https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 28 Apr 2026 23:35:02 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mentalemotional-health-check-in/page/2#post-2914036 Wed, 15 Apr 2020 11:34:09 +0000 periwinklebee 2914036@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@graceandjoy: Uh, I'm really sorry :sad: and yeah, it's going to be really stressful from a health perspective too when things open back up. It's hard to believe that the U.S. will have its act together enough to do testing/contact tracing anywhere on the level of some of the Asian countries, which are themselves struggling... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mentalemotional-health-check-in/page/2#post-2914035 Wed, 15 Apr 2020 11:25:11 +0000 crazydoglady 2914035@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PurplePeony: What is your DH doing while you do all of this? You said he essentially isn't working. right? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mentalemotional-health-check-in/page/2#post-2914028 Wed, 15 Apr 2020 10:39:44 +0000 muffinsmuffins 2914028@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PurplePeony: this is insane and completely ridiculous. I’m not working since I can’t besides a couple team meetings during the week so I’m the full time SAHM now, no questions asked.</p> <p>Sadly I don’t think your situation is that uncommon because of the pervasive gender roles that still dominate our society. As usual, women get the shit end of the stick. Your DH needs to check himself ASAP. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mentalemotional-health-check-in/page/2#post-2914015 Wed, 15 Apr 2020 08:55:15 +0000 wrkbrk 2914015@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PurplePeony: What!? Why won’t he do (close to) full time childcare if he’s not working and you are?? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mentalemotional-health-check-in/page/2#post-2913994 Wed, 15 Apr 2020 07:01:47 +0000 graceandjoy 2913994@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PurplePeony: I am sorry things are so one sided currently! I hope your DH will come around. It’s def a lot for everyone to digest but I do think that all moms are being total rockstars; we jump in and just do what needs to be done 💪🏻 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mentalemotional-health-check-in/page/2#post-2913993 Wed, 15 Apr 2020 06:59:55 +0000 graceandjoy 2913993@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@macintosh: the weather this week sucks and makes it even worse! I feel like when it’s nice and we can spend a lot of time outside, everyone is happier. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mentalemotional-health-check-in/page/2#post-2913992 Wed, 15 Apr 2020 06:59:05 +0000 graceandjoy 2913992@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@periwinklebee: The racism forwards Asians is just appalling. I’ve been very fortunate to not have encountered obvious racism in my adulthood (and may have been oblivious to subtle cases). Now I am super self conscious if I have to go out :meh: Meanwhile so many Asian Americans have done so much to help with the pandemic. </p> <p>Man, the future is not even something I can think about. You are so right; we can’t just shut down indefinitely; but how do we go on?! I feel like we will be SO stressed worrying about health if we just have to go back to normal at some point without a better grip of this virus. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mentalemotional-health-check-in/page/2#post-2913980 Tue, 14 Apr 2020 23:52:40 +0000 mrs.kiwi 2913980@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@periwinklebee: same. Doing ok but it’s crazy to think how disruptive this virus has and will be to the world. I have no idea what to expect next month, next year... it’s hard to picture life in the future- it could range from returning to “normal” to... who knows what? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mentalemotional-health-check-in/page/2#post-2913979 Tue, 14 Apr 2020 22:51:08 +0000 periwinklebee 2913979@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm more worried about what's to come, how much worse things will get, and how many years this could go on for. We'll need antibody tests to more fully assess the situation, but it seems like most public health experts are expecting based on the evidence to date that a relatively low share of the population has been infected and COVID is just really, really deadly. </p> <p>I don't see a way around this basic reality. A vaccine will take time, treatments for viruses tend not to be magic bullets, presymptomatic and asymptimatic spread make squashing it with contact tracing difficult, and the economy can't be totally shut down for two years or more until there is a vaccine. I just read an article that reflected on pictures of commuters in London with their briefcases walking past bombed out buildings during WWII on their way to work. It concluded that we may just have to learn to live with both fundamental changes to our lives and a higher level of sickness and death to get the economy functioning at some minimum level that's sustainable for the foreseeable future. It will take both the economy and daily life considerable time to return to normal. On some level nothing shocking about that, these sorts of disruptions have been common in many places and times, just not in the post-WWII developed world... And of course I feel guilty that there are people who have it much, much worse than we do...</p> <p>We are a (half) Asian-American family, so I'm also kind of worried about what sorts of xenophobia this might stir up, especially as the crisis goes on for longer and becomes even more painful for people. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mentalemotional-health-check-in/page/2#post-2913945 Tue, 14 Apr 2020 14:28:00 +0000 macintosh 2913945@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Today sucks. I feel super depressed and unmotivated. I’m working from home full time but I just can’t get motivated to do much of anything. I psyched myself up to get a project done by lunch and take DS to pick up Panera from the car, then my car wouldn’t start.</p> <p>I just feel exhausted like I need to take a nap, even though I’m supposed to be working. My mom is still going to work so she doesn’t understand what it like - she even thinks I have it easy. I feel like there’s no end in sight. Even DS seems depressed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mentalemotional-health-check-in#post-2913926 Tue, 14 Apr 2020 08:22:00 +0000 MoonMoon 2913926@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@crazydoglady: thank you :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mentalemotional-health-check-in#post-2913924 Tue, 14 Apr 2020 07:27:44 +0000 Chuckles 2913924@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Carrot: yes! My parents keep saying, "we know this is hard" and then asking us to do stuff virtually with them or showing up at our house wanting to visit from the sidewalk. I know they're bored at home and miss us, but we are trying to juggle so many things, including a baby who takes 20 minutes to fall asleep for naps that only last 30 minutes. I don't have time to be their entertainment.<br /> @muffinsmuffins: that sounds really hard! I worked very part time when DS was a baby and enjoyed it, but this is completely different. We could go places, see friends, walk to get coffee, and **I wasn't also trying to do a full time job from home**. I'm sure the adjustment to staying in is even so much harder if being a stay at home parent isn't your thing (which is a totally valid way to feel - I do think our family works better since I went back to teaching full time) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mentalemotional-health-check-in#post-2913917 Tue, 14 Apr 2020 05:33:16 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2913917@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Chuckles: right?! My dad called me on Saturday and asked me to research for him the small business relief programs that came out. He goes "I don't have time to deal with this so can you since you're home?" Yes, he goes to work still (he owns a convenience store). He has a 6-7 hour workday where he's in his office 95% of the time right now. He comes home and watches TV and eats dinner that my mom, who's also working full time, makes for him. Here I am working full time, parenting full time, running a life full time, but he's the busy one. Never mind that my brother is home unemployed right now but it didn't even occur to my dad to call him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mentalemotional-health-check-in#post-2913915 Tue, 14 Apr 2020 01:40:33 +0000 PurplePeony 2913915@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I’m mostly doing okay, but work is impossible. It’s a combination of technology problems that are making me work second-shift hours (not enough bandwidth for everyone in my organization who needs to telework) and DH not being good at keeping DD away from me when I’m trying to work. Not to mention, I’m tired and distracted so my focus and concentration are shot. I just can’t seem to find a truly workable schedule, and though my boss is very patient, I need to start producing better, soon. DH’s job is on hold because he’s in a field where work just isn’t possible right now, and I feel bad putting the bulk of the childcare in him, but it’s the way it needs to be and he doesn’t seem to fully understand or appreciate that. I’m just exhausted from getting up with DD in the morning, trying to go back and forth between conference calls and entertaining her during the morning, cooking lunch, trying to do some actual work in the afternoon, cooking dinner, doing bedtime, then logging back on to work until midnight or after. There’s no separation between work and family, and work is definitely getting the short straw. If it weren’t for the bandwidth issues, I think it would be easier to set real “work hours,” but this is just how it is and there’s not much I can do. But I’ve always felt that my DH doesn’t really feel like my work is as important as his, and because my hours can be flexible while his can’t (when he’s able to work normally), he doesn’t respect the fact that I actually do need to put the hours in. And now it’s coming to a head. It’s just stress I don’t need right now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mentalemotional-health-check-in#post-2913910 Mon, 13 Apr 2020 21:32:15 +0000 wrkbrk 2913910@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@crazydoglady: Congratulations💗💗Here is to hoping in 3 weeks we have a timeline to “normal.” </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mentalemotional-health-check-in#post-2913907 Mon, 13 Apr 2020 21:16:11 +0000 graceandjoy 2913907@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Miss Ariel: I know... It’s like I don’t want to read, but I also feel like I need to keep up so I can have a clear picture (as much as possible) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mentalemotional-health-check-in#post-2913906 Mon, 13 Apr 2020 21:15:22 +0000 graceandjoy 2913906@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@CatchAFallingStar: congratulations mama! I had my 3rd in Jan and he is seriously the reason I’m hanging in there! Although he wakes me up, he doesn’t whine or complain or fight with siblings or keep nagging for a snack 😂 You are most definitely not alone! I totally agree not having an end date is what makes this so hopeless. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mentalemotional-health-check-in#post-2913898 Mon, 13 Apr 2020 20:34:41 +0000 CatchAFallingStar 2913898@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@crazydoglady: he can work from home but he usually works at his parents’ because the kids are too distracting here... and he can’t be bothered when he’s working so there’s really no point in him being here </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mentalemotional-health-check-in#post-2913897 Mon, 13 Apr 2020 20:16:20 +0000 crazydoglady 2913897@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MoonMoon: I'm so sorry. Do whatever it is you need to do, even if it means laying in bed all day without guilt or any kind. This is a season. Even though your employer doesn't seem to care, we care and are so grateful for you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mentalemotional-health-check-in#post-2913896 Mon, 13 Apr 2020 20:01:39 +0000 MoonMoon 2913896@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Cereal: @graceandjoy: thank you both so much for your kind words. This thread has been great for venting, and for also remembering that we're all going through this. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mentalemotional-health-check-in#post-2913893 Mon, 13 Apr 2020 18:25:36 +0000 Miss Ariel 2913893@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@CatchAFallingStar: sending you lots of :heart: </p> <p>I will say I too keep reading news updates and Dh keeps telling me to stop. But I feel like if I have at least an idea of what’s going on, I’ll have some semblance of what’s going on going forward.</p> <p>I’ll also add that even when Dh is able to occupy the kids outside or in the other room, I have a really hard time being able to focus on working and turning everything else off. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mentalemotional-health-check-in#post-2913890 Mon, 13 Apr 2020 18:04:02 +0000 crazydoglady 2913890@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@CatchAFallingStar: Hugs, mama. If I haven't told you, congratulations on your newest bundle. :heart: </p> <p>It's so hard right now. I can't imagine having just had a baby. But we are all in this together. I would encourage you to step away from all news and just do your part in protecting your family. Can your DH work from home? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mentalemotional-health-check-in#post-2913889 Mon, 13 Apr 2020 17:48:22 +0000 CatchAFallingStar 2913889@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I’m not doing well. I have a strong history of depression and anxiety and this situation is bringing them both out. I have good days, but mainly because my husband is on paternity leave right now (I just had a baby 2 weeks ago). I’m really worried about what it’ll be like when he goes back to work in 3 weeks. I had a few hours with the three of the girls today and it was not easy. My older two are 5 and 2. It’s so hard not to be able to have my 5 year old go to school and not being able to escape to places like the park or Target or Starbucks for a nice break. Little things that now seem like such major luxuries.<br /> I also read the news too much and it’s so devoid of hope right now. I wish there was a date we could look forward to or some sense of knowing when this might end. It’s so open-ended and the unknown is downright scary. Trump wants to speed it all up and get things open, which would be wonderful in a sense but really stupid if it’ll threaten more lives. Anyway, yeah.... this is very hard and sometimes it’s easy to forget that literally the whole world is in this together. It feels so lonely and like I’m the only one feeling this way. It’s nice to talk about it openly. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mentalemotional-health-check-in#post-2913887 Mon, 13 Apr 2020 17:26:35 +0000 muffinsmuffins 2913887@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Chuckles: this resonates with me a lot because I didn’t have a choice in this and for those of us who are now suddenly SAHM it’s a heck of a lot different when you can go to a freakin park and actually play than being trapped in your house/yard day in and day out. I’ve seen some people saying the same thing and I’m like NO! This is NOT the same thing as being able to choose to be home.</p> <p>I have always said that neither of us could be stay at home moms because I NEED to be out of the house with a purpose. I’m by no means a workaholic and I actually resented my job a lot before this thinking if only I could work less I would be happier and have more time. But now I’m suddenly thrust into being a stay at home mom 24/7.. I can’t work from home and my office is closed which I am glad for but still.. I need a substantial amount of time to myself, I need to problem solve and interact with adults. I’ve read a few people saying they are loving the time off and I feel sad that I don’t. Sure, we’ve had some really fun times and my kids are my everything but as this goes on, I just get more and more sad and guilty I can’t be a good SAHM to them that makes the most of it and brings new and exciting things to the day. I feel like no matter what situation people are in, it mostly wasn’t their choice and that really sucks. It’s crazy to me that literally a month ago we went to school and daycare and work as normal and in 24 hours, our entire life changed with no idea when it will or if it will go back. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mentalemotional-health-check-in#post-2913884 Mon, 13 Apr 2020 17:04:10 +0000 graceandjoy 2913884@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MoonMoon: :heart: I am so sorry it’s so hard. I am praying for you and baby to be protected and healthy through all of this. </p> <p>@Chuckles: That’s how I feel with the meme that basically says we won’t ever make fun of SAHP again. It’s not the same thing; this is crisis parenting! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mentalemotional-health-check-in#post-2913883 Mon, 13 Apr 2020 17:02:18 +0000 graceandjoy 2913883@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@muffinsmuffins: I am super sad for the kids too; though I think they are less sad than us as they don’t truly understand missing out, or they get over it and are able to enjoy the now more than us. </p> <p>@Miss Ariel: Yes; house is getting destroyed and seeing messes and clutter is a huge pet peeve that sets me off so I’m pretty much mad everyday lol</p> <p>@wrkbrk: I’m so sorry about your loss :sad: I think all of us are just trying to manage and not unravel on a daily basis, so I know I have horrible days where I can’t keep it all pent up anymore. Our dog went to my inlaws the weekend before I gave birth, and we kept her there for a few weeks as I was recovering from csection. But then this happened and I have no idea when she can come back. </p> <p>@Mrs. Cereal: Uggh yes to not being able to “turn it off”. I find that once I start getting upset/aggravated and what not, it usually just escalates as we have no where to go. I’ve had to go on a walk alone (well with the baby) to cool off from being so mad! </p> <p>@JennyPenny: Same. Keep thinking we have all this “time” and now that we are all together we can implement new things, but in reality none of it works out and I also binge. Most important grocery on my list is icecream lol </p> <p>@lindseykaye: I echo everything in you are saying! I think it is important to acknowledge your hardships even if it’s not that bad. I know I kept telling myself that and therefore keep suppressing all my feelings and therefore making it very easy to set me off into a downward spiral... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mentalemotional-health-check-in#post-2913882 Mon, 13 Apr 2020 16:53:55 +0000 Chuckles 2913882@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Miss Ariel: It is crazy how people with adult children don't get it. I was venting to my mom how hard it was going to be to be at home with DS and DD indefinitely while working from home. And she said, "I stayed at home for years with 2 kids. And I loved it." In a guilt-trippy, I loved staying at home and you should, too, kind of way. I didn't even know what to say since there is really nothing comparable to this situation, especially since she wasn't working outside the home at the same time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mentalemotional-health-check-in#post-2913881 Mon, 13 Apr 2020 16:52:32 +0000 graceandjoy 2913881@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bhbee: I feel you on everything you said! My middle is the wild child but sometimes I also cannot stand the constant whining/complaining from my oldest! </p> <p>@crazydoglady: Yesterday being Easter was what made it extra hard! I kept telling myself it’s about Jesus! I have hope in Jesus! I should focus on what’s important! But I just could not get out of the anger/sadness. But alas, today is a new day! </p> <p>@Mrs. Carrot: That’s why I started this thread! We need a place where no problem is to small and where we feel safe to unload a bit</p> <p>@caitcat: Haha my kids would just start throwing fits... There is no stare down! My middle definitely did throw many fits over everything Easter :meh: </p> <p>@codeitall: I’m sorry things are all falling on you. Could he be having a hard time with all of this with no outlet? Would you consider tabling the potty training for a little while for your sanity? If you are afraid there won’t be a more opportune time? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mentalemotional-health-check-in#post-2913880 Mon, 13 Apr 2020 16:44:32 +0000 Mrs. Cereal 2913880@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MoonMoon: This is so hard. I am so sorry that you are feeling this way. I agree that this is especially difficult for pregnant women because there is such a high level of uncertainty about how it could affect the pregnancy. My best friend is 31 weeks and just this past week was finally allowed to do telehealth. Her boss was largely unsympathetic about her being uncomfortable with being in direct contact with infected people. I know essential workers are just that, essential. But there should be some level of consideration for pregnant and immuno-compromised people working in health care. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mentalemotional-health-check-in#post-2913878 Mon, 13 Apr 2020 16:34:13 +0000 MoonMoon 2913878@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm having a really, really, really hard time. Between the nausea and exhaustion of the first trimester and the anxiety and frustration of my job, I'm basically catatonic. I spend all day in bed or on the couch, I'm a totally absent spouse and mother, and I'm crying all the time. I resent my job so much. Not only for the general nonsense that all healthcare workers are dealing with, but the fact that nobody cares about pregnant or other high-risk/vulnerable employees. Of course I can't quit, because my health insurance is through my job. So I have to fight every survival instinct and walk into the hospital day after day knowing I'm putting myself, my unborn child, and my family at home at risk. And I effing hate it. If I lose this pregnancy, that's probably it for me. This was a hard-won pregnancy. I know after everything blows over I will not stay at this job. I'll never forget this feeling of my employer not giving a shit about me. </p>