https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 28 Apr 2026 05:15:42 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mommy-preference-vicious-cycle-help#post-2137421 Thu, 09 Apr 2015 00:16:19 +0000 Mama Bird 2137421@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@2littlepumpkins: that sounds so much like our situation! And it's better and worse here too... tonight when I came home they were hugging, and it's such a joy to see :happy: </p> <p>I hope our kids appreciate their daddies more when they're older!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mommy-preference-vicious-cycle-help#post-2137092 Wed, 08 Apr 2015 17:17:20 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2137092@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wouldn't try to do anything while he's sick either. My dh is the stricter one, and I guess you could say a little more abrasive toward dd than I am (while honestly I think I should be a little stricter) and between that and me SAH dd has a huge mama preference. It gets better and then worse and better and worse but lately has been bad. Not too long ago she threw a 30 minute tantrum just because dh buckled her into her carseat and she wanted me to do it. For the most part we do what you do although now that she is talking we are telling her directly "sometimes daddy does it, sometimes mommy does it." I don't know where this road ends up but I know it's not that uncommon. Maybe your DH can learn to walk away when lo gets too testy, as long as lo is safe. We are starting to do that (instead of more explanations she gets one or two, or maybe three, and that's it, we ignore...otherwise she'll ask til she thinks she can get her way.) and I do think it's starting to make a difference but it is a little hit or miss. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mommy-preference-vicious-cycle-help#post-2137011 Wed, 08 Apr 2015 16:16:08 +0000 Mama Bird 2137011@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hilsy85: Thanks for the kind words :happy: I feel like I'm doing something wrong, but I'll keep trying. Hopefully once DS feels better, I'll be able to step back a little and let them bond. I'm praying that one day the kid wakes up and decides that he adores daddy and I'm chopped liver :grin: it'll hurt my feelings of course, but they need to be better to each other! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mommy-preference-vicious-cycle-help#post-2136671 Wed, 08 Apr 2015 13:13:13 +0000 hilsy85 2136671@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If he's not feeling good, it's understandable that he would just want mommy. Once he is feeling better, I would continue just trying to give them time alone. I commiserate, we are in a similar situation. LO is much better with Dh when they spend extended periods of time alone doing stuff--going to the store, going to the park, etc </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/mommy-preference-vicious-cycle-help#post-2136659 Wed, 08 Apr 2015 13:09:35 +0000 Mama Bird 2136659@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So DS has had a mommy preference for a long time. It's not totally random, in my opinion DH does some kind of insensitive things that encourage it... like constantly pestering the kid to eat when he's not hungry, and bear hugging him when he's just going about his own business and doesn't want a hug. I try as much as I can to back up whatever DH is doing in front of DS, and I've spoken to him several times privately about being a little more sensitive to DS. I've also made an effort to disappear at times when he's waking up DS or brushing his teeth, so the kid can't demand that I do it. I thought things were getting better, but nope... they've taken a real nose dive. DS is sick and has thrown several huge tantrums in the last few days if DH just came near him, he's pretty mean, and of course poor DH eventually loses it and starts snapping at him, and there's no stopping them. I really feel like they'll ruin their relationship for good if this doesn't stop soon, but I don't know what to do. Am I seeing things worse than they are? Any advice for what else I can do to get them both to behave better? </p>