https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 11 Jul 2026 13:07:01 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/military-please-share#post-1938644 Tue, 11 Nov 2014 01:20:37 +0000 redeyedtreefr0g 1938644@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It sounds like everyone who has been there hated it.<br /> I guess I'll see how seriously he's considering this option and point out some of the cons.<br /> For now I'm just helping him be patient . </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/military-please-share#post-1938631 Tue, 11 Nov 2014 00:43:37 +0000 Sweet T 1938631@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <br /><p><i>This comment has been deleted by the original poster.</i></p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/military-please-share#post-1938629 Tue, 11 Nov 2014 00:37:30 +0000 Meow 1938629@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@redeyedtreefr0g: I am in the military. I'll try to address some of the pros you mentioned and some cons, all in no particular order.</p> <p>Pay: base pay is not great. What offsets the crappy-decent base pay (the crappy-decent range is based on rank and years of service) are the tax-free allowances we receive such as housing allowance. All our pay and allowances are public information and easily Google-able.</p> <p>Medical/vision/dental/pharmacy: $0 premiums and $150 deductible/year are hard to beat.</p> <p>Holidays: generally we do receive federal holidays off, but never a guarantee and I've also worked many, many more weekends than I've had holidays off.</p> <p>Leave: you do accrue 30 days in a year which is generally a bit more than the civilian sector. But there's also really no such thing as being able to pick up the phone and calling in sick for a cold and not showing up. </p> <p>Retirement: honestly not sure what civilian companies offer pensions anymore, if they even exist. Military still does.</p> <p>Housing: base housing may or may not be desirable depending on which base we are talking about... but as far as safety is concerned, I do agree that it pretty much can't get safer than base housing.</p> <p>Other tangible and intangible benefits: you can get your college or masters paid for, and this benefit can be passed on to your dependents.<br /> Also, military training, while tough, can be great tools for your career, leadership, life in general. I am a more confident and capable person today because of all the training the military provided for me. My outlook on life has never been more positive and appreciative because of all the hardships I endured during said training.<br /> People in the military do their jobs. We simply get the job done. It's a frustration I've had transitioning back to the civilian side and something I took for granted in the military until I saw how many emails I had to send to multiple people in my company just to get simple answers.<br /> The civilian sector of my particular career field places a huge premium on veterans, though this will vary for different career fields.<br /> On a similar note, military personnel and vets are often viewed as very reliable by landlords, banks, employers, etc.<br /> Sense of pride and honor in serving your country. Sounds corny and cliched but there's really no other way of describing it.<br /> Depending on which branch and career field, may get to travel to some very cool places.<br /> Speaking of cool, there are some really cool jobs in the military you will never get to do as a civilian, ever.<br /> Access to VA loans and other incredible programs only available to mil.<br /> Lastly - discounts. It seems petty but they add up!</p> <p>Cons... the commitment is a tremendous sacrifice. So much so that all the pros mentioned above will feel like not worth it at times. Many times. Aside from the fact that you are literally vowing to give up your life possibly, you lose all freedom over your life. This is true particularly during training but afterwards as well. You have to take orders (no matter what rank you are because there is always someone above you.) The rank structure is a BIG transition for those of us accustomed to civilian life. You need be accountable at all times, literally can't leave a certain radius of your duty station without filing leave paperwork. Constant mandatory training, events, everything. Very little freedom in how to dress, style your hair, how to speak, what you can and can't do on a daily basis. Forced assignments to possibly undesired locations every few years. Combat trauma, physical and/or mental. Can be very difficult for family life due to all the frequent moves, spouse/parent being gone for long stretches, etc. Remember I mentioned there are some really cool jobs in the military? There are some also incredibly crappy (for lack of a better word) jobs. Depends on which branch you join and job you choose/are assigned to.</p> <p>Death in line of duty is a very real possibility.</p> <p>Really though the freedom aspect of it is the biggest drawback that I can't stress enough. I never appreciated freedom because it was something I always had living in America. The times that it was completely taken away from me in training were the worst times of my life and that's when I saw how truly precious it really is.</p> <p>I'm sure there are more pros and cons but those are the few I can think of at the moment. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/military-please-share#post-1938625 Tue, 11 Nov 2014 00:11:39 +0000 StbHisMrs 1938625@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@dagret: That's a long line! I think it's a great career, he's even happier since he became an engineer a couple years ago!<br /> @ladybee: It really is a great career, the benefits are almost unbeatable, maybe longshoremen? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/military-please-share#post-1938623 Tue, 11 Nov 2014 00:07:45 +0000 StbHisMrs 1938623@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@redeyedtreefr0g: They don't advance quickly at all. My Husband has 10 years in and he's an E6. He makes less than half of what he brings in from his railroad job. This is with hazardous duty, separation, housing allowance, and all the other add-on's since he's deployed to a not so favorable place. When he's home and just doing the monthly thing, he gets just a couple hundred a month, not worth it. I have no idea what an active full timer makes. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/military-please-share#post-1938580 Mon, 10 Nov 2014 22:45:01 +0000 wonderstruck 1938580@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I worked retail for a longgggg time. I've seen people who numbers-wise get passed up for promotion time and time again, and it is almost ALWAYS for the same reason - their people skills, or lack thereof. There will be employees who are lazy. There will be employees who do not show what he considers to be the proper amount of respect. And if he has not shown that he can deal with the less than ideal employee in a positive manner, he will never ever get promoted to store manager. </p> <p>How you handle conflict is essential - he can have the greatest talks in the world with the district managers, but if when they ask around about him the current store managers aren't saying good things, he'll never get anywhere. And if he's complaining to you that he's so much smarter/better than them and they're just coasting along, he needs to 'maneuver' his store manager, he doesn't feel like he needs to listen to people who aren't his 'equal'...someone with that kind of attitude will never see them self become store manager. Every manager I ever had was a total people person who was great at dealing with difficult employees and improving morale. Numbers/store rankings are just one part of what makes a good manager. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/military-please-share#post-1938393 Mon, 10 Nov 2014 21:04:48 +0000 blackbird 1938393@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@redeyedtreefr0g: I meant your description of your husband, much like @Arden was getting at. I can see how you think college is useless if you gave up after you got your degree and do nothing. Not all degrees are like that, though. And they're a necessity in some fields. Perhaps not selling laundry machines, but you know what I mean</p> <p>You don't advance fast in the military. Not at all. It's not merit based. You put your time in and that's all it is. The military owns you-your schedule, your job, where you live, what activities you go to. They jump, you say how high. You get pretty minimal leeway as enlisted. And everyone else tells you what to do. So that's often frustrating for adult men to take. It was frustrating always having the army dictate our schedule. Oh and the 15 months my husband did overseas wasn't stellar, either </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/military-please-share#post-1938353 Mon, 10 Nov 2014 20:49:12 +0000 redeyedtreefr0g 1938353@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: Sorry for my bias. College was not for me, I've got a useless Bachelor's. I did believe it was the stepping stone to a career, so I was very disappointed at not being able to find a job out of college, and I eventually gave up trying. I've got a pretty piece of paper, though :P</p> <p>I'm not sure about the education of his bosses! I'll have to ask.</p> <p>@Dapple Grey: He is :) (edit to clarify: Grandad is a great source of wisdom.) They do have a really good relationship (which is good because we're living with Grandad right now). They just occasionally both happen to be touchy on the same day. It's rare, but happens every few months. If you add a 3rd participant to the project, everyone is much happier because the 2 diffuse the frustration of the 1 who looses it and just wants to set fire to the stupid vehicle they're working on instead of continue fixing it :P </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/military-please-share#post-1938328 Mon, 10 Nov 2014 20:29:29 +0000 Dapple Grey 1938328@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Mr. frog sounds awesome and amazing, I think the military would be a great fit :grin: </p> <p>He should have a talk with grandad, as frustrating as he is, he would probably be a great source of wisdom for Mr.Frog. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/military-please-share#post-1938324 Mon, 10 Nov 2014 20:27:45 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 1938324@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@redeyedtreefr0g: does his immediate supervisor have a degree, associate's or higher? What about the next level? And the one after? Experience in some industries/ in some jobs is just as good as a degree. In others, you need one to enter or advance. However, if earned his degree, but did not advance I am sure both you and him would not be pleased. I would suggest he find out if the degree is the roadblock to his advancement at this company and if it will be one once the companies complete the merger. </p> <p>College is not for everyone, but to dismiss it's usefulness as just a "piece of paper" seriously undermines the value of a college education and experience. College isn't just about what comes after (job/ grad school) it's about what you learned &amp; accomplished during. </p> <p>You mentioned your husband has a desire to be a chef. Cullinary institute tuition can be steep, but the training is phenomenal. Students find jobs in fancy hotel kitchens and high end chains. I once hired a caterer who was a recent cullinary grad, she had a small restaurant and catering was an additional revenue stream. She was her own boss within a year of graduating! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/military-please-share#post-1938289 Mon, 10 Nov 2014 20:08:58 +0000 redeyedtreefr0g 1938289@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Arden: That is completely understandable, especially from an outsider-viewpoint (and one-sided based on only my viewpoint.)</p> <p>I try to be really cautious in what I say here because I got flamed for referring to my younger sister. (I have no such qualms or cares about calling her ex-husband as dumb as a bag or rocks, however, as you can see :P)</p> <p>I would say in regards to his flaws- he is impatient. He is arrogant, but at the same time I feel that's not really a flaw since he's pretty much earned it. The flaw in that arrogance then would be that he doesn't have the patience sometimes to listen to someone who he feels is not his equal in a certain field. This does tend to be the world at large because unfortunately, we've got a lot of dumb or lazy people. He doesn't tolerate laziness well.</p> <p>I see that trait a lot when he deals with his grandfather. Let's face it, Grandad is old, but he DOES have tons of experience. A lot of the time though, he is slow, he can't recall where one special tool is, or he takes forever to explain a procedure. Most of the time hubby does really well dealing with it, but other times, I can see that he's itching to just have Grandad just hush up for a second and let hubby DO it. Grandad does tend to ramble a LOT. Grandad also has his own flaws dealing and working with people, but it's an example.</p> <p>Mr. Frog also has ADD. He thinks so fast he can do about a million things at one time, and he's pretty good at all of them. But he can forget in the middle of a project where he's laid such-and-such tool. He loses things often because he's thinking about something else as he sets it down :P He doesn't have the ability to sit still and work on tedious detail-work for long periods of time. Unless he's got distractions.</p> <p>He's got STRONG emotions, but he's very rational at the same time. It's an odd combination, to be sure. He's quick to anger, but just as quick to get completely over it, and then he's done. He shows this more to me and folks he trusts because you should be able to vent and be yourself around those you love. He's good about keeping an even keel with coworkers and customers.</p> <p>I honestly don't know anyone who doesn't like my husband unless they feel threatened by him. This has occurred with a few of our Warcraft couple-friends where the husband took a dislike to Mr. Frog despite knowing that he was absolutely devoted to me. I know when he stepped up to the Assistant Manager position there was some conflict when he took charge, but according to him even the ones who gave him the most trouble came around started making the changes he suggested- they are now some of the top-ranking in sales and such, and seem to be the ones he enjoys working with the best. </p> <p>* * *</p> <p>Anyway, I let the topic become derailed in a big way, and contributed because I like to talk! Oops.</p> <p>I'd like more input about being in the military, please!<br /> If the pay sucks at low-rank, how fast can you advance?<br /> What is your definition of "sucks"?<br /> I think I found a chart that said E1 (the lowest I think?) makes $1500, I'm assuming a month. Does that sound about right? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/military-please-share#post-1938288 Mon, 10 Nov 2014 20:08:54 +0000 ladybee 1938288@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@dagret: off topic but we are a railroad family here. My dad is retiring from Norfolk Southern in April and it's always been a great career. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/military-please-share#post-1938272 Mon, 10 Nov 2014 19:57:04 +0000 Purpledaisy 1938272@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@redeyedtreefr0g: Reading through your comments and I honestly do not know if the military would be right for your husband. It sounds like he does not want to start from the bottom and that is exactly what he would be doing. </p> <p>The reality is, that a lot of times, people without a degree can only move so far up. There are always exceptions, but that is the reality of it. I am in the same boat. I am to the point where and am unsatisfied with my job opportunities. Therefore I am back in school. It sucks but having a degree opens up doors.</p> <p>Maybe he can look into either going back and getting a degree or doing some kind of trade school? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/military-please-share#post-1938250 Mon, 10 Nov 2014 19:36:36 +0000 Arden 1938250@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@redeyedtreefr0g: my reply accidentally submitted before I could finish it, but I edited it above.<br /> I just mean that everything you say about him is extremely positive (in other threads as well) to the point that it sounds a little inflated. I'm not saying you are making anything up, but perhaps your view might be skewed to only notice strengths and ignore weaknesses.</p> <p>That is a fantastic quality in a wife and a human being (focusing on the good), but perhaps not the best for someone trying to help with a job hunt or other real world issues. You may need an outside view to give you a realistic picture of the world and the potential opportunities. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/military-please-share#post-1938244 Mon, 10 Nov 2014 19:31:05 +0000 redeyedtreefr0g 1938244@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Arden: I don't think it is forward at all. </p> <p>There are things my husband can't do- he's not very creative at all, and he has a habit of leaving a mess everywhere he goes :P </p> <p>It's just that I've learned after 12 years with him that if he says he can do something, like run a store better than his boss is doing currently, well, darnit I believe him!</p> <p>You editted about the job counselor. Is that a 3rd party thing, or would it be part of HR within the company, most likely? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/military-please-share#post-1938238 Mon, 10 Nov 2014 19:26:57 +0000 redeyedtreefr0g 1938238@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Blackbird: I stay home all day now :P </p> <p>Mr. Frog's store is now 14th I think in the whole company, which is a giant step up from where they were, so they are capable. It's just that he wants his own store where he can run things.</p> <p>Or did you mean my description of hubby's abilities? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/military-please-share#post-1938232 Mon, 10 Nov 2014 19:21:29 +0000 Arden 1938232@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@redeyedtreefr0g: Forgive me for being forward, but reading through your posts makes me concerned. You seem to have a very high view of your husband and everyone around you. I'm wondering if your view from where you sit might be a little unrealistic?</p> <p>Maybe your husband should see a job counselor who can evaluate his strengths and abilities without bias and make a recommendation based on that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/military-please-share#post-1938214 Mon, 10 Nov 2014 19:04:12 +0000 blackbird 1938214@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@redeyedtreefr0g: well a degree isn't a waste if it helps you advance. It's the world we live in. And like I said before, the military will pay for it. But it comes with a major commitment </p> <p>I can't help but get the impression that everyone around you is somehow incapable and that may be giving an inflated view of reality. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/military-please-share#post-1938088 Mon, 10 Nov 2014 17:14:26 +0000 redeyedtreefr0g 1938088@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@cmomma17: It's a combination of not being able to advance and what he feels is crap pay for what he IS doing. </p> <p>The companies are merging right now, which put his advancement on an indeterminate pause, combined with him having to deal with being a brand ambassador for the other store to minimize customer loyalty losses when that other brand closes down.</p> <p>He has improved all of the stores he's worked at, and the statistics of so many employees (and he consistently leads statistics himself), but there isn't anything he can really do to improve the work ethic of people above him who aren't doing their jobs but just cruising along. He's learned how to maneuver his store manager a little bit to make some good changes without it feeling like Mr.Frog is usurping.</p> <p>He's come home several times hopeful about his interactions (ALL positive) with higher-ups like district managers and such... but nothing is really happening. Now we're entering holiday season where I'm pretty sure Christmas fever will be stalling things further. </p> <p>Mr. Frog does extremely well in chaos though, so maybe the business will help distract him.<br /> I keep trying to help him be patient, but it's super hard for a go-getter like him. He gives 110%, 100% of the time.</p> <p>As far as the degree thing goes- yeah he'll probably have to waste money and get one. Experience counts for nothing in this world while a piece of paper does. </p> <p>A degree is no guarantee of a job.</p> <p>My reasoning for inquiring about the military thing is because he's been speaking to our cousin pretty extensively... and it's still on his mind, it hasn't been rejected yet. If there were reasons to toss the idea, it would be over and done with already. So I'm trying to learn both the good things AND the bad from other people who have experienced it.</p> <p>I'm thinking separation would be hardest on Mr. Frog.</p> <p>My sister was worried that Mr.Frog wouldn't handle getting yelled at by a senior rank. She says you can't go past your immediate supervisor if they are an idiot, you are stuck.<br /> Her ex-husband was just a truck driver though, and even that he could not do by himself- he would fall asleep behind the wheel. He didn't even have a CDL.</p> <p>Our cousin is smarter, I think he is an intelligence analyst? I know he did radar for a while. He had to go on leave for a while because he accidentally got shot in the butt when someone dropped their rifle doing live-round drills outside cousin's radar tent :P </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/military-please-share#post-1938055 Mon, 10 Nov 2014 16:42:40 +0000 cmomma17 1938055@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@redeyedtreefr0g: is he only unhappy in retail because he feels like the company won't move him up? Has he had a discussion with his manager, or further up to a regional manager perhaps about WHY he hasn't been promoted and what specifically he needs to do to get there? Or, has he considered moving to a different company that might value his experience more? Retail has such high turnover I bet there are manager positions he could apply for elsewhere. Maybe a fresh start at a new company would be good for him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/military-please-share#post-1937876 Mon, 10 Nov 2014 15:05:05 +0000 blackbird 1937876@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@redeyedtreefr0g: If your husband isn't willing to "step down" into the restaurant business, I advise he stay really far away from joining the military. He doesn't sound like he would take orders from a 25 year old LT very well. And you start out at the bottom of the barrel. So....being a private is probably not what he's got in mind. And i agree, that 1 weekend/month, 2 weekends/year is hard on a family. DH had to leave for his training when E was 10 weeks old. It just is what it is. </p> <p>Sounds like your husband should get another job or think about adding a college education to his resume so he can move up. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/military-please-share#post-1937866 Mon, 10 Nov 2014 15:01:18 +0000 LuLu Mom 1937866@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@redeyedtreefr0g: I think if he wants to climb up a corporate ladder education is a must, any form of degree is better than non. A teacher can say "he should be teaching not attending" but that's not what an employer will say. they will see a guy with a degree vs a guy who doesn't have, one will always win out over the other. Most HRs wont' even look at an employee for a management job without some sort of business/management degree. Just the way the world works. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/military-please-share#post-1937857 Mon, 10 Nov 2014 14:57:02 +0000 dagret 1937857@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@StbHisMrs: another vote for the railroad here. My dad is a railroader, so was my grandpa, HIS FIL, HIS FIL, something like 5-6 generations back. It's a demanding job time-wise, but the pay is really good. And in the area I live in the railroad can't fill their positions b/c people don't want to pass the drug test, show up on time to their interviews, or deal with the changing schedule.</p> <p> I have literally never heard anyone in the military tout the pay as a plus. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/military-please-share#post-1937845 Mon, 10 Nov 2014 14:53:04 +0000 redeyedtreefr0g 1937845@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LuLu Mom: No, but he did take some classes at a community college while we lived in Oregon. The business lady told me when I got went to meet him for lunch pretty early in the semester that he should be teaching, not attending! She could not believe it was the first (business) class he'd ever taken before.</p> <p>He'd also love to cook in a restaurant, but he's not willing to step down to below-crap pay to work his way up through that kind of ladder again, plus that really is an unstable industry- restaurants come and go SO fast around here unless thay are nationwide chains. So far he's thinking he'll wait on that dream for when he's retired from a real career. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/military-please-share#post-1937838 Mon, 10 Nov 2014 14:49:02 +0000 StbHisMrs 1937838@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <br /><p><i>This comment has been deleted by the original poster.</i></p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/military-please-share#post-1937773 Mon, 10 Nov 2014 14:26:46 +0000 LuLu Mom 1937773@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@redeyedtreefr0g: Does your husband have a college degree? If not, maybe he should look into a non-traditional program where he can get a degree online or at night and that might help him move up or find another job that will appreciate his assets as well as show the initiative to further his education. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/military-please-share#post-1937742 Mon, 10 Nov 2014 14:18:24 +0000 redeyedtreefr0g 1937742@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@blackbird: Yes, thinking of joining. Or maybe just doing reserves, and telling his current company that since they aren't keen on advancing him, they'll have to work around the reservist schedule or whatever.<br /> He's so stressed out right now that I just catch the snippets I can get and don't badger him too much for details. He's extremely smart and his brain works a million miles a minute so what he's thinking today can totally change with new information in an instant. I don't bug him :P</p> <p>I don't think he's too terribly serious about considering it right now, but if he were to tell me tomorrow that he's fed up and wants to try it, I'd be ALL on board for some kind of change. It hurts me to see him so frustrated. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/military-please-share#post-1936971 Sun, 09 Nov 2014 20:40:48 +0000 Purpledaisy 1936971@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My ex-husband was in the military when we were together and it definitely comes with a lot of stress. The pay is not very good. The hours suck. It's a whole lifestyle change. You lose a lot of control that you have in your life. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/military-please-share#post-1936970 Sun, 09 Nov 2014 20:40:05 +0000 Mrs. Pickle 1936970@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wouldn't do it for the pay. Enlisted barely make over minimum wage. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/military-please-share#post-1936879 Sun, 09 Nov 2014 19:09:59 +0000 loveisstrange 1936879@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Husband was in the Air Force for 5 years, special forces. We also lived overseas. Honestly? Im glad we're done.</p> <p>Pay sucks. Hours suck. Family life sucks. Work-life balance sucks. Being a spouse sucks. The "culture" sucks. Yeah, we got some neat perks like getting to live in England for 3 years.... but overall.... so glad it's not our life anymore. We're all so much happier, our marriage is better, and there's a lot less stress overall. </p>