https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 04 Jul 2026 05:54:39 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-of-three-or-more-kids#post-2412120 Thu, 07 Jan 2016 00:48:25 +0000 birdofafeather 2412120@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>As with other PPs, DH and I grew up in families of 3 kids. We loved it and we plan on 3 as well. </p> <p>1) it's me, brother, then sister. My brother and I are completely different so we've never been close (but still are in contact, just not BFFs) and were each closer to our sister. If my parents had stopped after my brother, who knows how our family dynamic would be! So I'm glad for sibling "options"</p> <p>2) I never felt this way. My parents attended all our events and I spent plenty of time at the baseball fields when my brother was playing to know that my parents didn't jaunt support one of us. My mom was very very involved in all our activities and threw herself into whatever we were into. My brother (middle child) has a chip on his shoulder about this but I truly think it's his issue and my parents gave us what we each needed. It took me awhile to realize the sacrifices our parents made to be there for us/spend QT with each of us. </p> <p>3) sure, more people means bigger table but I'm not going to leave out a dear friend for dinner just because I have to make a reservation or wait another 15 minutes so this is really a non issue for family. </p> <p>4) we fit into one room with a cot or rent houses. We also camped a lot so another person didn't matter! And my parents weren't gonna rent an economy car with 4 seats even if there were only 4 people on vacation so another non issue. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-of-three-or-more-kids#post-2411495 Wed, 06 Jan 2016 14:49:35 +0000 Mama Bird 2411495@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have a cousin and a BIL that have three kids. To me it looks like sometimes one kid does get left out, but it's never the same kid. So it's not too bad, everyone gets some alone time and someone to play with.</p> <p>And when we all go out to eat, we need a big table in any case because there are cousins and grandparents, and even if there were just two kids, there's a lot of us with extended family! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-of-three-or-more-kids#post-2411433 Wed, 06 Jan 2016 14:06:13 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2411433@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@blackbird: @Alivoo01: I actually knew a friend that wanted 3 kids to avoid this. She said you couldn't guarantee you'd be close to your siblings but at least if there are three of you, if you aren't getting along with one, you have another to connect with. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-of-three-or-more-kids#post-2411426 Wed, 06 Jan 2016 14:02:33 +0000 Alivoo01 2411426@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@blackbird: This is me and my brother. We're 4 years apart on the dot (we share the same birth month and day), but we're not close at all! We were raised completely different and that kind of started the wedge between us. Even now, we hardly communicate. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-of-three-or-more-kids#post-2411410 Wed, 06 Jan 2016 13:50:47 +0000 blackbird 2411410@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>-On the flip side, you could have two kids that don't get along at all. You can't really forsee this one. But I'd like to have 4. But who's to say that they'll pair off 2 and 2 perfectly? Meh I feel like this is probably the case throughout your children's lives, no matter the age--that someone feels left out, there's some flux...but also, that's how life is. And it's not a bad thing to learn to be independent. My brother and I were 18 months apart and once I hit a certain age, I didn't want him anywhere near me because boys were yucky and such.. And he wouldn't play Barbies with me. So....one could argue that 2 kid families of boy/girl are ill suited. </p> <p>I dunno, i'm excited about a bigger crazy family :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-of-three-or-more-kids#post-2411377 Wed, 06 Jan 2016 13:40:10 +0000 Mrs D 2411377@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I can answer as one of three children:</p> <p>1) I dont think there was a 2-on-1 approach when we were younger. I will say, as we grew up, I (the youngest) became the pawn that the two olders used. It went back and forth...sometimes I was closer to the older and sometimes the middle - and they would definitely pull the gang up on the other. But again - this is high school age and this is 3 daughters! :shocked: </p> <p>2) I never felt a shred of "lack of attention". That said - I have an amazing mother - amazing. I think what I notice most importantly is that she didnt try to "do it all"...she focused where she could in order to not divide herself too much. She was also a SAHM.</p> <p>3) I dont recall meals being difficult, but we probably only ate out at sit down places once a month - on average.</p> <p>4) I guess this is technically true - as it is one more person to pay for. But really 4 flights vs 5 flights aint that big of a deal - certainly not a deal breaker. And - I think for hotels it just depends on your preferences. We will only be having 2 children - so technically we could all sleep in one room (2 queen beds) - however, DH and I even now with one LO and one on the way, prefer to just get a suite so we can have our own "space" after we put the kids down. So - we already pay for large rooms, and will likely pay for an extra room as the kids are old enough. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-of-three-or-more-kids#post-2411337 Wed, 06 Jan 2016 13:15:00 +0000 HLK208 2411337@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have three small children but yes...vacations are few and far between. We don't have to wait a long time for tables at restaurants yet since our kids don't take up a lot of space...but we also don't go out often since one of the three always acts out. I feel like each child gets a decent amount of attention - my youngest gets one-on-one time while my middle child is at preschool, my middle child gets one-on-one time during my youngest child's nap time and my oldest gets time with me while the other two play together after my oldest gets out of school. It works out!</p> <p>All of that aside, they're all very close. My oldest babies my youngest, my middle child and oldest play together really well. My middle child and youngest are both girls and they tend to want to do my art projects than my son. I don't think anyone feels left out! I couldn't imagine life without my third. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-of-three-or-more-kids#post-2411336 Wed, 06 Jan 2016 13:14:55 +0000 Colette1285 2411336@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm one of three, and I love having two brothers! For us, there was some truth to certain issues:</p> <p>the 2 on 1 dynamic - I feel like we were situated to have a ton of this because my brother and I are twins, so we had the twin pairing or the two boy pairing as natural groups that would leave someone out. Especially when we were late elementary school-aged, my brothers would pal around and not necessarily want a girl breathing down their necks. However, I don't think that was because there were three of us, and I was definitely not emotionally scarred by it haha. That will always happen with siblings, and it was great to always have a buddy if I was fighting with one of the bros. :) We are all very close now.</p> <p>Attention - I don't remember feeling like this was lacking at all. My parents were very hands on and knew what was going on in our lives. This was probably helped by us being very close in age. If anything, we were all too in each other's business - we all did the same high school sport, so we spent a ton of time together.</p> <p>Eating out - This is true haha! I have very vivid memories of being mad that we were waiting longer than other people at ChiChis (RIP ChiChis) because we needed an extra space for the 5th. My mom would occasionally comment that certain things, like amusement park rides and rental cars, were made for families of four. In the scheme of things, this is so not a big deal. I got very used to riding in the middle seat for long road trips with the family dog on my lap - character building! </p> <p>vacations - we didn't take many vacations but when we stayed in hotels, yes, the rollaway bed worked for us. </p> <p>I suspect that the individual relationships and age gaps between the siblings may have more to do with your friends' experience than anything else. I think the activities logistics were really crazy for my parents, but they made it work by encouraging us to be involved in similar activities as we got into high school. My mom and I were actually just talking about this over Christmas. </p> <p>As an adult, I love being one of three. It feels like we are little team in life. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-of-three-or-more-kids#post-2411327 Wed, 06 Jan 2016 13:06:25 +0000 Mrs.KMM 2411327@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I grew up in a family with 3 kids.</p> <p>Sure, there were times when the 3 of us didn't always get along. But there's no guarantee that just having 2 kids will mean that your kids are super close and get along all the time. That is so family and individual specific. And the 3 of us are really close and get along wonderfully now as adults! </p> <p> We never lacked for one on one time or attention from our parents – either as kids or now as adults. They were always extremely involved in our lives! </p> <p> We never had any issues as a family of 5 getting tables at restaurants.</p> <p>And you can totally fit a family of 5 in one hotel room. We did it all the time. All you have to do is get a rollaway bed/cot. </p> <p> Obviously things are more expensive with 3 kids versus 2. You are paying for a whole extra person! But assuming that you feel like you can financially afford to raise 3 kids, I don't think the issues that your friend described are really issues at all. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-of-three-or-more-kids#post-2411325 Wed, 06 Jan 2016 13:03:48 +0000 cat620 2411325@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks for the responses! I know that experiences vary, so maybe hers was more negative than most haha. It's good to hear most people feel positively about 3 kids. </p> <p>@lawbee11: That would be another thing to think about - the activities each child is involved with. If the kids play sports or do other things for fun, I think it could be hard to work out a schedule where you aren't constantly driving kids around and are able to watch your kids and be involved. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-of-three-or-more-kids#post-2411315 Wed, 06 Jan 2016 12:54:52 +0000 snowjewelz 2411315@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I feel like what she's describing, it's more inconvenience and nothing that is going to ruin a child's life... And the cost thing, obviously having more kids = more expenses so it's really just a personal choice. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-of-three-or-more-kids#post-2411308 Wed, 06 Jan 2016 12:52:47 +0000 lawbee11 2411308@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>As a stepmom of three I generally agree with your friend. The waiting for tables at restaurants is totally true...but we eat out regularly. If you don't then that won't be as big of an issue. VRBO has made travel easier because now we just rent houses or condos instead of staying in hotels, but if flights are involved we have to plan pretty far in advance to save up. </p> <p>The other thing is if all 3 are involved in activities (which my stepkids are), the logistics of dropoffs and pickups is really complicated. My DH is always dropping off or picking up and rarely gets to stay to actually watch an entire activity...I know that's really hard on him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-of-three-or-more-kids#post-2411306 Wed, 06 Jan 2016 12:52:04 +0000 Anagram 2411306@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I should say, I am one of 6 kids so 3 still isn't a "large" family to me, haha. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-of-three-or-more-kids#post-2411302 Wed, 06 Jan 2016 12:50:40 +0000 regberadaisy 2411302@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@aprild: I don't have 3 kids but both DH &amp; I are one of 3. </p> <p>DH was closer to his older brother in his younger formative years. In his older adult years he was much closer with the middle brother. His middle brother died suddenly 5 years ago. If he only had one sibling he would be an only child now. So....there's that.</p> <p>I'm the youngest girl with two much older brothers. They're naturally closer growing up because of our big age gap. But we are close now in that I know they have my back.</p> <p>Is the dining issue really a deciding factor for having a third?!? </p> <p>Regardless of 2 or 3 kids I think when they're older we would do adjoining rooms anyway. I don't see why 2 or 4 kids can't all bunk in one room?? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-of-three-or-more-kids#post-2411299 Wed, 06 Jan 2016 12:48:21 +0000 Anagram 2411299@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@aprild: I think maybe some of those things are specific to maybe just HER family? I personally know families where all 3 sibs get along, and where none of the 3 sibs get along, and a 2 vs 1 combination like you describe. That's pretty family specific.</p> <p>3 kids and 2 adults can totally still ride in a standard sized sedan.</p> <p>Flights and anything/everything is undoubtedly more expensive with more kids.</p> <p>You can stay in a hotel will a rollaway bed if you like saving money--my family did my entire life growing up. My brother always got the rollaway.</p> <p>The restaurant thing--that's just small potatoes. The reality for ME is that after having even 1 kid, going out to restaurants was dramatically reduced to to nap and eating schedules and expenses, etc. </p> <p>It's just such a personal decision. I expect that if a family wants 3 kids, none of these things are big enough to deter them. And if a family really wants only 2, then these reasons may convince them they made the best decision for them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-of-three-or-more-kids#post-2411298 Wed, 06 Jan 2016 12:46:59 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2411298@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Can I answer as growing up in part of a 3 kid house? And what I hope to avoid. </p> <p>- 3 kids is an odd number but kids need their own "alone" time too. So if one sibling didn't/couldn't play, there was someone else there. Also, we were spaced out in age so often if it was a younger activity, I (the oldest sibling) didn't really care to play anyways. </p> <p>- Again, we were all spaced out 4 years so it was ok that I didn't need my parents attention full time. Going to college it was kinda nice not having a mom calling for daily check ups (because she still had two kids at home) but she was always there for me when I needed it. </p> <p>- I dont know, we didn't eat out all too often or maybe we just ate at places that had tables. </p> <p>- Its a bit more costly but when we were little we all stayed in one room and just rented a larger size rental car. Or we just drove the van. We traveled a lot. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-of-three-or-more-kids#post-2411294 Wed, 06 Jan 2016 12:43:11 +0000 cat620 2411294@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have a friend who grew up with two siblings, and she isn't a fan of families with three kids. She gave a few scenarios, so I'm wondering how other moms feel about this. How do you make it work for your family?</p> <p>Things she said:<br /> -When there are 3 kids, one sibling is always left out. Two of the siblings naturally get along better, and one is the third wheel</p> <p>-Parents have a harder time giving enough attention to each child, and the children don't get much one-on-one time</p> <p>-It's harder to eat out, because you're stuck waiting for a larger table at busy restaurants. You can't fit in a standard booth.</p> <p>-It's harder to travel, because you can't all fit in one hotel room or ride in a small car. It's also more costly, so you can't afford to vacation as often. </p> <p>I know these statements are just her opinion, and I'm not saying I agree with her. I am considering having a third child one day, so I'm just curious to hear how other people feel, and if you agree or disagree. </p>