https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 17 Apr 2026 06:43:37 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/marriage-easierharder-than-dating/page/2#post-2460646 Sat, 13 Feb 2016 07:41:54 +0000 mamabolt 2460646@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@psw27: exactly this! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/marriage-easierharder-than-dating#post-2460618 Sat, 13 Feb 2016 03:24:00 +0000 Nutella 2460618@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Many friends asked me if I felt different after getting married...-I could never put my finger on why! But I did like the comfort and stability aspect...one thing in my life that was grounding. But I found dating life sooo much fun too - haha. It suited my personality at the time, but I think my DH came along at the perfect time when I was changing priorities too...which made marriage easy easy easy. After kids it's so much harder though. I struggle to stoke the 'us' fire and it is hard to recreate some of the early magic. So it's different but still so cool. I am always grateful someone accepts me with all my flaws :shocked: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/marriage-easierharder-than-dating#post-2460539 Fri, 12 Feb 2016 21:34:20 +0000 ShootingStar 2460539@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Marriage is sooooo much easier/better than dating. At least for me. I was never one of those people that dating came easy to. I had a lot of go nowhere dates, a few guys that I dated a while and it never really turned into a relationship, and one guy with tons of drama who kind of broke me. I always felt unsure about everything. Now I feel secure and happy and it just works. Not every day is roses and sunshine, but it's still better than trying to find the person you fit with in today's world. Imagine dating in the age of Tinder? Everyone is judging you in a few seconds and can easily swipe past you, thinking there's always someone better out there. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/marriage-easierharder-than-dating#post-2460511 Fri, 12 Feb 2016 20:58:49 +0000 yoursilverlining 2460511@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's just totally different. It's both easier and harder. Sometimes I miss the excitement that comes with dating that just can't be replicated in the same way after 10 years with the same person. Then again, the butterflies from knowing someone has loved me this long and given me themselves 100% and gives 100% of themselves to our child is so much better than the best date could ever be. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/marriage-easierharder-than-dating#post-2460510 Fri, 12 Feb 2016 20:58:41 +0000 catlady 2460510@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Marriage has been so much easier for me than dating. I like the security and stability of it. Dating was exciting but I was always anxious. Marriage brought me a sort of peace that I never had before that. DH is usually a nice calm influence on me. As time has gone on, I think I've become a more calm person too, so that probably helps things.</p> <p>Parenting is obviously tough (and much harder than our pre-marriage lifestyle) but I don't think our relationship has suffered from it. Plus, I think we appreciate our date nights so much more now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/marriage-easierharder-than-dating#post-2460494 Fri, 12 Feb 2016 20:31:59 +0000 Ms maths 2460494@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think marriage is easier in the sense that I know neither one of us is going anywhere, so it's ok to make mistakes. Dating was the sense that I felt like I could walk away if I needed/wanted to. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/marriage-easierharder-than-dating#post-2460450 Fri, 12 Feb 2016 19:18:56 +0000 NavyRN2012 2460450@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So I voted bunnies! I've been with my husband since I was 16 years old 😁 I never dated as an adult, so I can't say which is more difficult. I feel incredibly lucky to have found my match so early on and that I never had to date. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/marriage-easierharder-than-dating#post-2460418 Fri, 12 Feb 2016 18:27:08 +0000 littlejoy 2460418@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't know much about dating (as DH and I have dated since we were 19). I see our relationship as a whole ... I'd say marriage is easier, because as the years have gone on, we learn more about each other, and have found our groove. </p> <p>I have friends who are currently dating, and I am not jealous. </p> <p>The only thing I think about is if I met DH now (as adults), and how fun it would be to date him now. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/marriage-easierharder-than-dating#post-2460402 Fri, 12 Feb 2016 18:00:46 +0000 sarac 2460402@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I guess I am lucky, in nine years of marriage, to have never had to put any effort into 'liking' my husband. Finding balance takes work, being our best selves even when we're exhausted is hard, growing up and getting the work done when it comes to the house, our finances, the annoying stuff, that can be hard. But I guess I am lucky to have never stopped enjoying him. </p> <p>I would far rather be doing that than trying to date in my 30s, yikes. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/marriage-easierharder-than-dating#post-2460397 Fri, 12 Feb 2016 17:57:21 +0000 Autumnmama79 2460397@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: This, exactly. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/marriage-easierharder-than-dating#post-2460354 Fri, 12 Feb 2016 17:05:12 +0000 daniellemybelle 2460354@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Dating - like finding someone - sucked. Being in a dating relationship (dating DH) was AWESOME. The first two years of our relationship were great and easy easy easy.</p> <p>I have found marriage to be wonderful but also very hard in many ways. But I still don't miss dating at all. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/marriage-easierharder-than-dating#post-2460261 Fri, 12 Feb 2016 15:55:06 +0000 IRunForFun 2460261@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I definitely wouldn't want to be dating again, but if we are specifically comparing dating my now-husband to being married to him, marriage is harder! When we were dating (but committed) we were out and about and trying new things all the time, plus we had our own spaces and lots of time to ourselves, and didn't have to do much compromising. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/marriage-easierharder-than-dating#post-2460249 Fri, 12 Feb 2016 15:43:28 +0000 Rainbow Sprinkles 2460249@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@petunia354: agree. &lt;3 &lt;3 I think marriage takes a lot of resolve and patience. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/marriage-easierharder-than-dating#post-2460247 Fri, 12 Feb 2016 15:42:23 +0000 youboots 2460247@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I never dated as an adult since M and I got together at 19 and were married when I was 22. Unless you count a couple Frat house dances in college. </p> <p>I voted marriage is way easier. I think dating past a certain age gets a lot harder, unless you are not interested in anything serious, oh the horror stories I've heard.</p> <p>I am so happy with the commitment I feel in my marriage, and the trust and love we share. I know we are a team and doing life together. That kind of certainty makes me feel safe and loved. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/marriage-easierharder-than-dating#post-2460244 Fri, 12 Feb 2016 15:40:41 +0000 Freckles 2460244@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would rather be married than dating. Sure dating is fun but I hate the petty issues (who pays for dates) and the bigger ones (is this going anywhere? Are you marriage material? Etc).</p> <p>Marriage is hard after kids but at the end of the day DH and I are committed to one another and I know a fight isn't going to make him reconsider our relationship (though it might while dating). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/marriage-easierharder-than-dating#post-2460243 Fri, 12 Feb 2016 15:40:24 +0000 petunia354 2460243@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Rainbow Sprinkles: I think you hit the nail on the head with this one. </p> <p>Yeah, dating kind of sucked but marriage is so high stakes, especially with children in the picture. It takes way more patience and kindness than dating ever did. As much as I love my husband and the unconditional love that marriage brings, it's hard to be with the same person day in and day out and to choose to love them when you might not feel like it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/marriage-easierharder-than-dating#post-2460234 Fri, 12 Feb 2016 15:37:25 +0000 avivoca 2460234@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think marriage is way harder. I've been with my husband for 11 years now and it's so much harder than when we were dating. We were so young when we met, 19 and 20. When you are that young and in college with no responsibility, you have no idea what is coming. Every day we choose to love each other, to forgive each other, to compromise, to take on the responsibilities of a family, etc. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/marriage-easierharder-than-dating#post-2460195 Fri, 12 Feb 2016 15:16:48 +0000 autumnleaves 2460195@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So far I think marriage is easier than dating but I haven't been married long enough IMO to really know. I've heard enough from others to know marriage will have lots of rocky moments and I hope we can sail through the rough seas and see paradise. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/marriage-easierharder-than-dating#post-2460186 Fri, 12 Feb 2016 15:08:48 +0000 Rainbow Sprinkles 2460186@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think marriage is harder.</p> <p>I never dated anyone other than my now husband past the age of 19, so I feel like I kind of know more about marriage than I know about dating. Also, since I met my husband so young, I never got to the stage of like "Oh crap, I need to meet someone. I need to find the right guy for me." I didn't have that pressure because we just happened to meet when I was still in college.</p> <p>Marriage is hard work. You have to decide DAILY to forgive, to compromise, and (sometimes) to even LIKE that person. For me, although I love my husband dearly, sometimes I don't like him. When I am run ragged, have too much on my plate, and haven't slept a full night in years, I still need to decide to be kind to him, show him love, give him the benefit of the doubt, consider his needs in every situation, and PARENT AS A TEAM WITH HIM (no silent treatment anymore!) etc. It wasn't like that with dating. I cared about myself first, and if I wasn't feeling it, I could just leave. Also, there weren't kids in the picture, so there wasn't the added pressure of trying to do right by 3 little humans who needed me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/marriage-easierharder-than-dating#post-2460184 Fri, 12 Feb 2016 15:08:16 +0000 Eko 2460184@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think marriage is way harder. It takes more energy to make the relationship work over a long period of time. And to constantly think about someone else's needs and emotions at the same time. There is way more effort to make the relationship work because you want it to. </p> <p>With dating, I may have had a different attitude. Yeah it's kind of awkward getting to know people and being all ' oh does he like me' and stuff. But, if things never jived I didn't put forth all this energy into the relationship, I was just like BYE BYE. I never constantly worried over how I looked or making sure the guy liked me. If he didn't then it was his loss. </p> <p>I definitely though love being married though and don't envy the non-married folks. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/marriage-easierharder-than-dating#post-2460178 Fri, 12 Feb 2016 15:05:37 +0000 DesertDreams88 2460178@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it can very much depend on how much work you put into your relationship while dating. My husband and I took our dating relationship very seriously and talked through / worked through a lot of potential areas of conflict. We basically did premarital counseling for an entire year before we got married, and developed conversational and relational skills that have really smoothed out the marriage road, per se. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/marriage-easierharder-than-dating#post-2460166 Fri, 12 Feb 2016 15:01:45 +0000 Rockies11 2460166@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I dated a LOT, and I think for me, marriage is easier. When I was dating I was constantly overanalyzing everything and deciding whether or not whatever problem we had was a deal-breaker. I was a lot more interested in fighting and deals with myself (he'd better at least TRY and cook once a week or else...) to see whether we were compatible. Now that we're married, I have totally let that go and it's a lot more peaceful. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/marriage-easierharder-than-dating#post-2460144 Fri, 12 Feb 2016 14:56:34 +0000 PawPrints 2460144@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Marriage is sooooooooo much easier. I have conversations like the one you had with your friends all the time. My closest friends are always talking about their dating woes and I just keep my mouth shut. I am so so so glad I'm not having to go through the crap they do. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/marriage-easierharder-than-dating#post-2460119 Fri, 12 Feb 2016 14:45:53 +0000 psw27 2460119@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Both are hard. I thought dating was awkward and super confusing and exhausting at times. But also exciting and fun and it was nice to be out and about all the time. </p> <p>Marriage is hard and exhausting at times because it takes work to keep it going and keep it fun and communicate well. But it is easy because it is stable, you know the other person well and there is no guessing if they care. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/marriage-easierharder-than-dating#post-2460110 Fri, 12 Feb 2016 14:42:41 +0000 looch 2460110@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JoJoGirl: Yes, so true. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/marriage-easierharder-than-dating#post-2460105 Fri, 12 Feb 2016 14:41:01 +0000 JoJoGirl 2460105@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>They both sort of suck sometimes, ha ha. Dating after 30 was SUPER HARD. With high stakes, biological clocks, commitment-phobic men, etc etc. Marriage is super hard to me as well, especially with kids. Before kids it was a cakewalk. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/marriage-easierharder-than-dating#post-2460083 Fri, 12 Feb 2016 14:35:19 +0000 snowjewelz 2460083@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think one is easier than the other, period. Marriage is easier in the sense that there are no games, no awkwardness, no big "talks" to see where you're going, no second guessing, etc. But marriage obviously is very hard work too! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/marriage-easierharder-than-dating#post-2460066 Fri, 12 Feb 2016 14:31:28 +0000 travellingbee 2460066@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think marriage is way way easier. I got married at 34 so I dated a long time. It sucked. Lots of work and heartache and trying and getting it wrong... Marriage isn't as exciting but it isn't hard for us at all. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/marriage-easierharder-than-dating#post-2460065 Fri, 12 Feb 2016 14:31:16 +0000 LuLu Mom 2460065@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it depends on what angle I'm looking from. The idea of going out on dates/meeting someone/ect. sounds awful to me and for tha reason marriage is easier, I have my partner, ect. </p> <p>BUT dating was easier in that we got into a disagreement, we could "separate" to our own places an cool down without worrying the kids or I didn't have to coordinate with someone else in regards to money/purchases. I miss some of the freedom that came with dating, but I would never change it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/marriage-easierharder-than-dating#post-2460037 Fri, 12 Feb 2016 14:18:33 +0000 Cherrybee 2460037@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I loved dating! Bars, restaurants, clubs - you're both looking your best all the time, only show each other your best selves and have plenty of time away from each other to recharge. </p> <p>Marriage is hard because its about compromise. Its all about the mundane. You show each other your worst selves and sometimes, when you just feel like being alone, you have to step up and be there for the other person, even if that just means watching TV with them. </p> <p>But marriage is still better. </p>