https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 30 Apr 2026 02:38:22 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-of-2-boys-and-no-girls#post-1590570 Thu, 24 Apr 2014 18:52:55 +0000 .twist. 1590570@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@autumnlove: *hugs* I still do. :bummed: </p> <p>@sorrycharlie: *hugs*!!</p> <p> @wonderstruck: haha aaaaw. Your mom is cute. If it helps, I didn't have a good relationship with my mom until recently, but I still wanted a daughter, so I don't think it would have made a difference! ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-of-2-boys-and-no-girls#post-1589442 Thu, 24 Apr 2014 13:16:02 +0000 Fronkinzankinsbride 1589442@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sorrycharlie: haha not random or creepy. I know its impossible for me to know based on our intuition but since it's not my obvious preference I am just going to assume we are definitely having boys so if it ends up coming out a boy (we'll be team green) it will be exactly what I expected and if it comes out a girl I won't be disappointed either way. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-of-2-boys-and-no-girls#post-1589105 Thu, 24 Apr 2014 12:02:40 +0000 leelee 1589105@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@autumnlove: this! I was convinced both of my girls were boys! I definitely had a period of disbelief after the tech told us #2 was a girl. We are so excited to give DD a sister. At the time my DH said we were done at 2 so I was really hoping for a boy to be his mini-me. It was fustrating telling people that we were having another girl, the general consensus was that we needed to have another so we can have our boy instead of being excited for us. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-of-2-boys-and-no-girls#post-1589090 Thu, 24 Apr 2014 11:59:55 +0000 autumnlove 1589090@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@.twist.: hugs! I felt so ashamed about my feelings. :-( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-of-2-boys-and-no-girls#post-1589086 Thu, 24 Apr 2014 11:59:04 +0000 skipra 1589086@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are expecting our second boy. I had a feeling all along but still had a moment of disappointment when we found out. Then I thought about having a teenage daughter and everything seemed much better :wink: Really though I can't imagine loving my son any more if he were a girl and know I will feel the same way once I meet our second. Plus I am excited for them to grow up *hopefully* as best friends which I'm not sure would happen with one of each.<br /> And similar to you, we are hearing a lot of talk about trying again for a girl or asking if we're disappointed,etc. It's really rude! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-of-2-boys-and-no-girls#post-1589063 Thu, 24 Apr 2014 11:53:50 +0000 sunshineandsushi 1589063@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have twin sons and we're not planning to try for a third. It does make me a little sad now to think I won't have a daughter, even though I was hoping for two boys from the start. </p> <p>I think the thing that helps me is knowing how close my boys will be growing up. Now granted, they're twins, but I think that siblings of the same sex tend to or have a greater potential to have a closeness that isn't the same as opposite sex siblings. DH and I both only have siblings of the opposite sex, so we're excited to see how they bond and grow up together. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-of-2-boys-and-no-girls#post-1589036 Thu, 24 Apr 2014 11:49:04 +0000 sorrycharlie 1589036@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>also, do not feel like a bad mom for having those thoughts. I'm already worrying about sex for baby #2, that isn't conceived yet, and felt awful for it. but a lot of other moms related to it and I realized it's MUCH more common than we think!</p> <p>@.twist.: "because "what good parent is disappointed with any baby placed in their arms"." - exactly. i feel guilty all the time for having a preference for #2! but, it is what it is. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-of-2-boys-and-no-girls#post-1589029 Thu, 24 Apr 2014 11:47:50 +0000 sorrycharlie 1589029@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Fronkinzankinsbride: I apologize for being random and a little creepy, but my husband is one of three boys and his brother had a boy, too. I was convinced we'd have boys, and have a girl :) so you never know! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-of-2-boys-and-no-girls#post-1589004 Thu, 24 Apr 2014 11:42:58 +0000 Fronkinzankinsbride 1589004@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I feel you. We don't have any yet but we are definitely only having two and I'm totally convinced that we are going to have boys. Even our donor (who is 1 of 5 boys) mentioned that he had a feeling be was going to make boys. I worry about everything from not having male role models and not being able to relate to boys. </p> <p>The hypothetical can be really scary. But I do think its important to remember that personalities are not defined by gender. You can have boys that you get along with great and girls that are difficult. You can't determine the future simply by their sex assignment at birth. </p> <p>I always find comfort thinking about the sweet relationship brothers can have. I've helped raise 3 boys as a nanny and they've all been such lovely people. And they've all loved their momma fiercely.</p> <p>Don't feel guilty for having feelings. Try to focus on the positive. (not by focusing the negative aspects of girls.) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-of-2-boys-and-no-girls#post-1588867 Thu, 24 Apr 2014 11:14:39 +0000 wonderstruck 1588867@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@beaker: That is sweet - I think it's harder for me because it seems like everyone I know has all girls or one of each! I've never really got to witness a sweet brotherly bond, although obviously I will once the baby is here!</p> <p>@.twist.: Oh man, I'm sorry. That would be even tougher having two step-sons in addition to it, and it certainly doesn't make you a horrible person. I am pretty choked up about it today - my mom apologized, she was like, "I feel bad because if you and I didn't have such a good relationship you might not be so sad!" LOL, she's right.</p> <p>@lovehoneybee: My sister-in-law is due with her second the month before me - she's Team Green basically because she already has a boy and fears having a reaction like this. She was a little bit bummed that I'm having a boy because she said the pressure would've been a bit less for her if she knew that she had a niece on the way. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-of-2-boys-and-no-girls#post-1588853 Thu, 24 Apr 2014 11:12:35 +0000 californiadreams 1588853@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i can relate even though i just have one boy at the moment and am still in the phase of holding out hope for his little sister! If it doesn't turn out that way, i know i will feel the same as you. </p> <p>Although i have found that since having a boy, the idea of having another one doesn't seem as "bad" (for lack of a better word) as before. This litle boy has turned out to be the best thing that has ever happened to me, i can only imagine his brother would be equally amazing. so that makes the idea seem more "okay" than before i had a boy at all. but i know that girl-desire is still in me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-of-2-boys-and-no-girls#post-1588771 Thu, 24 Apr 2014 10:52:40 +0000 .twist. 1588771@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Well, I relate to this on so many levels. I'm so sorry you feel this way because I know how you feel and it's really terrible. Most of the terribleness comes from the fact that you feel like you can't talk about it with anyone, because "what good parent is disappointed with any baby placed in their arms". Which I have heard more than once and it really tears me up inside because I definitely think I'm a good mom and I definitely wasn't disappointed with my son. He is probably the best thing that has ever happened to me. </p> <p>But I have always pictured myself with a girl, and I was terrified of not being able to bond with a boy. Like you, though, those concerns left once my son was with me. </p> <p>We have 3 boys, having another child is very very unlikely for us, so I am very close to never being able to experience that mother/daughter relationship. Even if I do eventually decide to get pregnant again, my chances for a boy are obviously 50/50 and very likely. </p> <p>The worst part, I guess, is that our other two boys are not mine by blood, so I may never get to experience pregnancy or any of it ever again, which is also saddening for me. </p> <p>Anyway, I have no advice, just commiseration. I'm kind of still waiting to get over the fact that I would love a daughter, and I feel guilty and choke up about it every time I feel that way. I just feel like such a horrible person. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-of-2-boys-and-no-girls#post-1588674 Thu, 24 Apr 2014 10:22:02 +0000 Mrs. Tiger 1588674@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was pretty sad initially. Actually something random that made me feel so much better... One of my DH's good friends got married, and his older brother gave the absolute sweetest speech/toast, and I started crying - not for being emotional about the wedding, but hoping my boys would grow to be such good friends and supporters of each other.</p> <p>Once #2 shows up it'll get easier. I also love seeing DS2 wear all of DS1's old clothes, silly but nice :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-of-2-boys-and-no-girls#post-1588362 Thu, 24 Apr 2014 09:15:59 +0000 lovehoneybee 1588362@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I only have one boy so far, so I don't have any personal experience. But I'm sure if we have another LO and it's a boy I'll definitely have some disappointment, AND have to deal with the family's disappointment since it would be the last shot for a girl to be born into the family for this generation (we haven't had one in...almost 77 years!) </p> <p>But I can say that both of my sisters-in-law desperately wanted at least one girl, and they both got two boys. They love it now (even though they're pulling for me to have a girl so they can buy all of the girl stuff). They love the close relationships their boys have, and love being "the queen" in the house. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-of-2-boys-and-no-girls#post-1588248 Thu, 24 Apr 2014 08:53:19 +0000 wonderstruck 1588248@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks everyone, it's always nice not feeling so alone in this! I'm sure I do just need time to adjust to the idea. I thought I had prepared myself for it - my DH and I pretty much focused on boy names and nursery ideas and such and tried to expect it to be a boy...but in the end I don't think it really made the reality of it any easier!</p> <p>I'm dreading telling people it's another boy - DH's extended relatives are super insensitive, when we announced with our DS people were commenting on facebook saying stuff like, "Too bad, you guys need some girls!" This was only the second grandchild, and yeah, both are boys...but really? So I know I'm in for some obnoxious and thoughtless comments, and tons of people asking if we'll try again for a girl (even though I've never told anyone besides my DH and my mom that I want a girl, they just assume.) DH mentioned maybe trying again at some point, but realistically...we've always talked about having one or two kids. With our finances and the things I'd like to do with my children and be able to do for them, more than two would be a strain. And I don't really feel like we should try for a third unless we just want another child, I don't now if wanting a girl is really a good enough reason :bummed: But obviously it's too soon to make any permanent decisions. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-of-2-boys-and-no-girls#post-1588181 Thu, 24 Apr 2014 08:36:43 +0000 cmomma17 1588181@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think these are totally normal feelings!</p> <p>I had VERY strong feelings about wanting a daughter and dealt with some brief disappointment when LO was a boy. However, since having him, he is my world and now I feel like I'm meant to be a boy mom! I love him so much that I can't imagine life without him (as I'm sure all moms feel about all LO's). I say now that I don't care if I have a daughter, that I'd love to have two boys! HOWEVER, I'm willing to bet that will change when/if I get pregnant with another boy!<br /> Like you, my whole life I imagined being a mom to girls! I will grieve it as a loss if I do not get to experience being a mother to a daughter and I think that is okay. My MIL had only boys and now she treats me like the daughter she never had, and she also has a handful of beautiful granddaughters (not exactly the same I know, but she's had a wonderful life as a mom to boys!). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-of-2-boys-and-no-girls#post-1588146 Thu, 24 Apr 2014 08:26:17 +0000 Mamasig 1588146@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it's a normal feeling. I have a boy and am pregnant with another boy. I was SURE this was a girl because my pregnancies were so different. I was disappointed for a minute, but then couldn't stop imagining two little boys running around. I pray every day for them to be best friends and good to each other. I'm so excited to be giving DS a little brother. </p> <p>We want a 3rd and I am hoping it's a girl. We'll see. I'm sure I'll be sad for a bit if we do have another boy. But then we'll get used to that idea and it will be fine.</p> <p>I think you just need time to get used to the idea! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-of-2-boys-and-no-girls#post-1588086 Thu, 24 Apr 2014 08:10:12 +0000 Weagle 1588086@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have one DD and will find out the sex of #2 in a couple of weeks. I've always imagined having a little boy, and I know I'll be so sad for a while if #2 is a girl. I will definitely love her, and she will be amazing, but I really hope to have a son someday. I feel awful admitting it. We've also been discussing whether or not to TTC for #3+ or adopt, and I think I'll want to TTC again if #2 is a girl. I think DH is thinking that he won't want to. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-of-2-boys-and-no-girls#post-1588068 Thu, 24 Apr 2014 08:03:06 +0000 Trailmix 1588068@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I totally understand, I am lucky to have one of each but I would've been devastated if I didn't end up with a daughter (was secretly hoping for two girls but at least this way DH is happy since he got his boy.)</p> <p>But, i think the wonderful thing about having two boys is the potential for the relationship between the two of them! Brothers! DH has a brother and they are very close and got into all sorts of hijinks as kids together. So even though it's not quite ideal for you, the positive potential for your kids is so great! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-of-2-boys-and-no-girls#post-1588057 Thu, 24 Apr 2014 07:57:36 +0000 mrsmate 1588057@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I totally know how you feel. I do not have a good relationship with my mother, so I always pictured myself having boys. Well, I ended up with 2 DDs, and I felt guilty about having gender disappointment. Now that DD2 is 16wks, I love both my girls so much I am nudging myself closer to 2 and thru (I previously wanted 3). We needed IUI w/injectables for DD2 and I know I don't want to do that again for a 3rd DD. It's like anything in life, you deal with the hand you're dealt and then you move on. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-of-2-boys-and-no-girls#post-1588043 Thu, 24 Apr 2014 07:50:55 +0000 littlek 1588043@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH is really hoping this LO is a girl so when we decide if we want a 3rd, it's because we want a 3rd, not because we are just trying for a girl. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-of-2-boys-and-no-girls#post-1588017 Thu, 24 Apr 2014 07:31:48 +0000 autumnlove 1588017@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I understand but I have two girls and I cried both times when we found out. :-( I "grieved" for a couple of days before I got excited about having 2 girls. </p> <p>Hugs! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-of-2-boys-and-no-girls#post-1587937 Thu, 24 Apr 2014 06:34:23 +0000 bushelandapeck 1587937@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have one DS and #2 on the way. Is be lying if I said I wasn't hoping for a girl...but I am mentally preparing myself for another boy just in case. I obviously love my son more than anything in the world now, but it was hard for a little while when we first found out. So, no advice but please know you aren't alone with those feelings. Hugs </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-of-2-boys-and-no-girls#post-1587936 Thu, 24 Apr 2014 06:34:16 +0000 Adira 1587936@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm worried about this too. I have one boy and am currently pregnant with #2. I'm trying to tell myself that I'll be happy no matter what sex this baby is, but I know I'll be a little disappointed if I have another boy. MAINLY because I feel like daughters tend to be MORE LIKELY to stay close to their mothers in adulthood, whereas boys are less likely too. I'm worried about having two boys and having them grow up and not need me anymore and not have that bond, like what I have with my own mother... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-of-2-boys-and-no-girls#post-1587916 Thu, 24 Apr 2014 06:16:38 +0000 Aimed 1587916@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have a boy an we aren't sure we are going to go for #2 and even if we do who knows so I have a few things that I remind myself of when I get the little girl longing! I love being able to say 'my boys' when talking about my husband and son, I like that my son won't have to go through the girly bitchiness and bullying that goes on and seems to be starting ever younger - I know it happens to boys as well but girls seem to suffer more in this respect:( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-of-2-boys-and-no-girls#post-1587900 Thu, 24 Apr 2014 06:00:43 +0000 ValentineMommy 1587900@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I only have 1DS thus far, and we are TTC #2, but I have a HUGE anxiety producing fear that I'm going to end up with all boys. I can't say I totally understand, as I'm not there yet, but I can definitely sympathize. Hugs! Everything happens for a reason, at least that's what I tell myself. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-of-2-boys-and-no-girls#post-1587893 Thu, 24 Apr 2014 05:54:16 +0000 Dandelion 1587893@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was a little sad when I found out M was a boy. Mainly cause I had just lost a girl and it just made it feel more like I really lost her.</p> <p>But, M is here and he's adorable and I love him so much. I have zero resentment about him being a boy. I got over the boy thing long before I delivered him and I was super excited to meet him. After losing a baby, you really just learn to be thrilled with a healthy baby. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-of-2-boys-and-no-girls#post-1587882 Thu, 24 Apr 2014 05:42:58 +0000 oscarthegoon 1587882@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i understand. my eyes filled with tears at the ultrasound when i found out LO #2 was also a boy. i felt guilty but i couldn't help it. i had even bought a few baby girl clothes when i found out i was pregnant again. i love my boys more than anything in the world but i really wanted a girl and three kids is not in the cards for me. i remind myself how fortunate i am to have two healthy kids. and boys are awfully fun :happy: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-of-2-boys-and-no-girls#post-1587838 Thu, 24 Apr 2014 04:38:39 +0000 MrsRcCar 1587838@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@wonderstruck: I know how you feel. I have two amazing little boys (18 months and 2 months). I have always pictured myself with a little girl. My mum and I have such a wonderful bond. My husband and I have set a limit of 4 kids. I have always said I want 4 no questions but if our next is a girl I think we are done. Ds#2 was a preemie and that scared Dh and I. Dh would be ok if we didn't have anymore, but said it was up to me because he knows that I long for a little girl.<br /> So I guess no advice,but I do understand the feeling. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-of-2-boys-and-no-girls#post-1587822 Thu, 24 Apr 2014 03:30:39 +0000 wonderstruck 1587822@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't really know what I'm looking for here, just hopefully some people who will understand, or who can say good things about your boys even if you don't really understand.</p> <p>I know it's stupid to try to have any expectations over this sort of thing, but I always pictured myself as a mom to girls. When I found out my first was a boy I had some disappointment and worries about relating to and connecting with him - of course, those fears turned out to be totally unfounded, he's amazing and I wouldn't trade him for the world! But I guess I was holding out hope for a little sister someday and, well...you can probably see where I'm going with this. Just had an ultrasound for #2 and found out I'm expecting another little boy. I know I'll love him just as much as I do my son, but two kids is our limit, so this means I'm never going to have a daughter...and I'm struggling with that more than I'd like to admit. Feeling awful about that because I know I'm so lucky to have two healthy babies, but I'm pretty sad about knowing I'll never get to experience the other side of a mother/daughter relationship.</p> <p>What helped if you've been in this situation? Is it easier once the second LO arrives? DH was kinda bummed too but quickly got over it (we just found out today) and is sure it will be fine. I'm more worried that on some level I'm always going to wish I'd had a daughter at some point. Is that totally ridiculous? I kind of hate myself for this post. </p>