https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 22 May 2026 19:07:20 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/major-guilt-spiralidea-drain-only-kidworking-parent-covid-parenting/page/2#post-2916870 Sat, 27 Jun 2020 15:17:07 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2916870@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ElbieKay: I totally hear you. My parents are in northern NJ, it's where I grew up (River Edge) and I'm glad to see that things are getting much better there. Northern VA, where I am now, is still floundering :bummed: I was considering sending my daughter to camp with a similar setup but it got too expensive because of the extra precaution measures. So far we're doing OK with an inflatable pool, walks and hikes whenever it's not blistering hot, and taking it day by day but I'm bummed every day on what she's missing out this summer. And I totally hear you on school. Our district gave us an online-only option or 2 days in/3 days offline work, and I'm nearly certain we're going to opt in to online. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/major-guilt-spiralidea-drain-only-kidworking-parent-covid-parenting/page/2#post-2916869 Sat, 27 Jun 2020 15:16:15 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2916869@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ALV91711: One thing that's helped me when she says she's bored (which thankfully isn't often, it's the "play with me" that's the challenge) is I tell her she can read something, craft something or build something and that usually gives her a direction to start with. I don't even tell her what, just pick from "read, craft or build" since we have tons of books, building toys and craft supplies around. Usually she'll pick up a book and then two seconds later decides to play with Legos or whatever, but the direction helps at least start somewhere and spark some other thinking. Commiserating alongside! &lt;3 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/major-guilt-spiralidea-drain-only-kidworking-parent-covid-parenting#post-2916865 Sat, 27 Jun 2020 09:48:06 +0000 ALV91711 2916865@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It’s tough. I have a 7 year old and almost 2 year old. The little guy is way better at playing by himself while I work. I hear I’m bored and there is nothing to do from my 7 year old every day. I’ve stopped making suggestions because he never goes with them. I’ve just started saying you have lots of toys, figure it out. I know not the best solution but usually after a bit of moaning he will find something to do even if it is okay with his brother. </p> <p>He does get a lot of outside time with our neighbours kids and that helps a lot. I’m not going to do any camps this summer but hopefully we will get back to daycare in August. </p> <p>So really I have no advice, just commiseration. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/major-guilt-spiralidea-drain-only-kidworking-parent-covid-parenting#post-2916864 Fri, 26 Jun 2020 16:33:01 +0000 ElbieKay 2916864@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We decided to send our rising first grader to a nature day camp. It's 5 weeks, 10 kids in the group, everyone has to sign up for five weeks so no other kids will join the group, and the camp will not allow any of the groups to mix with each other (i.e., no camp-wide events). We will drive there and back so no mixing with other kids for transit purposes. Very minimal time spent inside, only for things like changing clothes for swimming, and everyone wears masks inside. Adults wear masks whenever they are less than six feet from the kids.</p> <p>He has not been to this camp before, so he won't be aware of how the program has been modified from prior years.</p> <p>We decided it was in his best interest to have a chance to socialize and be outside with other kids. It seems like they will manage the risks reasonably well, and it's a very small, contained group. The fact that it's almost entirely outdoors makes me feel ok about it.</p> <p>We are in northern NJ, and the curve has flattened pretty well here. Hopefully it will stay flat this summer.</p> <p>I am already thinking about pulling him out of school in the fall though. I'm not too motivated for an indoor, masked experience in a large public school building with approximately 400 students plus staff. Who knows what the ventilation will be like. Ugh ugh ugh. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/major-guilt-spiralidea-drain-only-kidworking-parent-covid-parenting#post-2916861 Fri, 26 Jun 2020 11:19:14 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2916861@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@nwm: I loved this too as a kid! We actually did these a few months ago when lockdown boredom was starting to hit and the box house with all the clothes and dolls is sitting around, not really played with (though she was really into it at the time). I think I need to take some time to re-arrange the toys and put things in different places to spark ideas. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/major-guilt-spiralidea-drain-only-kidworking-parent-covid-parenting#post-2916846 Thu, 25 Jun 2020 13:26:57 +0000 nwm 2916846@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Carrot: so this is an idea actually based on what i loved to do when i was little, but my friend's mom set us up basically every summer day with an activity we LOVED--paper doll fashion. we would draw our own characters and cut them out of cardstock and then trace their torsos onto paper and then decorate/design little outfits for them. we'd draw in tabs on the shoulders and hips so we could then cut them out and dress them up. didn't require much beyond paper, scissors, cardstock, and whatever drawing utensils you have, and it occupied us for HOURS. </p> <p>i remember us doing this 8-10 yrs old so 7 may be a tad young, but just throwing it out there. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/major-guilt-spiralidea-drain-only-kidworking-parent-covid-parenting#post-2916829 Thu, 25 Jun 2020 06:25:50 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2916829@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lady baltimore: Awesome suggestion, thank you! She's been doing a bunch of crafting lately so this might hit a spot. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/major-guilt-spiralidea-drain-only-kidworking-parent-covid-parenting#post-2916828 Thu, 25 Jun 2020 06:25:11 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2916828@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@HappyBaker: I love this idea! She's actually been really into "vlogging" (based on the Molly of Denali cartoon), but usually she records herself talking about things outside. It would be an awesome idea to bring it inside too, thanks! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/major-guilt-spiralidea-drain-only-kidworking-parent-covid-parenting#post-2916823 Wed, 24 Jun 2020 20:51:44 +0000 wrkbrk 2916823@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@HappyBaker: This made me smile. Maybe she’ll be a famous IG influencer or do rad makeup tutorials later in her life!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/major-guilt-spiralidea-drain-only-kidworking-parent-covid-parenting#post-2916822 Wed, 24 Jun 2020 20:23:47 +0000 HappyBaker 2916822@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Similar guilt and my 7 year old has 2 little brothers to play with! What’s been keeping her occupied for HOURS the past two weeks is using her Kindle Fire to record herself playing with Barbies. It sounds so freaking dumb ha but she watches ONE thing on YouTube that is just of a person playing with Barbies in all different scenarios, so we made a list of 20 different ideas and she’s been picking a new one to play all week. She sets up these crazy scenes and then her tablet and records herself acting them out for hours. For some reason doing it for the camera makes her feel like someone is watching (spoiler alert we don’t actually post the videos she makes anywhere ha). We also make a point on our breaks to check out what she’s got setup. This is a super annoying hobby as all she wants to do at night is have us watch these really dumb videos she’s made, but she’s soooo proud of them and super engaged with it so I can’t complain about it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/major-guilt-spiralidea-drain-only-kidworking-parent-covid-parenting#post-2916820 Wed, 24 Jun 2020 19:53:05 +0000 lady baltimore 2916820@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Since you say that she is role-play oriented, maybe she'd like to work independently on creating props &amp; costumes based on her ideas, with the promise that you will perform with her when you are finished your work. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/major-guilt-spiralidea-drain-only-kidworking-parent-covid-parenting#post-2916800 Wed, 24 Jun 2020 07:18:22 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2916800@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ilovepie: thank you, I appreciate the reinforcement! We've been having many similar talks here too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/major-guilt-spiralidea-drain-only-kidworking-parent-covid-parenting#post-2916799 Wed, 24 Jun 2020 07:16:56 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2916799@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsSRS: No, you're not spamming at all, I will take any and all ideas! I like the list a lot, I think that will definitely help. I was just writing in the previous comment that her play tends to be role play oriented, which is why she tends to want company as much as she does. A visual prompt with other ideas I think would be good, thank you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/major-guilt-spiralidea-drain-only-kidworking-parent-covid-parenting#post-2916798 Wed, 24 Jun 2020 07:10:17 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2916798@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ModernDayJibarita: my kid was super into crafting yesterday (weirdly, this is not typical for her) and everything around her desk is a confetti mess right now lol It's been pretty good when I give her prompts, so I should think on that more for sure. Her typical play is very scenario/role play based and that's where the "play with me" tends to come from the most, she doesn't want to be on her own. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/major-guilt-spiralidea-drain-only-kidworking-parent-covid-parenting#post-2916797 Wed, 24 Jun 2020 07:04:29 +0000 ilovepie 2916797@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>FWIW my 6 year old with a brother to play with and a SAHM (who would prefer not to play all day) has been going through many times of complaining he's bored a lot lately. We've had long talks about attitude, how no one else in the house is bored, and how he has plenty of toys he'd prefer to keep but doesn't want to play with. Strewing does help. Online art video classes help. Audio books are huge in my house. Just wanted you to know it's not just an only child thing! My 4 year old would happily play by himself ALL DAY so there's a lot of personality differences even at that age. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/major-guilt-spiralidea-drain-only-kidworking-parent-covid-parenting#post-2916796 Wed, 24 Jun 2020 07:03:01 +0000 MrsSRS 2916796@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Also, sorry to spam you, if she can read well my kids did pretty well with a written list of ideas that we brainstormed together that they could do when they didn't want to play by themselves. So when they felt bored and frustrated and couldn't come up with something they had a resource that they could access independently. Of course it took a little practice to teach them to use it but it was worth it in the long run. Ours looked like this. (Most of the time they didn't end up actually using any of these ideas, but having to go look at it and read it usually sparked an idea of their own) </p> [attach=6368/20/qcfit1.450x600.15930001252499070200550772481128.jpg] https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/major-guilt-spiralidea-drain-only-kidworking-parent-covid-parenting#post-2916795 Wed, 24 Jun 2020 06:58:27 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2916795@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@wrkbrk: that's how I'm doing it now essentially, trying to block off times, and people are generally very respective of that. It's just not consistent right now in terms of when those blocks are so I probably need to shift some things around to make it more structured. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/major-guilt-spiralidea-drain-only-kidworking-parent-covid-parenting#post-2916794 Wed, 24 Jun 2020 06:57:32 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2916794@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Bluebonnet: thank you, these are great! That kind of structure was working really well for us during the school year because we had some anchors with being online and then having play/free time. The two weeks we've been out of school, it's been harder to replicate, so that's where I'm struggling right now. She's resisting doing learning activities on a schedule (she generally likes doing them, just doesn't want a schedule to do them on) and her playtime changes day to day so sometimes she'll do great on her own for stretches of time and other times she wants nonstop company and it's hard to anticipate that and that's where it gets tough. I think more structure for DH and me is the right answer, so we have more delineated "go-to" people for her, we just need to figure out how to work around his pop-up responsibilities. Thank you for the ideas! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/major-guilt-spiralidea-drain-only-kidworking-parent-covid-parenting#post-2916793 Wed, 24 Jun 2020 06:52:53 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2916793@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsSRS: I like that, thank you! I'm sure I'm overblowing it in my own head and building up guilt where there probably isn't any on her part but these tips will help me just as much, thank you :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/major-guilt-spiralidea-drain-only-kidworking-parent-covid-parenting#post-2916786 Tue, 23 Jun 2020 20:57:05 +0000 ModernDayJibarita 2916786@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Our son is 4 and the first month home from preschool was rough. Just him having lots of feelings. We tried just following the lead of what he wanted to do but he thrives on structure and knowing whats next so that didn’t work for is. </p> <p>I’m on maternity leave so theoretically I availability to play with him but we’ve been following RIE since early on and it’s a big proponent of letting kids play independently. </p> <p>Since Mid-May, we’ve had the following schedule. After breakfast, we do a homeschool curriculum (the curriculum is called Torchlight - It’s literature based so mostly it’s read a book, talk about it, some art/science/ nature activities sprinkled in and some social emotional skill building) It takes us about an hr every morning. After that he plays independently until lunch while I either tend to the baby or read a book. After lunch he gets 1-2hrs of screentime and then from 2-4pm he does quiet time in his room. After 4, he does more independent play or helps me in the kitchen (he peels/ chops all the vegetable for dinner) m. </p> <p>Learning to play independently is a new skill for her so it’ll take time to develop. If he’s resistant, I’ll throw a prompt out like “can you build me the biggest robot ever out of legos” or “it looks like a dragon is storming the playhouse, go help save it”. We also have a kids table with an art supply cart next to it with markers, scissors, glue sticks, masking tape, coloring books, construction paper. A couple of times a week my couch is completely covered in masking tape because he built a car or a space station on it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/major-guilt-spiralidea-drain-only-kidworking-parent-covid-parenting#post-2916785 Tue, 23 Jun 2020 20:16:41 +0000 wrkbrk 2916785@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Carrot: OMG you’re so right it’s both of them 🤣 To the point though, you have it hard if you and your hubs are sort of on call. Thinking of you all ❤️ Would you be able to tell your team to only call you between noon and six for now? IDK if thats realistic or not. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/major-guilt-spiralidea-drain-only-kidworking-parent-covid-parenting#post-2916777 Tue, 23 Jun 2020 18:31:56 +0000 Bluebonnet 2916777@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have 2 kids (6 &amp; 8) and what works for us is a highly structured day which allows adults to know when we have dedicated working time and kids to know what to expect (which reduces their anxiety). </p> <p>I start work early (6am). DH gets the kids up, feeds them breakfast, and does some sort of physical activity (bike rides, scooter ride, walk, park time, etc) then he transitions them to an activity (learning apps on their tablets) and sets an Alexa timer. When the timer goes off They have free play until I get them for lunch. </p> <p>DH starts work at 9:30 or 10am, but works later and usually is on calls through lunch. I work until noon then make lunch and we have chore time (we’ve found they like dusting with the duster, cleaning toilets, vacuuming, and wiping down door knobs and switches with Lysol wipes). Then they have quiet time for 1.5 hours (reading, legos, art, magnatiles, etc), while I wrap up work and log off around 3. Then I have dedicated time with them until 5ish when I start dinner. We swim a lot (we have a pool), play board games, do crafts, bake, etc. </p> <p>Of course we end up working some after the kids go to bed, which isn’t my favorite but is sometimes necessary. </p> <p>We’ve also set up a summer bucket list and are working on checking things off (on weekends and in the afternoon). That makes things feel fun, even though we’re very restricted on what we feel comfortable doing. </p> <p>Hope this helps give you some ideas. I think we’re all muddling though trying to figure out what works for our families. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/major-guilt-spiralidea-drain-only-kidworking-parent-covid-parenting#post-2916772 Tue, 23 Jun 2020 16:43:52 +0000 MrsSRS 2916772@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Carrot: it's so hard. I'm sure you're doing a great job. I really, really think a visual schedule helps at this age. Also maybe prepping different things in the morning. Set out an outside art activity, move a toy into a new room, etc, then build those activities into her schedule. Also, maybe can you have blocks where one parent is the one to go to for what she needs? Like "if you need anything before lunch you have to ask Daddy. Pretend Mommy is on the moon." And when you have a day you know will be hard, can you preempt it? Tell her that you have a busy work day so she will have a short playtime followed by TWO MOVIES woooo!!!!! and then quiet time in a fort or something appealing like that? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/major-guilt-spiralidea-drain-only-kidworking-parent-covid-parenting#post-2916771 Tue, 23 Jun 2020 16:38:40 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2916771@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LemonJack: The general calendar is what we have now, but without specific activities like online camps, she just doesn't care much that we have to be on calls, and I don't blame her. I'm trying to find that balance of being present for her, setting limits for when I have to work, and still feel like it's enough for her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/major-guilt-spiralidea-drain-only-kidworking-parent-covid-parenting#post-2916770 Tue, 23 Jun 2020 16:35:54 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2916770@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@wrkbrk: thanks for this (it was Joey AND Chandler)! Figuring out a schedule for DH and I is definitely something I need to do. The challenge right now is that his work tends to pop up last minute (he manages IT so he's mostly in the background but there's a lot of last minute issues/webinars/etc that get set up that he has to cover). And I have to be available for calls with my teams during the week. I need to sit down and do this more intentionally though so thank you for the nudge, I think this would definitely help. And I totally hear you on together time. We haven't had any in years anyway because our kid is a night owl so by the time she's asleep, we're both done with the day, so at least that hasn't felt like a gap, but getting any quiet time that we had with commutes is gone. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/major-guilt-spiralidea-drain-only-kidworking-parent-covid-parenting#post-2916769 Tue, 23 Jun 2020 16:33:59 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2916769@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsSRS: I follow them both! It's been helping but there are some days where she's just not having it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/major-guilt-spiralidea-drain-only-kidworking-parent-covid-parenting#post-2916768 Tue, 23 Jun 2020 16:33:27 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2916768@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@petitenoisette: She has resisted Zoom/virtual calls pretty strongly, even though she's super social generally. She just doesn't seem to like socializing on Zoom (though she loved online school sessions). And most of our friends are extra cautious too so we've had a few touchpoints with some friends coming over and I'm going to reach out and see if anyone is willing to bubble up a bit, thank you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/major-guilt-spiralidea-drain-only-kidworking-parent-covid-parenting#post-2916767 Tue, 23 Jun 2020 16:31:21 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2916767@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@charm55: Not a ramble at all. TBH, this is what I'm afraid will happen with my kid too. She's been showing more anxiety recently around things like going into rooms because there might be spiders there or going upstairs when the lights aren't on or one parent isn't there. She's been really good about wearing a mask and not touching things before they're sanitized but re-entry into the real world I think could be nerve-racking. I would love for her to be out for a little while and just be a kid but most options here tend to be either all virtual or indoors, which I'm not thrilled with (on the latter). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/major-guilt-spiralidea-drain-only-kidworking-parent-covid-parenting#post-2916766 Tue, 23 Jun 2020 16:27:32 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2916766@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: thanks, I definitely appreciate the insights. Her school will be either 2 days a week in person (half the students will go 2 days, the other half the other 2 days), 1 day a week in person (25% of students on each day) or fully virtual. We have to opt in to either going in person or staying virtual for the full year by early July. I generally feel OK sending her back to school but I wanted to wait out the summer as things are reopening to see how things go, which is why we didn't sign up for any in person camps, even with limited capacity. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/major-guilt-spiralidea-drain-only-kidworking-parent-covid-parenting#post-2916762 Tue, 23 Jun 2020 15:52:25 +0000 LemonJack 2916762@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have no idea if this would work, but maybe you could try a daily calendar with a general plan of what to expect when each day. Like maybe, 8-9 is breakfast/relax, 9-9:30 is read independently, 9:30-11 play outside (if that’s an option), etc.</p> <p>Also, like others have said, if you’re comfortable with another family or two, you could expand your bubble a bit. We’re letting our kids play with the neighbors and two other sets of friends, but it’s outside so it’s not something I’m super worried about. I know when late fall/winter hit they’ll be more isolated and stuck inside, and it’ll be harder to get together safely. </p>