https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 22 Apr 2026 21:46:31 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/maiden-name-and-kids/page/2#post-2489407 Wed, 09 Mar 2016 23:03:55 +0000 Finfan 2489407@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@rachiecakes: Yeah, my state only got marriage equality with the Supreme Court decision last summer so hopefully there has been some progress on this front here. We've been married almost 6 years. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/maiden-name-and-kids/page/2#post-2489403 Wed, 09 Mar 2016 22:56:45 +0000 rachiecakes 2489403@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Finfan: funny! all he had to do was write his 'intended legal name after marriage', but Massachusetts was also the first state to allow same sex marriage so both sides of the form are equal. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/maiden-name-and-kids/page/2#post-2489395 Wed, 09 Mar 2016 22:48:06 +0000 Finfan 2489395@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@rachiecakes: DH wanted to take my maiden name but we found out that it costs thousands of dollars for a man to change his name (have to go to court and publish legal notices in newspapers, etc.) all I had to do to change mine was check a box on the marriage license. </p> <p>I wanted to keep my maiden as my middle name but I was also told that was not allowed and would have to go through the same legal process. I don't like my middle name but I am too lazy to change it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/maiden-name-and-kids/page/2#post-2489391 Wed, 09 Mar 2016 22:45:08 +0000 Umberto 2489391@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm a little strange. I kept my maiden name, and now that I'm pregnant, soon I will be changing to my mum's maiden name (she raised me and I'm not at all close to my dad). Our kid/s will have both my (new) last name and my husbands. It will be quite a mouthful but it's something I'm not willing to budge on.<br /> When the kids are a little older if they want to shorten to just one name I will support that completely, even if it's just their dad's name. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/maiden-name-and-kids/page/2#post-2489338 Wed, 09 Mar 2016 21:25:08 +0000 farawayyama 2489338@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaCate: I kept my last name and we did the same, DD's second middle name is my last name.</p> <p>I am toying with changing at some point though, although likely just socially. I teach under Ms. Hislastname, to prevent kiddos getting access to my social media, and I kind of like it - it has better flow than my original name. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/maiden-name-and-kids/page/2#post-2489327 Wed, 09 Mar 2016 21:17:19 +0000 hony bologna 2489327@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband and I both changed our names to a hyphenated last name, which our daughter has as well. A hyphenated name isn't easy to deal with (for us and others), but it was a good compromise for our situation and I'm glad we all have the same last name. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/maiden-name-and-kids/page/2#post-2489324 Wed, 09 Mar 2016 21:14:29 +0000 MamaCate 2489324@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I kept my maiden and was set on that from before I met DH. He was fine with it. Both our kids have his last name and my last name as a second middle, like:<br /> FirstName FirstMiddle mylast hislast</p> <p>It has worked fine for us. I also grew up with a mom who kept her name so I was used to it. </p> <p>My parents are academics so they have friends and colleagues with a lot of solutions to this, like hyphens or one child having the dads last name and the other the mom's.</p> <p>I do have a friend who, after she got married, changed both of their names. Her DH did not have a good relationship with his dad and he didn't feel attached to that name, so they picked another family name, I think of the person who was like a real father figure to her DH. So now she, her DH and her baby all have that new name. I thought that was very creative! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/maiden-name-and-kids/page/2#post-2489317 Wed, 09 Mar 2016 21:08:27 +0000 avivoca 2489317@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I took my husband's name and our children will have it too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/maiden-name-and-kids/page/2#post-2489315 Wed, 09 Mar 2016 21:07:47 +0000 MamaCate 2489315@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsSCB: that is really sweet and thoughtful' </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/maiden-name-and-kids/page/2#post-2489303 Wed, 09 Mar 2016 20:45:17 +0000 wrkbrk 2489303@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not a poll option but I kept my name and DS has my last name as his middle name. I have several friends who did this as well! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/maiden-name-and-kids/page/2#post-2489276 Wed, 09 Mar 2016 20:10:18 +0000 Beth24 2489276@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I didn't change my name and my kids have/will have my husbands last name. We plan on using my maiden name as their middle name for future children. My mom didn't change hers so it's not that unusual to me. My dad, siblings, and I are the only people left with my last name and my brother will most likely not have kids so I really want to pass it on some way. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/maiden-name-and-kids/page/2#post-2489246 Wed, 09 Mar 2016 19:13:16 +0000 petitenoisette 2489246@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I changed my maiden name to my middle name and took my husband's last name. To me it was representative of us becoming a family (even though we didn't have kids yet!). I totally loved my maiden name too and many people call me by it (still do). </p> <p>It's a definite possibility that we will give our next child my maiden name as their middle name. It's actually used as a first name too but I think that'd be a bit strange since it's still the last name of a lot of our family! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/maiden-name-and-kids/page/2#post-2489227 Wed, 09 Mar 2016 18:58:35 +0000 sera_87 2489227@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>legally not allowed to change my name in my province. Boys have their dad's last name.</p> <p>I grew up with a mom who kept her maiden name and there was absolutely no confusion or whatever, so I didn't really worry about it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/maiden-name-and-kids/page/2#post-2489203 Wed, 09 Mar 2016 18:25:42 +0000 auggiefrog 2489203@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I loved this article by the way. It is pretty much exactly what I felt about the whole name change situation, and why, even through it can be a pain in the ass, I hyphenate versus just getting rid of my name. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/maiden-name-and-kids/page/2#post-2489196 Wed, 09 Mar 2016 18:18:19 +0000 auggiefrog 2489196@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I legally hyphenate, but often just use my maiden name informally/ socially. Our kids will have his last name. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/maiden-name-and-kids/page/2#post-2489182 Wed, 09 Mar 2016 18:01:26 +0000 Mommy Finger 2489182@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@HabesBabe: My SIL did the same thing and says the same. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/maiden-name-and-kids/page/2#post-2489178 Wed, 09 Mar 2016 17:55:10 +0000 HabesBabe 2489178@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I hyphenated (HUGE pain in the ass) and our kids have my husband's last name. I go by his/our last name socially. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/maiden-name-and-kids/page/2#post-2489112 Wed, 09 Mar 2016 16:56:09 +0000 MrsSCB 2489112@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh one thing I just remembered -- when we were talking about the baby to my ILs recently, my FIL suggested a name and said, "I don't know which last name the baby will have, but it would go with both!" I was really touched by that because I generally think of him as a relatively old-school guy. So seems like thoughts are changing on this subject, at least for some! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/maiden-name-and-kids/page/2#post-2489111 Wed, 09 Mar 2016 16:56:01 +0000 Ms maths 2489111@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have my birth name and my kids have DH's. I lobbied hard to give them my name, but it was a nonstarter with DH. It's one of the few issues where I have found him to be close-minded. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/maiden-name-and-kids/page/2#post-2489102 Wed, 09 Mar 2016 16:51:50 +0000 Torchwood 2489102@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I made my maiden name a middle name, legally, so I have two middle names. LO won't have my name at all. I think if I had it to do over, I would seriously consider going for a combo name for both of us (DH and me). But he felt pretty strongly about me taking his name, and it's what's expected, so really I think I can ignore the sexism on it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/maiden-name-and-kids/page/2#post-2489101 Wed, 09 Mar 2016 16:51:38 +0000 cam 2489101@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My wife and I kept our names when we got married. I carried our son and we gave him my wife's last name. We had to discuss it quite a bit since there's not really a "default" scenario. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/maiden-name-and-kids/page/2#post-2489099 Wed, 09 Mar 2016 16:50:40 +0000 Mrs. D 2489099@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It was important to my husband that I change it, so I did, although I would have kept it if it wasn't important to him.<br /> I was a Smiley, and eveyone has always told me what a perfect name it is for my chosen profession.<br /> I know in some cultures the wife doesn't take the husbands name, but the kids will have the husbands name. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/maiden-name-and-kids/page/2#post-2489097 Wed, 09 Mar 2016 16:48:58 +0000 lovehoneybee 2489097@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I changed my name right after we got married. Like as soon as I got the marriage certificate in the mail. My last name was okay (though constantly misspelled), but I LOVE LOVE LOVE my married name, and I was so excited for it to be mine. I did do that switcheroo where I dropped my middle name and replaced it with my maiden name, but 5 years on I'm not sure why, I had no attachment to my maiden name, and have only the barest of relationships with my father. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/maiden-name-and-kids#post-2489093 Wed, 09 Mar 2016 16:44:48 +0000 ChiCalGoBee 2489093@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I love my maiden name-it now is my middle name as I took my husband's last name when we got married. My husband lost his mom when we were first dating, and I do like that she and I are both Mrs. XXXXXX. Although I do miss using my maiden as my last name sometimes, I think it joins us so nicely as a family now that our son is here, and have no regrets about it. My son actually has my mom's maiden name as his middle name, and I've considered using my maiden name for a future child, too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/maiden-name-and-kids#post-2489092 Wed, 09 Mar 2016 16:44:08 +0000 Mrs.KMM 2489092@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I took DH's last name. I don't hold any strong attachment to my maiden name and I wanted DH and I to share a name as a family unit (and now DD shares it as well). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/maiden-name-and-kids#post-2489083 Wed, 09 Mar 2016 16:38:11 +0000 FannyMae 2489083@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I kept my maiden name for a long time after I got married, I lost my father when I had been married for 2 years and I didn't want to change it because I felt connected to him through my name.</p> <p>I had DD 2 years after he passed away, and I had still kept my maiden name. It was only after she started talking properly and could say her full name, Firstname Surname, and then when prompted would call me Mummy Surname (i.e. the same as her surname) that I decided I would change it. I realised that the same importance I placed on my surname - the connection to my dad - formed part of my daughter's connection to me. I've only used my husband's surname for a year now, married for almost 9 years. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/maiden-name-and-kids#post-2489058 Wed, 09 Mar 2016 16:27:34 +0000 lisa1783 2489058@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Kept my last name but my children have my maiden name as their second middle name and my husband's last name. So both children's full names are 4 long (First name, middle name, my maiden name, husband's last name). My husband's name is the same way so it's nice to keep that tradition going. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/maiden-name-and-kids#post-2488953 Wed, 09 Mar 2016 15:23:55 +0000 Mommy Finger 2488953@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@catlady: "The way I thought about it, it was just either my dad's last name or my husband's. It's not like my maiden name was "mine".<br /> That said, I can't stand it when I get mail addressed to me as Mrs. DHFirstName DHLastName. MIL does this all the time. It's like I got totally consumed by DH."</p> <p>I totally agree with what you said. I don't personally tie up my identity in my name so I was fine changing it. It was something that was important to DH and since I didn't care, why not?</p> <p>But I really don't care what you do. It's a personal decision. I have friends who have changed their names, kept their names, had their husband take their names, both hyphenated their names, both combined their names to something new. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/maiden-name-and-kids#post-2488952 Wed, 09 Mar 2016 15:23:02 +0000 hb3233 2488952@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I kept my last name. I do a lot of writing for work, and so changing my last name was not really an option as my body of work is all associated with my last name. We don't have kids yet but when we do I think they will have DH's last name. I'm sure it will create some confusion, but our names would sound ridiculous hyphenated. I know some women who didn't change their last name, for whatever reason, but use their husband's last name for stuff like PTA, etc, to cut down on confusion. I wouldn't be opposed to that if it made life easier. </p> <p>@catlady: I still get the Mrs. DH first name DH last name, even though I didn't change my name, people just assume... Many people gave us checks for our wedding written out to Mr. and Mrs. DH first name DH last name. I cannot walk into a bank and cash that, so they all went into DH's account! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/maiden-name-and-kids#post-2488941 Wed, 09 Mar 2016 15:16:03 +0000 Mamaof2 2488941@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@catlady: OMG my MIL does that too!! why??? </p>