lying-to-your-kids#post-35454 Fri, 16 Dec 2011 15:54:33 +0000 Lozza 35454@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh man, I plan on lying to my kid all the time.<br /> "Oh, we can't go to the park today, it's closed."<br /> "I'm sorry, honey, you can't play with that toy because the batteries are dead!"<br /> "No, I have no idea where that toy with the annoying repetitive noises went."<br /> "That is such a beautiful drawing! I will love and cherish it forever!" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lying-to-your-kids#post-35437 Fri, 16 Dec 2011 15:34:30 +0000 heffalump 35437@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd probably lie about both of those things. Is that bad? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lying-to-your-kids#post-35429 Fri, 16 Dec 2011 15:30:32 +0000 Andrea 35429@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it depends if you think the lie is going to have any long lasting impact. Santa? I don't think so. Just about every kid goes through finding out Santa isn't real and I am guessing most aren't traumatized into their adulthood by it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/lying-to-your-kids#post-35410 Fri, 16 Dec 2011 15:14:23 +0000 Rosie Girl 35410@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was over visiting my friend the other day, and she told me that her husband does not think they should lie to their kids at all. Ex: if one of her son's toys runs out of batteries, and she doesn't want to replace them, she will tell him that they don't have anymore batteries when they really do. Her husband doesn't think that is right. He doesn't think they should like about ANYTHING, including Santa. </p> <p>I can see the battery thing, even though I personally don't think its that big of a deal, but Santa?! What harm is there in letting your kids believe in something that a lot of other kids believe in too? </p> <p>What are your thoughts on lying to your kids? Lying about anything from batteries to Santa. Is there is difference too? </p>