https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 13 May 2026 09:56:53 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/making-old-wall-posts-private#post-1811816 Tue, 12 Aug 2014 12:51:20 +0000 MsLipGloss 1811816@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Has there been a follow-up on this issue? Just in case I missed it . . . </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/making-old-wall-posts-private#post-1790486 Wed, 30 Jul 2014 20:50:12 +0000 dc yoga bee 1790486@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@.twist.: Now that pro-life/choice thread WAS flat out instigating. 100% agree with you there. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/making-old-wall-posts-private#post-1790474 Wed, 30 Jul 2014 20:40:48 +0000 .twist. 1790474@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Raindrop: it started off very poorly. Maybe it's because I have spent the last almost 15 years participating in forums online, but I do think there is a certain unspoken forum etiquette when joining a new forum. This community loses very few posters to something like that. Other forums are MUCH different than HB and they are not nearly as nice, or welcoming. It amazes me that people think this place is cliquey. I've seen forum cliques, this place barely scrapes the surface. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/making-old-wall-posts-private#post-1790468 Wed, 30 Jul 2014 20:37:07 +0000 Raindrop 1790468@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@.twist.: Seriously I miss everything! :) I didn't see how that thread started but I did make out some bits and pieces from people's comments. Agreed that thread could have started off better. </p> <p>Our community did cause that poster to leave our community because of that thread though... which is sad. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/making-old-wall-posts-private#post-1790466 Wed, 30 Jul 2014 20:36:53 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 1790466@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sunny: I totally get that. I held off on my private loan thread for about four days after I initially heard about to be more sensitive to an user. I would have held off even longer had I read that one yesterday. So for someone like the insensitive poster who clearly had to get something off her chest- couldn't wait- there isn't a win. No matter what she's just wrong. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/making-old-wall-posts-private#post-1790464 Wed, 30 Jul 2014 20:35:34 +0000 .twist. 1790464@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Raindrop: yea, but again, did you read how that thread started? It was instigating! Plainly instigating the crowd. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/making-old-wall-posts-private#post-1790462 Wed, 30 Jul 2014 20:34:26 +0000 Raindrop 1790462@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: You make a good point. I think if it was a spin off thread it would be very similar to the pro-life/pro-choice thread that happened not too long ago... and we know how that went. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/making-old-wall-posts-private#post-1790448 Wed, 30 Jul 2014 20:27:29 +0000 Boheme 1790448@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@.twist.: In real life I would've needed someone to hold my earrings. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/making-old-wall-posts-private#post-1790447 Wed, 30 Jul 2014 20:27:29 +0000 sunny 1790447@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: I think there is a time and a place to discuss sensitive subjects. Clearly yesterday's thread was not the time or place and IMHO, starting a "debate" thread yesterday would have been highly insensitive. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/making-old-wall-posts-private#post-1790445 Wed, 30 Jul 2014 20:26:36 +0000 .twist. 1790445@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: for myself personally, I would be fine have an actual discussion about my feelings on the topic in an appropriate fashion. If worded correctly I think HB would have dealt with it better. More along the lines of other heated topics we have had that get a tad carried away but nothing crazy, not like this recent incident. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/making-old-wall-posts-private#post-1790438 Wed, 30 Jul 2014 20:24:06 +0000 .twist. 1790438@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I made the comments I did because she was being rude. Her comment was not said in a genuinely curious fashion, but in an extremely judgemental fashion. I don't play any "gang up because we are all in a clique" games, I comment as I see fit and as others have said I am also not going to sit around and watch someone judge someone else through one of the hardest times in their life. If I saw it happen in real life, I would say the exact same damn thing. And honestly, I kept my cool in respect of HB but if that happened in front of me I wouldn't have kept myself quite as poised. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/making-old-wall-posts-private#post-1790436 Wed, 30 Jul 2014 20:23:51 +0000 sunny 1790436@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaMoose: @grizz: I absolutely agree with you both. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/making-old-wall-posts-private#post-1790434 Wed, 30 Jul 2014 20:23:32 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 1790434@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks to GOMI, I easily found the thread you all are most likely talking about. This is the second time in recent memory that someone has described a personal event from their perspective and has received at least one insensitive comment and other posters jump in to attack/ support. I didn't read the original comments, but I think I have an idea of how tasteless they were. Anyway some of the responses were over the top. </p> <p>Let's say the poster who initially posted the insensitive comments created a thread that asked similar to what she posted, but this thread was one that called for a debate would that have been better? I think users are savvy enough to know an inspired thread when they read it and savvy enough to make connections when someone is being snarky and messy. The poster probably would have gotten beat up on the new thread too. I am for support and for being kind and I am also for having open communication and being able to ask questions or speak your mind. Sometimes these things collide. What's a remedy for that? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/making-old-wall-posts-private#post-1790421 Wed, 30 Jul 2014 20:19:42 +0000 Boheme 1790421@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaMoose: Agreed. It was deliberate, it was cruel, and it was dehumanizing. NOT an oops. I've seen people sternly reprimanded for far less. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/making-old-wall-posts-private#post-1790417 Wed, 30 Jul 2014 20:13:38 +0000 MamaMoose 1790417@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Raindrop: Again, if one had read the comment one COULDN'T "say that the person in question didn't mean to hurt the OP and that it was just not the right time or place to say what she said." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/making-old-wall-posts-private#post-1790409 Wed, 30 Jul 2014 20:09:11 +0000 Adira 1790409@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This thread has gone in a really interesting direction that I didn't even consider! As soon as I read this post by Mr. Bee, I actually immediately asked him to Gold a post on my wall. The poster is not a Gold member, so she wasn't able to make them private herself, but the post has personal information about where the both of us live, which is why I requested it to be Gold. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/making-old-wall-posts-private#post-1790402 Wed, 30 Jul 2014 20:02:48 +0000 MamaMoose 1790402@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@dc yoga bee: I get your point about accountability. In general, I actually think HB member tends to err towards being overly sensitive (saying they were bullied because someone disagreed with them, feeling "attacked" because their posts aren't supported, etc). I mean, it's the internet, not kindergarten. People get to say what they want to say, FOR THE MOST PART. I'm sure there are plenty of people here who think I'm a total bitch because I speak my mind pretty blunty. But when you cross over the line from being bitchy to being flat out cruel to someone going through probably the hardest thing any person will ever experience, in my opinion, there have to be consequences. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/making-old-wall-posts-private#post-1790401 Wed, 30 Jul 2014 20:02:45 +0000 Arden 1790401@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Silva: I thought your posts in the thread were respectful, measured, and appropriate. I don't think you were attacking at all, just making your feelings clear.</p> <p>In regard to "golding" wall posts, I understand the intention but there does need to be some level of accountability for posters. When a comment is flagged dozens of times and then people start posting on a commenters wall as well, clearly something needs to happen. I don't envy the Bees the task of deciding how to handle these situations, but the solution can't be ignoring it and hoping it will blow over. There has to be some kind of accountability for personal, agressive, painful attacks. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/making-old-wall-posts-private#post-1790399 Wed, 30 Jul 2014 20:02:02 +0000 mrbee 1790399@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hey guys - we posted about this on Instagram, but wanted to clarify that Bee and I are in the Philippines right now visiting my parents. We don't have childcare and are working at night (we're 12 hours off EST), so haven't been able to stay on top of the boards as much as usual. When I get back, we'll pull together a moderation team to help manage things when we're traveling.</p> <p>@dc yoga bee: we previously posted about our ban policy here:</p> <p><a href="http://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hellobees-no-ban-policy-and-how-we-plan-to-handle-trollsflamebait" rel="nofollow">http://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hellobees-no-ban-policy-and-how-we-plan-to-handle-trollsflamebait</a></p> <p>Hope to post about all this tonight... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/making-old-wall-posts-private#post-1790398 Wed, 30 Jul 2014 19:58:48 +0000 Raindrop 1790398@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Okay I'm going to say it and I think @dc yoga bee: is trying to touch on it without saying it out loud.</p> <p>Technically the person in question was also attacked. One could say that the person in question didn't mean to hurt the OP and that it was just not the right time or place to say what she said. </p> <p>But the public lashing that happened to her, the people meant to attack her, and even the few of you that are here must admit *some* of those comments that were said to her were also out of line. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/making-old-wall-posts-private#post-1790392 Wed, 30 Jul 2014 19:52:42 +0000 dc yoga bee 1790392@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I see where you guys are coming from, and I don't think anyone should have to stand idly when anyone is attacked. It goes back to the question of where is the accountability. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/making-old-wall-posts-private#post-1790382 Wed, 30 Jul 2014 19:47:54 +0000 Boheme 1790382@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Silva: same. I cannot stand idly by when someone was attacked like that. I cannot. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/making-old-wall-posts-private#post-1790366 Wed, 30 Jul 2014 19:38:14 +0000 MamaMoose 1790366@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@dc yoga bee: I never said anything to her after her apology. My response to her was one of the very first ones after her inflammatory comments were made. And yes, flagging should resolve these issues but I think the point that @grizz: is trying to make is that we are all aware the comment was heavily flagged but we haven't seen any action taken based on that. Mr Bee has also said that where possible he prefers to let posters "police" each other and work things out appropriately. Also, to me, it is important to respond publicly not just so that the offensive commenter knows they are out of line, but also so that the offended OP knows that she is supported and shouldn't have to tolerate such horrible remarks. Like @Silva: I do regret that there was a distraction from the point of the post, and I apologized for my roll in that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/making-old-wall-posts-private#post-1790361 Wed, 30 Jul 2014 19:30:27 +0000 Silva 1790361@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>For what it's worth, as someone who spoke out against the aggressive commenter, my intention was not to be a part of a clique, or to hurt her feelings in the way that she hurt the OP. Rather, it was to make very clear that I disagree completely with what she said, and will not stand by silently while someone aggressively attacks another human being.<br /> My only regret is posting it on the thread. I should have posted it to the commenters wall, as to not further derail a thread that had already taken a nasty left turn. Other than that, I stand behind my comment fully. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/making-old-wall-posts-private#post-1790360 Wed, 30 Jul 2014 19:30:09 +0000 dc yoga bee 1790360@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@grizz: Not implying you are in a clique at all! For anyone reading that will assume I'm only saying that because I must be in a "clique." I know you didn't say anything too, I was just giving my perspective on it overall in light of muting it doesn't make it okay or would the reaction be different if saw the unedited post. And again, I agree with you. If there are things that are constantly happening, then people should be held accountable. I just think the accountable should not come from public lashings (which I know you didn't instigate or suggest!) </p> <p>What is the ban policy? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/making-old-wall-posts-private#post-1790349 Wed, 30 Jul 2014 19:23:14 +0000 Boheme 1790349@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@dc yoga bee: I said nothing to her. I did, however, notice inflammatory statements made on other threads. And now I'm asking for it to be handled. I wouldn't say I'm in any cliques either ... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/making-old-wall-posts-private#post-1790338 Wed, 30 Jul 2014 19:12:34 +0000 dc yoga bee 1790338@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaMoose: @grizz: This is just my opinion, but I thought the public lashing after she apologized was inappropriate. I didn't see the unedited comment, so you're right I may have had a different perspective, but then again I may not have. As adults, I just don't get the public lashings after people apologize (and not just talking about any one particular thread), but in many of the threads on Hellobee. Just because someone says something that is not okay, doesn't mean it makes it okay to turn around and lash them with the "eye for an eye" guns blazing response. Or does it? I thought that's what flagging the comments were for. If there are multiple instances of this behavior, I agree with you about the banning. Oh yeah, and I'm not just saying that because it's this poster or that. I can assure anyone-I'm not in any "cliques." I think everyone should be treated with respect, and if people aren't respecting each other or someone in particular-there needs to be a better way of handling that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/making-old-wall-posts-private#post-1790337 Wed, 30 Jul 2014 19:12:17 +0000 Raindrop 1790337@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@grizz: I'll admit I don't read all the boards. So I haven't seen her say anything of that nature anywhere else.</p> <p>But I was in the TTCing boards for a while and she was always supportive and kind there. So it's quite possible that we have a different view of her. I want to give her the benefit of the doubt that she didn't mean to hurt anyone by her comments and that she was just trying to voice her own view. </p> <p>Again I didn't see the comment and I will concede that it might have not been the best time or place to voice those views. </p> <p>I definitely don't want to see her banned because of this. It might have been a simple mistake, or an unthinking moment. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/making-old-wall-posts-private#post-1790327 Wed, 30 Jul 2014 19:00:43 +0000 Boheme 1790327@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Raindrop: muting doesn't make what someone says ok. And this wasn't a one time instance. I know several others who have found her offensive on many occasions. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/making-old-wall-posts-private#post-1790325 Wed, 30 Jul 2014 19:00:21 +0000 MamaMoose 1790325@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Raindrop: I can assure you that you would feel differently if you had read the comment in question. </p>