https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 08 Jul 2026 03:54:52 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mean-girls-so-early#post-2497304 Wed, 16 Mar 2016 21:30:32 +0000 pastemoo 2497304@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mediagirl: I think this is normal. Kids have to learn what hurts feelings, and some take longer than others. Some adults (like me) still make mistakes thinking about what hurts me probably hurts someone else.</p> <p>Reading through the comments, I guess, I just think this is normal. I got picked on a decent amount, but I think some of that is just part of being human. I don't know. But this example seems very tame to me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mean-girls-so-early#post-2497271 Wed, 16 Mar 2016 20:59:12 +0000 regberadaisy 2497271@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JoyfulKiwi: thanks for chiming in. I'm really sad that kids this young can be bullies. </p> <p>I just don't get how at this young kids can be deliberately mean. Sure my daughter says mean things that are hurtful. But I really don't think she does it to *be* mean. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mean-girls-so-early#post-2497200 Wed, 16 Mar 2016 19:27:33 +0000 looch 2497200@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was shocked to hear that bullying is going on at my son's school, in his class. It's the more subtle kind, like if a certain child asks another to play, it has to be "cleared" with another child. </p> <p>Interestingly, it is the girls that have set this up, the boys don't care about that stuff, but I don't want my son to limit himself to playing with some kids but not others. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mean-girls-so-early#post-2496992 Wed, 16 Mar 2016 15:52:00 +0000 yoursilverlining 2496992@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>There is definitely a mean girl in my LO's room. The teachers (thankfully) know it and are on her, although let's be real, there are only 2 teachers, they can't watch everyone 24/7. </p> <p>It makes me sad to see this starting so early, but I'm also not surprised. After meeting said girl's mom, it's totally an apple/tree situation. I tell LO to ignore what X says because she is being a bully, but to stand up for herself or friends (by telling a teacher). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mean-girls-so-early#post-2496963 Wed, 16 Mar 2016 15:30:52 +0000 Maysprout 2496963@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Last year there was a girl in my dd 3 year old class who was a mean girl already. I don't think it was really her fault as much as parroting and emulating her parents example. The teachers had a couple talks with parents and I think no one knew what to do. this year luckily dd isn't in her class and all the drama went with her to the other class. It's amazing how disruptive one kid could be but she did a mix of making kids feel bad if they didn't have certain toys and teasing them and forming weird little clubs that only certain people were allowed in. I think another problem was she is the oldest and tallest kid in the class so had better verbal skills and more presence to organize the kids. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mean-girls-so-early#post-2496846 Wed, 16 Mar 2016 14:16:26 +0000 JoyfulKiwi 2496846@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've taught preschool for a while and I've seen it as early as 3. As soon as a kid realizes they have the ability to affect others' behavior &amp; mood, they try it out ("You can't come to my birthday party." Etc) I usually see it become a "mean girl" bullying thing when it's left unchecked or an adult in their life is a bully. It's worse when other girls "go along" and support the bully, so I think teaching young girls to be good "by-standers" is really important. </p> <p>@yellowbird: being bossy doesn't always lead to being a mean girl! Most kids realize telling others what to do isn't enjoyable and doesn't get them what they want, so they stop doing it :happy:</p> <p>ETA: it makes me really sad that that's going on in that classroom. Those girls are old enough to learn to be nicer. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mean-girls-so-early#post-2496761 Wed, 16 Mar 2016 13:20:32 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2496761@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We haven't seen direct bullying but my daughter around age 4 definitely started with the "I dont want to wear that its ugly or not pretty enough". </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mean-girls-so-early#post-2496758 Wed, 16 Mar 2016 13:18:08 +0000 gingerbebe 2496758@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ugh, I was bullied so badly in elementary school and it was such a miserable thing.</p> <p>Its one of the big reasons we want to send DS to a certain school in town (it goes from preschool to 12th grade). The school states that they have a zero tolerance policy on bullying and every single parent and student I've talked to at the school always mentions the policy on their own. They tell me that the school is SUPER intense about bullying and rude behavior will not put up with it. And because so many families send their kids to the school beginning in preschool, the kids grow up understanding the zero tolerance policy and I guess they do a great job self-policing too. One of my baggers at my grocery store is a recent grad and she was randomly telling me how much she loved her school experience there because she never really saw bullying or mean behavior like her other friends. I'm sure there's SOME bad apples, but if I can have my son avoid the level of BS I went through, I'll do it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mean-girls-so-early#post-2496755 Wed, 16 Mar 2016 13:16:21 +0000 mediagirl 2496755@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsKerch: ditto to everything you said. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mean-girls-so-early#post-2496752 Wed, 16 Mar 2016 13:15:38 +0000 yellowbird 2496752@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That's so sad :(</p> <p>My fear is that my daughter will be a mean girl. She loves bossing people around and telling them what to do! I hope she's not! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mean-girls-so-early#post-2496750 Wed, 16 Mar 2016 13:15:14 +0000 twodoghouse 2496750@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom is a preschool teachers for 3 year olds and she sees this a lot in both the kids and the moms. :sad: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mean-girls-so-early#post-2496745 Wed, 16 Mar 2016 13:12:40 +0000 Mamaof2 2496745@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I saw it this past year at age 4.<br /> It broke my heart and I was so thankful my DD doesn't play with that group of girls </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mean-girls-so-early#post-2496744 Wed, 16 Mar 2016 13:11:38 +0000 snowjewelz 2496744@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've seen it at church; some kids 4-5 were calling this other kid weird, etc. I talked to them but they were just kinda like, meh :meh: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mean-girls-so-early#post-2496741 Wed, 16 Mar 2016 13:10:49 +0000 Madison43 2496741@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>A friend recently had to meet with her daughter's preschool director over mean girl behavior/bullying issues. It makes me so so sad. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mean-girls-so-early#post-2496739 Wed, 16 Mar 2016 13:10:21 +0000 mediagirl 2496739@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lilyann: 3 year olds!!! Ugh. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mean-girls-so-early#post-2496738 Wed, 16 Mar 2016 13:10:15 +0000 MrsKerch 2496738@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ugh! I am so nervous about this. I really hope my little one gets my husbands "don't give a hoot" attitude. I had a tough time with mean girls myself. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mean-girls-so-early#post-2496733 Wed, 16 Mar 2016 13:07:51 +0000 lilyann 2496733@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've seen it in 3 year old girls before and it makes me super sad. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mean-girls-so-early#post-2496731 Wed, 16 Mar 2016 13:06:38 +0000 mrsjyw 2496731@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>haven't seen it yet, but makes me so sad :crying: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mean-girls-so-early#post-2496726 Wed, 16 Mar 2016 13:03:42 +0000 mediagirl 2496726@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was dropping my daughter off at her daycare this morning and we were walking around the playground. There were 3, 4 and young 5 year old's on the playground at the time. It was pajama day and I had noticed 3 or 4 of the older girls had on long Princess nightgowns. We walked past a group of the 5 year old's and I heard one say to another, "Aren't you sad you didn't wear your nightgown today?" The girl was wearing pj's - they were just shorts and a tee shirt. She responded by saying, "This is my nightgown, I like it." And sounded sad. I noticed her later standing off to the side with her arms folded and a sad look on her face.</p> <p>UGH. Five year old's. Already being mean girls. I hate it!!</p> <p>How early have you seen this? </p>