https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 14 Apr 2026 02:01:20 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/miscommunication-with-babysitter#post-2743302 Fri, 02 Jun 2017 17:37:33 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2743302@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Overall I think she should have been more clear because to me starting at the end of May could be maybe May 27th for example.. I feel like she should have said "I'm available to babysit until the end of the month" or "..until May 31/June 1/ etc." </p> <p>However I also wouldn't assume her lack of an offer in one week meant any change in plan. One week isn't long when job hunting and there might be multiple interviews, etc. "For financial reasons" doesn't necessarily mean they are desperate for money. Maybe they have plans that involve her working consistently such as applying for a mortgage or maybe she actually has previous experience and will make decent money even just starting out, or maybe she just wants more consistent money than babysitting or even just a little more and doesn't want to be stuck with the babysitting obligation when she is looking for another job. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/miscommunication-with-babysitter#post-2743297 Fri, 02 Jun 2017 17:25:04 +0000 mrskansas 2743297@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Finfan: yes of course she was paid </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/miscommunication-with-babysitter#post-2743287 Fri, 02 Jun 2017 17:08:32 +0000 Finfan 2743287@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm just curious--were you actually paying her? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/miscommunication-with-babysitter#post-2743262 Fri, 02 Jun 2017 15:53:18 +0000 BSB 2743262@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I sorta agree with @gingerbebe: I wonder if she had the end of May as her deadline. Maybe she was a bit eager in being able to watch only her kid at that time until she got a job. Maybe instead of changing the date and making you be in limbo, she put that date in stone.</p> <p>I do think she and you could have communicated better. Ugh, job hunting is tough, though. Also, maybe there were other personal issues at hand. I would chalk it up to both of you had different kinds of stress and communication fell by the wayside. It happens. </p> <p>If you really did appreciate her watching your LOs, I would break this tension by giving her a goodbye and good luck gift. If you don't, don't. It's probably gonna be awkward if you see her in the future, though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/miscommunication-with-babysitter#post-2743154 Fri, 02 Jun 2017 12:14:21 +0000 mrs.kiwi 2743154@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Uh yea that sounds vague to me.. I'd be annoyed and think she is very unprofessional but i would blame myself for not following up and assuming things.</p> <p>Especially since you have a relationship with her and talk to her every day yes I'd feel a little hurt/bewildered!</p> <p>I don't think you're being dramatic at all! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/miscommunication-with-babysitter#post-2743119 Fri, 02 Jun 2017 11:29:30 +0000 MrsSCB 2743119@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Whenever I've left jobs, it's always been my responsibility to state a specific end date...I don't really feel like childcare should be any different. That sounds really vague. If someone said they were interviewing for jobs to start at the end of May but never followed up with an official end date or said they found a job, I would have figured they just wanted to keep working until they found a position. If she planned to stop working at the end of May no matter what, she should have just said, "I won't be able to babysit after May. May 31 will be my last day," not some halfhearted, "Oh, I'm interviewing for jobs that would start after May." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/miscommunication-with-babysitter#post-2743116 Fri, 02 Jun 2017 11:23:53 +0000 gingerbebe 2743116@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It sounds like she was really just over babysitting and it wasn't worth the money to her anymore just to have a child over for 2 hours a day. People in that situation always start to feel like they're doing YOU a favor by staying on. So I think she was being passive aggressive and squirrelly about it and trying to find some legit sounding excuse to quit. I agree you have a right to feel annoyed about the situation, but I'd just wash your hands and be done with it - I wouldn't want to associate/deal with someone like that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/miscommunication-with-babysitter#post-2743042 Fri, 02 Jun 2017 09:47:04 +0000 Maysprout 2743042@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrskansas: I agree it does seem odd to not bring it up again and def not the best way to handle it. I feel like I've had stuff like this happen a few times where I've realized I just have to be a bit more blunt and direct so I'm clear on he situation, even if socially it seems like they're the ones who should be bringing it up so you don't feel like you're prying. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/miscommunication-with-babysitter#post-2743036 Fri, 02 Jun 2017 09:34:20 +0000 mrskansas 2743036@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think part of the reason why I feel upset about this is because we usually talk for a while every day. We chat about work, husbands, kids, life in general, etc. so I felt like she should have told me her plans. I was really surprised she was taking the summer off to spend with her kids when she stressed the fact that they needed her to work ASAP for the money.<br /> I kinda feel like she lied to me? I know her plans are none of my business but with the relationship we had I do feel a little hurt by that.</p> <p>I also think I'm emotional from some other stress in my life so I'm sure you all think I am really dramatic! I swear I'm usually not :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/miscommunication-with-babysitter#post-2743032 Fri, 02 Jun 2017 09:24:40 +0000 mrskansas 2743032@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: I do think this is partly my fault for not asking more questions about an exact date. I should have led the conversation vs waiting for her to bring it up.</p> <p>She had said that she had to go back to work for financial reasons, and so I again wrongly assumed she would continue to need the income from watching my daughter until she started a position. </p> <p>I'm not necessarily blaming her for anything, I just think she could have handled it better. If the roles were reversed, I would have said "May 31 is going to be my last day. How is the search for a new sitter coming along?". Or said, "I haven't been able to find a job yet, but I am going to take the summer off to spend with my boys and then start the search in the fall. May 31 will be my last day."</p> <p>I definitely see where you all are coming from... she did give me a time frame and I should have just went by that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/miscommunication-with-babysitter#post-2743028 Fri, 02 Jun 2017 09:21:26 +0000 littlejoy 2743028@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>1) I think it's important to remember intention/attitude is often lost in text/email translation. 2) This should have been on you guys to navigate. She told you that she was leaving and never told you any differently. I would have checked in a couple times to confirm dates, etc. I've done things like this, and it sucks. </p> <p>What's done is done. I feel for you - having to find quality childcare is tricky. I'm glad it sounds like you have some flexibility!! Good luck! </p> <p>Oh and, If I really liked her care, I might send her a gift or flowers as a thank you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/miscommunication-with-babysitter#post-2743025 Fri, 02 Jun 2017 09:19:11 +0000 mrskansas 2743025@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@erinbaderin: Yep, all she said was that she was looking for a job to start around the end of May. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/miscommunication-with-babysitter#post-2743023 Fri, 02 Jun 2017 09:17:43 +0000 looch 2743023@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrskansas: I think she did though, she said she was looking at jobs to begin the end of May. It sounds like you guys took the fact that she hadn't found anything a week later as the reason to call off the search for a replacement, I can see why you might have done this, but also I can see her thinking that she gave you the date and was just giving an update on not having an offer a week later. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/miscommunication-with-babysitter#post-2743019 Fri, 02 Jun 2017 09:12:15 +0000 erinbaderin 2743019@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrskansas: That's an interesting point that I think I missed the first time through - I might change my answer depending on her wording. I initially thought that she'd told you that she would be done at the end of May (and therefore the fact that she never mentioned it again wasn't a big deal, because she'd told you) but if she just said she was going back to work and hoping to start around the end of May I do think it was a lot more up in the air and she should have followed up with a firm end date. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/miscommunication-with-babysitter#post-2742996 Fri, 02 Jun 2017 08:33:40 +0000 mrskansas 2742996@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I definitely don't think she "owes" me anything at this point. I was just upset that she never gave me an actual date or said anything about it after the initial conversation. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/miscommunication-with-babysitter#post-2742993 Fri, 02 Jun 2017 08:22:51 +0000 looch 2742993@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You have the right to feel however you want, but that doesn't change the situation and I don't think your babysitter owes you anything in this case. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/miscommunication-with-babysitter#post-2742991 Fri, 02 Jun 2017 08:19:03 +0000 erinbaderin 2742991@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Honestly, I think this was your "fault" - she didn't give you any reason to think that her plans had changed other than saying that she hadn't yet gotten a job - the fact that she hadn't gotten any offers a few weeks ago doesn't mean that she wouldn't get any in the intervening time.</p> <p>That being said I can totally see how the stress of suddenly (in your mind) being in this situation would make you freak out, and her message does sound a bit brusque. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/miscommunication-with-babysitter#post-2742990 Fri, 02 Jun 2017 08:18:31 +0000 PeaceLily 2742990@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would feel blindsided as well. I'm sure she thought her plans sounded more definitive than it actually came across, but since she never mentioned anything again after the initial discussion in early May I think it was normal for you to assume that her plans may have changed. How weird that she didn't say anything to you yesterday like, "Hey, just a reminder tomorrow will be my last day." Sorry you're in this situation! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/miscommunication-with-babysitter#post-2742980 Fri, 02 Jun 2017 07:59:08 +0000 mrskansas 2742980@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Littlebit7: That's the biggest thing I think. I have until Monday to figure this out. I'm very fortunate I have a flexible job or I'd be up a creek right now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/miscommunication-with-babysitter#post-2742976 Fri, 02 Jun 2017 07:54:49 +0000 Littlebit7 2742976@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrskansas: and I can totally understand how you feel. Not only being blindsided but also the now urgency to find care which probably only increases how upset you feel.<br /> We had a part time nanny that more or less gave us two weeks notice. We were scrambling. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/miscommunication-with-babysitter#post-2742975 Fri, 02 Jun 2017 07:51:42 +0000 mrskansas 2742975@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Littlebit7: I agree. It was an unfortunate miscommunication on both of our parts. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/miscommunication-with-babysitter#post-2742973 Fri, 02 Jun 2017 07:46:08 +0000 Littlebit7 2742973@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I can see how you feel slighted, but I'd chalk it up to exactly what you titled your post. A miscommunication. On everyone's parts but I don't think you can assign more blame to her. I'd keep it cordial and wish her well and move on. (Plus you never know if she will circle back later if the job thing doesn't work out. Don't want to burn a bridge if you were generally happy with her aside from this miscommunication). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/miscommunication-with-babysitter#post-2742970 Fri, 02 Jun 2017 07:36:56 +0000 mrskansas 2742970@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We've had a SAHM watch our daughter for the past 2 years. She spends about 2 hours a day in her home.<br /> At the beginning of May, our sitter told us that she was going to have to go back to work for financial reasons and had been interviewing for jobs to start at the end of May. I started looking for someone new but put my search on hold when she told my husband about a week later that she hadn't gotten any offers yet. </p> <p>She has said nothing to myself or my husband since then. Yesterday when I picked my daughter up, she gave me her diapers back except for one for the next day. I didn't think much of it until I was driving home and called my husband to ask if she had said anything about starting a job, and he said no.</p> <p>I texted her "Forgive me if I missed something but is tomorrow your last day?". She replied: "Yes, I said the end of May. So this is the last week of May. LO has speech therapy at 3:30 in town and I'm going to spend the summer with the boys. I thought that's what we discussed. I am getting a job as well."</p> <p>I was immediately taken back by her message and my husband called me right away (he was included) and commented on how rude it sounded. I guess at this point it doesn't matter, but do we have any right to feel blindsided about this? I guess I'm trying to justify my feelings about being upset by how this happened. Maybe it's partly my fault too? </p>