Hellobee Boards Topic: Moms of onlies - did you always know or did you have to come to terms with it?

Hellobee Boards Topic: Moms of onlies - did you always know or did you have to come to terms with it? https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 24 Apr 2026 16:12:17 +0000 mediagirl on "Moms of onlies - did you always know or did you have to come to terms with it?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-of-onlies-did-you-always-know-or-did-you-have-to-come-to-terms-with-it#post-2447411 Wed, 03 Feb 2016 09:58:17 +0000 mediagirl 2447411@https://boards.hellobee.com/ A few people have mentioned this, as well - 10 weeks is so early. People change their minds. There have been a lot of HB'ers who have changed their minds after having their first and decided to go for a second. It has to be a mutual decision, though. yoursilverlining on "Moms of onlies - did you always know or did you have to come to terms with it?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-of-onlies-did-you-always-know-or-did-you-have-to-come-to-terms-with-it#post-2447404 Wed, 03 Feb 2016 09:55:08 +0000 yoursilverlining 2447404@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @RLCeigh: Our LO calls our cat her sister, just like your son does with the dog :heart: RLCeigh on "Moms of onlies - did you always know or did you have to come to terms with it?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-of-onlies-did-you-always-know-or-did-you-have-to-come-to-terms-with-it#post-2447361 Wed, 03 Feb 2016 09:32:48 +0000 RLCeigh 2447361@https://boards.hellobee.com/ We have one LO and he's 4-- we did try for a second for awhile but it didn't work. We're older (I'm 41) and then it just started to feel that we are complete with our family of 3 plus our very loved doggie. Thinking about the financial aspect, we can do so much more and we both have careers we love and no family close by that helps out. So we settled into having only one and now I feel complete and happy. My son is amazing and he calls our dog his brother (even in pre-school drawings we are a family of 4) so he may disagree that he is an onlie :) JenGirl on "Moms of onlies - did you always know or did you have to come to terms with it?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-of-onlies-did-you-always-know-or-did-you-have-to-come-to-terms-with-it#post-2447359 Wed, 03 Feb 2016 09:32:41 +0000 JenGirl 2447359@https://boards.hellobee.com/ My husband has always wanted 2-3 kids. I wasn't even sure I wanted any kids. We compromised on 1. Now that my son is 4 months, I've gone from 95% sure I'm one and done to 80% sure. So my son will probably be an only but we're not setting anything in stone just yet. I love babies and have enjoyed pregnancy and the newborn phase far more than I anticipated. But it's always been the exhausting toddler stage that scares me, so I tell myself that if I really want another after I've lived through having a toddler, then I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. But I'm not getting any younger, so I don't think I'll want to get pregnant again too much later. So, all that to say, I get the reevaluating after you have a baby. And who knows what will happen. But I know I'll be happy if my son is an only. I was an only and it was great. But if we decide to try for another, that's okay too. Littlebit7 on "Moms of onlies - did you always know or did you have to come to terms with it?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-of-onlies-did-you-always-know-or-did-you-have-to-come-to-terms-with-it#post-2447328 Wed, 03 Feb 2016 09:20:52 +0000 Littlebit7 2447328@https://boards.hellobee.com/ My LO is 10 months old. I'd say I'm a 50-50 split to wanting another one. The only reason I'd want another is to give LO a sibling. I myself don't feel an urge to have another baby for myself. Our circumstances dictate our decision We'd have to move to a new apartment. We'd have to pay for two in private schools. (publics where we are are terrible with a capital T. Like legit crazy terrible) DH travels a ton, we have no family within 8 hours, and I'd basicsically solo m-f with two babies. Maybe if we lived in the burbs and DH worked a predictable 9-5 job and we had family close by it would be a different story. But we don't and it's not going to change. But I think I will always struggle with it. yoursilverlining on "Moms of onlies - did you always know or did you have to come to terms with it?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-of-onlies-did-you-always-know-or-did-you-have-to-come-to-terms-with-it#post-2447326 Wed, 03 Feb 2016 09:19:29 +0000 yoursilverlining 2447326@https://boards.hellobee.com/ LO is an only and it’s always been an easy decision for both of us. I have never felt my bio clock ticking, I’ve never felt the need to have a child. DH and I didn’t get married to have children and we felt happy and fulfilled without children. Having LO has been the best ever, but it doesn’t make us want to have more. We are a family with just her. A few months ago, DH was starting to give subtle hints that his position might have been changing, which was hard for me because mine wasn’t/isn’t. We talked through things, but tried to do so without a lot of pressure – which was easier since he didn’t really want another. One thing I will say is that I don’t think you should worry about this now. Your LO is still brand new, your hormones are still fluctuating, which can impact “wanting” another baby. (A true want vs. a chemical response want). Although we were firm about being one and done before we had LO, we also agreed not to make any decisions before she was at least 1 years old, because so much can happen and change in that first year. I would just try not to stress now, but discuss reevaluating maybe at 1 year. ModernDayJibarita on "Moms of onlies - did you always know or did you have to come to terms with it?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-of-onlies-did-you-always-know-or-did-you-have-to-come-to-terms-with-it#post-2447310 Wed, 03 Feb 2016 09:09:29 +0000 ModernDayJibarita 2447310@https://boards.hellobee.com/ We have always planned on being one and done. I'm giving myself space in case parenthood changes us so completely that we no longer care about traveling, vacations and climbing the corporate ladder. We decided we would re visit the conversation when baby turns 2.5 because though while we might reconsider having more kids we are CERTAIN we do not want them to be close together. JoJoGirl on "Moms of onlies - did you always know or did you have to come to terms with it?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-of-onlies-did-you-always-know-or-did-you-have-to-come-to-terms-with-it#post-2447270 Wed, 03 Feb 2016 08:34:27 +0000 JoJoGirl 2447270@https://boards.hellobee.com/ 10 weeks! Oh my goodness - *nothing* is set in stone. We weren't ready to start thinking about another until LO was 2. Staying with one is okay, changing your mind is okay too - but now is definitely not the time to be making any decisions. mediagirl on "Moms of onlies - did you always know or did you have to come to terms with it?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-of-onlies-did-you-always-know-or-did-you-have-to-come-to-terms-with-it#post-2447268 Wed, 03 Feb 2016 08:34:07 +0000 mediagirl 2447268@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I'm always going to have mixed feelings about it. I just don't know if I can handle two, to be honest. He doesn't think we can afford another. I don't know if I could handle both of us working full time outside the home and all the school/activity schedules. *shrug* It is what it is. Off topic but this is something that I thought about on that thread about what you see on HB that you don't see in real life. I know SO MANY PEOPLE with just one kid in real life. So many more than on HB. It's a nice feeling. :) cam on "Moms of onlies - did you always know or did you have to come to terms with it?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-of-onlies-did-you-always-know-or-did-you-have-to-come-to-terms-with-it#post-2447248 Wed, 03 Feb 2016 08:17:33 +0000 cam 2447248@https://boards.hellobee.com/ We plan to try for another, but will still be fine if it doesn't work out and we just have one. However, if you has asked either of us at 10 weeks if we wanted another the answer would have been a definitive NO. So I guess I'm just saying it's still early and either of your views could still change just with some more time. DillonLion on "Moms of onlies - did you always know or did you have to come to terms with it?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-of-onlies-did-you-always-know-or-did-you-have-to-come-to-terms-with-it#post-2447040 Tue, 02 Feb 2016 22:41:46 +0000 DillonLion 2447040@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I'm an only, but wanted many babies. After having my one, I decided I'm pretty much firmly one and done. The family dynamics feel complete to me, as the mom/dad/kid household is what I grew up with. I knew I wasn't ready for any additional kids when LO was first born, and now that she's 3, my feelings haven't changed in the slightest. I don't want any more kids for a multitude of reasons. I'm very happy with my one child. Mrs Green Grass on "Moms of onlies - did you always know or did you have to come to terms with it?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-of-onlies-did-you-always-know-or-did-you-have-to-come-to-terms-with-it#post-2446993 Tue, 02 Feb 2016 22:13:17 +0000 Mrs Green Grass 2446993@https://boards.hellobee.com/ My period of adjustment happened twice, first when we were engaged and basically compromised on having one. It wasn't what I had envisioned, but I was willing to make the compromise. Then I planned on revisiting it after having LO, but DH was still pretty firm which is ok. I work on the positives of having only one. wrkbrk on "Moms of onlies - did you always know or did you have to come to terms with it?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-of-onlies-did-you-always-know-or-did-you-have-to-come-to-terms-with-it#post-2446945 Tue, 02 Feb 2016 21:06:15 +0000 wrkbrk 2446945@https://boards.hellobee.com/ No dramatic story, really. We always said we would be one and done for a variety of reasons (age, lifestyle, money, what we could offer him if we just had one, preference, etc.). Now, DS is ten weeks old now and I just broached the subject tonight with DW. My feelings *may* have changed but I found out hers definitely have not. :/ I'm sure this is only a temporary feeling for me (?) but I suddenly want all the babies!! Just wondering ... if you only have one child whether the decision was pretty easy for you or whether there was a period of adjustment and if so, how it went. Thanks!!