https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 20 Apr 2026 17:40:23 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-of-2-or-more-maternity-leave-or-sam-with-both-babes#post-2081471 Mon, 23 Feb 2015 11:17:10 +0000 hilary 2081471@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm currently on maternity leave with a 2 year old and 7 week old twins. DH is normally gone from 7:45-6. And my toddler goes to a sitter until noon 1 day a week. It's like anything else though...depends on the day. Some days the toddler is happy playing mostly on her own and others she is super needy and wants held all the time. And some days the twins sinc up naps and are happy rotating between swing, playmat and carrier. Other days they rotate who is crying just to torture me. Having help at least 1 day a week is priceless. However, I'd recommend having the helper do as much of the infant care as possible while you spend quality time with your older LO. Investing in some quality time that's just them goes a long way in terms of their behavior (at least in my experience). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-of-2-or-more-maternity-leave-or-sam-with-both-babes#post-2081158 Sun, 22 Feb 2015 22:50:16 +0000 skipra 2081158@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: I SAH and mine are 20 months apart. I was so nervous before the baby was born but it hasn't been as difficult as I expected. I think the most challenging was when LO1 decided it was time to potty train at 23 months and he always had to poop while I was breastfeeding. But we got through that! What has worked really well for us is having DH take both boys while he gets ready for work. I get to sleep in which help make up for any motn wake ups. Also from day 1 we had family nap time. I put the baby in the swing while I got LO1 down for a nap and then I could nap too. Some days are hard and there were definitely tears when I felt overwhelmed in the beginning. but for the most part the days just fly by. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-of-2-or-more-maternity-leave-or-sam-with-both-babes#post-2081053 Sun, 22 Feb 2015 21:00:33 +0000 blackbird 2081053@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: ah gotcha! Well crap then :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-of-2-or-more-maternity-leave-or-sam-with-both-babes#post-2081013 Sun, 22 Feb 2015 20:18:21 +0000 Anagram 2081013@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@blackbird: Well, I'm not due until Aug 19th, so school will be starting back by the time I need help....</p> <p>I just hired a high school babysitter this past weekend for date nights, and she's nice, but would only be available after school and weekends.</p> <p>I really need someone at least on Tuesdays and Thursdays during the day because that's when my local new mom's groups are, and that was such a lifesaver for me last time. It's so nice to just get together with other women who are going through the same things at the same time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-of-2-or-more-maternity-leave-or-sam-with-both-babes#post-2081001 Sun, 22 Feb 2015 20:07:13 +0000 blackbird 2081001@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: what if you hired a mothers helper? A responsible older teen in the neighborhood for about $10/hour? Or not so much where you live? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-of-2-or-more-maternity-leave-or-sam-with-both-babes#post-2080954 Sun, 22 Feb 2015 19:17:54 +0000 Anagram 2080954@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ShootingStar: yup. They already knew LO #1 wouldn't be in daycare over the summer and they are fine with it. They have a LOT of teacher's kids (the have a deal that public employees get 10% off tuition). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-of-2-or-more-maternity-leave-or-sam-with-both-babes#post-2080950 Sun, 22 Feb 2015 19:13:41 +0000 ShootingStar 2080950@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: will your daycare let you take an unpaid break like that? Most daycare around here won't save your spot for you :-/. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-of-2-or-more-maternity-leave-or-sam-with-both-babes#post-2080908 Sun, 22 Feb 2015 18:09:39 +0000 Anagram 2080908@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@gingerbebe: yeah, I EPd with LO #1, and it was definitely challenging with just 1. Getting someone even 15 hours a week around here would be $900/month, so it's still really, really pricey.</p> <p>Butttttt.....I just feel like I'm going to need the help. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-of-2-or-more-maternity-leave-or-sam-with-both-babes#post-2080812 Sun, 22 Feb 2015 16:17:55 +0000 gingerbebe 2080812@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't have two kids but I think a lot of this has to do with your newborn. I knew my mom was staying for 3 weeks but my son had severe reflux and colic and was screaming nonstop and never slept. I didn't catch a break or sleep for more than 2 hours at a stretch for three months - and had PPD/PPA and was a hot mess. And we had to EP for latch issues and finding time to pump was insane. My DH works long hours and has a 150 mile commute round trip. After my umpteenth anxiety attack DH was like hire whoever or whatever you need because we won't survive the 4 month regression this way. Now I have help 3 days a week and it's a lifesaver. I cannot imagine how I could have handled a another at the same time. I would say line up help and if it ends up being doable then let the helper go. DH is wayyyy happier knowing I have help and I get more stuff done and I'm more rested and he thinks it's worth every penny. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-of-2-or-more-maternity-leave-or-sam-with-both-babes#post-2080775 Sun, 22 Feb 2015 15:29:26 +0000 blackbird 2080775@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm stressed out for you LOL. Mine will be 25 months apart-E is 22 months now and if she were home and we could swing it, I would totally hire someone to walk her to the park up the street and play with her outside to burn off some energy. It won't cost as much as daycare but will help you both out. If your LO is used to daycare, being home all day every day is a recipe for stir craziness! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-of-2-or-more-maternity-leave-or-sam-with-both-babes#post-2080689 Sun, 22 Feb 2015 14:43:07 +0000 Anagram 2080689@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Tiger: that's what I'm thinking! LO really loves daycare so I would feel guilty having her home most of the day without friends to play with, so I was thinking even 15 hours a week of help would allow me to take LO 1 to story time, or a class, or the park. Or on other days, the babysitter could take LO 1 out, while I chill at home with the newborn. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-of-2-or-more-maternity-leave-or-sam-with-both-babes#post-2080675 Sun, 22 Feb 2015 14:34:27 +0000 Mrs. Tiger 2080675@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had a lot of help, my MIL would often come take my older one for a few hours so the baby could sleep peacefully and maybe I could accomplish something. If you're pumping it's very hard to entertain everyone. </p> <p>So, if you can swing some help a few hours a week that would be good! The person could stay with the baby while you take the older one to the grocery store, or entertain the older one while you sleep with the baby, etc. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-of-2-or-more-maternity-leave-or-sam-with-both-babes#post-2080671 Sun, 22 Feb 2015 14:33:43 +0000 oliviaoblivia 2080671@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm home now with my seven week old and 25 month old.<br /> Getting out of the house is tricky, a lot of that has to do with the cold though.<br /> DD1 is very independent and happy to color on her own while I nurse. She has gotten more screen time than I'd like, but I'm starting to not really need that crutch anymore.<br /> DD2 is a very easy baby and actually prefers napping in the swing to napping in my arms.<br /> I was working last year so DD1 was used to only having me around for breakfast, dinner, and bedtime. Now she has all morning while DD2 naps. She actually gets more attention now than she had been.<br /> DH leaves for work at nine and gets her breakfast after she gets up at eight. At that time I'm nursing or snoozing with DD2.<br /> Honestly there are really difficult moments, but I'd say 90% of my day is easier than I imagined it would be. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-of-2-or-more-maternity-leave-or-sam-with-both-babes#post-2080663 Sun, 22 Feb 2015 14:30:55 +0000 MapleMoose 2080663@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I recently became SAH when DD2 was born, used to be SAH/part-time WAH. DD1 is 16 months and DD2 is one month old. DH works out of the house 10-14 hours a day. Surprisingly things have been a lot easier than I expected. I was worried about this while I was pregnant with #2. But DD1 has been eager to "help" care for her sister and she's too young to be jealous. I keep DD1 busy while I'm pumping or feeding DD2 by reading books to her, asking her to feed/diaper her baby doll, or getting out the busy bags and special occasion toys to distract her. And DD1 gets to watch Curious George or Daniel Tiger if need be. I'm more lenient with screen time if it means avoiding a meltdown. I'm looking forward to spring when the snow melts and it warms up so we can play outside and go for walks. But we are making the best of it and staying busy inside. Sure, there are times when they are both screaming during the evening witching hour and I'm cursing DH for not being home to help but we always get through it and I get all the sweet snuggles which makes it all better. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-of-2-or-more-maternity-leave-or-sam-with-both-babes#post-2080654 Sun, 22 Feb 2015 14:27:29 +0000 wonderstruck 2080654@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: Our husbands sound a lot alike, haha! I'd frame it as a compromise - you're saving money by not keeping your toddler in her normal daycare during your maternity leave, but spending some to save your sanity and make your maternity leave more of the bonding experience it should be. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-of-2-or-more-maternity-leave-or-sam-with-both-babes#post-2080650 Sun, 22 Feb 2015 14:23:40 +0000 Anagram 2080650@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@keepcalmcarrie: @wonderstruck: LO #1 will be 25 months when LO 2 is born. </p> <p>We have days now where I pick up LO from daycare and the last couple of hours with her while I make dinner, feed her, do bath time, etc--some days her tantrums are non stop and it's already semi challenging with just her! So now I imagine that happening all day, although typically she's pretty easy. Those are just worst case scenarios.</p> <p>My husband is always about the bottom line (money) so he thinks hiring some help is unnecessary, but unless he wants me calling h at work when I'm stressed at home, I'm thinking it's a good idea. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-of-2-or-more-maternity-leave-or-sam-with-both-babes#post-2080632 Sun, 22 Feb 2015 14:01:46 +0000 wonderstruck 2080632@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Doable? Yes. Enjoyable where you won't be pulling your hair out? Um....well...you'll get there! Some days. Other days, not so much. If you want brutal honestly, the first three months were really tough on me - the negatives were that baby was waking up frequently at night to eat, but my toddler was still waking up at 7am ready to start the day. Every time I was breastfeeding my toddler would suddenly want my full attention. Their naps never seemed to overlap. I wasn't healing well from my c-section. It wasn't until close to four months when things started to become exponentially easier. </p> <p>If hiring someone part-time to help out is something you can afford, I would highly recommend it. The one good thing I do remember thinking is how much easier a newborn seems once you already have a toddler - when my first was born, having a newborn was pretty tough. But the second time around I was saying, "OMG, how did this ever seem difficult? All he does is sleep and eat!" But throw taking care of your toddler into the mix and things get tricky.</p> <p>A lot of this does probably depend on your specific toddler and the age gap though, mine weren't quite a year and a half apart. And my DH also works really long hours, he leaves the house at 7:30 and gets home a bit after 6:30. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-of-2-or-more-maternity-leave-or-sam-with-both-babes#post-2080585 Sun, 22 Feb 2015 12:30:54 +0000 keepcalmcarrie 2080585@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I SAH with both kids - the older is 23 months and the new one is 6 weeks. My DH usually leaves for work between 7:30-8, and gets back by 5 (very short commute, thank God). I have to shower before him if I want to get one during the day, so I get up around 6:30, shower, feed the baby, get breakfast for LO1, turn on the news and eat my breakfast while he plays with his toys, feed the baby again, change diapers, turn on PBSKids, make lunch for LO1, feed the baby again, take LO1 upstairs for his nap, come downstairs and try to get the baby to sleep on me so I can nap too. Rinse and repeat in the afternoon. I change A LOT of diapers right now.</p> <p>I won't lie - some days it is pretty tough. LO1 gets too much screen time right now. I try to have the baby in the baby carrier a lot so I'm still free to play, read books, have lunch with the toddler etc. Sometimes he is somewhat ignored though, which is sad but I also think is good for him in a way. He absolutely loves the baby so, at least at this point, there isn't any jealousy there.</p> <p>I think your LO1 might benefit from having someone come to your house for a few hours each day, at least in the beginning. My mom stayed with us for 3 weeks after H was born, and I really cannot imagine doing it totally on my own. That being said, most days are pretty good and I think it's doable. How old will your LO1 be? If mine was older I think it might be a little less challenging. Also, the span of time you're talking about (Aug-Dec) is a nice time of year to be "off" - go to the park, on walks, run errands etc. We are currently stuck inside because of subzero temps and flu season, so my poor toddler is stir crazy (as am I). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-of-2-or-more-maternity-leave-or-sam-with-both-babes#post-2080576 Sun, 22 Feb 2015 12:15:40 +0000 Anagram 2080576@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Moms with two young kids at home, and the older one does not go to daycare or preschool.... And especially if you have no family around to help..</p> <p>What's it like the second time around? Is it much more taxing with two (and you never get to rest because the two babies have opposite schedules?).</p> <p>What's a typical day like? When does your SO leave and return from work?</p> <p>Our daycare is really far from home--50 minutes driving. So LO #1won't be going while I'm on Maternity leave Aug-mid December. Both my own sister and SIL kept their older kids in full time daycare while on maternity leave with #2, so I'm trying to decide between keeping both kids with me or maybe hiring some part time help for 15-20 hours a week to entertain the older LO while I am with the baby. Or if it's doable/enjoyable (I won't want to tear my hair out) to have both at home with me. I mainly worry about my older not being stimulated enough and being ignored a lot, and that makes me sad. My husband leaves at 8 and is rarely home before 7, often later. </p>