https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 13 Apr 2026 11:00:52 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mealtime-dilemma#post-2234713 Mon, 13 Jul 2015 09:42:45 +0000 Truth Bombs 2234713@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>How does your LO eat at school? My LO is some times picky at home but peer pressure is a beautiful thing and she eats everything at school so I don't stress if she doesn't eat perfectly at home. I would definitely stop forcing him to finish everything on his plate, it just creates a negative association with food, and will eventually stop him from being able to know when he's full. As others have suggested, I would just save any left over dinner and continue to offer it as the only option any time he says he's hungry later in the evening. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mealtime-dilemma#post-2234707 Mon, 13 Jul 2015 09:39:53 +0000 Greentea 2234707@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@irene: well, we live next to a grocery store, so we just get a rotisserie chicken every few days! Yeah, haha, I am not some super mom, or super organized mom!!!!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mealtime-dilemma#post-2234609 Mon, 13 Jul 2015 08:20:46 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2234609@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>A few things that have helped us.</p> <p>1) A divided childs plate. She can scoop and eat easier.<br /> 2) Only putting the 3-4 bites we want her to eat on her plate. Don't load it up. Let her get the satisfaction of finishing a section.<br /> 3) Leave the plate sit out for maybe another hour (dinner ta 6-630 and reoffer at 7-730 before tossing it). After that no more stacks. We find even an hour later she may be hungry<br /> 4) Healthy snacks are ones mom and dad get to pick. We don really stress too much if she calls it a snack or a meal. There are times she has gotten cold slices of chicken from the fridge, or we've heated up some frozen broccoli. If they are hungry they should eat whatever. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mealtime-dilemma#post-2234488 Mon, 13 Jul 2015 06:22:35 +0000 looch 2234488@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yeah, food and growing are my two hot button issues. People are so quick to tell me all the reasons as to why my son does what he does around meal times, but I just smile and change the subject.</p> <p>The only thing I feel strongly about is not making it a power struggle. None of this sitting at the table until you finish what is on your plate. I know it works for some families, but for us, it's sure to create all kinds of additional stress that I don't need!</p> <p>eta: How is his eating the rest of the day? I think sometimes you have to look at the course of a week to get an idea of a kid's hunger patterns. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mealtime-dilemma#post-2234419 Sun, 12 Jul 2015 22:30:33 +0000 hummusgirl 2234419@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ideally (and this def doesn't happen for every meal), we serve family style so put a few different options in the middle and then we each serve ourselves. We help him, but basically he chooses what he wants from the options we've laid out, so there's not too much waste. He can ask for more of whatever he wants until it's gone - for example, if we're having fajitas, he may just want a tortilla with guacamole and shredded cheese, and we don't pressure him to add veggies/chicken. Basically we try not to put the hard sell on any particular food and treat it all as equal, model good eating, and keep meal time fun and relaxed. So far it's worked out well and he has, in fact, started eating the healthier stuff of his own volition. Some days he'll barely eat anything but then the next day he'll be ravenous - it seems to even out. He is skinny, but we were skinny kids too so I think it's just in his genes. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mealtime-dilemma#post-2234416 Sun, 12 Jul 2015 22:15:58 +0000 irene 2234416@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hummusgirl: Good for you! Does your child finish almost everything on his/her plate, or is there a lot of waste every day?</p> <p>If I just let him eat as he wishes every day, I'd either have to pack or throw away 40-50% of the things on his plate, every day.</p> <p>That was actually our approach when he was way younger, but he really stalled on growing, and I am so sick of throwing away so much food every day. Then one day DH just set up a rule that he must finish his dinner before he leaves the table. I only enforce this rule at dinner time at home (ie. weekdays dinner). It becomes a very unpleasant experience maybe 50-60% of the time, but I was also happy that I no longer have to throw away everything because he literally had to sit there for an hour+ until he finishes his dinner. He was also growing a bit more since then, not sure if that has anything to do with anything.</p> <p>Maybe I am doing something very wrong and I don't know what is it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mealtime-dilemma#post-2234410 Sun, 12 Jul 2015 22:09:02 +0000 hummusgirl 2234410@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We mostly use the "Division of Responsibility in Feeding" and it's worked really well (though we could just have a naturally good eater, who knows). It completely took away the power struggle around eating. <a href="http://ellynsatterinstitute.org/dor/divisionofresponsibilityinfeeding.php" rel="nofollow">http://ellynsatterinstitute.org/dor/divisionofresponsibilityinfeeding.php</a> </p> <p>We also do milk before bedtime so at least we're guaranteed some fat/calories then. If your ped isn't concerned about growth, I wouldn't worry too much about it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mealtime-dilemma#post-2234400 Sun, 12 Jul 2015 21:53:47 +0000 irene 2234400@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Greentea: How do you have Chicken around the house that is ready to eat at any time ? I feel like an inadequate mom now....</p> <p>@hilsy85: Doctor wasn't concerned but he did say it would be nice if we can make him eat more... because he is indeed quite skinny, more like 5 or 15% on the curve? I can't remember. His growth is just a constant worry to me since he was a baby, even though no one seems to care. You know, we all want our children to grow up to be tall instead of short, and I feel that I can/should do something about it when they are still growing while not creating bad habits. You know what I mean?</p> <p>@MrsRcCar: Tonight, he had a tangerine and about 5 oz of milk before we take a bath and bedtime (at 8:30pm tonight) and he still complained he was hungry!!!! Grrr!</p> <p>@lemong: We don't give him anything usually and just explained to him that he made a bad choice tonight he should remember this and make better choices tomorrow (which he doesn't). Some nights when I feel bad, maybe he finished his dinner and I felt like I didn't give him enough, I would give him some milk but that was that.</p> <p>@Mamasig: I hope I'd be laughing too in 15 years and he's 6'3". Hahaha. Highly doubt it. But I'd regret for the rest of my life if he's 5'2" in 15 years... (I am 5'4" DH is 5'9") </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mealtime-dilemma#post-2234397 Sun, 12 Jul 2015 21:51:08 +0000 Mrs Green Grass 2234397@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would probably make a bedtime snack part of your routine. My lo is very small so I have issues limiting food, but he eats ok at meals (not always). There have been nights where he has chicken as a snack before bed... If it's a routine, he's getting what he needs and dinner is totally separate issue. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mealtime-dilemma#post-2234394 Sun, 12 Jul 2015 21:46:40 +0000 Mamasig 2234394@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DS1 was has also gotten pretty picky and just no longer eats as much. I do the same as @Greentea. He is offered the food but eating it is hit or miss. So he'll usually request other "snacks" and eats those as dinner. This is usually yogurt, cheese, or fruit. I'll let him eat as much as that and milk as he wants. I hate food battles. I would just rather him eat something rather than nothing. Maybe it's developing bad habits but I can't stand him not eating something. I think it's a phase like most toddlers. I'll be laughing about this in 10 years when he is a teenager eating everything in sight. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mealtime-dilemma#post-2234386 Sun, 12 Jul 2015 21:40:52 +0000 lemong 2234386@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>What do you give him when he says he's hungry? DD pulls this sometimes and I'll ask her what she wants. When she can't say, sometimes I'll say "2 pistachios" and she'll say yes, eat 2, and then go to bed. So I know them that she's not really hungry. We do let her eat raisins during books before bed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mealtime-dilemma#post-2234382 Sun, 12 Jul 2015 21:37:58 +0000 MrsRcCar 2234382@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@irene: could he just be stalling? N loves to stall bedtime. We have late bedtimes at my place (10-10:30pm) every night. We eat around 6 or 7 every night. It just depends. After dinner if he eats it all, he may have a high value snack (oranges, strawberries, raspberries, etc. ) we brush teeth right before bed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mealtime-dilemma#post-2234381 Sun, 12 Jul 2015 21:37:50 +0000 hilsy85 2234381@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Has your doctor expressed concern about his height or weight? Or do you just feel like he looks small compared to his peers? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mealtime-dilemma#post-2234380 Sun, 12 Jul 2015 21:37:28 +0000 Greentea 2234380@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@irene: to be honest, I always have things around that she likes (and it changes). That is just my approach, but it works for us. She can always have cheese, for instance, or hummus, if she doesn't like dinner. Chicken, fruit, fresh veggies, whole wheat bread. She can always have those things. She has snack cups of cheerios, goldfish or Annie's bunnies, pretzels. I guess my approach has always been that I'd rather her eat pretzels, fruit, and hummus than nothing. Anyhow, this is just what works for us. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mealtime-dilemma#post-2234373 Sun, 12 Jul 2015 21:27:30 +0000 irene 2234373@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Jess1483: @wheres_c: @MrsRcCar: I thought about that.. but then I also thought - if he gets up and says he's hungry at 9:30pm, I let him finish his dinner, and if he really wants it, it will maybe take another half an hour to heat up, eat, and may make a mess on his pajamas. Then another struggle of cleaning up, brushing his teeth....etc. and before you know it, it would be 10:30pm to 11pm! Wouldn't that create a different can of worms..?</p> <p>@Greentea: What healthy snacks do you offer?<br /> He would eat cheerios and raisins any day over proper meal. I just don't want to give him the wrong idea that he will ALWAYS get snacks (healthy or not) if he doesn't eat his dinner. That will make him eat even less at mealtime... Not to mention, I am not a super fan of having to brush his teeth two times at night...</p> <p>And I have to say, there was one night daddy bought ice-cream him, we gave him ice-cream at 8pm at night before bathtime, and he still gets up at 9:30pm and says he's hungry!!!! Sometimes I don't know if I should take him seriously or not. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mealtime-dilemma#post-2234371 Sun, 12 Jul 2015 21:20:14 +0000 Greentea 2234371@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have a totally different approach. I always allow DD to have unlimited healthy snacks. So, if she doesn't eat a lot for a meal, I don't sweat it. She also gets unlimited milk. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mealtime-dilemma#post-2234368 Sun, 12 Jul 2015 21:16:51 +0000 MrsRcCar 2234368@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@irene: We are doing this right now with N. The doctor recommended like pp said to simply offer what he didn't finish at his meal and no other choices. It works most often. We are breaking bad habits started by Papa. N is pretty small for his age so I worried but the doctor said as long as he isn't losing weight then we could stick it out. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mealtime-dilemma#post-2234361 Sun, 12 Jul 2015 21:12:38 +0000 wheres_c 2234361@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Jess1483: that's true. We've also put dinner in the fridge and offered it again later if he expresses that he's hungry. If he's truly hungry he will eat it, otherwise he just wanted snacks. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mealtime-dilemma#post-2234360 Sun, 12 Jul 2015 21:11:31 +0000 wheres_c 2234360@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We go through similar with my 2.5 year old but we've mostly nipped it in the bud.<br /> If he eats all or most of his dinner in an appropriate amount of time he gets a reward (piece of chocolate). If he doesn't eat "enough" dinner he is not allowed to eat anything else that night. He eats breakfast when he wakes up.</p> <p>Our son is a skinny boy too, but he eats a ton throughout the day and he needs a little tough love now and then.<br /> We find it helps giving him choices for dinner (ie would you prefer chicken or sausages, potatoes or carrots) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mealtime-dilemma#post-2234359 Sun, 12 Jul 2015 21:09:49 +0000 Jess1483 2234359@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Gosh that's hard. I know what it's like to have a little one and he worried about growth. If you are truly concerned, maybe save the dinner he didn't eat and let him eat that again before bed? I wouldn't offer anything else, but if he understands that all he'll get is the same food, he might eat it at dinner time? On the other hand, that may cause a sleeping battle, so...? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mealtime-dilemma#post-2234353 Sun, 12 Jul 2015 20:59:37 +0000 irene 2234353@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am not sure if you guys even remotely has my problem.</p> <p>LO is 3.5 years old. He has never been known to be a great eater since he was a baby :crying: . He tends to play and not finish his meal at mealtime. And then he'd complain he's hungry and ask for snack afterwards.</p> <p>We have our dinner time at around 6pm. Over the weekdays (when we have dinner at home), I would insist he finish everything on his plate before he can go, which would take more than an hour. During weekends when we eat out, since we don't have more than an hour to sit around, he knows that we won't make him finish his food. Say if we order from the kid's menu, he would eat maybe 10-40% of what's on his plate. We have our bedtime at around 8:30pm-9pm. However, almost every night at 9:30pm, he would get up and complain to us that he is hungry. We would tell him, well, since you choose not to finish your dinner, that was your choice, and you'll just have to go to sleep hungry now. Can you make a better choice and finish your dinner tomorrow night? He's say yes.</p> <p>HOWEVER. This has been happening almost every night now, for the past I don't know how long.</p> <p>Honestly, if he is growing well like everyone else, I wouldn't even care. However, he is now probably one of the shortest and skinniest boy in his class. He is now shorter than his friend, who is about 6 days older than him, by 1/3 or 1/2 of his head. There are boys in his class that are at least a few inches taller than him. I just feel so bad and I felt maybe I should give him a snack or something, but I also don't want to create bad behavior and let him think if he didn't eat his dinner, he will get snacks at night anyway.</p> <p>Honestly, he is quite a smart boy and he learns a lot of things. I am not quite sure how he doesn't learn that if he doesn't eat your dinner until he is full, he is not going to get extra snack after dinner time even though he's hungry? </p> <p>Did you ever experience that? What would you do? </p>