https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 07 May 2026 10:38:02 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mlb-player-gets-grief-for-taking-paternity-leave/page/2#post-1544317 Thu, 03 Apr 2014 19:22:51 +0000 MrsH 1544317@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Pirouette: love this analogy! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mlb-player-gets-grief-for-taking-paternity-leave/page/2#post-1544296 Thu, 03 Apr 2014 19:17:42 +0000 Pirouette 1544296@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Also, should we take away their bereavement leave as well? I mean, it's not like they are the ones who died, right? There are actually a few things in life more important than a baseball game and a job. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mlb-player-gets-grief-for-taking-paternity-leave/page/2#post-1544280 Thu, 03 Apr 2014 19:13:49 +0000 Pirouette 1544280@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>To me, it's one thing for a talk show host who has a history of being obnoxious to rile fans up to say this, but it's another that this became such a big deal he had to issue a statement defending his actions! Are you kidding me?? defending taking time he is entitled to take during the first week of the season? Pathetic! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mlb-player-gets-grief-for-taking-paternity-leave/page/2#post-1544148 Thu, 03 Apr 2014 18:24:05 +0000 hilsy85 1544148@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@rattles: I hear that too--that the other commentator said, "well if it was my wife, I would have had her do a c-section before opening day" WTF?! Watching this made me so angry--what assholes. You can disagree with the player's choice, but it was his choice to make, and he shouldn't be disparaged as a person or a player for it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mlb-player-gets-grief-for-taking-paternity-leave/page/2#post-1544002 Thu, 03 Apr 2014 17:33:38 +0000 Canoli 1544002@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I read this too and was very bothered. My husband helped a lot while we were in the hospital. I don't understand why people think a father wouldn't want to spend time with their newborn child! Ridiculous! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mlb-player-gets-grief-for-taking-paternity-leave/page/2#post-1543956 Thu, 03 Apr 2014 17:19:37 +0000 deactivated_account 1543956@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@birdofafeather: That's such a great opinion! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mlb-player-gets-grief-for-taking-paternity-leave/page/2#post-1543947 Thu, 03 Apr 2014 17:17:32 +0000 birdofafeather 1543947@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsMcD: if he did indeed take off 3 games out of 162, that's only 2% rounding up, which equals about a 40 hour week for a normal FT job. if that's the agreed upon amount between DH and his employer, i would absolutely use it, especially in the beginning of the season and especially for our first child! if you're taking play offs, etc, then i might change my tune, but sounds totally appropriate for the situation. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mlb-player-gets-grief-for-taking-paternity-leave/page/2#post-1543509 Thu, 03 Apr 2014 15:13:26 +0000 rattles 1543509@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I find the idea that the wife should schedule non-trivial surgery to better accommodate two baseball games laughable. By and large though, I felt the talk show guys were doing their job as far as I could tell (riling people up on a call in show, preaching to their audience of rabid sports fans) and plenty of people came to the player's defense. The fact that he had the option to take time and most people seemed to defend his choice seems promising to me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mlb-player-gets-grief-for-taking-paternity-leave/page/2#post-1543398 Thu, 03 Apr 2014 14:49:16 +0000 pui 1543398@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PurplePeony: Well golf tends to hit an older demographic, people who are more likely to be parents, so maybe that's it?</p> <p>The people who made these comments though aren't young. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mlb-player-gets-grief-for-taking-paternity-leave/page/2#post-1543365 Thu, 03 Apr 2014 14:39:39 +0000 PurplePeony 1543365@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This makes me think of the golfer who was winning a tournament when he got the call that his wife had gone into labor (a few weeks early), so he walked right off the course and headed to the airport...IIRC, he got mainly applause for being a good husband and father. Is it due to individual vs team sport? Or are the fans of the two sports really so different? Regardless, I'm glad this player took what he was entitled to, or at least part of it, and I bet by midseason nobody is going to remember that he missed a game. But he and his family will remember those precious first few days with their little one. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mlb-player-gets-grief-for-taking-paternity-leave/page/2#post-1543345 Thu, 03 Apr 2014 14:34:23 +0000 MrsKoala 1543345@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsSCB: I agree with you regarding the lack of work-life balance in the US. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mlb-player-gets-grief-for-taking-paternity-leave/page/2#post-1543296 Thu, 03 Apr 2014 14:24:20 +0000 spaniellove 1543296@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, it is the culture/expectation here in America that sucks. My husband doesn't get paternity leave of any kind and will have to use his vacation time. Even then he'll be the first male in his company to take any kind of time off after a birth - even though he's the last to become a father. It's bizarre for them that he isn't just having a nanny tend to everything for me (not that having help is wrong, just that he should get the right to be there too). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mlb-player-gets-grief-for-taking-paternity-leave/page/2#post-1543279 Thu, 03 Apr 2014 14:21:53 +0000 MrsSCB 1543279@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mae: Exactly. For the most part, I think true "work-life balance" is a completely foreign concept in this country -- from parental leave to vacation time and more -- and it's just sad. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mlb-player-gets-grief-for-taking-paternity-leave/page/2#post-1543275 Thu, 03 Apr 2014 14:21:06 +0000 deerylou 1543275@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband took three weeks of partially paid paternity leave, after the birth of our daughter. It was such an important and special time, for our family. I hate the idea that men aren't necessary sources of love and support during the newborn period, as it's so far from the truth. It's unfortunate that this player is receiving such dated backlash, but it's likely he feels zero remorse. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mlb-player-gets-grief-for-taking-paternity-leave/page/2#post-1543263 Thu, 03 Apr 2014 14:19:05 +0000 Mae 1543263@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsSCB: lolz. Sort of like the coke commercial Super Bowl controversy where people were upset that "our national anthem" was being sung in other languages... but it wasn't our national anthem. At least dumb people self-identity in their criticism :) But I do think, just generally, it's sad that America culture doesn't really seem to value families at all. I mean-- we SAY we do. Although most of the talking points on valuing families somehow get twisted into things that have nothing to do with families like gay marriage. But I think a lot of other countries recognize that people work to support their families, and allowing people to be good parents makes better workers. In America we soooort of want you to have kids (so those kids can support us when we retire) but you better figure out how to have them all while not losing an ounce of productivity... capitalism dont-ya-know ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mlb-player-gets-grief-for-taking-paternity-leave/page/2#post-1543258 Thu, 03 Apr 2014 14:17:20 +0000 pui 1543258@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>How DARE someone rather be home to take care of their newborn and recovering wife instead of playing a sport. Does this man have no sense of priorities!? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mlb-player-gets-grief-for-taking-paternity-leave/page/2#post-1543247 Thu, 03 Apr 2014 14:14:58 +0000 MrsSCB 1543247@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mae: Totally agree. The league said it was ok, his team said it was ok -- frankly everyone can just STFU. Because here's the danger of this kind of criticism -- I saw lots of fans saying, "Paternity leave is for women" all over social media. Putting aside the hilarity of that statement ("paternity" by definition applies to MEN, people!) I just think that's a terrible sentiment for people to have. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mlb-player-gets-grief-for-taking-paternity-leave#post-1543239 Thu, 03 Apr 2014 14:12:29 +0000 kjpugs 1543239@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mae: I think you're right, reputation is a BIG issue for men attempting to take leave. DH worried a lot about what he'd miss at his job, especially because he's hoping to be promoted within the year.</p> <p>And from what I saw on the news this AM, this player is only taking 1 game. So it's not like he's even using the 3 games he's allowed! Ridiculous. He should be encouraged to do so. That time is so important! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mlb-player-gets-grief-for-taking-paternity-leave#post-1543234 Thu, 03 Apr 2014 14:10:29 +0000 kjpugs 1543234@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MUI831: that's a great point. And it's not like it's the playoffs, which honestly, as a wife, I might be like ok honey my mom is coming over tomorrow so you can go to the game. But beginning of the season? And BASEBALL? I say it's ok to skip! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mlb-player-gets-grief-for-taking-paternity-leave#post-1543232 Thu, 03 Apr 2014 14:10:03 +0000 Mae 1543232@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Definitely agree that anyone criticizing this guy sucks. They negotiated for paternity leave-- a whopping 3 games-- and he is taking it. I think it is awesome that he realizes that his wife/kid are way more important than ANY job. Even the all-important life shattering job of hitting a ball with a bat. Haters can hate, but I have a lot of respect for the guy for manning up and having the right priorities. </p> <p>@kjpugs: Agree that America sucks :) It isn't even just that we don't have paid leave, its that it can be hard to get ANY leave. My husband "gets" 2 days (wowwww lol). But he has a ton of vacation time. He talked to his manager yesterday about taking 4 weeks off to be home with me and the baby because he has lots of time to take and he just wants to be home with us that first month. He was told that they really only allow 2 weeks for paternity leave (i.e. even using your own vacation time, you can only use 2 weeks of it regardless of how much you have). Now, the manager did say that if it was a really big deal to him they could make special appeals and possibly get that extended, which I don't think he is going to do because it sounds like it will hurt his reputation to push for it. But I was just really surprised that if he HAS the time to use, his own earned time, he can't use it for the birth/first few weeks of his child's life! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mlb-player-gets-grief-for-taking-paternity-leave#post-1543228 Thu, 03 Apr 2014 14:08:38 +0000 Mommy Finger 1543228@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I remember when I was due with DS, Peanut Tillman of the Bears was due to have his 4th child. Well, obviously, his wife was. But he was very vocal about how if she had the baby over the weekend, he would absolutely miss the game. And I don't remember people being upset about it. Actually, people were giving him kudos. I'm interested that there is such a difference over a player in the NFL (~16 games a season) vs MLB (162 games a season). Granted, maybe this was just a Chicago thing and I missed the outrage elsewhere. I understand that their jobs are different but think it should be the decision of the family on whether they take some time off. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mlb-player-gets-grief-for-taking-paternity-leave#post-1543224 Thu, 03 Apr 2014 14:06:49 +0000 deactivated_account 1543224@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@kjpugs: True that! </p> <p> @MrsKoala: My laugh comes from me imagining you, with your hand on your hip, saying, "It's called the bench" as if you were informing me of a new concept despite my saying that I have friends in the big leagues. No intent to offend. </p> <p>Truce, friends! Let's all hope, pray and wish for a better paternity leave policy for all!!!!!!!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mlb-player-gets-grief-for-taking-paternity-leave#post-1543217 Thu, 03 Apr 2014 14:04:03 +0000 Smurfette 1543217@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsMcD: @kjpugs: America does suck in regards to maternity leave. 6 weeks is complete and total crap. Even 12 weeks is crap. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mlb-player-gets-grief-for-taking-paternity-leave#post-1543215 Thu, 03 Apr 2014 14:03:41 +0000 kjpugs 1543215@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsMcD: I'm not saying I have it all figured out, I just wish America put more of a priority on family like that. Our people, our government, our media. America sucks = tongue in cheek. I feel America has more to offer than other countries or else I wouldn't be living here. I just think our societal norms around this topic are skewed, and I don't see it changing anytime soon. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mlb-player-gets-grief-for-taking-paternity-leave#post-1543214 Thu, 03 Apr 2014 14:03:37 +0000 MrsH 1543214@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>What a great Dad! People suck. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mlb-player-gets-grief-for-taking-paternity-leave#post-1543213 Thu, 03 Apr 2014 14:03:27 +0000 MrsKoala 1543213@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsMcD: No need to laugh at my reaction. That was a bit harsh. I'm just pointing out that even though the MLB is different, it isn't as if the teams can't do without the players. I'm angry that talk show hosts are making a big deal out of it. I get that no one else cares but the very idea that these guys think that having a baby shouldn't be a big deal to the players or their wives rubs me the wrong way. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mlb-player-gets-grief-for-taking-paternity-leave#post-1543201 Thu, 03 Apr 2014 14:01:02 +0000 deactivated_account 1543201@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@kjpugs: I would love a great system in the US that provides paid-leave for all new parents. But how in the world would that work with how many people we have in our country? There are many less populated countries that offer great benefits like what we are discussing here. But for various reasons I would so much rather live in the US. </p> <p>@MrsSCB: If Murphy had any other job, my opinion would be so much different. But its the MLB! I'm not going to change my sentiment on this issue. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mlb-player-gets-grief-for-taking-paternity-leave#post-1543200 Thu, 03 Apr 2014 14:01:02 +0000 Mommy Finger 1543200@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Actually, in regards to parental leave, I think America sucks. But that's a discussion for another day </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mlb-player-gets-grief-for-taking-paternity-leave#post-1543181 Thu, 03 Apr 2014 13:55:16 +0000 MrsSCB 1543181@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsMcD: Mets fans and everyone else talking about it. There are plenty more people criticizing Murphy's choice than just these two guys. Men have a hard enough time getting equal parental rights to women without getting crap for a few DAYS of paternity leave. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mlb-player-gets-grief-for-taking-paternity-leave#post-1543177 Thu, 03 Apr 2014 13:54:38 +0000 kjpugs 1543177@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsMcD: that is strong, I get that. But I only got 6 weeks. And many of my friends' husbands get none. And my SIL got none at her job. I just wish the country could make it a prority/requirement and normalize it. </p>