https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 09 Jun 2026 13:45:53 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-who-didntcouldnt-bfebf-their-first/page/2#post-867031 Wed, 19 Jun 2013 08:35:50 +0000 2PeasinaPod 867031@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@septemberlove: It's also so hard when you don't have the support of your DH. When I let my DH know I just couldn't do breastfeeding anymore, he wasn't really happy with me either. I unloaded on him about how it's very easy for him to say that I should keep BFing when he wasn't the one who had to make the sacrifices. I think he got it then. </p> <p>But, if anything, I absolutely admire how much you really tried to make it work. I know you feel guilty, but you shouldn't. BFing isn't right for everyone, and FF is what so many families choose. We chose formula after I went back to work b/c it worked better for my family. So please don't feel guilty! I don't anymore! And you know what? When S is 10 and running around the playground, no one is going to look at him, shake his head and say, "oh that poor formula fed kid..." No one will know if he was BF or FF. </p> <p>@looch: &amp; @Sweet T: Right on!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-who-didntcouldnt-bfebf-their-first/page/2#post-866900 Wed, 19 Jun 2013 07:46:56 +0000 LazyLightning 866900@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I will admit...I didn't even try. She was in the nicu and I was already pretty undecided and that made it even harder. At 3 weeks old now I am happy we went with formula. Seems so much easier for us both. No pain for me, and she sleeps 2.5-4 hr stretches....I won't be having more kids but if I did we would go with formula. I promise it isn't evil. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-who-didntcouldnt-bfebf-their-first/page/2#post-866868 Wed, 19 Jun 2013 07:25:36 +0000 NavyRN2012 866868@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I attempted BFing both of my LOs, and DS was exclusively FF after 2 weeks due to severe mastitis and my lack of knowledge on BFing. DD didn't make it a week due to excessive weight loss and refusal to latch. I didn't want to be attached to a pump, so we switched to formula. DS is now 7 y/o and extremely bright so I have no regrets. I honestly don't know what we will do if we have another child though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-who-didntcouldnt-bfebf-their-first/page/2#post-866807 Wed, 19 Jun 2013 06:09:35 +0000 looch 866807@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Awww, thanks you guys, for being supportive. As I wrote, I had a difficult time finding the correct words to explain my thoughts. I look at it like this, a person can use whatever words they would like to describe things, that's not what I take issue with. The world isn't black and white and the danger lies with labels. </p> <p>In any event, we are one and done, but if we ever had a second child, I would do more work up front to try to get things to work, but if they don't, they don't. My undoing was the hospital grade pump and the ridiculous self imposed pump schedule I put myself on. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-who-didntcouldnt-bfebf-their-first/page/2#post-866698 Tue, 18 Jun 2013 23:09:43 +0000 SugarplumsMom 866698@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: thank you, you summed it up very well. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-who-didntcouldnt-bfebf-their-first/page/2#post-866684 Tue, 18 Jun 2013 22:47:00 +0000 Mrs. Blue 866684@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm still very much working through my guilt and disappointment at not being able to EBF my twins or be able to give them any amount of BM for longer than 3 months, even though they are thriving on formula. I will absolutely try again if we have another. I want so much to be able to succeed at that. I wish I could be like so many of you that say you'll give it a try but not feel guilty and torture yourself the second time around; I'm afraid that will still be a struggle for me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-who-didntcouldnt-bfebf-their-first/page/2#post-866673 Tue, 18 Jun 2013 22:35:04 +0000 SugarplumsMom 866673@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Btw, I personally despise the term intervention. It conjures up all the negative associations and guilt moms often have about FF. It's milk, it's food, it's what keeps babies alive when bf isn't possible. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-who-didntcouldnt-bfebf-their-first/page/2#post-866668 Tue, 18 Jun 2013 22:27:43 +0000 SugarplumsMom 866668@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would pump like crazy and build a stash and see how long that takes me. Actually, physically breast feeding, just thinking about it, makes me want to vomit. It was that difficult for me. I would try for the first few weeks, but I'd mainly focus on pumping since it's less excruciating. I know my supply probably won't last long that way, but from experience, it's better than fumbling for weeks and beating myself up while bleeding the whole time. I'd likely supplement with formula from the get-go too. That way it's not so much crazy pressure. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-who-didntcouldnt-bfebf-their-first/page/2#post-866658 Tue, 18 Jun 2013 22:09:20 +0000 PurpleUnicorn 866658@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was just reading this thread out of curiosity - I am currently bfing my first LO - but these replies are interesting and I want to remember them in case I CAN'T bf my second. If that happens I hope to learn from this and be able to identify when the cons outweigh the pros and not stress if I have to ff </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-who-didntcouldnt-bfebf-their-first/page/2#post-866616 Tue, 18 Jun 2013 21:30:37 +0000 photojane 866616@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Sweet T: Right on, mama!</p> <p>Like Honeybee, I have no desire to try BFing with #2. Right now, I'm honestly considered adopting #2 anyway. If we do decide to have a second bio child, though, I will very happily FF that little nugget. I know that it works for us. It won't be an intervention, it will be a thought-out and perfectly acceptable choice. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-who-didntcouldnt-bfebf-their-first/page/2#post-866539 Tue, 18 Jun 2013 20:48:30 +0000 googly-eyes 866539@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Undecided. I've gone back and forth. I think like in any birth it will depend on the circumstances, #1 whether the baby can latch well, whether I'm working at the time, whether my daughter is independent enough to entertain herself while I deal with the constant nursing in the beginning, or whether we have any help. It's just going to depend. BF would be ideal, but I have to think of the family as a whole. </p> <p>And as someone who had severe ppd, I am more at risk for having it again. I know the first time around, not being solely responsible for lo's feeding helped me just get through each day.</p> <p>In the end it will just depend on what's best for our family.</p> <p>@looch: Thank you for wording it like that. You expressed my sentiments on ff as an "intervention" exactly.</p> <p>@turtledoves: FWIW I don't think it came off like you were ok'ing that wording! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-who-didntcouldnt-bfebf-their-first/page/2#post-866519 Tue, 18 Jun 2013 20:36:43 +0000 lomom 866519@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@2PeasinaPod: I know I tried my hardest and honestly, I'm feeling okay with where we are. I hated DH for pushing me to supplement, but I think our current feeding plan is something we can all live with and it's a relief. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-who-didntcouldnt-bfebf-their-first/page/2#post-866482 Tue, 18 Jun 2013 20:17:47 +0000 winniebee 866482@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I will try again but will be cognizant of my breaking point and won't hesitate to go to formula again. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-who-didntcouldnt-bfebf-their-first/page/2#post-866476 Tue, 18 Jun 2013 20:15:16 +0000 2PeasinaPod 866476@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@septemberlove: I think we just put so much pressure on ourselves to try to breastfeed that we don't realize how much happier we are when we stop the added stress. A happy mama makes for a better experience for baby! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-who-didntcouldnt-bfebf-their-first/page/2#post-866403 Tue, 18 Jun 2013 19:44:26 +0000 lomom 866403@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm doing a mix of bfing, pumping, and formula and even though my dream was to bf and I was terrified of formula, supplementing so I could pump less and spend more time with LO has made me so happy. It's only been 2 days but I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I think, if we have a second, I'd try but not to the level I did with LO. I regret giving up time with him to pump. He spent a lot of time in his rnp while I pumped. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-who-didntcouldnt-bfebf-their-first/page/2#post-866320 Tue, 18 Jun 2013 19:01:50 +0000 MrsF 866320@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I BF my first for 12 weeks and switching to formula was definitely the right thing for our family at the time. I hope that I will be able to BF future LOs for a longer period of time, but not at the expense of a happy, functioning family. I was only able to really bond with M once I let go of the immense pressure of trying to nurse her and we have both thrived with her on formula.</p> <p> My SIL used formula for her first two and happily BF her third for a year. Different circumstances, different babies, different choice of what was best for mom &amp; baby. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-who-didntcouldnt-bfebf-their-first#post-866213 Tue, 18 Jun 2013 17:43:36 +0000 petunia354 866213@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am undecided. Honestly, although pumping sucked, it was really nice to have my husband be able to feed him in the middle of the night and to be able to run out for a couple hours by myself without having to feel guilty if my baby was hungry and needed me. The thought of having to be tied to my child for every single feeding scares me, quite honestly. I love him but I love seeing his dad bond with him while feeding him and mama needs her alone time every now and then! </p> <p>Our next LO is almost gauranteed to be pre-term like Owen was and I know from experience how difficult it was to get him to breastfeed. Sure, we probably could have persevered and made it work but in the end I'm 100% satisfied with bottle feeding. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-who-didntcouldnt-bfebf-their-first#post-866206 Tue, 18 Jun 2013 17:39:02 +0000 cyndistar3 866206@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wasn't able to ebf my first lo because I had to go back to school and wasn't able to feed or pump most of the day so my supply was terrible. This second time around it was so much easier to keep it going! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-who-didntcouldnt-bfebf-their-first#post-866193 Tue, 18 Jun 2013 17:28:20 +0000 Kiki 866193@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wasn't able to BF the first but never really cared one way or the other about it. My plan was to try and BF my second but since I wasn't able to with my first, I was resigned to the fact I wouldn't be able to. I was able to for 4 1/2 months and could have longer BUT my 36GG were killing my back so I stopped so they could go down in size...which they didn't.</p> <p> I did supplement with formula from when DD was about 1 week old as I got food poisoning an was worried about both of us having enough nutrients </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-who-didntcouldnt-bfebf-their-first#post-866125 Tue, 18 Jun 2013 16:57:49 +0000 loveisstrange 866125@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Sweet T: @looch: Agree. This is what I was thinking but couldn't figure out how to word it. It wasn't about being "PC" for me either.</p> <p>@TurtleDoves: haha, no I didn't. I was agreeing with you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-who-didntcouldnt-bfebf-their-first#post-865970 Tue, 18 Jun 2013 16:10:18 +0000 wheres_c 865970@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I could only produce in one breast, so that was never enough for my LO.</p> <p>Next time, I'm not going to stress so much about pumping and trying to increase my supply....but will give what I am able. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-who-didntcouldnt-bfebf-their-first#post-865928 Tue, 18 Jun 2013 15:47:09 +0000 looch 865928@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have written a draft response at least four times, but it all comes out sounding wrong. Last try.</p> <p>It is not about political correctness. It is about seeing the forest, not just the trees. Lactivism is offensive to a lot of parents. The strategy of using inflammatory language is hurtful. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-who-didntcouldnt-bfebf-their-first#post-865917 Tue, 18 Jun 2013 15:41:29 +0000 CupQuakeWalk 865917@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@zippylef: oh no, hope you didn't think I was on board with the word "intervention" ! I'm not!</p> <p>@Sweet T: we shouldn't [have to defend ourselves..]. I agree. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-who-didntcouldnt-bfebf-their-first#post-865914 Tue, 18 Jun 2013 15:39:20 +0000 hummusgirl 865914@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Sweet T: Amen sista! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-who-didntcouldnt-bfebf-their-first#post-865901 Tue, 18 Jun 2013 15:33:52 +0000 Sweet T 865901@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm planning on BFing our second. I feel like I am better informed this time and, since DH will be home, I'll have more support. If it doesn't work out, I hope I can accept it rather than beat myself up over it.</p> <p>Referring to formula as an intervention is really offensive to me. BFing doesn't work for everyone. I think we can all agree that we want what's best for our babies and Moms get enough crap for the decisions they have to make. My child thrived even though we were only able to BF for a month. Instead of being proud of that, I beat myself up for months because BFing didn't work. Formula isn't number one biologically but it is the number one choice for a lot if families. I don't think we should have to defend ourselves over and over again. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-who-didntcouldnt-bfebf-their-first#post-865846 Tue, 18 Jun 2013 15:07:46 +0000 strawberry 865846@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@t-mom sorry you had to go through something similar! Mine stopped as soon as my milk mostly dried up. So glad to hear that everything was ok with your 2nd! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-who-didntcouldnt-bfebf-their-first#post-865831 Tue, 18 Jun 2013 15:00:08 +0000 yin 865831@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wasn't able to breastfeed directly with my first. I exclusively pumped for a year and had to supplement for the first month. It was so much work, and I'm hesitant to do it again for my next LO. I will most definitely try to breastfeed with my second, but this time around I know to start pumping right away. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-who-didntcouldnt-bfebf-their-first#post-865785 Tue, 18 Jun 2013 14:47:07 +0000 mrsmenow 865785@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I didn't BF my first. I did my second and we really struggled. I BF for 5/6 months and then pumped for a few more months- I really struggled with supply towards the end.</p> <p>With my third it has been really easy for us. She had a great latch from the get go and so far I have haven't had any supply issues (almost 6 months in). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-who-didntcouldnt-bfebf-their-first#post-865768 Tue, 18 Jun 2013 14:42:18 +0000 T-Mom 865768@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@strawberry: I actually had very bad hives after my first child and I am certain it's related to bf hormones as you say. They stopped as soon as I stopped breastfeeding. It was horrible and I feel so bad about your experience as it sounds really severe! I didn't have that problem the 2nd time around though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-who-didntcouldnt-bfebf-their-first#post-865763 Tue, 18 Jun 2013 14:40:06 +0000 strawberry 865763@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@zippylef it's rare, but I think that it may be more common than most doctors think. There appears to be a tie in with NSAID pain relievers too (I was on Motrin due to a csection bc my lo was breech). I think because hives are so general that more women may be experiencing it, but it's not put together as being related to BF...also, their cases are probably not as extreme. If you google breastfeeding hives/postpartum hives/breastfeeding anaphylaxis a good number of personal stories come up. </p> <p>@hummusgirl I'm not sure. The allergy specialist I saw wants me to start taking Zyrtec a couple of weeks before the delivery if we have #2. I haven't looked into all the options yet :) </p>