https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 24 Apr 2026 09:00:48 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/morning-tantrums-help-4-year-old/page/2#post-2808095 Tue, 06 Mar 2018 14:50:38 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2808095@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@swan_and_cygnets: Happy to chat! Feel free to PM. Unfortunately I probably don't have a lot to offer, because most of these issues resolved on their own. Kiddo mostly stopped napping at school, which made bedtime easier and seemed to make wakeup time easier as well. We also started engaging a bit less with the crankiness, and started lifting her up and just talking to her about the day and weather, while getting her dressed and ready, so there aws usually a kernel of something she would hang on to and snap out of being grumpy. And toward the end of the year we shifted our schedules to let her sleep later, which synced up with her rhythm a bit better as well. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/morning-tantrums-help-4-year-old/page/2#post-2808002 Tue, 06 Mar 2018 10:10:55 +0000 swan_and_cygnets 2808002@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I see this post is 9 months old - but Mrs. Carrot I could have written every single word you have written - so I hope you see this. Would love to chat and trade ideas with you, since we clearly have the same kiddo! LOL. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/morning-tantrums-help-4-year-old/page/2#post-2740858 Fri, 26 May 2017 14:33:41 +0000 travellingbee 2740858@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>She sounds EXACTLY like my son. We wake him up and get dressed and in car right away. He eats at school. But it's still a battle sometimes. We used to have to occasionally dress him at school because it was too hard to fight him at home. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/morning-tantrums-help-4-year-old/page/2#post-2740845 Fri, 26 May 2017 14:08:15 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2740845@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mediagirl: Thanks for asking! We actually haven't had to try much, weirdly. She's been going to sleep much more easily than usual the last 2 weeks - still late, but going to bed mostly on her own, versus us having to hang out in the room with her, which she always insisted on. I had to go to the bathroom one evening and told her I'll be right back and then got distracted and didn't come back and before I knew it she was asleep, so we did it again the next night and except for one day, she hasn't asked us to come back. So that might be helping some. Then in the mornings, I admit I did resort to a bit of competitive bribery - I told her she could have an "extra" dessert if she gets dressed and brushes her teeth before her dad does, and if he beats her, he has her dessert. That seemed to work really well the first day I tried it - she sprung up, got ready, no fuss, no muss, and I let her pick out a small piece of dessert (an M&amp;M or a small chocolate ball, which is what she usually gets in the evening) after breakfast. Not the healthiest approach, but I've now done it for two weeks running and it works every time, and half the time she doesn't even remember that I offered the dessert option or she picks watermelon as her dessert. So we'll see how it goes. We're changing out her bed this weekend (moving her from the crib minus rail that she's been in and into a full size bed), and her 4th birthday is next week and lots of excitement with family in town so there might be other ups and downs to manage but the last two weeks haven't been bad at all. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/morning-tantrums-help-4-year-old/page/2#post-2740769 Fri, 26 May 2017 12:05:41 +0000 sarac 2740769@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This was my with my oldest and going to bed super late. As you would suspect, it got far better when she got a little older and finally stopped napping. But we still dress the night before, and she gets to watch 1 or 2 short episodes of a tv show in the mornings to motivate her to wake up. We've also used a sticker chart when it's been bad. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/morning-tantrums-help-4-year-old/page/2#post-2740706 Fri, 26 May 2017 10:41:32 +0000 mediagirl 2740706@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Carrot: have you tried some of these suggestions? How are things going now? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/morning-tantrums-help-4-year-old/page/2#post-2737083 Wed, 17 May 2017 13:08:56 +0000 dolphin 2737083@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Carrot: I don't have any new suggestions but just want to say I feel for you! We get our fair share of morning tantrums and it's the worse. Luckily it's not every morning otherwise I'd cry and hit my head against the wall but we've had to fight her to get her changed for school and out the door in time. She doesn't have any problems getting out of bed but she just moves really slow in the morning. Anyway, just want to say good luck and I hope it improves for you! I know it can be so frustrating and it makes mornings stressful on everyone. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/morning-tantrums-help-4-year-old/page/2#post-2736896 Wed, 17 May 2017 08:00:18 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2736896@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you all so much for the suggestions! Lots of great stuff for us to try, for sure. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/morning-tantrums-help-4-year-old#post-2736870 Wed, 17 May 2017 07:05:10 +0000 honeybear 2736870@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>To add to my prior post, I would also push back the wake up time and not worry about trying to get the school to not do a nap. My son was still taking fairly regular naps at 4, and yes, he was up until 9:30/10/sometimes 10:30. (That's still his bedtime, two years later. I think some children are naturally night owls and it's sort of futile to resist it too strenuously.) He woke up on his own around 8/8:30. I agree with the school's' philosophy on not keeping children awake if they're inclined to nap. I would ask them to add more physical movement in the afternoon instead and then tinker around with wake up time and extra physical endeavors in the evening to see what works best. Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/morning-tantrums-help-4-year-old#post-2736858 Wed, 17 May 2017 03:22:58 +0000 Pancakes 2736858@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I just wanted to offer you some commiseration. My DD is 6 and a night owl/late sleeper. We are fortunate to not need to leave for the day until 8:40ish. I often have to go in and wake her up at 7:45 or 8, and sometimes the fastest way to wake her up is to dress her myself while she's still half asleep. She's a slow mover in the mornings and she prefers to eat her breakfast in PJs but our morning goes more smoothly when she is dressed and pottied before she eats breakfast. If she can do those things by 8 am then we can be ready for shoes on at 8:30. I'll agree with others--at age 4, if she had a nap she would be up all night (though she doesn't nap now and is still sometimes awake at 10). If you can streamline at all to let her sleep later I would recommend it I hope you find a happy solution for your family. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/morning-tantrums-help-4-year-old#post-2736848 Tue, 16 May 2017 23:00:24 +0000 ALV91711 2736848@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I feel you. DS is 4 and while he is an early bird there have been more days lately that he is sleeping in. On those days when I have to wake him he is a grumpy disaster. He has one speed, which is slow, in the mornings. </p> <p>Now that the weather is nice can you let her play outside while you get dinner ready etc, to wear her out a bit. DS will play in our yard alone for a bit and I find that those nights he goes to bed easier. </p> <p>Our daycare still naps and it can be hard sometimes. On the weekends he sometimes naps, but we don't make him. We just enforce a quiet time. </p> <p>Bedtime is always 8pm. Some nights he is awake until close to 10, which is way too late. But as long as he is quiet in bed we leave him be. He has a soft light in his bed that stays on for 10 minutes and sometimes he will turn that on and look at a book. </p> <p>Hopefully you can figure out something soon that makes your mornings better. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/morning-tantrums-help-4-year-old#post-2736842 Tue, 16 May 2017 22:17:15 +0000 gingerbebe 2736842@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am not a morning person and I never have been. It was really hard for my folks to get me up for school. I think she basically needs a toddler snooze button. Like she needs an alarm and some gradual ways to wake up. I agree with all the suggestions for indirect wake ups like a lamp switch on a timer that turns on in the morning or opening her blinds and curtains quietly while she's asleep so the sun can help wake her, playing upbeat music she likes in the house and gradually increasing the volume of it like a cell phone alarm does. Talk to your husband loudly and don't tip toe around. Make other things wake her up more naturally instead of you.</p> <p>I also agree you should try to wake her as late as possible. Put her in bed in soft cotton separates at night, potty, teeth, and right to the car. Have a toasted bagel or GoGurt already in the car with water or milk and have her eat on the way to school. Don't engage her and try to be all up in her grill, just silently move her along and let her just wake up. Play some soft music in the car and let her be. Socks and shoes can come on once you arrive. I really don't see why you can't wake her at 730am. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/morning-tantrums-help-4-year-old#post-2736835 Tue, 16 May 2017 21:50:38 +0000 honeybear 2736835@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Carrot: I'd try to get her more outdoor time/exercise in the afternoon or early evening. If you can, swing by a park on the way home or take a walk or bike ride around the neighborhood or go to the pool/rec center in the evening. If that's difficult, ask the school to increase outside/physical play post-nap time. My son is a night owl too, and my tried and true solution to getting him to sleep is getting him sweating (or swimming) in the early evening. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/morning-tantrums-help-4-year-old#post-2736600 Tue, 16 May 2017 12:57:58 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2736600@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Carrot: I would totally push her wake up time to 7:30. Put a cheap light timer in her room so the lights turn on at 7 am. Open her door so she hears the noises in the house. But by 7:30 I would basically get her up, carry her to the potty, and put her in the car. Use the extra time that you aren't fighting with her to pack her a breakfast and stuff for the car. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/morning-tantrums-help-4-year-old#post-2736597 Tue, 16 May 2017 12:55:00 +0000 petitenoisette 2736597@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would wake her up way later. An hour to get ready in the morning seems excessive for a kid that is clearly not ready to be awake then. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/morning-tantrums-help-4-year-old#post-2736594 Tue, 16 May 2017 12:52:56 +0000 Truth Bombs 2736594@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@pwnstar: Great idea! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/morning-tantrums-help-4-year-old#post-2736592 Tue, 16 May 2017 12:50:24 +0000 pwnstar 2736592@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Carrot: As a spin off to what @Truth Bombs: suggested, what about doing lunch with her for a week (when she would normally nap) to keep her awake during that time to get an early bedtime? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/morning-tantrums-help-4-year-old#post-2736588 Tue, 16 May 2017 12:44:11 +0000 winniebee 2736588@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Carrot: i believe that clark has an alarm function on it too </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/morning-tantrums-help-4-year-old#post-2736586 Tue, 16 May 2017 12:43:38 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2736586@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@winniebee: That's a really interesting idea, thanks! We do have the OK to Wake clock that we never really used so that might be worth a try. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/morning-tantrums-help-4-year-old#post-2736582 Tue, 16 May 2017 12:42:35 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2736582@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Truth Bombs: Yup, I completely agree, and yes, we're thinking about trying it out with the schedule shift. As I was writing this post it was occurring to me that we might be out of creative ideas at this point and need to try and see what happens with a schedule shift. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/morning-tantrums-help-4-year-old#post-2736579 Tue, 16 May 2017 12:40:58 +0000 winniebee 2736579@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Carrot: maybe she also just doesn't like being woken up - because the time difference for wake up time that you've outlined isn't too great (except she's going to bed a lot later during the week). How about a tot alarm clock that wakes her up and then she can toss and turn and lay in bed and get used to the idea before she has to talk to someone? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/morning-tantrums-help-4-year-old#post-2736576 Tue, 16 May 2017 12:39:54 +0000 Truth Bombs 2736576@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Carrot: Can you and your husband alternate days to go in to work late and let her sleep to her natural time for a full week? If you're waking her up about 9 hours after she falls asleep, I can totally understand why she's cranky and why she would need a nap at school. I agree with the school policy not to wake her if she falls asleep for nap, especially because it sounds like she's chronically overtired. But if you could allow her to wake up on her own time she'd be less likely to nap at school, and then more likely to fall asleep at a more appropriate bed time. But she would need to do that for more than just two days in a row on the weekend to make it her new normal. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/morning-tantrums-help-4-year-old#post-2736571 Tue, 16 May 2017 12:31:51 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2736571@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Truth Bombs: 6:45-7, leave the house around 7:45-8. Her natural wake-up time (on weekends, sans naps) is 7:30-8. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/morning-tantrums-help-4-year-old#post-2736568 Tue, 16 May 2017 12:30:17 +0000 Truth Bombs 2736568@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Carrot: What time is it that you're waking her up on weekday mornings? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/morning-tantrums-help-4-year-old#post-2736563 Tue, 16 May 2017 12:22:41 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2736563@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@winniebee: She goes to kindergarten in September 2018, so we really don't want to move her at this point. We have one of those rare finds in the DC area that's a full day program, close to home, affordable and the kid loves it. We're kinda just been fighting the fight at home as much as possible and hoping she'll just outgrow the nap on her own, but I definitely plan to revisit the question with the teachers/director periodically. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/morning-tantrums-help-4-year-old#post-2736560 Tue, 16 May 2017 12:17:19 +0000 winniebee 2736560@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Carrot: what are your plans for next school year? will she be at the same school? if she will continue to be at this school, frankly I would tell the director that they need to cut her nap or else you'll find a new school. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/morning-tantrums-help-4-year-old#post-2736537 Tue, 16 May 2017 11:41:55 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2736537@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@winniebee: I completely agree it's the root of the problem. Because there hasn't been a swell of parents asking for a no nap exception, they don't want to single her out, and they take the approach of "if she wants to nap, we shouldn't stop her." Which I get to an extent, but we haven't been able to move the needle on it on our own. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/morning-tantrums-help-4-year-old#post-2736523 Tue, 16 May 2017 11:12:20 +0000 winniebee 2736523@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Carrot: I don't understand why the school can't not nap her. They're required to give rest time at certain ages, but can't they give her books or puzzles to do? I don't really know many 4 year olds who still nap - I know that if my son had even a short nap at age 4, his bedtime would be 10 pm. I really think this is the root of the problem! I would be very upset if my son's school didn't honor my request in terms of naps. Even with our 2 year old - if I say - wake him up by X time, the school will honor my request. The fact that you've consulted with sleep therapists who say she doesn't need a nap and then the school continues to let her nap....that would not fly over here! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/morning-tantrums-help-4-year-old#post-2736522 Tue, 16 May 2017 11:09:31 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2736522@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: Unfortunately, yeah. Interestingly, when I spoke with a sleep therapist back in January (this is an ongoing issue for us so I wanted to make sure we weren't screwing her up), she said that it was interesting that her school would stick to the nap. She said most schools don't do it after 3-4 years old, and the sleep professionals find that to be more damaging to kids, so while it's a pain in the rear for us, it seems to be a better approach from a professional sleep perspective (at least the ones we talked to). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/morning-tantrums-help-4-year-old#post-2736521 Tue, 16 May 2017 11:07:32 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2736521@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@pwnstar: I agree with you. My point is that we've tried all that and it just doesn't work. When I say bedtime, I am talking about the time she actually falls asleep, not when we put her to bed. Her average fall asleep time on a weekday, if she naps for even a half hour, is between 10-11 PM. I can put her to bed at 8, 9, or 10, and she won't fall asleep any earlier. We tried putting her to bed at the time she actually is ready to sleep for a week or so and then moving the time up slowly by 15 minutes like you said, and it didn't change a thing, she'll still fall asleep when she's good and ready physically. We've tried just getting her in bed earlier, and it only causes her and us more frustration because she's just not ready to actually sleep. Right now she is in bed between 9-9:30 on weekdays, but she hasn't fallen asleep before 10:30 in months, If we put her to bed at 10:30, she'll usually take 10-15 minutes to calm down and then fall asleep. The only time she falls asleep quickly and easily is on weekends and she hasn't napped, in which case she has about 12-13 hours between the time she wakes up and the time she's ready to fall asleep. I had a consult with 2 different sleep therapists in January to get a check on what else we could do, and neither of them could recommend anything beyond what we've already tried and done. </p>