https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 28 Apr 2026 21:22:43 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/miscarriage-fears/page/2#post-1619374 Wed, 07 May 2014 13:38:57 +0000 chibee 1619374@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@CatchAFallingStar: well, i actually did end up miscarrying that particular pregnancy. I was diagnosed with a blighted ovum at my 8 week ultrasound and had a D&amp;C that same week. However, I got pregnant only 2 months later and I am 25 weeks along! The fear really never goes away - i had no real reason to have this miscarriage fear the first time i got pregnant but i think it's just normal. it's just something so precious and you are afraid it will be taken away from you - with this pregnancy i had the fear also, but you just have to not let it control you somehow. Easier said that done probably, but it's just easier to accept that if an early miscarriage is going to happen, there's really nothing you can do about it, you just have to hope and pray for the best! maybe some call that morbid, but honestly it was a little freeing to think about it that way. congrats and try to just enjoy the feeling instead of worrying! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/miscarriage-fears/page/2#post-1617986 Wed, 07 May 2014 00:29:15 +0000 CatchAFallingStar 1617986@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@chibee: I'm going through this feeling right now. I'm only 4 weeks along and I'm terrified! How did you end up finding your sanity and not worrying as much? Or, did you at all? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/miscarriage-fears/page/2#post-1041483 Sat, 24 Aug 2013 12:56:53 +0000 LovelyPlum 1041483@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@HazelEyes: thank you so much, friend. That means a lot. I'm realizing how much counseling has helped in the past, and how much I need it now. This stuff is hard, and it is way too much for me to do on my own. Thank you for the love and support. We can totally do this :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/miscarriage-fears/page/2#post-1041425 Sat, 24 Aug 2013 12:10:25 +0000 HazelEyes 1041425@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LovelyPlum: I have really been thinking about you for a few days, and not sure how I wanted to respond, so I'm just going to say that I think you are so brave for admitting this (and I'm crying again, stupid hormones) and I truly hope that you can work toward finding some peace. Counseling is hard work (I'm a counselor) but one of the hardest things is to decide that you are ready to work on getting to a better place. This is probably one of the best things that you could do for your little Bean to come, so all my love and hugs and thoughts are with you. You can do it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/miscarriage-fears/page/2#post-1040020 Fri, 23 Aug 2013 13:34:57 +0000 LovelyPlum 1040020@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Torchwood: I love it, and I think it is a great idea! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/miscarriage-fears/page/2#post-1036920 Thu, 22 Aug 2013 14:44:55 +0000 Mae 1036920@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Totally totally feel you chibee! I just found out 2 days ago (at 10dpo) and I'm sort of kicking myself for testing so early. More days to know/stress. I swear the last 2 days have been the longest of my life! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/miscarriage-fears#post-1036809 Thu, 22 Aug 2013 14:19:59 +0000 Cherrybee 1036809@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@chibee: Oh blimey, yes! Every day felt like a week! Especially in the beginning, when you are so worried. You wake up and the first thibg you think is "Im 5+3 today".... it does get easier but the worry never goes away. Even now she's here I worry about SIDS etc. It is much easier being home and every day Im growing in confidence.... postpartum anxiety hit me hard but Im well on the mend now! So have you told anyone yet? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/miscarriage-fears#post-1036190 Thu, 22 Aug 2013 11:22:24 +0000 chibee 1036190@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: do you feel like it got easier since she's been home or harder? I'm sure you are doing an amazing job, I still can't believe you have a real live baby! We've come a long way, haven't we? I am 6w 4d now, going by O date. It seems like time is crawling, was it like this for you in the beginning too? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/miscarriage-fears#post-1036164 Thu, 22 Aug 2013 11:11:41 +0000 Cherrybee 1036164@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@chibee: I'm good thanks. Having a baby is really, really hard work (which I expected but... yeah...) but it really is worth it (most of the time!). I'm glad you are well. How far along are you now? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/miscarriage-fears#post-1036159 Thu, 22 Aug 2013 11:09:42 +0000 tequiero21 1036159@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I actually wasn't nervous about pregnancy until my miscarriage....once I had one, I was definitely terrified it would happen again. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/miscarriage-fears#post-1036157 Thu, 22 Aug 2013 11:09:21 +0000 sweetkeight 1036157@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Torchwood: I love it. I think it's beautiful and I love the white instead of black. *hug* for your wait for the blood draw. It's wwaaayyy over anyone's head how to deal with that truly... just gotta hang in there *HUG* </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/miscarriage-fears#post-1036153 Thu, 22 Aug 2013 11:08:10 +0000 sweetkeight 1036153@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LovelyPlum: I'm so glad you mentioned help. DH thought I was a little on the weird side when I told him I wanted to go to therapy to deal with the pregnancy-after-miscarriages thing. I'm soooo glad I didn't listen to him, but instead went with my gut! My therapist has been so supportive and it's great to have someone to just cry to. DH is so sweet and really can't handle it when I cry (let's not go into how I'm going to get him through labor crying - haha) So, it's nice to have someone who can hear me cry about it and respond with strength and compassion. I've only had a few sessions and I already feel miles better. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/miscarriage-fears#post-1036146 Thu, 22 Aug 2013 11:04:42 +0000 Torchwood 1036146@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SupernovaJ: I am so with you on the "this was too easy" so it must be too good to be true. Especially since it took us even less effort last time, and it didn't end well. I agree too that an u/s that early would not be good. I'm glad my doctor didn't offer it, because I'm not sure I would have turned it down and I'd have done exactly what you did and gotten worried if I didn't see anything, even though I was exactly 4 weeks on the day I had my appointment.</p> <p>I'm almost regretting the 48 hour blood draw too. I know it will help me feel a lot better when I get the results (or not, but we're not focusing on that!), but it's really making me more stressed now. Knowing that tomorrow (or gods forbid, monday if the results are late) I may find out that something is wrong is making me more upset. Also, last time my m/c wasn't until 9.5 weeks, so getting through this and even seeing the heartbeat won't really mean much to me, since I saw the heartbeat last time.</p> <p>So all that to say, here's what I'm going to do to help get through the fears. Right now I'm basically operating on the assumption that it will be fine. I'm pinning nursery ideas and discussing baby names and all that. But I need to do more than that. One of the blogger bees (I'm afraid I don't know which one without digging through to figure it out) did a post about her fears that their adoption won't go through. She said that when she got really worried, she'd go work on something for him. It may have been a quilt? It was her way of saying that she had faith that everything was going to be fine. I really loved the idea, so I'm going to start an afghan for the baby. I'll admit, I'm not confident enough to say it's for *this* baby. But I do believe that we WILL have a baby, sooner than later, and this will be my way of staying positive about it.</p> <p>I'm thinking something like this, but with white instead of black, and just standard rainbow colors (not so much blue). I already have all the yarn except green and purple, so it won't even be an expensive one to start. What do ya'll think? </p> [attach=3674/13/mrxwoy.448x600.4a8d9b11dffbca42bbd62348bcde8dfc.jpg] https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/miscarriage-fears#post-1035783 Thu, 22 Aug 2013 08:57:51 +0000 PixieStix 1035783@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm on my first pregnancy as well and I have a lot of the same thoughts and worries. Mostly I just try to stay positive, but I wonder the *exact* same thing, especially about next appointment fears as you described. When I saw your post it made me feel better that I'm not alone in these thoughts, so I hope you can feel a little relief about it too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/miscarriage-fears#post-1035754 Thu, 22 Aug 2013 08:45:51 +0000 chibee 1035754@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrsjyw: i think that's it too, i'm around a lot of people that have trouble maintaining a pregnancy so it just seems the norm to me? Like why should i be so lucky to be able to carry this pregnancy to term?</p> <p>@Cherrybee: I'm good! super tired, but other than that, really nothing of note! How are you doing?? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/miscarriage-fears#post-1033447 Wed, 21 Aug 2013 09:51:01 +0000 LazyLightning 1033447@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think I truly stopped worrying until viability, in the 20s. But you'll feel a lot better once you get to 12 weeks, I bet. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/miscarriage-fears#post-1033434 Wed, 21 Aug 2013 09:47:25 +0000 LovelyPlum 1033434@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was a total wreck last night about this. I think I came to the conclusion that the last few months were far more traumatic than I have wanted to admit, and I am not dealing well with it. I believe that I am pregnant, but last night I realized that I don't think that I believe that means that I will have a baby :( I think it is time for me to get some help, because the constant waiting for the bad news to come is not good for me or for baby.</p> <p>@sweetkeight: I love this. Hugs, chica. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/miscarriage-fears#post-1033318 Wed, 21 Aug 2013 09:21:53 +0000 Cherrybee 1033318@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@chibee: Just checking in - how are you? How are you feeling? xx </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/miscarriage-fears#post-1033300 Wed, 21 Aug 2013 09:15:35 +0000 mrsjyw 1033300@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it's completely normal. With DS, I had two very close friends who suffered multiple miscarriages at the time we conceived and I couldn't help but fear the worst because it seemed to be so "common" around/near me and that I couldn't be the lucky one. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/miscarriage-fears#post-1033274 Wed, 21 Aug 2013 09:07:08 +0000 sweetkeight 1033274@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@chibee and everyone: thank you so much for your posts. I've gotten super irrational over the past couple of days and this thread is really helping me (I just barely figured out how the whole April 2014 board works with the different threads and such *snort*)</p> <p>I love the 'today I am pregnant' and surrendering beyond that. Sometimes, I think my fear is about trying to control the situation. When I realize that I truly have no control, I can relax a little into "Today is what I have, I'm going to be grateful." It's cheesy, too, but I keep hearing Shelby's (Steel Magnolias) little quote "I'd rather have a moment of truly wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special." And I think about the good moments I've had since I got the positive. There've been some wonderful, truly wonderful moments with DH, my sister, and my best friend - tears and laughter and all - that we would not have had otherwise. If tomorrow brings something else, I have today and the memory of those moments. Anxiety can wait til tomorrow while I revel in those moments today. *deep breath* </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/miscarriage-fears#post-1014682 Tue, 13 Aug 2013 21:07:35 +0000 LovelyPlum 1014682@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SupernovaJ: fake it till you make it?? ;) Seriously, though, thank you. I still have huge worries, but I've got some optimism that has come out of nowhere this time...I'm scared out of my mind, but I'm trying to go with it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/miscarriage-fears#post-1013385 Tue, 13 Aug 2013 12:44:40 +0000 SupernovaJ 1013385@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LovelyPlum: you are so positive. Love it :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/miscarriage-fears#post-1013373 Tue, 13 Aug 2013 12:42:07 +0000 LovelyPlum 1013373@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am here, too! I have no idea how I would handle a third loss. And you would think that the u/s would have allayed my fears, but it was so hard to think, now we have seen this little bean, and we still might lose it. Yeah. </p> <p>I just keep reminding myself that every day with this baby is a gift, and I want to appreciate it as much as possible! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/miscarriage-fears#post-1013202 Tue, 13 Aug 2013 11:59:02 +0000 T.H.O.U. 1013202@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SupernovaJ: I gotya. I kinda have the same fear that even if we see something on our first u/s, we still have a good 6 weeks before we are out of the first trimester and in a better place. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/miscarriage-fears#post-1010373 Mon, 12 Aug 2013 12:16:12 +0000 SupernovaJ 1010373@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@T.H.O.U.: i felt the u/s was a little pre-mature. of course if there are pre-existing concerns or high-risk, it's reassuring to rule out an ectopic pregnancy, but at 4 weeks and a few days, i wasn't able to see anything on the ultrasound which actually made me worry for no reason (saw it today on a follow up appointment). i'm an "ignorance is bliss" kind of person, at least in the beginning. i had read online that some people were able to see the sac at 4 weeks, so i began questioning why i couldn't. my gyno then started using language like "well let's make sure you're pregnant first, and if you are, that it's in the right place". it planted that seed of doubt - things i would have preferred not to think about until later. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/miscarriage-fears#post-1010215 Mon, 12 Aug 2013 11:35:01 +0000 HazelEyes 1010215@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@chibee: Oh my, yes, definitely! I haven't read the other posts yet, but absolutely I feel like that! You nailed the feeling that I'm going to the Dr and they are going to say, no no, silly girl you are not pregnant, or that something has happened. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/miscarriage-fears#post-1009853 Mon, 12 Aug 2013 10:04:58 +0000 T.H.O.U. 1009853@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SupernovaJ: Why were you upset about the u/s? I had one done early before to check to make sure it wasn't ectopic. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/miscarriage-fears#post-1009824 Mon, 12 Aug 2013 09:56:44 +0000 SupernovaJ 1009824@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i'm in the same boat as you. we were lucky in that we got pregnant right away, but because of this, i keep thinking that things are "too good to be true". aside from some fatigue and other minor symptoms, i don't really feel pregnant either as it's so early on. </p> <p>last week i got my blood drawn to confirm pregnancy and they performed a trans-vaginal ultrasound (which i was really not happy about). i was between 4 - 5 weeks pregnant and they couldn't detect anything in my uterus. i know that it's really early on to see anything (some do, some don't at ~5 weeks), but this made my worry worse. i was actually disappointed with the clinic and wished they had only drawn blood. good thing is, they did confirm pregnancy and i am having my second draw today to see how my levels are progressing.</p> <p>after my check up, i talked to my mom about my fears and she told me that worrying wouldn't do me any good at all and to just think positive thoughts. since then i've tried my best to avoid certain pregnancy boards / topics, etc. but it's easy to get consumed with the fear so i completely understand. just get lots of rest, some moderate exercise / walking, eat healthy and try your best to stay away from those m/c boards. hoping for a happy and healthy 9+ months for you!! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/miscarriage-fears#post-1009814 Mon, 12 Aug 2013 09:53:54 +0000 megz06 1009814@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@chibee: You and I can be worried together since you are my due date twin :-)</p> <p>I worry about it every time. Yesterday I had the tinest, little speck of blood when I wiped (and nothing since. I panicked. This morning I had nausea and some upper belly cramping, and I panicked.</p> <p>My mom has a history of miscarriages (but that was because of endo), and it has just always scared me. I guess the only thing keeping me going is the fact that I am already showing and my boobs hurt. Otherwise, I wouldn't believe I was pregnant. Very anxious for my appointment at the end of the month and so blessed I work at a clinic. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/miscarriage-fears#post-1009522 Mon, 12 Aug 2013 08:37:21 +0000 2PeasinaPod 1009522@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@chibee: As someone who had 2 miscarriages and took 8 months to get the very first BFP, I totally understand. Unfortunately, the fear doesn't go away until you have that LO in your arms. Lots of hugs and prayers that you have a healthy and happy 9 months! </p>