https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 24 Aug 2026 12:26:33 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/midish-life-personalityprioritiesgoal-changes-anyone#post-1766677 Thu, 17 Jul 2014 23:04:44 +0000 Applesandbananas 1766677@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lizzywiz: yeah, I actually applied for a new job today. Maybe a change of scenery will help! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/midish-life-personalityprioritiesgoal-changes-anyone#post-1766637 Thu, 17 Jul 2014 22:38:22 +0000 blackbird 1766637@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes "trapped". Except I like where I am....city wise. I have used the term "I'm floundering" to DH a few times. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/midish-life-personalityprioritiesgoal-changes-anyone#post-1766615 Thu, 17 Jul 2014 22:31:06 +0000 Mama Bird 1766615@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@irene: I can so relate to your novel :) I used to just take on whatever work I had to do, and stay as late as I had to so it got done. With a child... forget it. Now there's only the 9 to 5 day and whatever I have energy for at night, and I'm constantly behind on work. And it's impossible to plan ahead because you never know when a client needs something ASAP! </p> <p>@blackbird: hey, I'm an engineer too! I think it comes with the job. I cannot keep up with the workload and I'm questioning if there's a point to it every day :bummed: </p> <p>All that hard work is getting my family nowhere - it helps put food on the table and pay the rent, but I see my kid for three awake hours a day if I'm lucky, and I'll never be able to give him a good education or any kind of awesome experiences in life. Probably not even a mother's love, because I'm not around that often :( When I was single I thought I'm on top of the world because I can pay my rent. Now I think I was so shortsighted! Should have been saving up so I can be a SAHM for a little while... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/midish-life-personalityprioritiesgoal-changes-anyone#post-1766369 Thu, 17 Jul 2014 20:37:14 +0000 lizzywiz 1766369@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Applesandbananas: ha- I was actually thinking of getting a puppy as my next 'big thing'. :grin: </p> <p>You know what is weird? I have worked my whole life to get to this point. To get here and feel dissatisfied is an eye opener. I am really hoping that pouring my extra focus into my career (and the resulting income) is the answer. Funny, too, that some bees are slowing down on careers as a midlife change and some bees are revving up careers at part of midlife changes. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/midish-life-personalityprioritiesgoal-changes-anyone#post-1766151 Thu, 17 Jul 2014 20:08:12 +0000 catlady 1766151@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Applesandbananas: I could totally have written this post, except we do plan to have a second baby at some point. I actually started thinking about TTC #2 much earlier than our original plan, even though we are definitely not ready! It has been hard transitioning from always having something new to look forward to and plan to just trying to enjoy life as is. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/midish-life-personalityprioritiesgoal-changes-anyone#post-1766123 Thu, 17 Jul 2014 20:00:14 +0000 DillonLion 1766123@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My problem lately is feeling really passionate and goal oriented...but not sure where to direct it. Need a purpose. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/midish-life-personalityprioritiesgoal-changes-anyone#post-1766112 Thu, 17 Jul 2014 19:55:17 +0000 Applesandbananas 1766112@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So glad I'm not alone. </p> <p>I've been feeling really lost lately. I'm so used to looking forward to the next big thing. In the past 7 years, I've had 2 graduations, an engagement, a wedding, a pregnancy, a baby, 2 new jobs, a house, a puppy :) and now that LO is a year and things are settling down a bit, I have time to myself to think and I've realized there is no next big thing. Being one and done is the right choice for us and I don't actually WANT another LO, I just don't know what I want. </p> <p>I'm trying to plan trips to have something fun to do, something to look forward to, but getting some resistance from DH :(</p> <p>tl;dr I can relate! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/midish-life-personalityprioritiesgoal-changes-anyone#post-1764384 Thu, 17 Jul 2014 10:13:47 +0000 MrsSCB 1764384@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, I'm definitely with you. I wrote some about this last week, but as I get older I feel less inclined to be quite so career-focused. I'm a journalist, which comes with weird schedules, working on holidays, etc. All that used to be fine when I was younger, but now that I'm married and getting ready to TTC, I'm realizing the appeal of a 9 to 5 job. Also the money thing. Journalism is not a field for making money, lol. I thought that was fine as long as I was happy, but I'm starting to realize money does matter. And I'd like to make more of it ;-) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/midish-life-personalityprioritiesgoal-changes-anyone#post-1764356 Thu, 17 Jul 2014 10:05:58 +0000 AmeliaBedilia 1764356@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I definitely feel some changes. I have always been very career focused, and with a very over-stressed job, have been favoring better hours over money. I will soon be starting a new job with better hours (4 day workweek!) and less stress. DH is starting a business, so how he does in his business makes a much bigger difference in our bottom line than how I will do. I am feeling a shift to where his career is more important than mine. I don't know exactly how I like it, but I do like less stress and to have the bread-winning pressure off me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/midish-life-personalityprioritiesgoal-changes-anyone#post-1764328 Thu, 17 Jul 2014 09:58:58 +0000 lizzywiz 1764328@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Greentea: oh, no, there's two of us?! . Is it the crazy family? Chronic over-thinking? My slow transition from idealistic nerd to yuppy wanna be? lol. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/midish-life-personalityprioritiesgoal-changes-anyone#post-1764258 Thu, 17 Jul 2014 09:43:59 +0000 lizzywiz 1764258@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JennyD: @SandraDee: those sound like AWESOME priority shifts.<br /> @SandraDee: Except for the occasional bad day, I find myself caring less about my looks as I get older, which can be weird because many of my peers are trying harder than ever to combat the wrinkles and pounds. We can meet for lunch and easily half the conversation going on around me is about losing weight and eye wrinkles, lol. </p> <p>@Mae: I never wanted kids or a house, either,...until I did. And I never cared to live somewhere all manicured and sanitized, but now I have a kid and I am that person talking about 'good' schools and street where kids can ride their bikes, ha. Ugh. I am a little uncomfortable in my own skin :silly: .</p> <p>@looch: @blackbird: 'trapped' is always the word I use. It takes me way too much introspection to figure out the source of what ever is making me feel that trapped feeling. That is why I am a little unsure if I really want big changes or if it is my mind tricking me. That vague feeling of 'something needs to change' isn't super helpful. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/midish-life-personalityprioritiesgoal-changes-anyone#post-1763776 Thu, 17 Jul 2014 07:52:43 +0000 blackbird 1763776@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am totally having a quarterlife crisis. At 28. @raindrop, I can totally relate as an engineer. I am also heavily burnt out, so I'm sure that's a factor, and it's hard to tell if that's the big issue I'm having or if there's more. I tend to have these dramatic highs and lows in my life, though. </p> <p>I don't even totally know what I want in life, which is the hard part. If i know what I want, I can work towards it. But until then, it's sort of this existential "thing" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/midish-life-personalityprioritiesgoal-changes-anyone#post-1763723 Thu, 17 Jul 2014 07:30:29 +0000 looch 1763723@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am in a constant state of flux, it feels like...the traditional things that are supposed to "ground" people don't make me feel grounded, I feel more trapped? </p> <p>I think I just have permanent wanderlust and will want to move again soon. I don't see it as uprooting though, just as exposure to new things. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/midish-life-personalityprioritiesgoal-changes-anyone#post-1763461 Wed, 16 Jul 2014 22:33:21 +0000 SandraDee 1763461@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I gave up trying to lose weight. I live for me and I have never been happier :D </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/midish-life-personalityprioritiesgoal-changes-anyone#post-1763419 Wed, 16 Jul 2014 21:53:51 +0000 Mae 1763419@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I can definitely relate! </p> <p>I was always a high achiever. I skipped a grade in elementary school and it's funny how that sort of thing cements you for life as "the smart kid who skipped a grade." Did really well in high school, graduated from college in 3 years and went straight to law school where I did well too. Always set and accomplished goals. I always pictured myself as a workaholic. Never wanted a house or kids. </p> <p>But I met my husband while I was in law school and fell in love. I got a lawyer job and hated it. And suddenly I wanted a house and we got one and I love it. And then I got pregnant and then 3 days before I had LO I lost my job (which I hated anyways but I don't know what else to do). </p> <p>So now I have a newborn and no job and law school loans. So I can't afford to SAH, and I don't really want to forever (although I would love if I could spend LO's first year here..). But I don't know what I want to do. Or what I'm qualified to do. And I feel like I don't have time to look even if I did know. Harumph. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/midish-life-personalityprioritiesgoal-changes-anyone#post-1763415 Wed, 16 Jul 2014 21:46:51 +0000 Greentea 1763415@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lizzywiz: ARE YOU ME!? :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/midish-life-personalityprioritiesgoal-changes-anyone#post-1763396 Wed, 16 Jul 2014 21:29:43 +0000 JennyD 1763396@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I can relate too!</p> <p>I've always been one to take on more responsibility, and have been steadily doing so my whole life. Particularly with my family, I've always been available and guilted into doing whatever they need and dealing with whatever their drama is for the day.</p> <p>And lately, I just can't be bothered to deal with them, and I won't be guilted into doing something I don't feel like doing! Even if it IS my "family". </p> <p>I guess I've just been re examining my priorities, and it's time for me to do things for me! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/midish-life-personalityprioritiesgoal-changes-anyone#post-1763383 Wed, 16 Jul 2014 21:16:01 +0000 lizzywiz 1763383@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@irene: never apologize for writing a novel - those are the best posts to read! I struggled with overtime vs. Baby, too. Different field, way less overtime, but same concept: I was used to staying late when I needed. And people/ clients were so irritated when I wasn't going above and beyond all of the time. It is hard.@Mrs. Jacks: I am definitely a next big thing person. I know that is why I am thinking these heavy thoughts. I did highschool to military to marriage to higher ed to baby to career to...now what? I am hoping to channel my crazy into a career move before I use it to uproot the family- if I still want to relocate after the career changes I'll know it wasn't just my next big thing. And, oh God, figuring out if the next thing is a baby or fostering or whatever (we planned one and done or adopt), well, that can keep me awake at night. I definitely feel the time crunch of needing to get my family planning and long term finances figured out. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/midish-life-personalityprioritiesgoal-changes-anyone#post-1763321 Wed, 16 Jul 2014 20:32:06 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 1763321@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm definitely experiencing existential angst about next steps. The girls have gotten pretty easy and we haven't made any big moves nor do we have anything big to look forward to. I guess I keep looking for the next big thing and am wondering if that's supposed to be a baby or something else. I can't tell! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/midish-life-personalityprioritiesgoal-changes-anyone#post-1763316 Wed, 16 Jul 2014 20:27:32 +0000 irene 1763316@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Me!</p> <p>My story was, I've always have 24 hours a day all to myself all my life. I am even an only child (so I never had to accommodate my time for anyone ever, really). I always know how to achieve something I want by working really hard, around the clock, and I usually get there. That's how I know how the world works. I have always worked very hard, and in my past jobs / work, very often and very naturally I work overtime without a blink. And that's how I wanted it. With my recent work (I've been freelancing as a broadcast designer for the past 8 years) it is typical to work 60-80 hours a week. Clients call to get something aired by next week. Or they call before thanksgiving and ask for something delivered by the week after thanksgiving for Christmas promotion (ie. inflexible deadline)...etc. I just pull all those sh*t off. It was stressful but fulfilling. Naive me thought life would resume just the way it was after LO. No one told me it wouldn't. (or I wouldn't have believed them)</p> <p>After LO, I am really struggling because I no longer have 24 hours a day. And my life has become very unpredictable. Say, a client called and want to get a promo up by next week. I can no longer confidently take that without the fear that LO may get sick and may not be able to go to school. I can no longer pull all-nighters if I wanted to because I am usually too tired. I barely get 6-7 solid hours a day because I have to get off work at 4pm to start cooking for LO, and pick him up from daycare at 4:30pm. So slowly, I turned down jobs and my clients dropped me. </p> <p>Don't get me wrong, I love LO to pieces and he is the best thing that ever happened to me. I truly enjoy all the time we spend together, and that's part of the reason why I don't want to hire more help in order to keep my career going. I don't want strangers to take away my time with LO. It is tough to learn that I am not as efficient as I thought I was, and I don't understand why I can't do what all working mom does so easily. It is very frustrating that I only have maybe 18-20 hours a day instead of 24 while my weekends are completely gone.</p> <p>Now I am taking time off to explore another career path (within art/design) but it is not going as well as I wished. Very frustrating too when I don't have the time I needed to at least try my best to get there.</p> <p>Other than that, I am ok with my house and neighborhood. It is more that I don't know how to deal with this change and how this change unearths my knowledge of how the world works, since childhood.</p> <p>Sorry I wrote a novel ! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/midish-life-personalityprioritiesgoal-changes-anyone#post-1763050 Wed, 16 Jul 2014 17:11:21 +0000 Raindrop 1763050@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think a lot of people go through something like this. I believe they now call it a quarter life crisis. They have a big reflection on what they are doing.</p> <p>A lot of my engineering friends went through this. I don't know what it is about engineers but they seem to have a moment in their life and decide why am I doing this? Then they quit their jobs (good paying jobs) and just travel the world to find themselves or start their own business. I'm going to say that engineering doesn't seem to be as rewarding as other jobs and I know a lot of engineers because I am one myself.</p> <p>I have gone through moments of ... maybe I want to be a stay at home mom but that doesn't last very long.</p> <p>All in all I think it's nice to stop once in a while and think about these things because so many of us just go through life without thinking. I think it's perfectly normal. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/midish-life-personalityprioritiesgoal-changes-anyone#post-1763043 Wed, 16 Jul 2014 17:05:54 +0000 lizzywiz 1763043@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Aimed: Yeah, I'm working on being comfortable with being less idealistic and, in many ways, more conservative.. A couple years ago, a friend said, "I heard when you have kids you become more conservative," and I was like, "Not me!" but now,...yeah, that's me. sigh.<br /> ETA that since I know a lot of older people who got divorced/ left careers/ changed sexual orientation during their midlife, I guess wanting to go move to a suburb isn't that radical! :wink: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/midish-life-personalityprioritiesgoal-changes-anyone#post-1762958 Wed, 16 Jul 2014 16:20:41 +0000 Aimed 1762958@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lizzywiz: I can also relate to becoming less idealistic as I have gotten older and I have become much more focused on my career and finances. I think just growing older, experiencing more of life and definitely having LO's made me focus on the present and our future more and what I want for us as a family in a very concrete way i.e. good schools, neighborhood, money and the opportunities that it affords. I say embrace it, life has it's seasons and maybe the idealistic part has changed into something else! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/midish-life-personalityprioritiesgoal-changes-anyone#post-1761595 Wed, 16 Jul 2014 08:37:05 +0000 lizzywiz 1761595@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm in my mid 30s, married and living in the same place 13 years, finally started my career in my chosen field 4 years ago and my LO is 2...I don't know if it is age or time of life, but I am feeling a real shift in my ideas/goals/ etc. Anyone else?</p> <p>I know part of it is just having brain space for it. I have been working full time + school or working full time + baby for the past 7 years. LO and job are both a little less consuming, now. Cue over-thinking!</p> <p>I am suddenly unhappy with our not great neighborhood. I have always felt you improve the community you live in rather than move communities, but now I feel less idealistic. I am actually considering moving out of the metro, which I never thought I would.<br /> I am also suddenly much more career/money oriented, in that I have decided there are some things I want the financial freedom to do and I am mapping out how to make that happen. I used to be very much anti doing things for the money. We lived without real furniture for years because we couldn't afford it and I could not have cared less!<br /> I am also becoming more of a peacenik. I was in the ARMY and generally support our soldiers and police officers, but I am definitely questioning use of force more than I used to. </p>