https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 14 May 2026 12:26:57 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mom-just-does-not-get-it#post-1148728 Mon, 14 Oct 2013 10:41:19 +0000 justdarling 1148728@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am so sorry you are going through this. I had the same issue with my mom. I stopped being so open with her about it. I also had a little heart to heart chat with her recently and laid out what was acceptable support and what wasn't. That has helped. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mom-just-does-not-get-it#post-1147868 Sun, 13 Oct 2013 18:54:10 +0000 FaithFertility 1147868@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrsmate: Your mom sounds alot like my mom....lol Thank you and yes I agree this cycle we are being a little more hush hush about it </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mom-just-does-not-get-it#post-1147858 Sun, 13 Oct 2013 18:40:28 +0000 mrsmate 1147858@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm sorry about your mom. When I told my own mom we were planning on moving onto IUI, she told me we shouldn't bc "it's too hard." Mind you, she had no idea what the process entailed. She just thinks she knows everything.</p> <p>I just didn't say anything more after that, and I didn't tell her when I got my BFP. She had to wait to find out with everyone else at 3mo. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mom-just-does-not-get-it#post-1147757 Sun, 13 Oct 2013 16:02:33 +0000 mrs. 64 1147757@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm sorry. :( My mom hasn't said anything really hurtful, but we definitely see things differently. She tried for many years to conceive my sister and just had a whatever happens happens philosophy. She doesn't understand my overanalyzing of temps and opks, and she definitely doesn't understand why I have gotten emotional when AF showed. Even though we are really close I'm afraid to share all of my ups and downs because I'm worried she thinks I'm nuts. </p> <p>If you told her that what she said hurt your feelings then hopefully she will be more aware. If not, we're always here to listen (even though I know it's not the same). Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mom-just-does-not-get-it#post-1147725 Sun, 13 Oct 2013 15:28:34 +0000 Mrs. Polish 1147725@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If it ever happens again, I would try to gently explain that adoption isn't a consolation prize. I hated when people would suggest it to me, and I will never suggest it for anyone else. It isn't for everyone, and you don't just do it because you face IF. Hugs to you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mom-just-does-not-get-it#post-1147653 Sun, 13 Oct 2013 14:06:34 +0000 MrsMccarthy 1147653@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm not sure of your moms humor but maybe sending her something like this or cutting and pasting what's relevant to you and sending it would help her understand how you feel? I'm sure some people have better links than I do <a href="http://m.xojane.com/issues/how-not-to-be-a-dick-to-your-infertile-friend" rel="nofollow">http://m.xojane.com/issues/how-not-to-be-a-dick-to-your-infertile-friend</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mom-just-does-not-get-it#post-1147612 Sun, 13 Oct 2013 13:15:04 +0000 FaithFertility 1147612@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Awww thanks girls..I &lt;3 my mom and I know she means well, it is hard not to talk to her about it because if I don't she takes it personal......but we are def keeping more on the down low this cycle!!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mom-just-does-not-get-it#post-1147602 Sun, 13 Oct 2013 13:07:37 +0000 swedishfish 1147602@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@FaithFertility: this is why I stopped talking to my MIL about our issues. She told me that my DH's cousin had it worse than us. Really? Just be there and listen. We struggled too just due to different reasons. </p> <p>Your mom means well but probably doesn't realize what to say. My mom had no trouble conceiving me but struggled with my middle sister so she was able to sympathize. Maybe you should sit down with her and talk about how you're feeling. She's right - adoption is a great option for many people - but that's not what you need to hear right now.</p> <p>ETA - and good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mom-just-does-not-get-it#post-1147598 Sun, 13 Oct 2013 13:04:34 +0000 TheSwissWifeStyle 1147598@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>::hugs:: I'm sorry your mom's comment was hurtful. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mom-just-does-not-get-it#post-1147587 Sun, 13 Oct 2013 12:59:35 +0000 MrsMccarthy 1147587@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Aww I am so sorry. I am sure she means well but people who haven't been through what you're going through just do not understand. Adoption is a beautiful thing but it is not easy and it is a very hard thing to have to think about when you still have hopes of getting pregnant on your own. I am praying you will realize your dream soon. Good luck with your IUI. Perhaps avoid the topic with momma if you can r see if you can find some good literature to send her. Hugs </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mom-just-does-not-get-it#post-1147563 Sun, 13 Oct 2013 12:36:32 +0000 FaithFertility 1147563@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Long story short me and DH have been TTC for almost 2 yrs, the past 6 months we have been working hard with RE to start IUI and are on IUI #2 </p> <p>My mom is there for me/us but her advice and talks never help, I know she is coming from a good place but the things she says at times are hurtful and well don't make sense.....Example: After our failed IUI I was upset and told her I was fearful of the future...she says..." what would be the big deal if you could never get PG Is Adoption that BAD????"</p> <p>I was like really MOM???? I am only on my 1st IUI Adoption is really not in my thoughts, and your going to say this on a day I found out about a chemical pregnancy?!?!</p> <p>I know she was looking at the bigger picture and no adoption would not be awful but mentally I am not there yet......not even close....</p> <p>It is hard to listen to advice from a person who gets PG at the drop of a hat...even if it is your mother :/ </p>