https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 24 May 2026 23:08:38 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/more-than-two#post-1936512 Sun, 09 Nov 2014 11:18:52 +0000 Crisark 1936512@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My daughter's are 11, 7 and 19 months. Having my oldest be so much older has been a blessing. She's very mature for her age and has wanted to help a lot more than I expected.<br /> My husband and I both work full time outside of the home. With two of the three being in school things get hectic getting everyone where they need to be and then depending on what his shift is that day I may have to also get the baby ready and take her to my in laws to watch while he's at work.<br /> Additionally to that my DH isn't able to drive due to a vision impairment so things can get complicated.<br /> Aside from all of that I can stay that 2 to 3 was way easier than 1 to 2 was. Once you have 2 it's almost like adding another doesn't change the dynamic much. If that makes sense.<br /> It's all about shared responsibility. That's one of the only ways we've made it work as smoothly as we have. DH does laundry and cleans and does dishes when he's off during the week all while having the baby all day bc I'm working. Things don't pile up just bc I'm not home to do them. He also helps with homework and things for the big girls. Everyone has to pull their own weight. We also share bed time duty. We take turns each night. It really really helps. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/more-than-two#post-1936500 Sun, 09 Nov 2014 11:07:49 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 1936500@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Crisark: I didn't take your comment as snark, so please come on back share. I am especially interested in hearing from moms who also work FT since that will be my situation. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/more-than-two#post-1936482 Sun, 09 Nov 2014 10:46:00 +0000 Crisark 1936482@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sorry I didn't respond sooner. And my original statement wasn't to sound snarky about starting later. Just didn't seem you wanted people that started younger to reply was all. I just didn't want to intrude on your post. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/more-than-two#post-1929041 Tue, 04 Nov 2014 12:44:44 +0000 plantains 1929041@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: maybe when you have number 1 and the baby is 6 weeks old and fussing over everything so DH can't sleep you can get him to sign a contract agreeing to two :wink: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/more-than-two#post-1929026 Tue, 04 Nov 2014 12:38:32 +0000 looch 1929026@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: haha, right? I actually only know of one C-level woman with 4 kids, she had twins, two times, her husband was a stay at home dad!</p> <p>I wouldn't be able to work the way I do if I didn't have the help I do, my parents are my before and after care for my son, they take him to the doctor, etc. For example, he's off today, and they're home with him so I don't have to take the day off, it wasn't even a thought. I think where it gets hairy is when they are in school, not so much when they are little...schools in my area ask a lot of parents, and we're still in a 4's program! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/more-than-two#post-1929018 Tue, 04 Nov 2014 12:33:55 +0000 Mrs. High Heels 1929018@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: @Mrs. Lemon-Lime: Funny you guys bring this up because one thing DH and I have noticed amongst our group of friends is that of all the families we know with 3 or more children, at least one is a SAHP or they have a really really flexible schedule. I hear stories from them about how long it takes them to do drop offs and pick ups alone for 3 kids, esp if they go to diff schools! It's practically a full-time job. 2 hours in the morning, 2 hours in the afternoon... maybe an hour for lunch... day is practically over! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/more-than-two#post-1928926 Tue, 04 Nov 2014 11:59:49 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 1928926@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: were you eavesdropping on my convo this morning? lol</p> <p>I told my husband this morning no one I know with has three children. Most of my career-oriented friends are not married or have children. The women in leadership roles in my company have 1 or 2. All of my husband's friends with children have two only. </p> <p>He's delusional. His mom had three, but she started at 20 and SAH once she had #2.</p> <p>I told him three Mat Leaves is too much, he said to me "have twins!" as if we can just will two babies at a time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/more-than-two#post-1928809 Tue, 04 Nov 2014 11:06:35 +0000 looch 1928809@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So I did an informal "survey" of the women in my immediate area, and not one of them has three kids! Two yes, but not three. As you would expect, all of them were in their 30's when they began having children. There are several in our group that are younger, and they are single. Now of the men in the group, it's mostly two children each, a lot of them have wives that stay at home.</p> <p>I think you should aim for twins, lol. No seriously, all joking aside, I think three and a full time job are a tall order. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/more-than-two#post-1928804 Tue, 04 Nov 2014 11:01:42 +0000 plantains 1928804@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: whenever DD is sick, I can work from home. If this wasn't the case, life would be a whole lot more stressful for us. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/more-than-two#post-1928793 Tue, 04 Nov 2014 10:58:52 +0000 jetsa 1928793@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: lol, my MIL watches DS on Mondays and has been wanting to take him at least every other week on Sunday's and I had to put a stop to that. Every once in a while is fine but not all the time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/more-than-two#post-1928784 Tue, 04 Nov 2014 10:55:51 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 1928784@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaBehr: I'm so not a fan of an aupair even though their rate is better than a FT nanny. Do you have aspirations to become an administrator? </p> <p>@jetsa: Ugh, I forsee my mom wanting to change her daily commute to 3 night sleepovers. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/more-than-two#post-1928702 Tue, 04 Nov 2014 10:28:04 +0000 jetsa 1928702@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: just wanted to chime in that 45 minutes away isn't that helpful on the day to day. My inlaws live about an hour away and we're planning to move closer. My DH also travels a lot so that makes evenings more difficult as well. Even with just 1 the additional help day-to-day is amazing. Honestly if my job wasn't flexible (I come and go as I please) and if I hadnt cut back to 4 day weeks I don't know how we'd do it. Kids get sick a lot and all the grandparents still work and so it was either myself or my husband who had to take off, and as mamasig said moms just do more and my company is okay with being flexible because I have young kids. I'm not saying you can't swing it because I'm sure you can but help from family is huge and is more important than I ever realized before kids. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/more-than-two#post-1928591 Tue, 04 Nov 2014 09:32:36 +0000 Mamasig 1928591@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaBehr: Glad to hear you say 2-3 was easier than 1-2. Actually, I found going from 1-2 wasn't bad. But going from 0 kids to 1 was a big shock to me - mainly the lack of sleep. I think my body is just used to it now! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/more-than-two#post-1928427 Tue, 04 Nov 2014 08:38:52 +0000 MamaBehr 1928427@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>PS your title makes me think of "True Stories" from MTV years ago, remember that? This episode would be called "True Stories: A mom of Three" :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/more-than-two#post-1928425 Tue, 04 Nov 2014 08:37:07 +0000 MamaBehr 1928425@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have three, but I'm 31. I also SAH right now, so not exactly like your situation.<br /> First, going from 2 to 3 was so much easier than 1 to 2. Especially if your older ones are still younger (like preschool or younger). I'm used to being pulled into multiple directions, so the baby didn't make things harder. In fact, in the beginning he was like an accessory!<br /> Having a third did affect my career, I can't go back for awhile. We can't afford the childcare costs for three in daycare, especially on a teaching salary (that's what I use to do). However, I have heard amazing things about aupairs. They aren't that expensive on a month to month basis (like $300 a month) but they live with you and you have to give them their own bedroom. </p> <p>Three kids is a sacrifice, for now. I think about ten years from now when they are all friends, in school, and I'm back at work and I'm happy with that life. I'm really happy with that life. I want my kids to have a big family, so that they aren't alone (my family is across the country and my husband's family doesn't have any cousins for my kids yet). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/more-than-two#post-1928357 Tue, 04 Nov 2014 07:59:32 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 1928357@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mamasig: my mom lives close enough, 45 minutes away, but my husband isn't keen on having her watch our children. We have looked into aupairs, nannies, and daycare centers as alternatives to GrandmaCare. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/more-than-two#post-1928113 Mon, 03 Nov 2014 22:05:23 +0000 Mamasig 1928113@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: got it! Do you live near family? Honestly, that is a HUGE help to me. My husband works a shift schedule including nights so I'm the one with the bulk of responsibilities. My mom and sister (especially my mom) are a huge help. Even if family wasn't around maybe hiring help would beneficial. Not sure if that's feasible for you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/more-than-two#post-1928087 Mon, 03 Nov 2014 21:41:01 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 1928087@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mamasig: Thanks for sharing. Both my husband and I have career ambitions. He will rely on me to do the bulk of the work because my job is flexible, but in order for me to move up I will lose some flexibility. In order for us to afford three kids (ie childcare) I will have to move up. Ugh!</p> <p>@Crisark: I'm already 32, so I can't go back and change the timing of when baby making began. But, I'd love to hear about how you manage 3 children and a career. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/more-than-two#post-1927670 Mon, 03 Nov 2014 16:44:34 +0000 Crisark 1927670@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have 3 but I'm only 32.<br /> I'd be happy to give my story if you decide you'd like information from those of us that had our children earlier. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/more-than-two#post-1926922 Mon, 03 Nov 2014 09:42:47 +0000 Mamasig 1926922@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Well, I'm not totally there yet because I only have two right now, but we are planning on 3. I had DS1 about a month before I turned 34 and I had DS2 at 35 - They are 20 months apart. We are planning for baby #3 - hope to be pregnant when DS2 turns 2.</p> <p>#1 - It hasn't impacted my career at all. I'm at a good company doing a job I enjoy. I had this job before I had kids, and I don't really have ambitions to move up and get into a management position. I'm happy where I am.</p> <p>#2 - With the 1st child, I had to get used to the idea that moms do more of the work. I'm sure it's not like that for everyone, but for me and most people I know that is the case. Dads help, but you have to tell them to help and what to do. They don't just "get it" like moms do. Once I realized that he wasn't doing it on purpose and that men are just programmed that way, it became easier. When we had the 2nd, more work did shift to him naturally. He tends to our older son more who is a daddy's boy. We got married and had our 1st son within the year, so we didn't have a lot of alone time together. I was already in my 30s so we knew that we couldn't wait long to have kids. But we don't mind. We don't feel like we've missed out on anything. I think we've become happier since having kids and even more so with having the 2nd.</p> <p>#3 - Nothing. We didn't want to wait long because I was already in my mid 30s when we got married. We also wanted our kids close in age. So far it has all worked out.</p> <p>I know #3 will be added stress and work, but the love and joy my kids bring me will completely outweigh it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/more-than-two#post-1926744 Mon, 03 Nov 2014 06:36:46 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 1926744@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We haven't even had our first yet, but Mr. Lime is set on 3 children. I waffle between 1 and 2, but really just want one.</p> <p>Anyway, I'd like to hear from moms of three who had their first after age 33. </p> <p>How did having so many children impact your career? How did having so many children change the dynamic of your relationship with your SO? Without going back in time to start sooner, what would you change about how you started &amp; expanded your family? </p>