https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 28 May 2026 02:29:32 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-with-los-4-years-apart#post-1541062 Wed, 02 Apr 2014 20:06:49 +0000 MummaColston 1541062@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've only got 1 at the moment but my brothers are 4 and 5 years older than me and we're very close. I think it's a lot more to do with personality than age though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-with-los-4-years-apart#post-1519912 Tue, 25 Mar 2014 12:12:21 +0000 keiki_mama 1519912@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No personal experience but DH is 2 years older than his brother and 9 years older than his sister. He and his sister have a better relationship, as adults, than his brother. A lot of it has to do with personality and interests. He says even as young children, they didn't play together much. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-with-los-4-years-apart#post-1519862 Tue, 25 Mar 2014 11:57:08 +0000 cascademom 1519862@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm curious about this too. We're sort of procrastinating on #2 right now. I don't want a huge age gap between kids, but am curious to know what it's like. DH and his brother are 7 years apart. They're completely different people and have very little in common. DH remembers caring for his brother as a child which I was a little unnerved by because he was a little kid still. His mom relied on him heavily, so not the best situation. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-with-los-4-years-apart#post-1519802 Tue, 25 Mar 2014 11:36:53 +0000 Beehive 1519802@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Following. 4 years sounds like a really nice age gap for us. @SugarplumsMom: that's a very interesting article! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-with-los-4-years-apart#post-1519097 Tue, 25 Mar 2014 08:26:26 +0000 junebugmama 1519097@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>J1 and J2 are 4 and a half years apart. I honestly think that was the perfect gap. Although J3 isn't here yet, trying to care for a toddler while pregnant is the pits! J1 understood when I didn't feel good, he was independent enough to handle going to the bathroom, getting his own toys, and entertaining himself. Same thing when J2 was born. He was able to help, he understood that when a baby cried I had to answer, he also was able to understand me being pregnant and that his brother was coming. This time around J2 isn't even 2 yet, he's got no clue what's about to happen to his life. I actually feel a little sad for him. Plus I also feel sad that he won't be my baby anymore, and J1 was well past the baby stage. This pregnancy was unplanned, but I truly think that if we had decided to have another we would have waited at least another year to have started trying so they were closer to the same age gap. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-with-los-4-years-apart#post-1519095 Tue, 25 Mar 2014 08:25:23 +0000 petunia354 1519095@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are planning somewhat similar spacing, probably closer to 3-4 years apart though. I'm 6 years younger than my brother and 10 years younger than my sister and we are all really close. </p> <p>I'm really looking forward to having a child in nursery/pre-school so the baby and I can have some 1 on 1 time! Also, I'm not interested at all in having 2 babies, I'd much rather have one semi self sufficient child and just 1 baby! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-with-los-4-years-apart#post-1519081 Tue, 25 Mar 2014 08:17:07 +0000 sorrycharlie 1519081@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@loveisstrange: I was just talking with my mom about this yesterday. My brother &amp; I are 4y8m apart. She said it's a lot like having two only children sometimes - well, was. Haha. But I was in kindergarten when he was born, obviously potty trained, very independent so it made it much easier for her! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-with-los-4-years-apart#post-1519063 Tue, 25 Mar 2014 08:08:05 +0000 loveisstrange 1519063@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Twine: I've read a lot about the benefits of larger child spacing to intellectual and emotional development, ie the kids are more secure and there are benefits in regards to the parents being able to devote all the needed attention to both children in baby/toddlerhood. The older child had your attention until school age and then the younger gets that same benefit because the older is in school and is more self-sufficient. I definitely noticed this growing up in my own family, with my brothers so much older. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-with-los-4-years-apart#post-1519052 Tue, 25 Mar 2014 08:03:14 +0000 Mrs. Twine 1519052@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ellie is 5 years and 2 months older than Lorelei. The only con we have found so far is that it is a little hard having kids at such different stages. Ellie sometimes gets frustrated when we go places that we have to accomodate a toddler (think naps, being wild at a museum and not wanting to look at one exhibit for long, some things are too dangerous/big/whatever still), and Lorelei has to go along with a lot of things she would rather not. Also, we had gotten so spoiled by having a kid in underwear who didn't nap and could be relied upon to not destroy the house or cause herself bodily harm if she was minimally supervised for short periods. Going back to the intensity of baby and toddler-hood was a little tough. Mostly it's been positive, though. It's a lot like having two only children. Lorelei can have as much of my time and attention as I gave Ellie at the same age, Ellie is very responsible with her (now that we are back to not having aggression) and likes to help with things like getting her ready to eat or reading books to her. They play together quite well, and are a lot closer than I was expecting them to be. So the only "issues" were all on our end as parents, and really aren't that big of a deal. It'll be fine if that's what you decide to do. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-with-los-4-years-apart#post-1519046 Tue, 25 Mar 2014 08:00:01 +0000 loveisstrange 1519046@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: Not concerned at all. My brothers are 7 and 9 years older than me. I was just curious about it from a parent's perspective. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-with-los-4-years-apart#post-1518987 Tue, 25 Mar 2014 07:16:50 +0000 SugarplumsMom 1518987@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@loveisstrange: I found this interesting blog article on child spacing.</p> <p><a href="http://www.thealphaparent.com/2012/07/what-no-one-tells-you-about-child.html" rel="nofollow">http://www.thealphaparent.com/2012/07/what-no-one-tells-you-about-child.html</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-with-los-4-years-apart#post-1518954 Tue, 25 Mar 2014 06:31:34 +0000 looch 1518954@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am 6 years older than my middle brother, 8 older than the youngest.</p> <p>It has never been an issue, what are you concerned about exactly? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-with-los-4-years-apart#post-1518935 Tue, 25 Mar 2014 06:16:13 +0000 Silva 1518935@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My friend's daughter was 6.5 when her second daughter was born. She's been thrilled with the spacing. It wasn't part of her plan, but she says she'd choose it again in a heartbeat.</p> <p>Her older daughter understands that more time needs to be dedicated to the baby, she can help out in some ways, she's really excited and loves playing with the baby.<br /> At least initially its been going, really, really well and there were no challenging transitions.</p> <p>For what its worth, my husband is about 6 years older than his youngest sister, and they are far closer than the sister he is 2 years older than. I tend to think this is more about personality than anything else- but who knows.<br /> We aren't going to try until close to or on my daughters 3rd birthday &amp; I'm really excited about the plan. Initially it was longer than I wanted to wait, but the more I think about it the better it seems! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-with-los-4-years-apart#post-1518931 Tue, 25 Mar 2014 06:04:57 +0000 Dandelion 1518931@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Well LO isn't quite here but I'm really liking the spacing even while pregnant. DS is 6.5 and actually really helpful to me. He gets clothes out of the dryer and does a lot of chores that are uncomfortable to me right now.</p> <p>He understands my discomfort. He knows WHY I can't do things and is really excited to be able to teach his little brother about all the things that he loves. He doesn't dread having to share toys because their levels will be so different. I've saved a lot of DS' s old toys and he's real excited to have someone to show them too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-with-los-4-years-apart#post-1518924 Tue, 25 Mar 2014 05:53:48 +0000 bookwormmama 1518924@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is our plan. DH is 4 years older than his brother and they are really close IMO. I'm not sure how it was when they were really young, but they have similar interests and have been close as long as I've known DH.</p> <p>The boys I babysit are 3.5ish years apart. I like the spacing more than the 2 years between the older sister and middle brother. There's less bickering (because the youngest is a toddler) and they play pretty well together. I also think it's much easier to deal with a 3-4 year old while pregnant/dealing with a newborn or baby than it would be with a 2 year old. The youngest was a really colicky baby so I ended up dealing with him away from the middle child a lot. Because he was older he would play by himself or watch a movie when I was really busy. He was also potty trained so he could go to the bathroom by himself. It was just so much easier than if he had been 2 because he was still in diapers. The other nice thing was that the mom got time alone with the new baby every other day for a couple hours because the oldest was in school (she was 6) and the middle had preschool for a couple hours. </p> <p>Sorry for the novel! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-with-los-4-years-apart#post-1518918 Tue, 25 Mar 2014 05:07:30 +0000 Applesandbananas 1518918@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Following, this is where we are with family planning. If, big if, we have another, we won't even talk about trying until after LO's 3rd birthday. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-with-los-4-years-apart#post-1518916 Tue, 25 Mar 2014 04:46:14 +0000 lamariniere 1518916@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No direct experience, but my husband is 4 years older than his middle brother (and 7 years older than the last one). My husband is closer to his younger brother than the middle one, but I think it's more of a question of personality rather than age. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/moms-with-los-4-years-apart#post-1518910 Tue, 25 Mar 2014 04:02:56 +0000 loveisstrange 1518910@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If we end up having another, chances are that they'll be between 4 and 6 years apart. I'll graduate with my BA a month after C's 3rd birthday. Then I'll need time to find and hold a job for a while before I could get pregnant again. So... all in all, that's what we're looking at.</p> <p>So, how has that been for you? Pros? Cons? </p>