https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 18 May 2026 15:42:29 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/maximizing-the-day#post-118606 Wed, 11 Apr 2012 18:17:44 +0000 shellio 118606@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Modern Daisy: That is so sweet! Sounds like a great guy :)</p> <p>@Mrs. Jacks: I know. I really have no idea what its like, I know it is so rough when baby is fussy and you're kind of stuck at home, so I have no room to complain. He does a great job though, as I know Mr. Jacks does! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/maximizing-the-day#post-118041 Wed, 11 Apr 2012 11:33:47 +0000 Modern Daisy 118041@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No kids here, but I hear you on the time suck thing being annoying. We do our best not to give each other a hard time, but it's hard to hide obvious frustration when one person is home lounging and there is a sink full of dishes or an overflowing hamper. </p> <p>I've learned from experience that it bothers my DH most during his busy time when he has to work long hours for him to come home to any kind of mess. It's slightly irrational and unfair since I'm also working a full day, but it still bothers him so I do my best to make an extra effort around the house. In turn, he is really good about helping me do my 'designated' chores if his are all done instead of watching TV or whatever. Like last night, I was simultaneously doing laundry and making dinner and he was so bothered by the fact that he was lounging while all this work was being done that he insisted on taking over the laundry - even though he hates it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/maximizing-the-day#post-118019 Wed, 11 Apr 2012 11:13:35 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 118019@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Maysprout: It's what I said above. I know he can do whatever he wants with his free time, but it is frustrating to know that he complains of having no time to work on his business stuff and he's returning to work after his paternity leave next week.</p> <p>I'm definitely not bottling it up. I'm sharing my frustration here so that it doesn't bug me. It won't be manifest in my actions.</p> <p>Anyway, we talked about this thread yesterday and he laughed and said, "Yeah, it doesn't feel very good to waste so much time... but that's what I did." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/maximizing-the-day#post-117798 Wed, 11 Apr 2012 08:52:01 +0000 Maysprout 117798@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jacks: I guess it's just when someone has negative thoughts or frustrations even if they're not verbally expressed they are usually manifested somehow in actions. So I'm not sure that it's great to bottle it up and end up resenting him either. </p> <p>But if you think he deserves time to unwind, I guess I'm not sure what the problem is, would it be different if he was reading a book instead of playing video games? Or are you irritated that he gets time to unwind and you haven't had time to unwind lately? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/maximizing-the-day#post-117664 Wed, 11 Apr 2012 01:42:54 +0000 looch 117664@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am a SAHM and I would flip if DH (who works out of the home) tried to tell me how to spend my day. I use the time when our son naps to catch up on emails, browse the web, menu plan, whatever. </p> <p>My DH has hobbies I think are a waste of time, but he thinks some of the things I do are a waste of time, so it evens out.</p> <p>Phone or computer use while feeding or holding our son is strictly not allowed. I find it rude when people do that to me (while sharing a meal or visiting) so I was adamant about not doing that to our son. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/maximizing-the-day#post-117625 Tue, 10 Apr 2012 23:10:22 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 117625@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Maysprout: I wouldn't dare. I fully respect his autonomy and try to understand about the video games... but even if there were no babies involved, I still think video games are a waste of a precious resource (time) :)</p> <p>As I said above, "I never say anything because he deserves time to unwind since he works really hard... " </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/maximizing-the-day#post-117622 Tue, 10 Apr 2012 23:04:18 +0000 Maysprout 117622@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If I remember from your blog posts don't you guys have a LO that's only like 6 weeks, and he's watching a 1 year old and you've been working over full time? </p> <p>I think gentle encouragement and belief in a partners potential is always welcome. Criticizing your partner or micromanaging how he spends his time at home with a newborn and a 1 year old might be less appreciated though. I guess it's always hard to know when someone needs encouragement and when it becomes more like complaining. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/maximizing-the-day#post-117612 Tue, 10 Apr 2012 22:21:11 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 117612@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@shellio: You feel like you can't say anything, right? I have no idea what it is like to be the stay at home parent of two! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/maximizing-the-day#post-117601 Tue, 10 Apr 2012 22:03:39 +0000 shellio 117601@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH is also a SAHD, he is great about getting things done during LO's naps although he has been sleeping in his crib since coming home from the hospital so hubby is free from that standpoint. There were a couple of weeks when DS was taking really short naps during the day and DH didn't get hardly anything done, I feel like he could put him down once in a while when he's awake, baby does great sitting in his chair and watching daddy or playing with a little toy but I don't say anything because I'm not home with him every day so I don't feel like its my place. </p> <p>@BoogieBea: I am so with you. I have made a conscious effort to put down the phone while feeding or playing with LO, and have tried to gently encourage DH to do the same. It is hard, for sure. He is only 4 mos old now but I personally don't like it when people look at their phones the whole time I'm spending time with them, I don't want to do that to my LO either. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/maximizing-the-day#post-117554 Tue, 10 Apr 2012 20:49:36 +0000 Andrea 117554@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jacks: If this is the only way that LJ can sleep then I don't think I would be toooooo annoyed. But I would say hey, do you need to spend the entire 2 hours playing video games every single day? Hope your convo went well!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/maximizing-the-day#post-117552 Tue, 10 Apr 2012 20:47:03 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 117552@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Andrea: LJ is in Ergo. She's a tiny girl.</p> <p>This is the only way that the mister can get her to sleep though secretly I think he likes it :) He could be programming but apparently doesn't feel like it.</p> <p>We talked about this thread tonight :P </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/maximizing-the-day#post-117441 Tue, 10 Apr 2012 19:41:53 +0000 Mrs. Pen 117441@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jacks: yeah my husband was like that. He'd complain that never has time for anything, but hecwould watch tv for hours when he got home. </p> <p>Whenever I talked to him it never seemed to get through. So I started suggesting things to do together. He'd sit down to watch tv and I'd ask if he wants to play a game, make dinner with me, etc. Or I'd suggest, "hey you were saying how you wanted to _____, wanna try it now?" I started planning activities I knew he wanted to try. I took him to the hardware store and told him to buy what he wanted for projects.</p> <p>It worked, he's a lot more productive with his time and offers to help out around the house too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/maximizing-the-day#post-117418 Tue, 10 Apr 2012 19:28:30 +0000 Mrs. Bee 117418@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>if i watched either charlie or olive all day i'd need more than a 2 hour break. but i'm just not cut out to be a sahm so mr jacks is tougher than i am for sure! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/maximizing-the-day#post-117410 Tue, 10 Apr 2012 19:23:30 +0000 enjollah 117410@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When DH took 5 weeks off to help after LO arrived, I found that he got a little more lax than compared to when he went to work. I think he saw that because I was the one nursing him, he couldn't help out that much. There were days where I got really frustrated and tried to communicate gently but because i was also battling with baby blues, it all just came out. haha. Anyway, I would suggest that you don't "bite your tongue" but make sure you communicate with him or else you'll get frustrated, bitter, and/or resentful. Yes, he does work hard and needs time to unwind but you need time as well and your marriage is a partnership. (*stepping down the soapbox now*) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/maximizing-the-day#post-117402 Tue, 10 Apr 2012 19:10:25 +0000 Andrea 117402@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jacks: What carrier does LJ fit in?</p> <p>If DH is on the computer anyway, is he not able to work on some programming while he is there? </p> <p>If that is the only way that LJ can nap, then I am not sure I would be upset about the lack of productivity during that time. Are you purposely keeping this nap routine or is this the only way that LJ will nap? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/maximizing-the-day#post-117348 Tue, 10 Apr 2012 18:13:20 +0000 BoogieBea 117348@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jacks: DH is a big video gamer too. He goes through phases. I used to always find him and LO sitting in front of the TV whenever I come back from the gym saturday mornings. But now he tries to mix in other activities with the LO so he's not in front of the screen the entire time. LO totally knows DH is the one to beg for TV because he'll eventually cave. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/maximizing-the-day#post-117301 Tue, 10 Apr 2012 17:26:22 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 117301@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: He said that while he was on FMLA he was going to finish programming an iPhone ap he was working on as well as some other business ventures. Now he's always saying, "there's just not enough time in the day to concentrate on coding."</p> <p>I try not to point out the obvious too often. If he doesn't want to move this stuff forward, it's his prerogative :)</p> <p>@BoogieBea: I don't mind that so much that he does two things at once (he's a pretty great multi-tasker). I just hate time sucks that add no value to our lives (TV, video games... things that don't do anything productive). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/maximizing-the-day#post-117289 Tue, 10 Apr 2012 17:16:28 +0000 BoogieBea 117289@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH is actually more productive during the kids' naps. What bugs me is that he'll surf the web or just be on his phone WHILE watching the kids. I sometimes wish he would engage them a little more but then I think, maybe we'll practice our "benign neglect" when he's with the kids. He's much better now that the weather is nice though. They go for walks or to the park. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/maximizing-the-day#post-117277 Tue, 10 Apr 2012 17:00:46 +0000 mrbee 117277@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am not built to watch the kids all day... when I do, I find myself browsing the web a lot more. Not sure why!</p> <p>Is there stuff he's neglecting that you'd like to see done? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/maximizing-the-day#post-117261 Tue, 10 Apr 2012 16:51:42 +0000 chopsuey 117261@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH enjoys playing video games every once in a while. I think I would have a problem if he played EVERY day for TWO hours?! Maybe you should talk to him and come up with a healthy compromise. 1 hour of video games and 1 hour of helping around the house?! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/maximizing-the-day#post-117255 Tue, 10 Apr 2012 16:48:35 +0000 heffalump 117255@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I get things done around the house, but I also do take time to relax. I need to for my health though. If I'm going non stop I'll get a migraine. Sometimes I'll think I'm having a good head day and go crazy doing things, but then I always regret it later. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/maximizing-the-day#post-117251 Tue, 10 Apr 2012 16:46:01 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 117251@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've written in the blog about how I try to maximize my use of every moment in the day. If I ever sit down to relax I'm folding clothes or blogging or returning emails... You know, life care maintainence.</p> <p>Little Jacks is still babyworn for her naps (which are now long and once a day in the afternoon) and so every day Mr. Jacks sits down and plays computer games for 2 hours while she sleeps. This drives. me. nuts! </p> <p>There is so much to be done and yet the time is frittered away. I can't imagine what I could do with 2 extra hours in my day! </p> <p>I never say anything because he deserves time to unwind since he works really hard... but does this ever happen to you? Do you bite your tongue or say something? </p>