https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 11 Apr 2026 10:03:00 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/missed-miscarriage-next-steps#post-2880165 Wed, 10 Apr 2019 09:18:06 +0000 karenbme 2880165@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetCaroline: I'm so sorry you had to go through this, but I'm glad the worst of it is over. I hope you're able to take some time to heal. Hugs. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/missed-miscarriage-next-steps#post-2880163 Wed, 10 Apr 2019 09:16:00 +0000 bhbee 2880163@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetCaroline: hugs, I’m glad you found a path that worked for you and wish you the best for the emotional healing to come. I had the same experience pre-op, wish that could be different. Also wanted to add - I had a rough time with the hormonal drop in the weeks after, coupled with the emotions, but seemed to be the consensus on here that if you do feel that way, by the time AF returns it usually improves a lot. Just so you know there is a light at the end of the tunnel. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/missed-miscarriage-next-steps#post-2880162 Wed, 10 Apr 2019 09:15:00 +0000 nwm 2880162@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetCaroline: thinking of you and sending :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/missed-miscarriage-next-steps#post-2880153 Wed, 10 Apr 2019 08:44:53 +0000 SweetCaroline 2880153@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You were all so incredibly helpful and giving in sharing your experiences. You well equipped me for the final appointment with our doctor. Ultimately, she highly encouraged me to get a D&amp;C and bless her heart, while she couldn't fit me in for an appointment on Monday, she arranged a D&amp;C for yesterday late morning. We met with her early in the AM, got a final ultrasound, discussed the various options and agreed to a D&amp;C.</p> <p>For reference, we chose a D&amp;C for multiple reasons:<br /> -The placenta and sac were in good shape and showed no signs of breaking down or breaking away. I just have this thought in my head that my body is stubborn and perhaps Cytotec would not have been completely effective (thus ending up with a D&amp;C anyway).<br /> -The baby stopped developing 3-1/2 weeks ago, and still there we were, waiting. I have a 4 year old. While she was not aware of the pregnancy or loss, she was aware of the general change in routine, mama resting more, etc. I wanted life to return to a happy normal for her as soon as possible.<br /> -I needed to start my physical recovery ASAP before I could effectively address my mental and emotional recovery.<br /> -I am total Type A and work FT at a job I love. I struggled as each day I wondered what meetings I would end up needing to reschedule, when it would happen, etc.</p> <p>The worst part about the D&amp;C was the pre-surgery prep (on an emotional front only). I was alone in a room for 1-1/2 hours with people popping in every 30 minute or so. DH was not allowed back at that time. It was hard being left alone with my thoughts and having to sign the consent with the brutal medical terminology and having to verbally confirm what I was there for.</p> <p>As far as recovery, while I'm still in the first 24 hours, it has been simple. I feel better now and have less bleeding than I did before the procedure.</p> <p>I hope this rambling info can help someone else in the future as so many of these strong women on here helped me. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/missed-miscarriage-next-steps#post-2880150 Wed, 10 Apr 2019 08:28:38 +0000 SweetCaroline 2880150@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@karenbme: @Chuckles: @LAZB: @Jessiemuller88: @Kemma: @breakouttheicecream: Thank you so much for sharing your love and strength so willingly. Each and every one of your comments was helpful. I'm sorry for the losses you have experienced. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/missed-miscarriage-next-steps#post-2879758 Mon, 08 Apr 2019 11:08:08 +0000 breakouttheicecream 2879758@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetCaroline, I'm so sorry. This is the worst, and it feels like it happens for no reason. Sending so many good wishes your way.</p> <p>I miscarried about a week and a half ago naturally, at 7.5 weeks, though the bloodwork was rough for most of the pregnancy. It's hard not to hope if you still behave like a pregnant person, things might turn around against the odds; it's also exhausting. Being in limbo is so tough.</p> <p>You have good reasons to choose the medication, D&amp;C, etc. if you just want this stage to be over. The doctor didn't really recommend anything in my case, just laid out the options. I hope whatever you choose feels right to you.</p> <p>Good luck, too, with the weeks ahead. Hope you can find space to feel whatever you need to feel. Please let us know if you need support. Will be thinking of you. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/missed-miscarriage-next-steps#post-2879686 Sun, 07 Apr 2019 19:47:14 +0000 Kemma 2879686@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was in a similar situation two years ago and I ended up miscarrying naturally due to the wait to get in to see the Obstetrician at our local hospital. The pregnancy had stopped progressing at around seven weeks and it took about three weeks for my body to finally start passing the sac etc (no heartbeat on 1 February, sac starting to collapse on 6 February and the miscarriage completed on 22 February).</p> <p>In some ways I was kind of glad that I didn’t opt for any intervention but mainly because I was nursing a toddler and I didn’t want to have an already awful situation made more traumatic by having to suddenly wean my wee guy.</p> <p>The miscarriage itself took three days (two awful episodes of cramping, bleeding and passing clots on Monday and Tuesday then a final episode on the Wednesday) and the pain was comparable to being in labour and I wasn’t able to leave the bathroom while it was happening.</p> <p>Waiting to miscarry was pretty sucky and I had to very awkwardly leave work in the middle of running the payroll and to be perfectly honest that was probably the worst part of the whole thing!</p> <p>Hang in there and I hope you’re on the mend soon ❤️ </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/missed-miscarriage-next-steps#post-2879672 Sun, 07 Apr 2019 15:20:44 +0000 Jessiemuller88 2879672@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetCaroline: hugs. I’m so sorry you are going through this. I had a MMC in October of last year. I went in at 8.5 weeks, and the baby had stopped growing at 6. I was given the same options as you, and I chose the misoprostol. The first day was pretty intense cramping, and I started passing clots. I cramped for 2 more days, and I finally passed it on the 3rd day after having a series of contractions. It was a very emotional process, but I would choose the misoprostol again. Hang in there. I know how hard this is. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/missed-miscarriage-next-steps#post-2879671 Sun, 07 Apr 2019 15:07:55 +0000 LAZB 2879671@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetCaroline: I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I have had three miscarriages and have done both options. Neither the meds nor the d&amp;c were particularly difficult or painful for me physically. The d&amp;c I didn’t bleed quite as much, but if I were in your shoes, I’d probably just try the meds first to see if you can skip a surgical procedure (and bill for that matter). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/missed-miscarriage-next-steps#post-2879665 Sun, 07 Apr 2019 14:06:15 +0000 Chuckles 2879665@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetCaroline: I'm so sorry that you are going through this. I had a D&amp;C for a MMC/blighted ovum last year. It was discovered at 8 weeks, but I had to wait until 10 weeks and 2 more ultrasounds before the OB would confirm the miscarriage. At that point, I realized my body wouldn't deal with it on it's own, so I didn't want to keep waiting, even though that was presented as an option. I chose the D&amp;C over misoprostol for similar reasons to pp's. I just wanted it to be over, and I didn't want to have to emotionally deal with passing the pregnancy. I feel confident that it was the right choice. It was physically an easy procedure. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/missed-miscarriage-next-steps#post-2879658 Sun, 07 Apr 2019 13:13:41 +0000 karenbme 2879658@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetCaroline: Again, I’m so sorry you’re going through this. My first pregnancy also stopped developing around 6 1/2 weeks and we discovered it at 9+. I had no spotting or other mc symptoms. I was offered misoprostol, D&amp;C, or EUE, which is an office procedure similar to D&amp;C done without anesthesia. On a side note, I was required to have an EUE with my second ectopic because they couldn’t see a sac anywhere and it was excruciating, if you have other options I would avoid EUE. I picked misoprostol for my miscarriage because I felt more comfortable doing it at home. The cramping was bad, but a heating pad helped a lot. The heavy bleeding lasted about an hour or two, and I just spent that time in the bathroom passing lots of blood and large clots. After that I bled for about a week, but lighter than a normal period. My doctor said we could try again after one normal period, but it took a couple months for my cycle to regulate.</p> <p>I hope that helps. This is such an awful situation to be in. ❤️ </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/missed-miscarriage-next-steps#post-2879637 Sun, 07 Apr 2019 07:23:20 +0000 SweetCaroline 2879637@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bees_knees: Thank you :heart: </p> <p>@Pollywog: I'm sorry for your loss. You've given me some good things to think about. Thank you for sharing your experience. </p> <p>@Mrs. Champagne: Thank you. I'm sorry for your losses. I've read that thread at least 3 times, it is incredibly helpful, thank you.</p> <p>@CatyLady: Thank you. I'm sorry for your loss. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/missed-miscarriage-next-steps#post-2879633 Sun, 07 Apr 2019 03:51:35 +0000 CatyLady 2879633@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetCaroline: Hey there, firstly sorry you’re going through this and it will take time to get over. Hope my experience can help in some way. I had a miscarriage last July, growth stopped at around 6 weeks and it took until over 11 weeks for my body to deal with it, it can be because your body wants to keep it. I started feeling unwell a few days before and I think this maybe because your body is fighting to keep it but then it knows it also needs to let go. Take care. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/missed-miscarriage-next-steps#post-2879631 Sat, 06 Apr 2019 23:20:13 +0000 Mrs. Champagne 2879631@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I’m so sorry for your loss. </p> <p>I have been there twice and detailed my experiences here as did many others. </p> <p><a href="https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-misoprostol-experience-for-missed-miscarriage" rel="nofollow">https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-misoprostol-experience-for-missed-miscarriage</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/missed-miscarriage-next-steps#post-2879625 Sat, 06 Apr 2019 22:17:27 +0000 Pollywog 2879625@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry for your lost. I was a little further along than you and given the option of waiting, taking misiprosotol or a D&amp;C.. I waited and then had a D&amp;C. If I were to do it again, I wouldn't do s D&amp;C. My recovery was rough and it's now something I have to disclose at every new doctor's office. Plus, it put me at having an increased risk of placenta previa, which sucked. Lastly, it was more expensive than childbirth.</p> <p>I wasn't told to wait 3 months. I conceived my 3 year old 2 cycles after my mmc and the cycle after a chemical pregnancy </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/missed-miscarriage-next-steps#post-2879622 Sat, 06 Apr 2019 21:01:51 +0000 bees_knees 2879622@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetCaroline: thinking of you :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/missed-miscarriage-next-steps#post-2879613 Sat, 06 Apr 2019 19:37:07 +0000 SweetCaroline 2879613@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MLE81: I'm so sorry for your losses.</p> <p>I really appreciate you sharing your experiences, it is very helpful to hear them both. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/missed-miscarriage-next-steps#post-2879609 Sat, 06 Apr 2019 19:14:58 +0000 MLE81 2879609@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am very sorry for your loss.</p> <p>In 2013, I found out at about 8 weeks that there was no heartbeat and growth had stopped about two weeks prior. However, for whatever reason (the main one being an inexperienced doctor, I think), I was almost 11 weeks before I was referred to an early pregnancy clinic where they confirmed the loss and gave me the choice to wait it out, take misoprostol, or have a D and C. My body showed no signs of recognizing the loss, and at that point I felt that I just wanted things over with as quickly and painlessly as possible. I opted for a D and C and although I was nervous, it was definitely the right choice for me at the time. Procedure went smoothly and my (physical) recovery was quick and easy.</p> <p>Last fall, I was 7 weeks pregnant and when there was no heartbeat, my doctor recommended the miso. A D and C was still an option but scheduling at the hospital meant I’d have to wait about a week. I opted for the miso and although I was terrified it would be awful, it really wasn’t that bad. Took the pain meds they prescribed and it was all over with in less than twelve hours. Like you, I was also worried that I would still need a D and C, but thankfully I did not.</p> <p>All that to say, both times I felt strongly about what was the right choice for me, so if you’re leaning towards one or the other, I would say trust your gut. Best of luck to you whatever you decide/happens. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/missed-miscarriage-next-steps#post-2879608 Sat, 06 Apr 2019 19:04:32 +0000 SweetCaroline 2879608@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bhbee: Thank you for sharing, it is very helpful. I'm sorry for your loss. </p> <p>Hopefully my doctor will recommend one over the other off the bat, which would make it easier than giving me an open choice. Which is rather ironic because I never would have said that previous to this...I'm all about choices normally. Just want to move on. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/missed-miscarriage-next-steps#post-2879607 Sat, 06 Apr 2019 19:01:23 +0000 SweetCaroline 2879607@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@skinnycow: @pachamama: Thank you for sharing your experiences, it's so helpful. I'm sorry for your loss.</p> <p> @skinnycow: It's helpful to know how long you were advised to wait. Three months would not deter me by itself, I think. You put my feelings into words better than I could...I just want to be physically detached from this pregnancy. </p> <p>@pachamama: I tend to agree with you...it seems that if I am spotting, things are headed in the right direction and the meds might be all I need. At this point, I think the D&amp;C is appealing because it seems like the easiest way out... I hope the doc has some good advice to help me process my thoughts. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/missed-miscarriage-next-steps#post-2879605 Sat, 06 Apr 2019 18:58:15 +0000 bhbee 2879605@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I’m so sorry :sad: </p> <p>I found out baby had no more hb at 11w probably stopped developing about 2 weeks before. I’d had one day of red spotting so went in with a bad feeling - my ob advised the d&amp;c since my body wasn’t doing much yet, also I really wanted the closure. I had 3 days to wait and no more spotting so who knows when it would have happened naturally. It was physically easy and was a good choice for me. My ob said we didn’t have to wait to try again- it took us a while to get another bfp but that was likely my age/history. Hugs :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/missed-miscarriage-next-steps#post-2879604 Sat, 06 Apr 2019 18:50:33 +0000 pachamama 2879604@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry. I also had a MMC at 13 weeks for a baby that passed at 8 weeks. I chose a D&amp;C only bc I had no spotting or any symptoms whatsoever of a miscarriage. That being said ... In my opinion, if you can avoid a surgery - and the d&amp;c is a very easy one- I would avoid it. It sometimes can have repercussions on future pregnancies, especially if you have more than 1 and if you are older. Maybe if you're already spotting maybe misiprostol will nudge it to where you can naturally pass the baby. Either option is very safe though. Xoxo sorry again. It's so hard. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/missed-miscarriage-next-steps#post-2879603 Sat, 06 Apr 2019 18:36:52 +0000 skinnycow 2879603@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry :heart: </p> <p>I had a very similar experience. I should have been about 9 weeks but had a missed miscarriage at 7 weeks. My OB gave me the option of waiting it out, misoprostol, or a D&amp;C. I chose to have a D&amp;C because I wanted it to be over and wanted to be detached from physically passing the pregnancy. FWIW, I was happy with my decision - the D&amp;C was quick and painless. </p> <p>I don't know what your plans are for TTC again but my OB advised that I not try again for 3 cycles. That wasn't a factor in my decision because we needed to wait for other reasons. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/missed-miscarriage-next-steps#post-2879597 Sat, 06 Apr 2019 18:09:41 +0000 SweetCaroline 2879597@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I should be 9 weeks but found out baby stopped developing around 6 weeks. I went in for spotting. I started cramping on Thursday night--it has been sporadic and I haven't passed anything....still just red spotting. I'm supposed to go in on Monday again.</p> <p>Curious to know if I will be offered the choice between misiprostol and a D&amp;C or if the loss was early enough Dr. will want me to start with misiprostol. Please weigh in if you have experience.</p> <p>It's hard to wrap my head around the fact the pregnancy ended a 3 weeks ago but my body hasn't recognized it. With DD I went to 41+ weeks, and my labor needed to be augmented with Pitocin. Makes me worried misiprostol might not be totally effective and I'll end up with a D&amp;C anyway. Perhaps this isn't totally rational, but I feel stuck in purgatory.</p> <p>ETA: I feel like my comparison of my full term labor to this experience made no sense! Basically, my body has shown it is extremely stubborn! </p>