https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 28 May 2026 23:24:50 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mil-issues#post-2414241 Fri, 08 Jan 2016 16:34:19 +0000 Madison43 2414241@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@alphagam84: all stupid stuff, which is why he usually doesn't tell me. Lately it's all kid related - the most random was recently she told him to start putting my toddler in more dresses (but not tell me she asked him to) because she thinks I put her in jeans and leggings too much :shocked: Can't go down the slide in a princess dress grandma - relax yourself! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mil-issues#post-2414228 Fri, 08 Jan 2016 16:18:20 +0000 Autumnmama79 2414228@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@alphagam84: Ugh, you have a right to be annoyed! MIL does sound kinda wacky (I chuckled about the candle allergy)! Maybe all you can do is try not to let the texts and encouraging of DH to get to you - hard I know! And actively, you can keep her away from your LO as much as possible. Good call on the not letting her watch your LO :grin: </p> <p>Control what you can, let go of what you can't. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mil-issues#post-2414226 Fri, 08 Jan 2016 16:16:34 +0000 mrsbubbletea 2414226@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@alphagam84: my MIL might do something like that too. I don't really trust her with my son cause when I am there she really clearly displays how she doesn't respect my wishes and I could see her doing whatever she wants. Like she really always wants to give him juice. She gave him a tiny taste of Coke when my husband and I were right there literally saying don't give him that. He's 1!!!!! She has mentioned tons of times to my husband how she wants to cut his hair. I swear to god if she cuts his hair when I am not there...</p> <p>In terms of the text thing, I accidentally put myself in that situation recently. I read a text that my BIL sent my DH going on about how I am too controlling and just because I am the breadwinner doesn't mean I get to tell him what to do etc etc. this was provoked from a joke my dh made about me not letting him watch a certain show (his own brother doesn't get his humor by now????) I didn't want to say anything because it was super lame of me to read his text. But I felt better knowing that my husband responded in a way that didn't acknowledge the comment, like clearly it wasn't even worth disputing it. I know he doesn't feel that way and his brother has so many of his own problems, no point. </p> <p>Anyways I feel your pain! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mil-issues#post-2414212 Fri, 08 Jan 2016 16:05:53 +0000 alphagam84 2414212@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Madison43: I know she sends him some crazy texts that he doesn't tell me about as there's no point. I just feel if she would encourage DH to lie to me, what would she lie to us about while watching DD? Or that she'll just ignore our instructions about something and do her own thing. What types of stuff does your MIL want kept from you? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mil-issues#post-2414205 Fri, 08 Jan 2016 16:03:05 +0000 alphagam84 2414205@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Golden: The candle allergy thing is so crazy. My SIL keeps telling her son he doesn't have a candle allergy as she burns candles all the time at home and he never gets sick. He seriously believed it for about a year. We think he threw up because she never fed him the whole time they had him. And he was so uncomfortable over there (He's their step-grandchild from SIL's previous marriage) that he didn't even ask for food. I don't know how you would think you don't need to provide a 9 year old with lunch and snacks even if you aren't hungry. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mil-issues#post-2414176 Fri, 08 Jan 2016 15:39:31 +0000 winter_wonder 2414176@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>How long ago did she send the text? Do you think your DH was planning on telling you and hadn't had a chance?</p> <p>I think it's weird any time MILs say things like "you don't need to tell her." I definitely do see this as undermining your relationship.</p> <p>I would talk to your DH about this...let him know how upsetting this is to you.</p> <p>I'm sorry you're dealing with this. My mil also has issues with trying to undermine our relationship. It can be so stressful and draining. Sorry :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mil-issues#post-2414173 Fri, 08 Jan 2016 15:36:35 +0000 Madison43 2414173@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Golden: hahaha.</p> <p>My MIL does this shit all the time (do x, y and z but don't tell Madison). It's annoying but because DH never does what she's asks, it's really no harm, no foul and I am much happier not knowing about all the crazy messages she sends him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mil-issues#post-2414168 Fri, 08 Jan 2016 15:34:07 +0000 Adira 2414168@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wow, your MIL sounds like a nut, I'm sorry!!! But it sounds like your husband isn't going for what she says, which is great!</p> <p>Honestly, I'd mention it to you husband and talk to him about it. You don't have to say you were snooping, but can you say that you saw he got a text and read it and be all "It's crazy your mom is trying to give us formula/money and have you not tell me about it! What!?" Although I don't normally check my husband's phone, he wouldn't be annoyed if I did, and hopefully the same is true for you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mil-issues#post-2414167 Fri, 08 Jan 2016 15:33:06 +0000 Golden 2414167@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Fuck the bra. Fuck the wig. And candle allergy are my 2 favorite things on Hellobee today. ahem. In all seriousness stay out of this. Stop snooping on your husband's phone and in the words of Elsa, Let it Go. You wouldn't even know about this if you weren't doing something wrong. Your husband isn't taking her up on the offer so no harm no foul. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mil-issues#post-2414160 Fri, 08 Jan 2016 15:23:11 +0000 alphagam84 2414160@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So I feel really guilty about this but I looked at a text message my MIL sent DH on his phone. She is ridiculous and crazy about stuff and I was curious when I saw a text. I know, it wasn't the right thing to do.</p> <p>But I saw a text from her that made me so angry. For some reason DH told her about one of his coworkers wanting to give us their old formula since their child is too old for formula now and she was saying she wanted to go to Rite Aid and buy formula for our daughter and he could pick it up this weekend but to not tell me. He told her no we don't need help buying formula. She then went on to say if we ever need help she will give us money and he can just not tell me about it. Wtf. I don't know why she's obsessed with giving us formula/money, we aren't rich but we aren't struggling. But what really bothers me is that she wants to be sneaky about it and have DH lie and not tell me about accepting things from her. I think it completely undermines our marriage and is so disrespectful to our marriage to suggest her son lie to his wife. She doesn't seem to respect our relationship and it outranks her relationship with DH. </p> <p>I don't want someone who would willingly lie about stuff caring for my daughter. Due to previous experiences with her I've already said I didn't want her watching my daughter for awhile but this just adds to my concerns (she has given us wacky advice about taking care of our daughter and told our 10 year old nephew he has a candle allergy because he threw up at their house while they were babysitting and she had a candle burning so he now believes he has a candle allergy-I don't even think that's a thing. And she didn't even tell his parents he threw up, he told them later that night). And since I'm a terrible person and discovered this by snooping I can't exactly talk to DH about this but I am so ticked off. Ugh. Thanks for letting me vent. </p>